Forsaken And Begotten
by Arldetta
Summary: This one is for Shanobi! AU - (Obi-Qui) Obi is sent to Bandomeer but never makes it. Your home for Obi-Angst! ;) ------- NOW COMPLETE :D Please R&R!
1. Prologue: Paths not Taken

Title: Forsaken and Begotten  
  
Author: Arldetta/Knight MysAri  
  
Disclaimers: I wish I owned SW that way I could have Obi Whenever I wanted, but this is real life and I don't. : ( George Lucas and Fox and ILM and Lucas Films own them all.  
  
Spoilers: Not in this one, because you can read up to page 46 in the JA books and then ignore everything else. Except, you would also have to ignore the conversation between Yoda and Qui-Gon saying that he was also going to Bandomeer, cause in this fic, he doesn't.  
  
Summary: Obi-Wan has not been chosen as a Padawan and the Council sends him to Bandomeer. While on route the ship is attacked and Obi-Wan is lost. The whole thing goes on from there.  
  
Author's Note: This story was the Plot Bunny of the most illustrious Shanobi, which this story is dedicated to. She posted the baby bunny on the Plot Bunny Thread at TF.N and it grabbed me immediately. I know, I know, I have like 3/4 other stories still out there that need completion, but you can only write that which beckons you, so I am here writing this. I promise to get back to those ASAP. I do want to finish them, it's just taking longer for inspiration to come than I thought. Please don't forget to review. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you!!! :D :D  
  
Also, 's mean thoughts, {} mental conversation, //'s italics and **'s emphasis.  
  
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Prologue - Paths Not Taken  
  
"We walked the narrow path,  
  
beneath the smoking skies.  
  
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference  
  
between darkness and light." - It Can't Rain All The Time(Crow Soundtrack)  
  
  
  
There were times when the darkness was comforting and inviting. It's only desire to envelop and take a person away from the pains and sorrows of the living world. Banishing worry to leave only a deep serenity. Why would anyone want to deny such a wonderful thing as darkness? The young boy thought. After all, what was there to live for when your dreams are all but shattered? And yet the grey haze that brought with it the grace of light and warmth and beauty crept into the edges of the void. And mentally, he had to suppress the shiver that ran through him, as the comforting rays of light drove out the cold that surrounded him. The intensity of the brightness grew, also bringing on the intense heat of his body. Progressively, Obi-Wan became aware of the fire that emanated from his wounded form. His hazy mind recalled the brief conversation he had with Clat'Ha and that he had been pounded by a Hutt from Offworld. The fever was obviously a side effect from my injuries.  
  
He prepared himself to sit up, but even those small movements caused him to wince at the pain. Pushing the pain aside, he centered his cloudy mind and called upon the Force to heal him. After some long minutes, he could feel the nagging aches dull to a throbbing discomfort. Gently, he pulled himself up to a sitting position and opened his eyes. Immediately, he shut them again as the harsh glare of the infirmary lights caused his eyes to dilate too quickly, inviting a new pain. Raising a hand to shield against them, he carefully, re-opened the captivating sea change orbs. Glancing around he took in his surroundings, and noticed he was alone. I guess I'm not even that important to the people I was assigned to.  
  
But that sarcastic thought brought with it agonies that quickly over took those of his physical body and stabbed right through his heart. He was heading to Bandomeer to become a Farmer. Not a glorious Jedi Knight, but a Jedi Agroculturalist, a failure. The realization made him nauseous, and he soon found himself lying back down on his medical bed. I don't care how selfish it sounds, but I don't want to be a farmer!! His mind cried out at the injustice he had been forced into. Fully succumbing to his misery and pain, he fell back into the abyss of darkness.  
  
The next time Obi-Wan emerged from the void, he knew he had been woken by something. At first he gathered his thoughts so as to figure out what could have pulled him from the abyss, when he was suddenly jerked in his bed. A loud boom could be heard and Obi-Wan knew instantly something was happening. Forcing his protesting limbs to move, he hurried as best he could to sit up. Another thud and he was almost thrown from his berth. Gripping the sides of his cot, Obi-Wan winced against the pain that ran through him.  
  
Soothing his rushed thoughts, he called again upon the healing power of the Force. When he felt it wrap around him like a soft down comforter in winter, he slid off the sleep couch. Removing the tubes that were placed to heal him, Obi-Wan hurried from the medical ward to find out what was going on. Bangs and shimmies lurched the ship from side to side. Obi-Wan had to use every ounce of his strength to keep upright. Just up ahead of him a giant blast knocked him off his feet. Smoke filled the small corridor, causing Obi-Wan to cough as the hot billows seared his lungs. Shouting and growling erupted all around him, confusing the dazed boy.  
  
Shaking his head clear from the fever still trying to overpower him, Obi- Wan glanced up to find a group of Togorian Pirates moving toward him. Two broke off from the group to stop in front of the downed and wounded former Jedi. Speaking in their own tongue, Obi-Wan could not make out what they were saying. It appeared to be some kind of argument, but he still had no idea what was the problem at hand. Finally they stopped their debate and one raised their blaster rifle only to bring it back down on his temple. Darkness quickly wrapped her nightly robes around him.  
  
*******  
  
He sat alone in the map room, gazing at the twinkling worlds floating around him. In all the galaxy only one of the sparkling planets really had his attention, Bandomeer. His mind still debated his choice, despite the futility in it. The boy had too much anger. He could have turned. His fate was already decided by the Council and there is nothing I can do about it now. Even at his half excuses, Qui-Gon somehow felt wrong. And that sensation scared him more than he cared to admit. Suddenly, the door opened and he watched as a small shadow entered.  
  
"Alright, if join you I do? Intruding not am I?" The ancient Master asked, but Qui-Gon detected a small hint of something else in the tiny Jedi's tone.  
  
"Of course not," Qui-Gon assured. He watched as the green being worked itself onto one of the benches lining the wall. Once Yoda had settled himself, the tall Knight could see the deep sorrow etched in the wrinkled visage of the sage. "Is there something wrong, Master?"  
  
A long sigh escaped the petite form as he nodded. "The ship, /Monument/, attacked has been. Many casualties there were." He paused, and Qui-Gon leaned in closer. The Knight could sense that that in itself was not the reason for the Master's grief. Silently, he waited for Yoda to continue. Sighing again he added, "A promising student was lost." Yoda rested his chin on the top of his gimmer stick and looked up to the stars.  
  
At that moment, Qui-Gon's heart sped up and his anxiety grew. He was afraid of the Master's answer and somehow Qui-Gon already knew it before asking, but his hope forced him to press, "Who?"  
  
Heaving yet another sigh Yoda fought for composure. Qui-Gon could see how much this must have been upsetting the green Jedi. "The young initiate to Bandomeer we sent, Obi-Wan Kenobi."  
  
In a rush, Qui-Gon felt all his hopes, desires and dreams die a violent and horrible death. He had lost the young boy with those compelling blue-green eyes that invited you into his soul. His heart seized for a moment as he tried to catch his breath. Quietly, he whispered, "What have I done?"  
  
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Like I said, please review if you can. I would really, really appreciate it. And I am not below begging, so if that would help tell me and I'll do it. : D 


	2. Chapter 1: Sister Moon, Don't Forget Me

Here we go folks. This one will be coming as I can complete them, and after I get my ok's. Thank you all for the lovely feedback already. I'm completely floored. I will do my thank you's at the end.  
  
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Chapter 1 - Sister Moon, Don't forget me.  
  
"Why can't the moon stay full forever? Right now she's got nothing on her mind.  
  
Will this neverland Free me from its clutching hand It won't release me." - Full Forever(Goo Goo Dolls)  
  
Oceans of emotion gazed out upon the soft white powdery craters just beyond the portal. The scars of one pummeled constantly by asteroids. At that moment the youth could almost feel the celestial body's pain from the abuse of space. In an odd way he felt a strange kinship to the moon they hid behind. Feeling exposed to the elements and retaining the scars of trust and hope being beaten and betrayed. His stomach lightened again, and the young man began to worry. He had often felt the butterflies of anticipation before a battle, but these were different. Almost as if they were trying to warn him of something but what ever it was remained just beyond his reach.  
  
He was trying to banish the sensation so it could not conflict with what was to come, but found it impossible. The gravity well created by the nearby moon was the perfect hiding place for the pirate vessel, as it waited poised to pounce on it's next wayward victim. It was only a matter of time before their next quarry would be approaching and he sought desperately for the peace he needed. He had been standing there for hours deep in thought, still searching, when his friend finally entered the small observatory.  
  
"Ready yourself, cub," declared the grey and white Togorian captain of the /Night's Scream/ as he stopped just behind the youth. "A ship has just been picked up on our long range sensors. We are preparing to knock it out of hyperspace in a few minutes."  
  
Soft ginger bangs slid down over sad seas as the young adult looked down for a moment. "You wouldn't be able to stop this Tuuvu, would you? If I told you I have a bad feeling about this?" A gentle paw came to rest upon the young shoulder and the lad looked up at his friend. Tuuvu almost released his hold at the sorrow he saw in the turbulent seas, but remained in the hopes he could calm the storm.  
  
In most cases the Captain was eager to listen to the boy's feelings, but when it came to the raids, he knew there was little he could do to prevent them. "You know I would if I could. But there are others on this ship that would not be pleased with such a decision." Nodding the youth accepted the elder being's answer. He also knew of whom the captain spoke, Kuuur, the first mate of the crew. Patting the boy's shoulder, the Togorian attempted to ease the tension. "Besides, this is our last raid before we return to Togoria for the mating period. And then next month we will be celebrating your birthing day. You know Jorri has been planning the party for months now?"  
  
Running a hand through the sweeping strands, he gave a wan smile and said, "I know. I miss her too."  
  
"Come, cub. Our prey should be arriving any moment." Giving a quick slap to the boy's back, Tuuvu began to leave.  
  
Grinning widely the youth turned after him, "When are you going to stop calling me cub? I'll be 18 next month and for humans I'll be considered an adult." The duo walked out of the observation lounge to get to one of the boarding portals.  
  
"But you will always be a cub to me." Tuuvu wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulders. "I will try to do better, cu. Obi. I promise." A paw came up to ruffle the boy's hair.  
  
"Do or do not, there is no try." Laughed Obi-Wan, but it was short lived as the quote brought back too many painful memories. Suddenly, the feeling worsened. He didn't know what caused him to dredge up those lessons. Having not thought of them for years, Obi-Wan pushed back down the hatred that threatened to overtake him. It would do him no good to enter a conflict while distracted by old demons. Refocusing his energy, he prepared himself for battle.  
  
*****  
  
The time had come, he knew, as he felt the ship being barraged by cannon fire. The smaller occupants of the room watched him expectantly. Offering a gentle smile, he manipulated the Force to keep them calm. Turning his attentions to the coming task, he strode up to his life long friend. He waited a moment while she gave her Padawan the last of her instructions. When the honey-toned woman came up to stare at him, he spoke. "I'm going to the bridge to assess the ship's integrity and our status. If you can, hold them off for as long as possible. But don't take unnecessary risks. Remember the reports; they are here to steal not to murder or capture us."  
  
The Knight easily took control of the situation, after all that's what his purpose for being there was. Despite the fact that the field trip they were on was deemed harmless, they knew their course went right through the heart of the Pirate's territory. For this reason alone, he had been sent to protect the passengers.  
  
Tahl replied steadily, "Be careful, Qui-Gon." He nodded and promptly left.  
  
***  
  
As soon as he stepped onto the vessel, Obi-Wan felt a surge rush through him. In an instant he placed the feeling. His mind spat. Jedi. Now, I have a really bad feeling about this. I have to tell Tuuvu. The rest of his shipmates crept into the craft, pressing themselves against the wall. Obi-Wan could see his Captain and friend just a head of him. Quickly, he worked his way up next to the leader. "Tuuvu, this ship is full of Jedi. Let's just get out of here."  
  
"No way, human. We are not going to waste the effort. There must be something of value for us to take." Kuuur growled before Tuuvu could reply.  
  
"I tell you, they have nothing." Obi-Wan hissed back.  
  
Kuuur glared at the boy and then turned to the shipmate behind him, "We will round up the passengers." Then directing his attention back to Obi- Wan. "Make your self useful, and go get the captain so we can get in the treasury."  
  
"Kuuur, you are inviting trouble. They will not give up so easily. It's best if we just leave now." Pressing the point further, Obi-Wan tried his best to convince his companion of his folly. Instead, Kuuur growled and a group of the pirates moved out.  
  
As they reached the end of the hall, a lone figure stepped out. The honey- toned woman announced, "There's nothing here you want. You may as well leave." Obi-Wan felt the Force suggestion in her voice, but he knew it was futile.  
  
Over the years, he had helped his fellow pirates build up shields to block out such things. Only he knew how to override them, if need be. When the pirates kept moving in, he noticed the confusion pass behind her eyes before being replaced with determination. He could not resist smirking at the situation, after all, he was not sure the shields would hold. They had never been tested before, but hold they did and against a Master no less. Yup, I was completely unworthy of training. Bitterness arose, which he fought to suppress.  
  
A dark thought entered his mind, Maybe I can repay them the kindness that was once forced upon me. But he stopped it immediately, he wanted nothing more from them. They rejected him and he would rather just leave well enough alone. However that was not what would happen, as he noticed his shipmates continuing to advance. During his introspection the fight had begun and now the thieves headed into the ship automatically falling into their routine. Not wanting to leave his clan to face a Jedi alone, he followed behind. Tuuvu and a number of others headed for the bridge to collect the captain.  
  
They drove the Jedi back with the constant blaster fire, moving her further down the hall. Using his Force abilities, Obi-Wan aimed his blaster carefully. He determined that if he could wound her, they might be able to pull this off without a hitch. He studied her movements to find the best time to shoot.  
  
The Knight felt the warning in the Force but could not concentrate enough to pinpoint where the bolt was coming from. She saw it too late, as it grazed her arm. Momentarily distracted by the pain, she was overtaken quickly by the pirates. Binding her wrists they guided her along the halls in search of other passengers. Empty rooms were all they found, which confused the invaders further.  
  
Obi-Wan walked behind the Jedi, keeping his bangs loosely hung in front of his eyes. When Tuuvu asked why he had not tied them back as usual, he only offered one word as explanation, /precaution/. At the time he wasn't fully sure why he had done it either, just that he felt the need to obscure his face as much as possible. When he learned that Jedi were on board, he understood, knowing that is was possible he might actually know one of them. As such, he tried to maintain a low profile, hanging back only supporting his companions when it was necessary.  
  
As Tahl was brought through the passenger section, she watched their progress intently. She could feel the human boy behind her, studying her with the same intensity. Tahl also noticed how the other pirates reacted to the solo human among them. As they approached rooms or intersections, they would pause and glance back at the youth for clearance, like he knew what was in the halls and rooms before going in. Intrigued, Tahl stretched out her senses to scan the young man only to find her subtle tendrils thrown back at her. The strange youth came up behind her and jabbed her with the end of his blaster nozzle. She could feel the anger roll off him as he spoke, "I would not do that again, if I were you."  
  
As they entered the next corridor, a Togorian was about to access the room she had left from. Quickly she asked, "Please, let me go in first. I will tell them to follow as long as you promise not to hurt them." She had turned just after beginning her request to the strange young man behind her. The Togorian and the Jedi waited for his answer.  
  
After a long moment, the boy said, "It's alright Mrrogh, let her in." Then turning hidden eyes toward the Knight, he added, "I promise they will not be harmed, just don't do anything you would regret." She nodded her acceptance and stepped up to the door. The large tan and white Togorian, Mrrogh, accessed the entry and the door slid open. They were met by a young Calamarian Jedi Padawan with her lightsaber ignited.  
  
But at the sight of her Master she quickly shut the blade off and went to the Knight. "Master, you've been injured." The girl more concerned about her Master to notice all the beings that surrounded them, including the human, which Obi-Wan was grateful for. His heart pounded in his chest and Obi-Wan involuntarily stepped back at the sight of his old friend.  
  
"It's alright, Bant," said the Knight. As the group entered the room, they gathered the small initiates Bant had been protecting.  
  
He was deathly afraid of facing any Jedi he knew, but encountering one of his closest friends almost made him flee. Leaning against the bulkhead, his mind raced for options. When he sensed more Jedi in a room just ahead, he quickly rushed in to collect the others. Hoping that he could escape the notice of the kindest being he knew.  
  
Obi-Wan was beginning to think he had stepped into a horrible nightmare, but he couldn't force himself to wake. So he forged ahead, hoping it would end soon. As soon as he entered, he was met by another Jedi Master. The mocha skinned Councilwoman stood protectively in front of about 10 little Initiates. "We have nothing for you. They are just children." Adi Gallia said. They were the perfect little Jedi, their faces composed despite the danger that danced around them. At one point in time, he was just like them, giving his fears up to the Force, allowing him to remain stoic in the face of death. Hopeful, that one day he would become a Jedi Knight, helping all those in need. But not now, not when they had thrown him away. Self-hatred and contempt coursed through him, no longer able to stomach the site, Obi-Wan turned his only desire to leave, when he was stopped.  
  
Another Togorian named Miird entered saying, "Gather them with the others, and take them to the Common room." More pirates poured in to surround the group.  
  
Turning halfway, he glanced at the Councilor, "We will not harm them, if you come peacefully." Easing her stance Adi accepted his proposal. She motioned for the children to follow before heading out herself. Just before she left, Obi-Wan noticed her gaze swiftly shoot over toward a side door. Once the rest of the group had gone, Obi-Wan stared at the entry for a few minutes. Slowly he made his way over and gently knocked on the metal doorway. "You may as well come out. We have already captured your friends."  
  
After a few more moments, the door opened to reveal another Jedi Padawan. Her blond hair rested on her shoulders and cold fire blazed in her crystal eyes. Obi-Wan held his blaster aloft to re-enforce the idea of who was in charge. Leading the girl out, they entered an empty hall. Glancing around, Obi-Wan motioned for her to take the lead. They walked for a moment in silence before the girl spoke, "I will not let you harm them. I will fight you if I have to."  
  
Shaking his head, his memory did not fail him. "Obstinate as usual, Siri. But if I had intended to harm anyone, don't you think I would have already?" Siri stopped at his words and she turned to face her capture.  
  
Her gaze tightened as she scrutinized the figure before her. Confused by the use of her name, she tried to place this stranger. Silken ginger hair brushed lightly at the youth's shoulders as they hung loosely about the smooth features of the boy's face. Sea change eyes stared back at her, revealing the flux of emotions that raged beneath the calm surface. He wore a long black trench coat over fitted black pants. His shirt a soft mint green that only accented the sparkling colour of his eyes. But no matter how long she stared she could not place the face. Finally, she concluded, "You will not succeed, whoever you are."  
  
Obi-Wan was relieved she didn't remember him. They had only sparred a couple of times before he was sent to Bandomeer, but that was five years ago. Only five years? It seems so much longer. Disgusted again by what his life had become, he ignored the Padawan and tried to walk past her. Hoping that she would follow obediently, but was blocked by her instantly. Obi-Wan was about to argue with her when he saw movement just beyond them down the hall. He could see one of the crewmembers pointing a blaster towards them. He would have ignored that too, by dodging the bolts, but he also caught sight of Mrrogh creeping up behind. He knew that the Togorian had probably backtracked to find the lost party member as soon as he noticed Obi-Wan was missing.  
  
He felt the warning just as the shot was fired. He shouted, "No!" Moving in response to the attack as everything slowed down. Mrrogh had jumped the crewman as the shot went off, knocking the man down and out. Siri turned to see the ray coming for them, but before she could act someone pushed her out of harm's way. Time resumed it's normal pace as the form of her adversary dropped to one knee.  
  
Siri watched as the Togorian rushed to help his wounded friend. Pulling the boy up, she heard him grunt from the handling, "I'm alright, Mrrogh. I'm alright." Steadying himself against the furry being, Obi-Wan pulled away from Mrrogh's hold. Carefully, he reached a hand down to hold his wounded side, wincing he said, "Take her back to the others. I'll be right behind you."  
  
Grabbing the confused girl's arm, Mrrogh pushed her ahead. As they passed the unconscious crewman, the Togorian bent down to pick the man up. They walked on ahead, as Obi-Wan slowly followed. Pausing occasionally to look down at his wound, Obi-Wan knew he needed help, but he would have to wait until he got back to his own ship. At last he reached his destination, and as he entered he drank in the situation.  
  
Obi-Wan swept the room, observing the numerous Jedi initiates, the two Jedi women, the two Jedi Padawans and a male Jedi knelt before the initiates, calming them. The man's back was to Obi-Wan and he could not identify the remaining Jedi. Also amongst the group were some of the crew and the Captain. His gaze lastly fell upon those of his clan and found Tuuvu and Kuuur arguing. Staggering slightly, he made his way over to them.  
  
"There was not much in the treasury for us to take," snarled Kuuur.  
  
Obi-Wan restated through clenched teeth, "I told you that. They're Jedi, they are nothing of value, to us." He turned his head to stare back at the Jedi and found someone he had never expected to see again standing in their midst. His eyes widened in immediate recognition. A searing pain shot through his heart that dulled the burn in his side. A growl forced him to return to the discussion.  
  
"There must be something else." Kuuur just could not accept the meager bounty they had collected.  
  
"There is nothing else. Give it up." Obi-Wan roared through the growing pain. His ribs were on fire and he could feel his hand being warmed by his blood. Before Kuuur could protest further, the ship lurched from a loud explosion.  
  
Once everyone recovered from the sudden jolt, Tuuvu activated his comms immediately, "Grruun, What happened?"  
  
"Captain, the starboard engine has just exploded. Most of our sensors have been damaged by the blast." There was a pause for a moment before Grruun continued, "As best as we can tell, the ship is dying, we have to disengage now!"  
  
"We're on our way," Tuuvu confirmed then turned back to his compatriots, "This has cost us enough already. Grab what you can, we're leaving." Finally they all agreed and moved out to disembark.  
  
Staggering for a moment, Obi-Wan stole one more glance at the waiting Jedi, before following his comrades. They were almost at the portal when a secondary blast shook the ship. The violent jolt knocked Obi-Wan into one of the bulkheads igniting further agony in his already aching ribs. Stumbling to the ground, he noticed Tuuvu pause to look back. Obi-Wan waved his friends on, "Get out of here!"  
  
But Tuuvu hesitated. They had been friends ever since the day Obi-Wan was brought on board. At the time, he was their prisoner, while Captain Drrov was in charge. But Tuuvu had always liked the little human boy. A few months later, the Captain had died during a botched attempt of piracy, giving Tuuvu command. He had released the boy immediately, but found out that Obi-Wan had no where else to go. So taking it upon himself, he cared for the child, who's soul was in much worse condition than his body. Over the years, he had almost become a surrogate son to him and his mate, Jorri. No, he determined, I will not abandon him. He was about to lunge toward the boy when the tall Jedi entered the corridor.  
  
Another explosion rocked the vessel, the Jedi Knight crept steadily closer to Obi-Wan, who tried vainly to rid himself of the rage and pain he felt in his desperation. His wound hindered him from the strength he needed to get him away and back to his home. Home? It wasn't really my home. I never had one. Caught in his self-pity, Obi-Wan lost precious seconds. There would be no escape for him, he knew that now, but that did not mean his allies had to be condemned to his fate. He peered into the pleading eyes of his protector and shouted, "Go, please. I don't want you hurt for me. I will come back to you. I promise."  
  
Determination lived in Tuuvu's bright green eyes as he set himself to retrieve his son. Suddenly, Kuuur was in front of him. Another shudder informed them that the ship would not last much longer. Over their comms, Tuuvu and Kuuur heard the urgent voice of Grruun, "We have to break off now! Or else we're gone too!"  
  
Tuuvu remained for a moment longer glancing back down the hall to his cub. Desperation and confliction battled in Tuuvu. When he heard Obi-Wan's strained cry, "Kuuur, Go!" The sable Togorian understood what was being asked of him and he instantly grabbed Tuuvu and pushed the captain back to the boarding tunnel.  
  
Realizing what must be done Tuuvu called, "I will be waiting, cub," The paternal being never took his eyes off of Obi-Wan as the door shut cutting the ships off from each other. As soon as the door closed Obi-Wan curled up unto himself, absorbed in his abject misery, he waited for death.  
  
The Jedi knelt down beside the boy, he had watched the exchange between the youth and his fellow pirates. Qui-Gon was marginally amazed at the feelings of remorse at leaving the youth behind. He turned when he felt Adi and Siri arrive. Another explosion could be heard and he ordered, "Take care of him. We have to land this ship before we break apart." Qui- Gon then stood and ran down the hall. Adi and Siri gathered up the depressed youth and helped him back to their rooms. Once they laid him down, Obi-Wan gracefully accepted Darkness' invitation and drifted in to her night.  
  
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Alright folks, time for my standard begging ritual. PLEASE, Please, please REVIEW!!! I really, really, really want your feedback! I'm a glutton for feedback!! Don't let me starve. Review now!! Thank you!  
  
obaona - But, but, I like begging. ; ) Thank Miss Shanobi. She thought this lovely up. I just breathed the life into it.  
  
Cascadia - *blush* Aww, thanks for the vote of confidence. I will do my best.  
  
Lunelle - I will write as quickly as I am able. I hope it keeps your attention as best as possible.  
  
Haha - Thank you! I love it too. ; )  
  
Heidi M - We can't have our tragic hero die so quickly. We only just started.  
  
Ciria - But begging is so much fun. : ) Well, I hope you like where this all goes.  
  
Shan - Thanks goes out especially to you, brilliant mind! But your little PB called to me and it was just so cute and fluffy, that I couldn't leave him. I just had to make sure he was nourished and loved so, and he spoke to me so sweetly. Ah, love the PB, and am really happy you are too. : D  
  
Megan - You're lucky I'm still trying to perfect the art of the cliffie. ] : )  
  
Havoc - Hook, line and sinker, huh? Well, I hope I keep you that way. It's hard to keep it up, but I will do my best to do so.  
  
Padawan Kitara - That's ok. I've been enjoying lurking much more recently. But I also have become a feedback junkie. Gosh I hate being on both ends of the spectrum. *sigh* Thanks though.  
  
Rieyeuxs - Thank you. Um, I hope this post wasn't too heart wrenching for you.  
  
Ewok Kid - Yes, our Obi has been put through everything and then some. But I wouldn't be a Charter member of Obi-Torture Anonymous if I didn't join in the fun. ; )  
  
Jedi-Suzuran - Yep. Glad you're enjoying it. : )  
  
Sheila - I hope you like where I'm taking this PB. : ) I know I am. 


	3. Chapter 2: Only Pain Remains Standing

Chapter 2 - Only Pain Remains Standing  
  
"Wish that I could cry  
  
Fall upon my knees  
  
Find a way to lie  
  
About a home I'll never see  
  
It may sound absurd: but don't be naive  
  
Even Heroes have the right to bleed  
  
I may be disturbed: but won't you concede  
  
Even Heroes have the right to dream  
  
It's not easy to be me" - Superman (Five for Fighting)  
  
  
  
Darkness could not retain her hold on her prize as Obi-Wan slowly regained consciousness. He was lying on something soft and comforting. Gradually, he became aware that the claxons surrounding him were not just in his head but the dying ship's imminent death calls. Another jerk reminded him where he was and he quickly sat up, wincing at the agony in his side. He had also recalled what he had said to his captain, friend and guardian. And if he were to keep that promise he needed to survive the death throws of this ravaged vessel. Someone came up beside him, but he tried to ignore her as he gathered his strength to leave. "Who are you? And how did you know my name?"  
  
Shooting a glance toward Siri, he stated, "I have to get to the bridge." Forcing his protesting body to rise he headed out the door.  
  
Behind him he heard the Jedi Councilor instruct, "Stay here and take care of the initiates, I'll be back." Adi swiftly followed the receding form, and came up beside him. Periodically his step would falter under the objection of his wound but he refused to allow weakness to claim him again. They made their way through the bucking ship, holding on to walls intermittently when the ship shook violently. The corridors were ominously empty which made their walk that much more oppressive and condemning. Despite her usual denouement, Adi could no longer stand the silence between them, "We found your training saber. Where did you get it?" When she received no answer, she asked bluntly, "Who are you?"  
  
Hesitating for a moment, Obi-Wan glanced at her through his bangs, "No one." Relief washed through him as they reached the forward cabin. When they entered, they quickly swept the scene. The captain was struggling with the controls as the Jedi Master was attending to the co-pilot, who was lying on the floor. As soon as they entered Qui-Gon turned to greet them, a thread of shock wove through his features at the unwelcome visitor, but he dealt with it immediately.  
  
Walking past the kneeling Master, Obi-Wan headed for the vacant chair and surveyed the mess of controls in front of him. Automatically, he asked, "Is there a habitable planet close enough for us to land?"  
  
"I'm heading for one now, but I'm not sure the ship will make it. Systems are failing all over and we're down to the aft engines." Called the frantic Captain.  
  
Assessing the alerts, Obi-Wan quickly ran through his options. Expertly adjusting the instrumentation he said, "Give me the controls. I'll get us down." The captain looked at him incredulously, but noticed the set fortitude in the youthful features. Suddenly, the bulk of the ship responded to Obi-Wan's directions. Transferring power from non-essential functions, Obi-Wan managed to salvage enough energy to boost power to the remaining engines and forward shields.  
  
Agony threatened to steal his consciousness, which he fought desperately to hold at bay. The black spots playing at the edge of his vision teased his weary mind, when he felt a surge in the Force behind him. At first he was unsure as to it's purpose, but was surprised to find it fill him lovingly, pushing away the aches and darkness. With renewed intensity, he headed for the habitable planet the Captain had indicated as their destination. For a moment he paused in his action as he recognized the small moon orbiting the world they limped toward and in that moment he smiled before banishing the emotion.  
  
Qui-Gon had watched as the rogue entered into the forward cabin with his fellow Jedi. He had already sensed the Councilwoman's approach but it bothered him deeply that he had not sensed the youth. Dismayed by this revelation, he could not hide the confusion from his features at the boy's entrance. Admonishing himself for such failings, Qui-Gon directed all of his attention toward the strange human. His curiosity regarding the bewildering pirate was only matched by his desire to get everyone to safety on this perilous journey. He knew he was not capable of flying the ship himself, but he also knew they needed help in order to land in one piece. A sensation through the Force told him their best option was the aforementioned thief who struggled with the controls and his afflictions.  
  
The ginger haired corsair danced his hands across the switches and dials, some of his fingers painted them red, making adjustments. The confidence in the young voice persuaded the Captain to relinquish the controls to this ruffian who had so recently threatened them. Now the boy was striving to save the moribund vessel despite his own ebbing strength. Qui-Gon could sense the pain emanating from the youth as well as the determination, but an injured body can only last so long no matter how obstinate. The Jedi Knight turned to his associate, who had been just as enthralled and captivated by this newcomer as he was, and glanced at her inquisitively. She noticed his glare and they communicated non-verbally.  
  
Agreeing almost immediately, the two Jedi called upon the Force to re- direct it into the privateer. In response to their efforts, they could feel the youth drinking up the power hungrily. Continuing to channel, the Jedi watched the boy navigate through the expanse toward their oasis. As they passed a small moon, Qui-Gon noticed a saddened grin cross the young man's face before it was quickly withdrawn.  
  
With precision brought on by extreme concentration, Obi-Wan flew efficiently through space. "You better have your Padawans take care of those initiates, this is going to be a bumpy ride," he had strained to give them some warning before entering the atmosphere.  
  
"Tahl and the others are prepared," Qui-Gon and Adi affirmed simultaneously. Risking a glance, Obi-Wan gazed over his shoulder at the waiting Jedi. Deciding now was not the time to ponder their position he returned his focus to the monumental task set before him.  
  
A jarring shudder almost knocked the Jedi from their feet, as the ship entered the outer ionosphere. Alerts and claxons sounded all around the group as Obi-Wan grappled with the controls. The others could only watch and pray as the boy guided the craft through the different layers of air. Soon they soared above an abundant forest, as the Jedi and the Captain began searching for a clearing to land in.  
  
"Can't keep it up. Have to land now," the boy announced through gritted teeth. He could already feel the trees scraping at the bottom hull of the ship. Fearing that the craft might be torn apart if they landed now, Obi- Wan prayed that a clearing could be found quickly.  
  
Suddenly, from behind him, he heard the tall Jedi shout, "There." Glancing over his shoulder he followed the length of the Knight's outstretched arm to see a meadow toward his right.  
  
Hastily, he bade the ship to heed his commands to land in the field just large enough to cradle them. Fighting desperately with the craft, he could barely retain the altitude they needed. Silently, he pleaded with the Force to allow them to land safely. The trees loomed ever closer as they tore at the underbelly of the ship. Catching and hitching on the fingers of the planet the craft descended. As the helping hands of the forest gave way to the meadow, the cruiser plummeted.  
  
Colliding into the earth, the occupants tossed inside their confines. A violent lurch thrust Obi-Wan into the arm rest eliciting a cry from the youth. Ignoring the agony in his body, he held on tightly to the helm hoping to control their wayward landing. Skidding across the green field, they finally halted at the other end of the clearing. For a few moments no one moved as they waited to make sure their journey was over.  
  
The Jedi had braced themselves against the walls and were the first to recover in the bridge. Qui-Gon stepped closer to the viewportal to scan their surroundings. Beside him, he could feel the dazed youth collecting his wits. He watched as the boy surveyed the grounds and then rose slowly. A shaky hand came up to wipe away the sweat on his brow. The urge to help the young man filled his being yet Qui-Gon could not fathom the need he felt to do so.  
  
"We should go and assess the damage," Obi-Wan spoke slowly and deliberately in order to hide the pain and weariness that crept through him. The Force slowly drained from him and his adrenaline was completely spent. The corsair wavered as he turned to leave the bridge, the hand that swept his brow clung to the back of the chair to steady himself. The solid frame of Qui-Gon blocked his path and his gaze drifted up to meet cerulean eyes.  
  
Qui-Gon almost took a step back when the turbulent oceans stared up at him. The rolling seas spoke volumes, inviting one to share the emotions swirling within. He remembered those eyes. They had watched him, haunted him, in his dreams, nightmares and meditations. In the same instant he had loved and hated those eyes. Not so long ago he had seen them, before he thought them lost to him forever. Now Qui-Gon could see his damnation and redemption floating on the blue-green waves. His own raging sentiments coursed through him. And the soft green-blue windows to the soul were confused for a moment before they became unfocused. Tired eyes began to close as the Master stepped forward to catch the youth. Daring to believe what he wished were true with all his heart, Qui-Gon whispered but one word. "Obi-Wan."  
  
Obi-Wan knew the moment their eyes locked that this was the purpose for letting his ginger strands flow freely. Yet he had not realize that his earlier actions had brushed aside the silken bangs shielding his eyes. Now as they were drawn into each other's gazes, Obi-Wan could see the confusion intensify in the Jedi Master and then completely vanish. Suddenly, he knew that recognition of who he was caused the immediate clarity. And as the demon spots of night danced across his vision he tried vainly to read the emotions in the man who had rejected him so long ago. Amazed at what he saw, he could scarcely believe it. Instead of anger or further betrayal, he found joy and hope. Baffled by the display, Obi-Wan could not keep up with his battle to remain conscious. Quietly, he felt Darkness' call, and as he finally accepted it he heard what he feared the most, his own name. The Jedi Knight, Qui-Gon Jinn, had indeed recognized him. Unable to protest, unconsciousness claimed him.  
  
The strong arms of Qui-Gon caught the youth gently. His confused elation left him holding the boy in a strange hug, before he tenderly gathered Obi- Wan up in his arms. Leaning on the Knight's chest Obi-Wan looked so young and innocent in his eyes. He turned to the commander, who was now checking on his co-pilot, "Take care of your crew, Captain. We will care for our own." He motioned to Adi and they exited the bridge.  
  
As soon as they were alone, Adi voiced her concern, "You know who he is? Can you be so sure?"  
  
For a moment they walked in silence as the Knight composed his answer, "Yes. I thought I had lost him all those years ago. Now, now, by the Force's will I have him back, Adi."  
  
"You believe the Force has brought you together?" She raised an eyebrow in questioning.  
  
At that Qui-Gon paused his trek to look at her. "When Yoda first came to me I was still not over Xanatos. And in some ways, I don't know if I will ever be. Yoda kept prompting me to take him, but I ignored both him and the Force. I have been haunted by that decision ever since." Unconsciously, he pulled Obi-Wan in closer to him. "Adi, the Force has given me a second chance to redeem myself. I will not ignore its will a second time."  
  
"If it is the Force's will, you must be patient. It might not be for what you think it is." The Councilor was playing her role. She had to consider all options and see things from an outside perspective, regardless of what she felt.  
  
Qui-Gon wanted to continue the debate, and would have if they had not reached their quarters. Instead, he directed his concentration on helping his lost charge. As they entered the cabin, he saw Bant tending to the wound on Tahl's arm. She glanced up at him perplexed by his burden. The look in his eyes told her that they would need to talk extensively about what had transpired.  
  
Swiftly, he moved past them and laid the injured pirate on the bed. He brushed the hair from the boy's face and began to pull back his coat. Dark crimson overpowered the soft mint tunic. Stretching out with his senses he noted the blaster wound that scorched the boy's ribs. It was not life threatening in itself, but left unattended could escalate the problem. It was obvious Obi-Wan had lost a good amount of blood, although, Qui-Gon could sense the Force already at work on the wound. Tahl had come to stand behind her friend, "I'll get you some water to cleanse the wound."  
  
Finished attending to her Master, Bant stood on the other side of the bed. Vexed by the object of Qui-Gon's attention, the Padawan moved closer to the prone figure. Her gentle gaze fell upon the still features of his face and in an instant the world stopped. She could not draw air into her lungs, her heart fluttered, and her mind buzzed with the possibilities. The voice that escaped her was no louder than that of a hushed whisper, "Obi-Wan."  
  
Qui-Gon glanced up at the young Calamarian when he heard her speak. Tears formed at the rims of her silver eyes and a hand came to hover at the edge of her lips. Slowly, she fell to her knees but could not tear her gaze from her lost friend. When Tahl re-entered she felt the distress of her apprentice and knelt down next to her. She handed the bowl and cloth to dress the wound to Qui-Gon, but found the young girl taking them from her. Pushing back the shock, Bant set herself to the task of taking care of his injury, as she had so many times before.  
  
With utmost care the trio diligently removed his shirt and wrapped his wound, washing away the blood and sweat. Just as they were finishing their work, a soft moan escaped their patient. A hand reached up to rub his forehead and his eyes fluttered open. Qui-Gon quickly assured, "You are safe. We have tended to your injury, but you should take it easy."  
  
Obi-Wan stared up at the blank ceiling. He did not know what to think let alone say. So he said nothing, but listened to his surroundings. He craved for the ability to drift back into the sweet abyss of nothingness, only now it was no longer an option for him. He was alert and would have to face the demons of his past head on. The reticence in the room clung to everything as they sat waiting for someone or thing to tear through it. Bearing the burden of such a weight, Qui-Gon spoke, "There is something I must ask you," breathing deeply he continued, "Are you Obi-Wan Kenobi?" In all truth he knew the answer, it was more for Adi's benefit he asked the question. Still he found himself holding his breath in wait.  
  
Fighting against the pain that clutched his heart, the boy closed his eyes. Such a simple question should not bear all the emotions that would occur in response to the inquiry. Yet despite what might happen, the youth could no more deny whom he was than stop breathing the air. So accepting a lungfull in he sighed before responding, "Yes."  
  
A hitched cry could be heard from the Mon Calamarian at his confession. The girl lunged forward to fall across the chest of the boy, crying with both tears of joy and of pain. At her outburst Obi-Wan lost his battle to remain stoic and tears filled his eyes. His arm moved down to rap around his friend as she wept. No one spoke for some time, allowing the rolling emotions to take their course.  
  
Finally, Obi-Wan patted the girl, telling her he wanted to sit up. She removed herself and knelt next to the bed. Qui-Gon was trying to find his own peace of mind as the possibilities of their reunion ran through his head. Tahl had moved to place a comforting hand on her life-long friend's shoulder. Adi watched from a distance concerned about what was going to happen next but delighted that they had found one of their lost children.  
  
Gingerly, the boy sat up, wincing at his protesting side. Suddenly, his face changed from the melancholy visage to one that spoke of solid tenacity. Not wanting to deal with them any longer than he had to, Obi-Wan drove straight to the problem, "Have you checked out the damage?"  
  
Taken aback by the abrupt change, Qui-Gon shook his head. "We wanted to attend to you first."  
  
"It doesn't take 3 Jedi Masters and a Padawan to fix a blaster wound. You should have gone to assess our situation. We do not know the potential dangers of this planet, and we should not dilly-dally until we know the threats." The youth reprimanded their behaviour. Reaching for his shirt that hung on a nearby chair, he looked at it disgustedly. Despite its appearance, he refused to ask anything from the Jedi. Slowly he pulled the caked cloth over his form, and then sought out his jacket. Rising from the bed, he wavered a moment.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" Qui-Gon demanded of the boy.  
  
"What do you think I'm doing? I'm going to do you're job." He found his trench draped over a different chair and went to retrieve it. "I don't know about you, but I want off this rock." Managing to get back into his tight coat, Obi-Wan headed for the door, only to be stopped by the composed Councilor.  
  
"I think you should remain here," Adi stated. "You are correct, it is our duty to make sure there is no further danger to us before attempting repairs. However, since it was your group that forced us down here, I believe we need to determine if you are also a potential threat."  
  
Looking at her in total denial, he argued, "If it weren't for me, we wouldn't be having this discussion. Now get out of my way."  
  
Adi held her ground, "For that we thank you. But if you are Obi-Wan Kenobi, I would have expected better behaviour from a Jedi Student."  
  
Rage bubbled over inside Obi-Wan at the remark. Approaching the woman he stood eye to eye, not even attempting to conceal his fury. "Listen, Master Jedi, the day I was sent off to Bandomeer was the last day that Initiate Obi-Wan Kenobi lived. I may still bear the name, but I am no longer that person."  
  
Coolly, she said, "Obviously."  
  
"What would you have expected from one that was tossed out? Thrown to the melias? Did you really think that I would grovel back to you? What for? Tell me, what for? I had already dealt with one rejection. I didn't need to go through it again." Honestly, Obi-Wan hated his own reactions, but his mind and body were on a strange sort of autopilot, as if someone else was directing his responses. Adi remained motionless, watching his internal battle.  
  
It was then that a small voice rose up behind him, "How could you forget *us*? We were your friends, despite what might have become of your life we cared about *you*. Not whether or not you were a Jedi. All we would have wanted to know was that you were alive and safe." Her voice hiccuped from the grief she felt. "We thought you were dead."  
  
Obi-Wan did not want to face the pain in his friend that her words reflected. Instead he kept his back to her but allowed his gaze to drift from the Councilwoman. Quietly, he said, "I was." The silken ginger strands fell down around his face, covering up the troubled oceans. Even softer than before, he added, "I still am."  
  
Bant could not stand the thought of what her friend had become anymore so she hurried from the room. For a moment Obi-Wan wanted to chase her, to comfort the one who had often done so for him. When they were initiates, he would find her waiting for him after a match with Bruck or another of his rivals. The kind hearted being that came to his room that last night with tear-filled eyes. The one being who seemed to give a damn about his fate when the Council decided to send him off to the Agricorps. And he treated her callously.  
  
Biting back the bile, Obi-Wan wished he could take it all back. To tell her he had wanted to contact them at first, but when he knew it would make no difference he accepted what his life had become. Bant's Master followed her out, most likely to comfort her. Adi glanced back at Qui-Gon and then turned and left herself. Obi-Wan stood absolutely still even though he knew that it would not free him from facing the Knight. From behind he heard the quiet approach of the Jedi. "I think we should to talk."  
  
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Well, I hope you all enjoyed that. It was a difficult chapter to write. Anyway, as per tradition, I am going down to my knees and clasping my hands in front of me, "Please, please, Review!! I beg of you. I want your feedback!! Please. Thank you."  
  
Meggie - Thank you, I really appreciate it. And hopefully this is soon enough to keep those doggies leashed. And as forewarning, I was planning to update this once a week, so please be patient with me.  
  
Cascadia - YEAH you updated!! But I'm still waiting to find out more. Please more soon. And thank you for the nice comments. I'm really glad you were able to feel for the Togorians, I wanted to convey that Obi is loved where he is and the choices he might be forced to make will be difficult.  
  
Ewok Kid - Thank you!! I only begin the conflict here, the next post might be a bit more emotionally charged. Keep an eye out for it. : )  
  
Heidi M - Yeah, I'm glad you like the Togorians. Someone had to take in Obi and I'm glad there was someone kind enough to nurture him. And Thank you.  
  
Ciria - Bingo, you hit it. And thank you so much. : ) I really wanted to show that there was someone who cared for our Obi. He has so much trouble dealing with his on sense of unworthiness that I wanted there to be people that valued him.  
  
Shan - Oh, you are still the best my dear. I'm just a hopeful. ; ) Hopefully, I'll be able to get you that reunion soon. It's been fun trying to write the conflict. : D And yeah, Disney was great. We were Jedi for halloween. And that was awesome! : D : D  
  
Becky - ditto. I hope it keeps you on your toes. Thanks.  
  
Liyanette - Thanks. I will do my best to update at least once a week. : )  
  
Jedi_nayru - Thank You! Hope you continue to like it.  
  
Padawan Kitara - Thanks for feeding my addiction. I can't seem to get enough of feedback. And like I've said, hopefully at least once a week. ; ) 


	4. Chapter 3: Old Wounds, Same Mistakes

Chapter 3 - Old Wounds, Same Mistakes  
  
"Nothing that you say will release you. Nothing that you pray would forgive you. Nothing's what your words mean to me.  
  
Something that you did will destroy me. Something that you said will stay with me, Long after you're dead and gone." - As Heaven is Wide (Garbage)  
  
Running through the vacant corridors, Bant charged into Adi's and Siri's room and headed straight for the 'fresher. A startled Siri, watched her flight and instantly became curious. She was about to follow the fellow Padawan when Master Tahl came in.  
  
Glancing at the concerned Master, she could see the compassion in the cat like eyes. This puzzled her further, as she could not understand what could have upset them both so. Breezing by, the Master pursued her apprentice. Siri stood still for a moment determining what she should do, when her Master finally entered. She stared up at the stern woman expectantly.  
  
Adi easily read the bewilderment in the perceptive gaze of her Padawan and knew she would have to answer a multitude of questions. And most of them she feared there would be no answer she could offer at this time. Already expecting the question, she heard, "Master? What's happened?"  
  
Sighing, the Councilwoman made her way over to stand in front of the girl. She figured it would be best to start with the facts. "We've landed on a planet. We are still unsure as to the extent of the damage." She paused to observe the younger woman as Siri battled to hold back her anxiousness at learning the real reason for the distress that surrounded them. "And we have learned something extraordinary about our Pirate captive. It appears, he was once a Jedi student."  
  
Siri wanted to blurt out that that was obvious, since he had known her name. But she bit her tongue to stop such an impertinent comment. Instead, she managed a calm, "Who is he?"  
  
"His name is Obi-Wan Kenobi." Watching the girl intently, Adi gauged the girl's reaction. After witnessing Bant's response to the news, she didn't know how her Padawan would accept this revelation.  
  
Siri withdrew into her memories. She knew the name and searched for the few instances they had interacted as initiates. After a moment she found a sparring match, in which he won, that sifted forward. And also a memory of Bruck and Obi-Wan standing facing each other as some heated words were exchanged. At the time she thought she was above such petty behaviour, but found she was wrong during a mission to Kegan.  
  
There she learned she was just as competitive as the two boys and desire to prove herself better. But the patience and experience of the other Padawan with her only proved she had much to learn. That was over three years ago and she thought she had progressed since then. Now her thoughts drifted back to the present and she began to realize the precarious position they were in. Thousands of questions ran through her mind and she sat on the edge of the bed as she sorted through them.  
  
Regarding her Padawan, Adi watched as Siri sank to the bed. "Siri?"  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Sniffling a bit, Bant glanced up at her Master's question. "I don't know," she confessed. "My world has just been up-turned, and I don't know what to do about it." The Calamarian returned her gaze back down to examine her hands. She had sat down on the waste disposal seat since it was really the only place to sit. Tahl after a moment decided to sit across from her on the edge of the bathing tub.  
  
"Would you like to talk about it?" She offered calmly. Tahl hated seeing her gentle Padawan under such turmoil. "It might help." Opening the door, she would have to wait for her apprentice to accept the invitation to come in. The caring Knight waited for some time before she was rewarded.  
  
"It's just that he was dead. It was so hard to accept so long ago and now, now I find out that was all a lie." The apprentice paused again trying to collect her thoughts. "It's just such a shock, you know?" The large silver eyes glanced up at the Knight. "And there are just so many questions that I want to ask but don't know where to begin. I think I want to know one thing most."  
  
"Why? Why didn't he tell us he was alive?"  
  
"I don't know. Only he can answer that." Adi could not answer Siri's question.  
  
"What does this all mean?" The younger woman asked.  
  
Adi turned away for a moment, she had expected this but the knowledge of it prepared her little for it. "There is no answer I can give you. We need to probe this situation further and let the Force guide us." The Councilwoman turned back to her charge and came up beside her to place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Confusion still reigned in her azure gaze as Siri looked at her Master.  
  
"What will happen now?"  
  
"I don't know the answer to that. I don't think any of us do." Tahl consoled. "And I think it is a question that will be weighing on all of us, especially Obi-Wan, until we can find an answer." Placing a hand on her apprentice's knee, Tahl hoped that Bant would be able to come to terms with this change.  
  
At the kindly gesture, tears welled again in the bulbous eyes. In a ragged whisper, she choked, "I missed him so much." Tahl dropped down to her knees in front of the girl and reached out to hug her. Bant fell into the embrace without hesitation and cried softly.  
  
**  
  
Still staring at the door, he could feel the tension travel up his back. It had remained one of his worst fears to meet up with the Jedi again and coming across one of his old friends terrified him further. But over the past five years of trying to live, trying to forget a life that no longer was his to attain, there had been nothing more frightening than facing Qui- Gon Jinn again. Of all the Jedi in the galaxy, why did it have to be him? His mind reeled at the irony of his situation.  
  
For a moment he felt lightheaded and his side began to ache, but he refused to let his infirmities show. He knew pride was not supposed to be a Jedi's motivation, but as he constantly reminded himself, he no longer was one. Tightening his jaw and fists he remained immobile, in the hopes that he did not have to confront the Jedi Master waiting behind him. Knowing how futile that hope was he finally stated, "We have nothing to discuss, Master Jinn."  
  
So, he remembers me. The Knight thought. And why not? It's been over 10 years since the fateful day that Xanatos betrayed you. Yet how often have you recalled the smell of burnt flesh? Felt the pain in your heart as he twisted it out and crushed it? You were his last chance back then. Why wouldn't Obi-Wan burn his memory with your rejection? How much it must have hurt. Qui-Gon concluded. He closed his eyes and dropped his head. Shaking it slowly, Qui-Gon wanted to ease that suffering now, even though he knew how little it would help.  
  
Sighing, he resolved, "I think we have more to talk about than you think." Lifting his head again, he stared at the young man's back. What he was about to say would be the most difficult announcement he would ever make. "First I think I should say, I am sorry."  
  
Obi-Wan could hear the remorse and pity in the soothing baritone but he did not want to listen. And before Qui-Gon could continue, Obi-Wan spun around, his eyes aflame with rage. "How dare you?" His voice shook with the unfettered fury the boiled within him. "How dare you even think I would accept your apology?"  
  
The venomous questions forced the Jedi to step back. Qui-Gon had not expected the verbal attack but recovered quickly, "I merely wanted.."  
  
"Wanted to apologize for ruining my life? For throwing me away like yesterday's waste? Do you have any idea what I have gone through?" With each accusation, Obi-Wan stepped closer to the troubled Jedi, ending with their noses almost touching. His emotions swirled within him, driving him to press the Knight.  
  
His pain came up to add to his tumult; pain from a rejection long past. "I asked myself every single day, why? Why wasn't I good enough? What was wrong with me that no one wanted to take me? What was it that disgusted people so that I was never chosen?" Turning from the Jedi, Obi-Wan walked away feeling like his heart was tearing apart. His side throbbed at his sharp movements so he paused a few steps away, trying to appease his injured body. Continuing, he said, "And every day there was no answer. My life has been in chaos since and now I have been torn away from those who do care about me just to stand here and listen to your apologies."  
  
The fury ebbed in the youth and Qui-Gon could not hide his sorrow at the torture Obi-Wan must have endured over these years. Wanting to say so much to soothe a wounded heart, Qui-Gon only managed, "I made a mistake."  
  
"A mistake, is that all I am to you?" Obi-Wan scoffed at the admission, looking over his shoulder at the man. He wanted so much to believe what the Jedi Master just said, but did not want to expose himself again to possible disappointment. His intense gaze burrowed into the taller man.  
  
Qui-Gon shook his head in denial. "No, ever since you were sent away, I have known I had made a mistake." Daring to take a step closer, he wanted to substantiate his words with physical movements. "I should have asked you to be my Padawan. But I was too blinded by the failure Xanatos was, I could not look past my own pain from betrayal. I could not look beyond my own shortcomings to see what an asset it would have been to have a Padawan at my side again." Another step, and he hoped he could show Obi-Wan how much this had effected him as well. "But not just any Padawan, I wanted you."  
  
Incredulous of this profound revelation, Obi-Wan felt weak in the knees. How could he just stand there and accept this mockery? He asked himself. How can you believe the man who turned you away? His mind fought against the possibility of the truth behind the Knight's confession. "And what good is that to me now?" The rogue asked. A sense of despondency intermingled with the unsheathed ire. "My life is ruined. That path had been closed to me, so what good is that mystical insight to me now that I can no longer walk that road?"  
  
Contemplating his answer for a moment, Qui-Gon concluded, "I believe the Force has a plan for us. Why else would it have brought us back together?"  
  
Obi-Wan laughed, but it was not a happy laugh but one of skepticism and damnation. "You think so? Maybe it has brought us together so you could kill me. After all, I am a Jedi student who is no longer part of the Order. Rather I'm a criminal, a liability, a loose end to be taken care of. Had that thought crossed your mind?"  
  
"I can not believe the Force would have brought us together for that purpose." A hint of annoyance crept into his voice. His mind weighed the possibility and he dove into the Force to see if it were possible. He was rewarded with a sense of purpose, but not of destruction. The real meaning eluded him but he at least knew that the boy's demise was not the source. "I feel there is something else to it."  
  
Obi-Wan had had enough. False hope was something he couldn't handle right now. "Feel what you want, it makes no difference to me," Obi-Wan chided as he made his way to leave but Qui-Gon grabbed his arm. Glaring back at the Knight, he demanded, "Let go of me."  
  
Qui-Gon's hold remained as he stated, "No, I'm not finished."  
  
"Like I care," Obi-Wan retaliated as he torn his arm from Qui-Gon's grasp. His side screamed at the torment the movement erupted. Wincing, he shot back, "I'm not one of your initiates that you can command."  
  
"No," confirmed the Knight, "but you are our prisoner." It was a feeble excuse but he could not let Obi-Wan go yet. He had so much more to say and his nerves were fraying at the constant conflict.  
  
Sensing the man's irritation, Obi-Wan smiled. "I knew you couldn't keep that apathetic facade up for long." Despite the fact dark spots plagued his vision, he egged the Jedi on, "If I'm your prisoner, are you going to throw me in the brig? Maybe you could chain me up first. Or better yet why don't you put a Force suppressor on me? It's been done to me before."  
  
Appalled by the accusations, Qui-Gon denounced, "I would never allow that. Do you think me so heartless? I am a Jedi, we do not."  
  
"I know what Jedi are and do," Obi-Wan reminded, "lest we forget I was one." He was beginning to feel slightly nauseous, but that could not stop him from pointing out that fact.  
  
Qui-Gon stared at the brigand noticing his pallor going a shade whiter. "I could never forget that. There has not been a day gone by that I have not thought of you."  
  
"How sentimental. I wish I could say the same, but I can't." Obi-Wan wanted to escape this farce with every fiber of his being but he found himself rooted. His gaze turned away as he confided, "Instead, every day I wished I could have forgotten my life as a Jedi. It's cost me nothing but pain."  
  
Disturbed by what he heard, Qui-Gon needed to refute the boy's words. "You can't mean that. We have only wanted the best for you."  
  
Obi-Wan let out a quick chortle, "Is that so, that's why I was sent to Bandomeer? That's why no one searched for me after the ship was attacked."  
  
In the accusations, suddenly Qui-Gon's perception was enlightened. He thought that we knew he was alive! He needed to correct that assumption. "We were told you had been killed. I have never seen Master Yoda so upset when he found out." He saw Obi-Wan absorb this realization. With new munitions in his arsenal, Qui-Gon pressed the youth. "Have you not thought about how your death had affected the rest of us? Do you have any idea of what this will mean to so many?"  
  
Gradually, he accepted this new information. He recalled Bant's stricken words, "we thought you were dead." He became aware of their real meaning. They were *told* I was dead. Slowly, he said, "I might have, had I thought I would see any of them again." The corsair battled with his thoughts. He had longed for his old friends at times. It was sometimes very lonely, as he was the only human among his pirate family. Tuuvu. He reminded himself of the promise he made his surrogate father. His place was no longer among the Jedi, he knew. He had a new home, with new friends and family. And he was determined to get back to them. "But it doesn't matter, because I won't be seeing them again. Once we get this ship repaired, I'm going back to my home."  
  
Qui-Gon felt the shift of the conversation change from two people reconciling old differences to two people tackling a problem. Taking on a more commanding tone, the Knight denied the youth. "I can not allow you to leave. The Council will want to speak with you and I only just got you back."  
  
"Got me back?" Obi-Wan barked, the raging seas returned. "You didn't get me back, you only stumbled upon me. If not for the fact that I couldn't persuade them to ignore this ship, you would never have learned I was alive." Sweat began to bead along the young brow and his side reaffirmed its presence with a brewing fire.  
  
Qui-Gon would not accept this, could not accept it. "No," he knew that what Obi-Wan said was true, but he could not allow him to get away again. "But I simply cannot let you walk out of my life again. I made that error once before and have been pleading for a chance to redeem myself for it."  
  
"So that's the real reason, isn't it? Is that what you see when you look upon me? Your redemption?" Obi-Wan stepped away and grabbed the back of a chair. He could feel the darkness beckoning him again, yet he continued to refuse its call. Instead, he concentrated on the Jedi Master's poise. "You are unbelievable, Master Jinn. And I'm amazed that over the past five years you have not changed a bit. You are still the self-righteous, conceited, egotistical being that toys with children's dreams. I won't be deceived by your omnipotent rectitude."  
  
"It was never my intention to give you false hope, not then and most definitely not now." Qui-Gon tried to stay Obi-Wan's belief that he meant to hurt him with his rejection. He saw the boy waver as Obi-Wan looked away. This is futile. We should be concerning ourselves with the ship and his condition, not having a petty argument about a past that can not be changed.  
  
His voice quivered a bit, but still retained the accusatory edge he had adopted recently. "Whether or not it was your intention doesn't matter. Your actions have stripped me of everything."  
  
"I can not be solely responsible for your current existence. The Council sent you to Bandomeer, and surely there were other Knights who rejected you before me." He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, but he refused to bare the brunt of the young man's downfall. Obi-Wan's head quickly turned at the blatant remark. Qui-Gon watched as the flickering light inside the boy smoldered under a blanket of pain.  
  
Smarting from the verbal blow, Obi-Wan staggered. Slowly, he responded, "I think this conversation is over. I have work to do." In order to protect his wounded psyche from any further harm, Obi-Wan decided to once again direct his focus on the problem at hand. He planned on checking the ship to assess the damage, but as he removed his hand from the chair, his step faltered. Quickly he caught himself and paused to clear his befuddled mind before he attempted to move again.  
  
Qui-Gon witnessed the faltered step and stated sharply, "I think you should stay here and rest."  
  
"As I have mentioned before, I don't care what you think." Again, Obi-Wan headed for the door, determined not to let his weakness show. Yet his body proved him false as he grabbed for another chair. Leaning heavily against it, he attempted to stop his carouseling vision when Qui-Gon placed a hand on his shoulder.  
  
The tall Knight knew nothing would stop Obi-Wan from forcing himself out to help with the recovery, lest it be anything short of pure exhaustion. Saving himself from another argument, he enhanced his command with the Force and whispered, "Sleep." And everything went dark for the troubled youth. Qui-Gon easily scooped the slender frame into his arms and turned toward the bed. As he looked down at the anguished young face, his heart began to ache anew.  
  
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Sorry about the wait everyone and I thank all those who helped me get this right. Especially Shanobi and Flashbacca. I struggled with it for quite sometime, but I hope the end results were as satisfactory to you as it is for me. Don't forget to REVIEW!!!! I've made this story my baby and I want to hear everyone's thoughts. I accept all compliments, criticisms and flames. So don't be afraid to tell me what's on your mind. Because if it didn't matter to me, I wouldn't have asked for it.  
  
Jolie - Thank you. I'm glad you like the conflict. I think it's been fun writing it out. : )  
  
Cas - Thanks. I'm really glad you felt that it was real and believable. I hope that this chapter was just as good. And our Obi can never deny who he is despite what his life might be. I'm still waiting for another chapter of 'Remnants.' ; ) And I also read your 'profile' and was surprised to see another like the Tripods series. : D That has been a major influence in my life, mostly because of the British series first. But I did find the books and were able to finally read them too. : ) Well, I just thought I would share that really quickly. Thanks for reading. : D  
  
Ewok kid - *blushes badly* I don't think it's *that* good, but I really, really appreciate the comment. I liked the idea of conflicted pirate Obi too, which is why when I read this plot bunny it bit me so bad, I have a scar. ; ) But I proudly bare that scar because this is just such a wonderful premise I feel privileged to write it. Thank you again for the wonderful comment. : D  
  
blackhawk - Thanks. : ) I will. I really, really enjoy writing this, even if it gives me trouble. Thanks for reading.  
  
Ciria - You're too kind. : ) I had great inspiration for Obi's eyes. I had a wallpaper with a fabulous picture of Ewan and it had the best shot of his eyes in it. *sigh* And I'm glad you liked how I showed their emotions. For this fic I have tried to place myself in every perspective so that I can understand their feelings and convey them accordingly. I hope this chap was good for you. I think this fic will move slowly at first so that I can address their reactions properly. As things progress it might move along faster, might. So please be patient and I will have answers to all your questions. Thanks. : D  
  
Maygin - Thank you very much. I've put a lot into this story and hope that I can maintain that precarious balance. I don't want to bore my readers but I also don't want to gyp them out of the emotional struggle as well. I know the concept of 'Pirate" Obi is old and I wouldn't be surprised to find others who have thought of this possibility, but when I read the Plot Bunny, I just had to pick it up and cuddle and nurture it. I don't think you sound like a 'jerk' and I did ask for all opinions so I'm glad you're being honest. The Pirates will come back into play but read my response to Ciria to find out why not yet. Personally, I hate sap. Never been one to watch 'girly' movies and I just don't think the Star Wars Universe is a sappy place. More like raw emotions and struggling to contain them. Oh, and for the moon question. If you read the first paragraph on Chapter one, you'll see that Obi was staring at a moon. And he recognized it when they went past. The moon evoked certain emotions that he remembered as they passed it. Well, this is getting really long, sorry about that. And I appreciate you adding me to your favs. : D  
  
Heidi M - Thank you! That was part of my motivation on how Obi would respond. How would I feel if it happened to me. So I'm glad that you liked that part. ; )  
  
Peggy Schiltz - Thanks. : D Will do.  
  
Shan - My wonderful beta and inspiration for this story, thank you for letting me write it. It's been a wonderful experience thus far, even with the obstacles. I still think I'm lacking on the talent end of it, but I really am glad that you like what I have done. I would hate to have dishonoured your original concept. You're the best. : D  
  
grab-ur-lightsaber - Awww, thank you! *blush* I'm sorry if I confused you a bit. Sometimes my style works for me but not everyone else. I'll post again to 'Catch Me' soon though. And I appreciate you reviewing it. As we have both said, you seem to be the only one who is reading it. Thanks for both stories!! : D  
  
lisa - I don't know about that. But I'll be happy to have people who follow my work. I tend to think that each story has it's own 'flavour' and I hope that it doen't throw anyone off too badly. I really appreciate your thoughts. Thanks. : D  
  
Meggie - LOL, You're too funny. "Hey there little puppies, I think I have a milk bone for you. Arrghhh!" Alright, I borrowed that from 'Ghostbusters' but I think it works. ; ) All I can say is that I'm breathing a sigh of relief that I got the chapter up before the cut-off time. Thanks for reading. : D  
  
Death Rider - I hope that was satisfactory with what you hoped for. Thanks for reading regardless. ; )  
  
Havoc - Thanks. It's only natural for people to think of themselves first. It's a rare person who thinks of others. Which our Obi often does and that's why we love him. I hope you liked what I've done. Thanks again. : ) 


	5. Chapter 4: Wading Through

Chapter 4: Wading Through

"Life and all it's many choices

Are so funny and so mean

Deep thoughts in one's convictions

Can be someone's discontent

Just what it seems isn't

If must needs the devil drives

Soul Searcher what are you looking for

Soul giver what will you settle for" – Soul Searcher (Clanad)

His arms pulled the youth tighter to him, as Qui-Gon walked toward the sleepcouch. His thoughts still reeling from the battle he had forcefully ended. And he hated himself for it. When he first realized who their captive and daring pilot rescuer was, he had been both elated and dismayed. And those compelling eyes only added to the confusion of his emotions. _And what are you going to do now?_ He asked himself. 

Carefully, he placed the corsair on the mattress but could not bring himself to release his hold from the young man. Instead he wanted to grip tighter so as not to loose him again; so as not to let go of the fantastic waking dream he found him self in. How he wished everything could have gone differently, and not turned into the nightmare it had so quickly become. _He will not be pleased,_ his conscience remarked. 

His internal debate began. _He never was to begin with, _answering himself wryly. His hand strayed closer to the taut features of the boy, and he marveled to realize that his hand was trembling lightly. 

Noticing the shivering hand as well, his conscience asked, _How is it that one boy can effect you more than the thousand wars you have seen? _

Sighing, he lightly brushed the soft ginger bangs from the young face and sat on the edge to watch him sleep. _He is special._

Passively, his conscience queried further, _If he's so special, why did you let him go all those years ago??_

Because, I was blind. I already realized that. He reminded his inner voice. _There was nothing I could do when we were told he had been killed. _

And you are so certain of that? A hint of speculation in its tone.

Tearing his gaze away, Qui-Gon finally stood. Clenching his eyes closed from the rebuke, he stopped two steps away from the couch. _What could I have done? Gone to search in vain? The Council would never have allowed that._

Slowly, he turned back to the sleeping rogue, watching the slight rise and fall of Obi-Wan's chest. Again the voice remained calm yet condoning at the same time, inciting him further. _Yet in your heart, did you not question their judgement when they could provide no trace of him?_

Of course, I did. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and fell into the defensive posture he used so often in his negotiations._ But what good could I have done? The investigating authorities claimed that the Pirates took no prisoners._

The diplomatic voice claimed plainly, _They took at least one._

The casually spoken fact infuriated him even more than he anticipated. Breathing deeply, he mimicked Obi-Wan's rhythmic breathes to calm his fraying nerves. After a moment he thought but could not finish, _If I had only known. . . . _

What would you have done? He asked himself incredulously. 

Taking a step closer to the sleeping form again. _Searched for him, obviously._

You speak with the knowledge of hindsight, but would you have, truthfully? Qui-Gon moved to sit at the edge of the bed again. He soon realized that the innocent face of youth no longed resided in Obi-Wan's features. A whisper even more insidious than his conscience admonished, _You did that to him._ Closing his eyes again, he fought desperately to deny the accusation.

Taking a deep breath he tried to release his anxiety to the Force. He soon found the effort pointless. At last, he answered the question posed. _I can only hope that I would have._

Qui-Gon could have sworn he heard the incessant voice chuckle. _Hope is not a bad motivation, only when it is misguided. _Understanding that further explanation was necessary, his conscience continued. _If you were so blind as not to trust the Force's prompting, you would have accepted the Padawan at once. And now you assume that you would have rushed out to save the wayward initiate had you known he was captive somewhere. You assumed too much._

Slowly his hand reached out to rest on the young man's forehead. _How can you berate me so? Have I not been through enough?_ He was surprised to find tears welling in his eyes as his hand lingered on the pale skin.

__

I can see that the lessons you have learned have taught you nothing. The inner voice seemed to sigh. _For once, Master Jedi, remove the blind fold and see what your actions have wrought._

Desolation began to close in on the Master Jedi as he speculated, _Can I truly be held responsible? What have my actions begotten?_

One forsaken. With every moment the sands slip further through your fingers. You have much work to do if you are to save any of it. His conscience full of remorse. The Knight moved his hand down to the wounded side of the boy and hovered.

__

Is it possible to save? Is it even worth the effort? Reaching into the calming presence of the Force, he directed as much of its healing powers into the burn. 

__

Only time can answer that. The inner voice seemed to become distant, as if it were drifting down a stream. _Time that trickles on while you do nothing. Hurry, time will not wait for you._

Qui-Gon could barely hear the words now and called out desperately, _What should I do? Where do I begin?_ Only silence answered his pleas. Distraught by his inner conflict and the truths that were brought to light, Qui-Gon remained at the edge of the bed. At that moment in time, nothing else existed beyond that room.

***

Siri and her Master had been lost in deep reflection when they heard a small voice cut through their thoughts. In the midst of the news, Siri had almost forgotten about the young initiates that she was to tend. Only moments before Bant had come running into the room, Siri had finally managed to get the youngsters to sleep. She left the adjoining room so that she wouldn't disturb them and hoped that her Master would return soon. Fortunately, Adi had come in only a few moments later.

A young girl of about 9 standard years stood in the doorway of the two rooms. "Siri? Is everything alright?"

Quickly, the Padawan rose to greet the youth, "Yes, Tola. Everything's fine."

"When will we be going home?" She asked, her lilac eyes staring up at the apprentice. The girl's gazed flicked for a moment toward the Councilwoman before settling back on Siri. 

The Padawan glanced back at the Jedi Master as well, a hint of concern in her features. Looking the young girl in the eyes, she stated, "Soon."

Realizing, she wasn't going to get a better answer, Tola nodded. There was a moment of reticence that held the room then broke when the 'fresher door opened. As soon as Bant and Tahl entered, Tola shot Siri an irritated glance. It seemed obvious to the youngster that everything was not ok from the sadden expression on the Calamarian's face. Without reserve, Tola ran past Siri and Adi to cling to the other Padawan. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, Tola. I'm alright." Bant tried to dissuade the young girl's concern. Managing to get the initiate to loosen her hold, Bant knelt down to be on eye level with the child.

Tola did not let her go entirely. She held onto the Padawan's hands and gave her a face that revealed her disbelief. Tola let go of one of Bant's hands and the tip came up to brush away some of her dark teal bangs. Staring at the Padawan for a moment longer, she finally asked, "This has something to do with that Pirate, … Obi-Wan?" She had paused to recall the name she heard.

Suddenly fresh tears rimmed Bant's eyes, "How did you ….?" Her voice hitched and the Padawan couldn't complete the question.

Blushing for a second, Tola said, "I couldn't sleep. I heard Master Gallia and Siri talking. Did you know him?" Bant could only nod, as words would not form for her. Sadly, the young initiate asked, "Is … he dead?"

Remembering their brief interaction, Bant glanced down and replied, "He said he was … is." Tola tilted her head in obvious confusion but said nothing. Quietly, the girl embraced the Calamarian again. From behind the Padawan, Tahl placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Bant looked up thankfully. 

A few minutes passed in silence as they all tried to guess at what would happen next. It was Adi who finally disrupted the quiet. "Siri and I will go and check on our guest. I don't want to leave them alone for too long. And we still have to contact the Captain to discuss our options."

Nodding, Tahl agreed, "I think it would be best if we stayed with the initiates for a while. Please keep us appraised of the situation."

Approving, Adi glanced back to Siri and gave a slight nod. The girl responded immediately by following her out of the room. Crossing the hall, they entered the other cabin. Adi had been expecting them to still be arguing and was shocked to find the room silent. 

On the bed, Qui-Gon sat vigilantly over the sleeping form of their captive. Her features taking on a more somber appearance as her worry grew. She had never known the tall Master to get upset over anything, it was the reason the Council chose him as their prime negotiator. However, when she looked upon him, she found red eyes. And it disturbed her greatly. She probed, "Qui-Gon?"

The Knight held his position but turned to fully face the two Jedi that had entered. "He is …. asleep."

"What have you learned?" Adi questioned as she strode up to the end of the sleepcouch. Siri headed to the other side to stand opposite the tall Knight. The Padawan gazed intently at the sleeping form. Now that she had pulled up those memories, she could see the resemblance. 

Qui-Gon took a deep breath before answering. "I discovered that he believed that the Jedi abandoned him to the Pirates. And that he plans to return to them once we leave."

"That is not acceptable, the Council…" Adi began but was abruptly cut off.

"I already told him that was impossible." His gaze drifted past the noblewoman to focus on nothing. His method of confining the youth disturbed him greatly. Confessing, he told Adi, "I said that he… is our prisoner." 

Observing the reserved Knight, she realized he had used this as a desperate measure to stop Obi-Wan from leaving. Suddenly, she wished she had never left them alone. But she also knew that Qui-Gon would not have allowed her to stay. Now she wanted the man to detail their entire conversation, but thought it would be awkward in front of her Padawan. Instead she decided, "Siri, you stay here and watch over Obi-Wan. If he wakes, he is not to leave the ship. It would be preferable that he stay in this room, but he is not confined to quarters, _yet_." Having taken charge of the situation, Adi then addressed her concern, "Qui-Gon, come with me to locate the Captain."

Accepting the new orders, Qui-Gon stood, but never lifted his hand from the pale forehead. Adi nodded and then walked out. Qui-Gon stood staring down for a few moments longer before tearing himself away from the young man's side to join Adi Gallia. 

Siri watched the Jedi Masters leave. At first she felt awkward standing there, staring but after a while she moved to a more comfortable position to think. Again memories began to play out re-affirming the presence of this one-time initiate in her life. Little by little, she began to feel annoyed by his actions since the reports of his 'death.' He could have been a great Jedi Knight, yet he threw it all away to be a pirate. And she could not abide by that decision no matter what he might have believed happened back then.

In the hall, Adi waited for Qui-Gon, when he emerged, her frown deepened. He seemed more like a lost pet than a Jedi Knight. His gaze never lifted past the height of the sleep couch and he stopped just behind her, waiting for her to guide him. She needed him to snap out of this reverie he had plunged into, so she asked, "Qui-Gon, will you be alright?" He nodded but did not look at her. "Qui-Gon, I understand this is a most difficult situation for you. And it's obvious things have not gone as you hoped they would. But I need you to focus right now. Obi-Wan will have to wait while we figure out a way to get back to the Temple. We have initiates that need to be taken care of before you can work out your situation with Obi-Wan. Do you understand?" She could think of no other way to bring him back except by placing the current problems before him to focus on.

Qui-Gon had heard the Councilwoman's words but they took a few minutes to sink in. Again he nodded, and then raised his eyes to meet the fellow Master's. Adi watched as a new fire lit behind the azure gaze. "I understand completely, Master. However, I was sent on this mission for a purpose and I believe that purpose now sleeps in that room," the Knight pointed to the door they had exited from. "I will accompany you to locate the Captain. And once we have learned what our current situation is, I will be coming back here. I assume full responsibility for our captive." With that the tall Jedi pushed past the frowning woman. He was determined to complete this task quickly so that he could return to Obi-Wan as soon as possible.

**

"Captain," a lieutenant called as their commander entered. "The repairs are almost complete."

"Good," Tuuvu answered, pleased at their rapid progress. "Once those sensors are back up, I want you to begin searching for that vessel."

"Aye, Cap'n." Grruun quickly headed off to do his leader's bidding.

Tuuvu continued his examination of the repairs on the bridge. Reclining in one of the pilot chairs, he began to replay the entire raid in his mind. He remembered Obi's trepidation about the assault even before they had set out and wished he had done more to listen to it. Now his cub was in the hands of those they had afflicted and he had no idea what they were doing to him. Frustrated, his fist slammed into the control panel. The distraught captain slouched in his seat trying not to let his worry consume him. A hand came to rest on his shoulder and Tuuvu looked up to see his loyal friend Mrrogh standing beside him. 

"Don't worry. I'm sure he's all right." Mrrogh tried to console his leader, but knew that the caring commandant would not rest until the entire crew had been accounted for. Now, he only regretted mentioning what he had witnessed in the hall of the doomed ship. As soon as he recounted the blaster wound that Obi-Wan received, he could see the weight descend on the Togorian's shoulders.

It was true of course, when Tuuvu learned of the wound his cub had been dealt, he had admonished his lack of observation. Irritated with himself, Tuuvu recalled how well his cub hid his pain. A distant memory resurfaced and the patriarch recalled it had once taken him a week to discover the boy had broken an arm after one of their first raids together. A soft smile almost made it to his features before a fist crashed into the panel again. "I need to get him back, Mrrogh. I need to make sure he's ok."

Mrrogh sought for anything that could alleviate some of the distress his friend suffered from. The only comforting words came from the one who was lost. "He said they were all Jedi. They would not harm him."

"Maybe not, but they have already given him a wound that has never healed." His thoughts drifting back even further in time. A time when he comforted a scared and ailing boy, whom their previous captain, had mistreated. But the undying agony of rejection and abandonment was the true source of the boy's tormented soul. And that pain was the result of what the Jedi had done to him. However, once Obi-Wan had recovered enough from his afflictions, Tuuvu could also see the good they had instilled in the youth. And the skills and guidance that now affected their own lives as well. His mind wandered back through their raid and he realized one fact they had neglected before. "Not everyone on that ship was a Jedi. We have to find him." Worry rooted itself deeper into the man's thoughts.

Distracted by their contemplation, neither heard Kuuur's arrival. Without pretense, he questioned, "I heard you have given orders to seek out that ship. Is it true?"

Wearily, Tuuvu responded, "Yes."

The sable Togorian crossed his arms and straightened to full height. "I can't let you do that. You risk the ship for one who is already lost."

Tuuvu pressed down his growing concern and stood to face his First Mate. "You don't know that Kuuur."

"That ship was dying," Kuuur stated, "and it was taking all those on board with it." He forced the probably reality out into the open.

"Cub is resourceful. I know he managed to land that ship." Tuuvu began to resume working on some of the minor repairs to keep his mind from straying too far. "And I refuse to abandon him."

"*_If*_ he lived, he promised he would come back to you." Kuuur followed his Captain, attempting to redirect their priorities. "Don't throw our lives away for just one being."

But Tuuvu would not listen to reason. "You know I can't do that."

"This is madness. He isn't even Togorian!" Kuuur growled in frustration.

A grey and white streak crossed the room to challenge his insolent subordinate. "That is irrelevant. He is my son, by soul if not by blood."

Knowing this was getting them no where, Kuuur tried a different approach, "I know he has made his way into your heart. And he was a great asset to this crew. But to hunt for him now only places us in undue danger."

"Kuuur, if I know my crew, which I should as their captain, then I know there is not one among us who would not seek cub out." The Captain backed down slightly as he knew he spoke the truth. "He has made our efforts more profitable and has become a friend to everyone on board and at home. Now I ask you this, if it had been Liior would you be able to go back to Daangh without him?"

"No." Kuuur cringed inside as he thought about the possibility and Tuuvu easily recognized it. 

Watching the tides turn, he pressed his point further, "Then how can you expect me to do the same with Jorri?"

Accepting his commander's decision, Kuuur relented. But he could not dismiss all his misgivings about this endeavour. After a few moments he voiced, "What if we don't find him?"

Sighing, Tuuvu's shoulders dropped, "I will face that reality when I come to it."

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I'm trying a slightly different file format, so I hope this wasn't too odd for you. Anyway, Please don't forget to review!! I can not stress enough how much I want all of your thoughts on this one. Be the thoughts good or bad. I just want you to tell me. Please, Please, Please REVIEW!!!!! Thanks for reading!

Meggie – I'm making in just under the wire. I'm sorry and will try to do better next time. And don't worry, I'm a non-slash kinda girl. ; ) *turns to the puppies behind Meggie* And I have a ham bone for you boys! Like me yet, pooches?

Shan – Ah, my dear, go ahead and live vicariously through this fic. In a sense, you are 'writing' this too. I know what you have said, but this was your PB first and since I value your input on it, I think you deserve some of the praise in the feedback as well. : D And this PB had "big, sharp pointy teeth!" But as I mentioned before, I proudly bare the scar to this little rabbit. But you really must stop posting such delicious PB's, or else I'll never finish anything. ; ) Thanks again for everything!! : D

obaona - Thank you. : ) I'm glad that their emotional conflicts are as gripping as the 'physical' ones. I think we'll have to wait and see if it is willing or unwilling, or even if it happens at all. The Force is a mysterious thing, but we will have to trust it's guidance for this fic. ; )

Ewok Kid - *blush* Thank you very much. I'm so very happy that you are enjoying this little-story-soon-to-be-epic. : ) I just hope you like what I have in store for this timeline.

amazed – yeah, it's all good stuff. Thanks for reading. : D

Ciria – Happy Belated B-Day!! :D Sorry I didn't mention it before. : ( But I kept forgetting. My bad. I hope I spoiled you again. : D And I hope that the chap was worth the wait. I'm enjoying working out the emotional turmoil for each of them. And have been striving to convey them all. I am a child of emotion(being a Cancer) and I love the Moon. Which only adds to my emotional ties and sign. For some reason I think Obi could be a Cancer child as well. They are nurturing souls and giving. They tend to 'hide' behind a shell of perfect harmony when they could be torn inside. But their problems are not their main concern, but others. History and stories mean a great deal to them as they cherish family and friends. But that's just me. Anyway, tell me every single thought you had. You know how much I appreciate your reviews. ; ) Thanks! : D

Culf – Wow, I'm actually impressed. I don't see many Qui fans around. There might be some conflict still between them, but Obi is not one to hold grudges for too long in my mind. Just be patient with me as some things have to get worse before they can get better. Thanks. : )

Arnen – Thanks. I will do my best to get you another chapter soon. ; )

Cas – Hey, thanks for reviewing at both sites. I really appreciate it!! : D This chap came pretty easily for me, and I hope any future 'rough' spots won't be as bad as last chap. And I'm hoping to see more on 'Remnants' soon too. ; )

Rai – I try not to be mean and horrible. And you are right, the Prologue is short. But most of my other chapters on this have been roughly 5-6 pages on word at 10 pt font. That's pretty long for me for each chap. So please bare with me and thanks for reading!! : D

grab-ur-lightsaber – LOL, I don't know if _I_ would have been able to argue my way out of that one on the fly either. So, are you enjoying the wallpaper?? That site has a few great shots that I rotate with. *sigh* Sends me right into dreamland. : D And that chap was the hardest one I have ever written. But this one wasn't so bad. I just hope not to have to face another road block like that again. Thanks.

Death Rider – Mental anguish good! Physical anguish good too! *sigh* I am a proud member of OTA(Obi-Torture Anonymous) and it's one of my favourite things!! : D Much more to come! ] : )

Beth – Wow, thank you soo much. : D I have been working so hard to really bring out the dynamic between our two favourite chars. Obi and Qui have so much character to work with. And I can't tell you how pleased I am that you told me what you thought. If you could please review whenever you get the chance I would be forever grateful. As for your Siri question, here's my answer. This is an AU but not an overly drastic AU. One choice created this time line and we are seeing the results of that. There would still have been a child on Kegan, and Siri did go. But it was another Jedi team that went as well. There will be a lot of references to events that happened in the JA series through out the beginning portions of this story. As I'm sure you have guessed, Tahl didn't die on New Apsolon and She didn't even go blind on Melida/Daan. And I will explain some of that in time. I also just want to warn you, that this is _my_ SWU AU, which means I will also make a small number of references to some of my other stories and how _they_ fit into this timeline. I'm sorry if that does not appeal to you, but it's something that this story has compelled me to do. I hope you stick it out and see what I have in store for our fav duo and company. Thanks again for reading and especially reviewing!! : D


	6. Chapter 5: Crimson Wishes Grant Only Bl...

Chapter 5: Crimson Wishes Grant Only Black Dreams  
  
"Spend all your time waiting for that second chance  
  
For the break that will make it OK  
  
There's always some reason to feel not good enough  
  
And it's hard at the end of the day  
  
I need some distraction or a beautiful release  
  
Memories seep from my veins  
  
Let me be empty and weightless and maybe  
  
I'll find some peace tonight" - Angel (Sara McLachlan - City of Angels Soundtrack)  
  
Captain Lessik accessed the outside hatch and prepared for any surprises. Fortunately, only the tall meadow grass moved from a gentle breeze. Beyond the clearing, he noted that the forest was thick and dense. He motioned for some of his crew to exit, in order for them to begin their exterior examination of the damage. At that moment the rest of his crew was working on the internal problems while he took the rest out.  
  
Lessik followed his crew outside and kept himself alert for any danger. While watching his crew work, the Captain's thoughts wondered. He recalled the entire incident that led them here. He remembered that the tall Jedi, Master Jinn, had been sent along to watch for the pirates. The board that controlled Galactic Transit Corp requested extra protection in the event they were raided, thus the Jedi had sent the Knight along.  
  
However, Lessik was unsure as to what the Knight would do, since the pirates were only glorified thieves. Once their ship had been attacked, the Knight advised that they act calmly. Jinn knew there were no valuables on board and thought that caution would guarantee safety for the passengers and crew. This tactic was working until the explosion.  
  
That event changed the course of both parties. For the pirates, it meant abandon ship and get away as quickly as possible. For his crew and passengers, it meant a fight for survival. What fascinated Lessik the most was the interaction between the Togorians and the human among them. The boy seemed young, but they obviously valued his opinion. Lessik also realized that the boy had known that there were Jedi, mostly, on board. This had peeked his curiosity, since it appeared that he knew that before the raid took place. At least, that was what he gathered from the boy's words. The Togorian raiders all spoke in their native tongue so, Lessik had listened intently on the boy's comments.  
  
Later, once the pirate vessel broke off, he was surprised to find the rogue on his bridge. And not just on his bridge but offering his help to land the craft. Lessik knew that without his co-pilot, Griven, to help, they would have a slim chance of surviving. He was further surprised when the pirate asked for the controls to land the ship, for the most part, by himself. Even as he thought about these events, Lessik was still not sure what prompted him to trust the rouge completely. But in all honesty, he was glad he did.  
  
Now, he pondered how the raider/hero was doing. He recalled the crimson colour of blood coating some of the controls and the faint, once they landed. The Jedi had said, 'Obi-Wan' when he looked upon the lad and Lessik wasn't sure if that was the boy's name or something else. But the tall Jedi stated that they would take care of their own and took the boy with him. For some reason he knew that the Jedi also included the rouge in question.  
  
In the mean time, he needed to take care of his crew and find out how extensive the damage was. He had four of his men with him and five working in the engineering room. Griven and his medic, Kohnwei, were in the infirmary. All of his men were accounted for and only Griven had been injured when the control panel exploded.  
  
Returning to his current situation, Lessik watched one of his lieutenants walk up. "Captain, external damage report."  
  
"Yes, Mister Obser, go ahead." The Captain straightened and prepared himself for the worst.  
  
"The main starboard engine is beyond repair. The aft starboard has been damaged, and we are trying to see if there will be any way to repair it. Both port side engines have minor damage and we have already begun work on them. There are a number of hull breaches that will need fixing before lifting off. And I spoke with Jeswick, sir. He said that the hyperdrive is also damaged but he thinks we can get it working again. End report." The lieutenant paused to let his Captain think over what he had relayed and waited for his orders.  
  
Lessik allowed the information to sink in, and nodded slowly. "Thank you, Obser," he said absent-mindedly while he worked out their status. A few minutes later, his posture changed and he began, "Give me your honest opinion, Nev, will we get this bird off the ground?"  
  
Relaxing a bit, Nev turned back to look the ship over once more before answering. At last he said, "Honestly. I don't think so, Fen. But we will do everything we can before giving up."  
  
"Thanks, Nev." Fen gave his companion a small smile in gratitude for his honesty. His crew was a good group of people and he was proud to serve with them. They were not a military group in the least, but the Galactic Transit Corp. had modeled their piloting staff and crews after some of the military standards set by the Senate. As a result, they ran their ships in a similar manner and Lessik was no exception. But when it came down to his crew, he also thought of them as a strange sort of family, a brotherhood of sorts. Nev had been one of his closest friends in the crew and had worked with him for too many years to count. Nev Obser and Wuan Jeswick were his main engineers and he valued their opinions greatly.  
  
He was about to call Jeswick when he noticed the tall Jedi and stern Councilwoman coming up to greet them. They began by stating, "Your crewman, Sordin, said we would find you out here."  
  
"Yes, Master Gallia. We needed to do an external examination as well as internal. How are your initiates?" The Captain expressed his concern for his passengers.  
  
Adi nodded in thanks and replied, "They are all well. Master Tahl and Padawans Siri and Bant were able to secure them during our landing. There were only minor injuries, which we were able to care for easily. How is your crew?"  
  
"Only my co-pilot, Griven has sustained an injury. He is being cared for right now by my medic, Kohnwei." For some reason, Fen did not want to broach the subject of their guest and skirted the issue all together. "It's good to hear that you are all well. I'm afraid we won't be leaving as soon as I would like. We still have some assessments to do, but it appears that we are stuck here for a while."  
  
"Is there anything we can do, Captain?" The diplomatic Councilor offered.  
  
"No, not at the moment Master Jedi. I will let you know if we require any additional assistance." Lessik glanced at the silent Jedi for a moment and he noticed the tense features. Something must be wrong, but I don't think I'll ask him just yet. Just then, another thought struck him, "Maybe there is something you can help with. Would you mind checking out the surrounding area briefly to determine if there is an immediate danger to my crew? All of my hands are working on getting us back in the air and I am concerned for their safety. Your initiates', as well."  
  
Qui-Gon was not pleased with the request, it would delay him from getting back to Obi-Wan, but he read the reproach in Adi's gaze and remained quiet. "Of course, Captain. It's the least we could do." The reserved woman glanced again to her companion and headed off to start the preliminary search.  
  
Lessik and Obser watched the two walk off before making their way to assist with the repairs. The Captain paused once more to stare at the retreating forms. His thoughts careened into each other before pushing them to the back of his mind and concentrating on the task ahead.  
  
**  
  
"Captain, the sensor array has picked up a strong ion trail." Grruun informed his commander, adding, "It wasn't hard to miss with an engine that damaged." The Togorian glanced back at his Captain and could see the drawn features. He quickly added, "I'm sure he was able to land it."  
  
Tuuvu nodded. "Track it and find out where that ship landed. I want to find Obi and get back home as soon as possible."  
  
"Yes, Captain. We'll find him." Grruun watched as his leader turned and left the forward cabin. The younger Togorian was still trying to impress the commander by proving his worth. Having only come aboard the pirate vessel a few months ago, he still had trouble deciphering the chief's mood. Grruun also remembered how Obi-Wan had helped him get adjusted to ship life. Suddenly, the urge to find the kind human filled him and he quickly set himself to the task.  
  
**  
  
A soft moan disturbed the quiet of the room. Slowly, darkness released her hold on the weary consciousness allowing it once again to return to the light. Awareness crept through the sluggish thoughts and a lingering suggestion of the Force still clung to his mind. Somewhere his mind surmised, Qui-Gon. His mental tone venomous, reflecting the contemptible ire that boiled beneath the surface.  
  
Gingerly, a hand came up to rub at his aching head. With the realization that the Force still hovered around his consciousness, Obi-Wan grew steadily angrier. He had spent most of his years away from the Jedi building up his shields to protect him from detection and in worse case scenarios, suggestion. He valued the barricades surrounding his mind and could not believe someone was able to slip past them. It didn't matter that he was so focused on fighting the pain and dizziness to maintain the mental barriers, the fact that he was susceptible to it bothered him greatly.  
  
His hand moved down to check his wounded side and found that there was less pain in the movements. He could also sense the foreign concentration of the Force around the marred tissue. Again he gathered it was Jinn's handiwork and frowned further. Slowly, he opened his eyes and stared at the ceiling. When his mind cleared he could feel the other occupant in the room but said nothing to acknowledge her.  
  
Siri had been watching the sleeping form intently, waiting for her chance to speak with him. With every passing moment her desire to question him and voice her thoughts grew steadily. From the moment she saw him stir, she began to hold her breath while she waited for him to wake fully. When his eyes fluttered open, she exhaled and then said, "I remember you now."  
  
At first, Obi-Wan didn't know how to respond. For him, the recollection of her memories only made things worse for him. Sighing, he replied sarcastically, "I'm happy for you. Now leave me alone."  
  
Minute passed as silence claimed the room. Finally, Siri said, "My Master requests that you remain in the cabin."  
  
Absently, he baited her on, "What if I don't? Are you going to throw me in the brig?"  
  
"If I had my way, you would have already been there." The Padawan shifted in her place but never removed her gaze from the prone figure.  
  
Obi-Wan scanned his body to find out how well he was healing. Somewhat pleased with the results, he let his annoyance live in the conversation. "I thought Jedi were the trusting sort. I guess I was wrong." He lay still for a moment thinking about his situation. He asked, "Can I help with the repairs?"  
  
"No."  
  
He was getting steadily more agitated by her curt responses. "Have they even done their assessment yet?"  
  
"They're checking on it." They sat in silence again for some time. Both teenagers were trying to reign in their irritation, and both failing. She had so many questions she wanted answered but didn't know where to begin. Her thoughts were debating over what to say next and what came out surprised her but she did not regret it. "You should have contacted us."  
  
Not answering, Obi-Wan carefully sat up and stared at the blonde young woman that guarded him. Her hard glare and accusatory tone was what he expected upon his return from the dead. Silently, the two battled wills before, Obi-Wan finally said, "What difference would it have made?"  
  
Siri did not move, just remained leaning against the wall across from him with her arms folded in front of her. Narrowing her gaze she answered, "You would have been with the Jedi again."  
  
Shaking his head, Obi-Wan said, "No, I would have been sent off again. Thrown away."  
  
"So you chose to stay with pirates?" The Padawan pushed off from the wall and took a step closer to the brigand. "Did you think that was what the Jedi had trained you for? To rob and destroy?"  
  
Pouncing up to stand off against Siri, Obi-Wan pushed back the slight wave of dizziness that swept through him. "The *Jedi* showed me I was worthless to them when they sent me away. If a group of pirates were willing to take me in, then who cares what you think?"  
  
Never backing down from a battle, Siri moved closer, "Did you strike that bargain when they first boarded your ship? How about slaughtering some of the crew? Did you turn so quickly?"  
  
A flash of the hazy incident burned through his mind, creating a swirl of emotions that encompassed Obi-Wan; pain, rage, regret, despair. "I was taken as a captive at first," he uttered through clenched teeth. "I was dead for a time before I became one of them. It would disgust you to learn what happened to me during that time."  
  
Confusion lit the girl's cerulean eyes, "So they forced you to join them?"  
  
"No!" His voice was hoarse from the raging storm in his soul, "I joined them after Tuuvu saved me."  
  
In all honesty, Siri was curious. She so wanted to understand what had happened in his life that would have made him want to remain 'lost.' "Saved you from what?"  
  
From the pain inflicted upon me by Drrov, when I was nothing but his to punish! From the revolting abyss of rejection that I so willingly fell into! But mostly, from myself! His rampant mind wanted to scream out but rationale and stubborn defiance won and he gave the only answer he could, "Pain." It was a simple, plain answer, but he could see that she understood somehow.  
  
Siri backed up for a moment, as not to get caught up in the infinitesimal abundance of desperation that swelled in the seas. Suddenly, she got the impression that he spoke truthfully and she did not want to know had happened to him. A shiver ran through her and she felt the urge to leave. She knew she tread on grounds beyond a line she should never have crossed. Softly, she said, "I will let them know you are a awake." And with that she turned and hurried out of the room.  
  
Stunned for a moment by the apprentice's abrupt departure, Obi-Wan stared after her. Before he knew what was happening he found himself wandering the halls of the ship. He felt that if he remained in the room any longer the torrent of emotions would have ripped him apart, so he ran. He just didn't want to answer anymore questions right then. He was tired and confused and all he wanted was to drift into darkness and not feel anymore.  
  
Somehow, he managed to find the ship's small Rec Room, which was available for the passengers. His gaze wandered around the room before lighting upon an object that he hoped could help him. Quickly, he crossed the vacant room and shrugged off his coat. For a moment he stood in front of the padded pedestal before striking out with a clenched fist. The blow landed solidly on the synthetic rawhide. And for that instant the dull ache that ran up his arm overpowered the chaos erupting inside of him.  
  
The sensation of pain meeting pain invited him and Obi-Wan struck out in reply to its call. Again the dull ache collided with his internal waves of emotion. Struggling against the undercurrents of his tormented soul, he continued his attack on the unyielding post.  
  
Punching and kicking he lashed out, allowing his emotions to flow from him. His mind wandering through the expanse of his memories, bringing up each event with vivid newness. Every second of his past brought up to taunt and tease the hopes and dreams of one who no longer existed. Anger and rage at the misery that coated his entire being begged for release. And he thrashed out harder to offer them some sort of escape. Escape. It was all Obi-Wan wanted.  
  
To be free of the pain and sorrow; to be free of the emptiness and desolation; to be free of everything that made him who he was. A void. I want to be a void. Nothing. Empty. No more feelings. And the waves of physical pain clashed with his emotional anguish creating that moment of vacuity that he longed for. So he gave himself up to the dance, swinging wildly at the boxing post. Spinning around attacking the inanimate object with all of his might. The fervor of his motions grew steadily in intensity. And the emotions displayed in his sea-change eyes careened from hurt, anger, and pain. Attacking again and again, he let the pole personify everything that had caused him agony. Diligently beating it into submission, forcing it down into the abyss of discommode, he fought the stabbing ache that threatened to rip his heart out.  
  
Desolation and desperation clawed at his distraught countenance, shredding his resolve. And unbeknownst to Obi-Wan, tears traced the lines of his cheeks. His soft skin glistened from his exertion. The silken ginger strands clumped together. His bangs dangled in his face, allowing salty water to sting his eyes. He didn't know how long he was at it, nor did he give a damn. All he wanted was to stop the misery that engulfed him daily amidst the catastrophe that had become his existence. Rip from his mind, the day his dreams were crushed and buried into the ground of hopelessness. The day his life changed forever and created the monster that fleetingly clung to life.  
  
His thirteenth birthday, a day he should have celebrated with his Master and given a special gift. A gift signifying the commitment of a Jedi Master to their Padawan that they would be there for him. Stating they were there to make sure the Apprentice ascends to the honoured rank of Knighthood. The day when Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Hopeful and Initiate was alone while being held captive after a pirate raid, had died. It was also the day when the Jedi were lost to him forever. And now that he was among them again, it revived the torment in his soul tenfold.  
  
If anyone had been watching, they would not have dared to approach the wretched sight before them. The anguished cries of a tortured spirit reverberated through the empty room. Empty like the husk of a boy thrashing out to dull his pain. Tears pouring down the youthful face mixing with the sweat of his labour. But the most frightening of all, was the splash of blood from the torn knuckles of his hands, clashing with the tan textured hide covering the post. Limbs exhausted and numb from the constant abuse, pleaded to cease the subversion, but he didn't care. He wasn't about to let up. He wanted to feel the glorious sensation of nothingness; at least then it didn't hurt anymore.  
  
At last, his fist slid off the punching pedestal due to the light coating of blood, and he fell to the floor, beyond haggard and vacant. His tired arms and legs shook uncontrollably. Obi-Wan rested his head against the bottom of the object of his contempt. But he knew deep down that it was himself he despised so venomously. Finally, giving into the despair desperately wanting to surround him, he wept. Gasping sobs escaped him that he could do nothing to stop. In the middle of his desolation he looked up to the ceiling through blurry blue-green portals and screamed, "Why Force? Why did you punish me?"  
  
His gulping sobs slowly eased to hissing catches of breath. His sense of time had been completely distorted due to his episode, so he had no idea how much time had passed. The trembling of his body also began to calm and his wounded side protested his choice. He moved to appease the tender tissue when he felt a hand softly touch his shoulder.  
  
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Thank you everyone for reading!! : D Please don't forget to review. And I already knew that the end would be a horrible cliffie, but if you really, really, want to you can let me know how bad it was for you. ; ) Let me have it!!  
  
remnants-2011 - Thank you very much! I'm glad you are enjoying it. : D  
  
Ciria - Ahh, my favourite review. ; ) I'm glad you liked the 'tenderness' shown in the last chapter. I hope the emotional rollercoaster was good for because the ride's not over yet. ; ) We have a LONG way to go. Just remember Obi has a number of other people he needs to talk to. The Qui conversation was so easy to write I couldn't believe it. I wish everything else I'm working on could have come so easily. Oh well. I liked a lot of that section. It all just seemed right to me. And I'm glad you liked Tola too. I think we'll be seeing a bit more of some of the young initiates soon. We still have to get off the planet and get back to the Temple. So we'll see what happens between here and there. ] : ) Mwahahahaha. Ah-hem. Sorry. And I have other plans for Obi's situation as well. So hold on and we'll see what I have in store. ; )  
  
Heidi M - I'm glad you're a little torn between the Jedi's reaction and Obi's. I was going for a different dynamic in this story, attempting to show true to life emotions as best I could. I think everyone has a tendency to be a bit selfish when it comes to their emotions and that's what I wanted to convey. As I have written these chapters I have strived to place myself in their minds, and come up with their reactions as best as I could based on what I knew of their characters. I think I have managed to capture some of that in my writing. If I'm wrong please tell me so. And thanks for letting me know. I really appreciate it! : D  
  
grab-ur-lightsaber - I'm happy you are enjoying that site. I have to admit I like it a whole lot. [face_love] As soon as I can get my own website up, I'll let everyone know where you can go for OTA. ; ) As for Qui's conversation, The Force, eh? You never know. ; D BTB, what does TRSJLNJD mean? I'll probably figure it out after I post but please let me know. Thanks. :D  
  
Shan - My co-conspirator on this little venture. I can not express how much I appreciate your input. I really do. ; D I'm glad I could fix that one part and make it more to what you thought. I know it bothered me as well, but you were able to point out what I needed. Thanks. And go ahead and leave as many reviews as you like. After all sometimes you think of something to add or comment on later. And I can't wait for that confrontation, but it also worries me too. I just hope I can pull it off. Thanks.  
  
ashley - Awww, thanks. I really appreciate it. :8} I hope this was just as good.  
  
Ewok Kid - Thank you very much!! : D I like those parts too. And they were great sections to write, too.  
  
Sinister Papaya Fondue - Wow!! :8} Thank You!!! : D I'm flattered.  
  
JCslilangel1425 - Thank you so very much!! :8} I'm really enjoying writing it. Hope the rest keeps you entertained.  
  
Liyanette - Yes, soon. But I don't know when exactly. I'm taking this slowly so that I can really show their thoughts. Hope you don't mind. ; ) Thanks! : )  
  
Artemicion - :8} Awww, Thank you from the bottom of my heart. :8} You are too kind. You don't need to beg. That's my job. I'll strike a deal with you. You review and I'll keep posting. Does that sound reasonable? Let me know. ; )  
  
Death Rider - LOL, I think there might be more mental anguish down the road. Afterall, we haven't even gotten back to the Temple. ] : ) Thanks again!! : D  
  
Culf - Oops, my bad. ; ) I didn't realize you were such an ANAKIN fan! *ducks from swing* I'm just kidding! Han was most definitely the OT hottie of the Series but Ewan can also bring on the charm. Every time he smiles in the beginning of Moulin Rouge I *melt* myself. *sigh* Heck anytime he gives that grin, I fall over. It's so hard to watch SW sometimes because Obi/Ben is just so stern. But I have always liked the character of Obi/Ben long before TPM it's just nice to put a young handsome face to his past. ; ) But , um, I don't think it would be very Jedi like to have a scapegoat if what they do turns sour. But that's just me. I do have an idea of how things might work out, but you'll just have to wait to see what happens. : p  
  
Meggie - Would the puppies like a cat to play with? I'll give them mine if that will make them happy. "Nice puppies, what can I do that will make you like me? I hope this post will tide your master over for a while. And just remember I like dogs. : D" Thanks!! 


	7. Chapter 6: Conviction of Melancholy

Chapter 6: Conviction of Melancholy  
  
"It's funny that way, You can get used to the tears and the pain. What a child will believe, You never loved me.  
  
You can't hurt me now. I got a way from you, I never thought I would You can't make me cry. You once had the power, I never felt so good about myself." - Oh, Father (Madonna - Like a Prayer)  
  
Slowly, Obi-Wan turned to see who had found him. To his own astonished amazement, he immediately threw his arms around the figure and buried his face in their shoulder. Rekindled tears soaked the cloth, but to his delight, arms came to return the embrace. Together the two hugged each other, tightening and relaxing to reassure the other without words. Their embrace held for what could have been hours to them. It was only when he registered softly spoken words that he withdrew again.  
  
"I've missed you so much," the Padawan admitted. She felt Obi-Wan stiffen when she spoke and the abrupt detachment. Her heart ached when she saw the emptiness that remained in the blue-green gaze of a tormented soul. In that moment she wondered if her coming was the right thing to do.  
  
But the need to do so, was so hard to ignore. When Siri had come to inform them he was awake, they were already aware of his flight. The turmoil he experienced was overpowering to all Force-sensitives. He apparently was not conscious of the fact his emotions were being broadcast through the Force. At first, the group had tried to ignore it, but soon found it was impossible. The deeply rooted pain that lived within Obi-Wan began to affect the young initiates, causing some to cry their responding grief.  
  
After some time had passed, Tola approached the Padawan and touched her hand. Tears glistened in the little girl's eyes when she stared into the large silver one's of the apprentice. Quietly, she leaned forward and whispered, "He needs you." It was all Bant needed for her to do what her heart was already commanding. She hurried from the room in search of the source of sorrow that swelled through the ship. The emotions were so powerful, that she could not use the Force to locate him. In the end, it was the sickening sound of vicious punches and anguished cries that allowed her to find him.  
  
When she entered the Rec Room, she had to stifle the cry that wanted to escape her. Although, by the looks of things, he probably would not have even heard her if she had. The misery in each swing was crushing to the spirit, and she could not imagine housing it. She didn't know how anyone could have survived while retaining the melancholy that poured off her old friend. Her heart almost shattered when his fist slipped and he slumped against the post. Yet she still could not force herself to move any closer. Only after he had crumpled to the floor was she able to command her legs again.  
  
Cautiously, she made her way to the wretched form of her friend. And with as much care as she could muster, she touched his shoulder. To her joyous surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and cried on her shoulder. The reaction was not what she expected but it was definitely not unwelcome. How she had missed the bright laughter, the charming smile and the quick wit of her remarkable friend. She knew he had some rough spots, afterall, everyone had flaws of some kind. But she always believed that his were minor. The rivalry between him and Bruck was the biggest obstacle, and it had cost him dearly. Their last fight prompted the Council to send Obi-Wan to Bandomeer, and in turn into the hands of the pirates. And it had disgusted her when they cast him aside so easily.  
  
How much he had changed since then. Obviously, he was taller and donned a maturing face, but there was still a hint of innocence in the features. His spikey ginger hair had grown into the flowing locks that he deftly used to hide his troubled gaze. Somewhere, deep down in the gruff exterior lived the promising initiate she always knew. But she also knew the purity that was Obi-Wan had been tainted by the dark forces in the galaxy. To ignore or overlook the errs would be disastrous. Instead, she allowed her presence to be a comfort for the wounded soul and gave him the time he needed to readjust.  
  
After long minutes had passed, his gasping sobs eased and she felt it safe enough to talk. No more than a whisper, she said, "I missed you so much." For a moment his muscles tensed and he stopped. Then he extracted himself from her hold and backed up against the post. Pulling his knees up to his chest, Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around his legs. He rest his forehead against his folded arms and retreated back in to himself. Bant could sense his withdrawal and tried to stop its advancement. "Please. Please don't leave me again." Straining to hear him, Bant edged closer.  
  
Obi-Wan never raised his head and his rugged voice was muffled within the folds. "Alone."  
  
Suddenly, Bant was awestruck by how much one word can hold. From the moment she had been told of his death, that was exactly how she felt. But Garen and Reeft were there with her, feeling just as empty when they stared at his vacant seat among them. Now she realized for Obi-Wan, that feeling had been there from the moment he stepped out of his room at the Temple for the last time. That it had been a part of him for so long, without any reprieve. She didn't know what to say to ease the torment in his heart. She watched him for a while longer before she realized, "You don't have to be. If you let us." Slowly, Obi-Wan lifted his head enough for her to catch his gaze through the caramel strands. Even softer than before, she pleaded, "please."  
  
Obi-Wan tried to tramp down the anguish that thrived on his suffering, as he glanced up at Bant. He was so confused and lost and his emotions were in such chaos, he didn't know how to accept the offer. His heart desperately sought the friendship that they had so long ago, but his mind rebelled, attempting to protect itself from false hope. She must have seen the desperation in his eyes, because she spoke again.  
  
"I can't tell you everything will go back to the way they were, or I would be lying. And I can't tell you that I know how you feel because that would be a lie too." The Calamarian moved closer and placed her hand on his forearm. "But I can tell how much we missed you." Tears rimmed the large bulbous eyes and threatened to fall. "I hoped and prayed that somehow you were still out there somewhere. That someone had made a horrible mistake." Her voice hitched and she fought to regain control, "And when I saw you, I can't tell you how much I wished that my prayers had been answered. But when you confirmed what I only dared to dream, I - I can't even describe what I felt."  
  
Obi-Wan had turned his gaze from the Padawan and stared at nothing in front of him. "I've dreaded that moment."  
  
"Why?" She gently squeezed his arm, hoping that it would convey how much she wanted him to explain.  
  
"I died." He stated simply, but Bant knew he wasn't finished. A heavy sigh escaped him, before he went on, "My life was ruined. My dreams crushed. My humanity ripped from me. I was nothing." Unconsciously, he pulled his legs in tighter as if to protect himself from the memory. "Pain." Another shuddering breath broke free, and he paused trying to find the right words. "I didn't want to be found. Didn't want to be reminded of things before. I was afraid." His voice softened as he spoke, drifting lightly on the calming waves of emotion.  
  
"You didn't have to be afraid. We would have helped you, we would have found a way." The Padawan tried to reassure the distraught countenance. Obi-Wan nodded slightly and Bant was lost at what else to say. Instead, she moved to hold his hands, but stopped when her eyes caught the raw knuckles. Immediately, she rose from her spot and crossed the room. Entering one of the small fresher units, she found a small bowl and cloth to cleanse the wounds.  
  
Careful not to spill any water, she knelt down in front of the rogue and set herself to once again take care of him. She dipped the cloth into the cool basin and wrung out the excess. Gently, she took his hand in hers and washed away the blood. Looking at the swollen hands brought back the tears to her eyes. It broke her heart to know that he could only deal with the pain by causing more. Neither spoke as she worked and when she was finished they could barely tell the difference.  
  
Obi-Wan watched her take care of him as she often had done while they were initiates. The rolling emotions still swirled around him, but he felt oddly dulled. As if for all the emotions were dancing around him while he stood still in the middle, and for the first time in a long time, he felt at peace. A small grin formed on his lips and he was truly happy that he was able to achieve that moment, if it was only for a moment. But it was also a rueful smile, as he knew it wouldn't last. In fact it was only the beginning of torment he would soon be forced to endure.  
  
Vaguely, he became aware that she had finished, and he glanced down at his sore extremities. The reddened skin burned when he clenched his fists. But he was still grateful for her tenderness and care for him. He reclined back against the post, determining what he should say. Finally, he offered the only thing he could, "Thank you."  
  
Smiling, Bant replied, "You're welcome." She then rose and took the basin and cloth back to the fresher. As she was walking back, she spotted a locker that had a workout tunic folded inside. Remembering the bloodstained shirt that he now wore, Bant grabbed it. As she drew nearer, Bant motioned for him to rise. Once he stood in front of her she held out the shirt. "Here."  
  
Shyly, Obi-Wan glanced down. The browning blemish caked onto the soft tunic, and he was embarrassed to still be wearing it. In addition to that, his exertion caused the light material to cling to him. He desperately needed the change and nodded his thanks. Gingerly, he removed the soiled shirt and turned to place it on a shelf behind. As soon as he turned he heard the sharp intake of breath. Shortly after, the gentle touch to his shoulder came. Turning back, he found the Padawan crying freely, as her gaze glanced over his back and torso. He couldn't help the shame he felt from her knowing gaze. It was almost too much for him.  
  
"Oh, Obi. I'm so sorry," the young apprentice whispered. She wanted to say more, but his brusque movements to quickly cover up and hide the history written across his body, stopped her. He had turned away again and she thought she lost him. To her relief, he responded.  
  
"It wasn't your fault." Obi-Wan quickly wrapped the white tunic around him, knowing it was already too late. His admission only added to the defeat he felt. "It happened right after I had been taken. And continued until Drrov was killed." Getting frustrated with himself due to his carelessness, Obi-Wan tightened the red belt, to keep his tunic closed, angrily. It was all too much, too much information to be dealt with, on both sides. Emotional chaos, physical suffering and the broad spectrum in between could not be conferred into simple words.  
  
The Calamarian withdrew her hand when she felt his anguish, but could not shake the image of his scarred body from her mind. Stripes and gashes crisscrossed his back and chest. Some seemed as if they went deep into the tender tissue. Some of the vicious lines appeared to cross over others, revealing multiple beatings on top of older unhealed punishments. For the first time in her life, Bant knew genuine anger and hate. She despised those who could strike out against a child, and not just any child but her beloved Obi-Wan. Hated those who could a bright spirit and drive it into the darkness. Loathed those who could vanquish a pure soul and beat it into submission.  
  
Sensing the rage bubbling beneath the surface, Obi-Wan diffused her tension. "Don't be upset. I no longer felt anything during that time."  
  
"Oh, Obi. You should not have had to face such pain." Bant found it remarkable that despite everything that happened to him, he thought of her.  
  
"It doesn't matter," he said, dissuading her concern from something that could not be corrected. "That was a long time ago."  
  
In an effort to comfort, Bant placed her hands on his shoulders and her cheek rested against his back. "But it does matter, Obi. It matters to a lot of us." The Padawan realized just how many this new revelation would effect. Most definitely, Garen and Reeft would be happy to hear that their long lost friend was in fact alive. She also knew of a few other Padawans that will also be glad of the news. A number of the Masters that were still teaching would be ecstatic to find their prize pupil returned. But to her, the one who would be the happiest to see him brought back to the Temple would be Yoda.  
  
She had noted the slight change in the tiny green Master when he informed them of Obi-Wan's apparent demise. Over the past five years, she watched as he tried to hide his sorrow. Bant had not realized how much the petite Jedi cared for her friend until they learned of his fate. As a Padawan, she has had many instances when they sat alone and talked. On the bad days, they would talk about how they missed him. And on the good days they would recount anecdotes. But somewhere deep inside, she felt that the small Master also held that nagging feeling that Obi was no dead. Neither ever spoke it aloud, it was just a mutual understanding they had.  
  
The apprentice was about to tell him exactly who his welfare mattered to, when hands grabbed her shoulders and ripped her away. Everything happened so fast that she was not fully aware of what was going on around her. But she knew that it was not good.  
  
As soon as Bant was torn away, Obi-Wan began to turn to find out what happened. Before he could learn anything a fist spun him back around and knocked him to the ground. When his mind cleared enough to register the floor and get up on hands and knees, a boot crashed into his wounded side. Forcing the boy to cry out and fall back down to the floor.  
  
Suddenly hands were on him, pulling him back up and restraining him. Punches repeatedly contacted with sore muscle and sparks flew across his vision. Vaguely, he was aware of Bant screaming for whomever to stop the assault. His mind reeled from the maelstrom encircling him. And for some minutes he was transported back in time, when he did not want to feel anymore. And secretly begged for release.  
  
Bant struggled against her captor but could not dislodge herself. To her utter shock, she watched as two crewman attacked a non-resisting Obi-Wan. What also disturbed her was that they did not sense their approach. Apparently, the emotional overload in the Force masked their senses. Her own touch with the Force was tentative and she could not concentrate long enough use it to now. So she did what she could, "Stop! Stop it!"  
  
They ignored her for some time as they kept up their assailment on the rogue. Only when they tired of their task did they let up. The crewman holding back Obi-Wan's arms (needlessly) released his hold and virtually threw the boy to the ground. Clutching at the hard floor, Obi-Wan battled the pain bombarding him. Red coughs escaped the beaten form.  
  
From behind, Bant cried, "Why are you doing this?"  
  
The crewman who had taken it upon himself to deal out the punishment turned back to regard the Padawan, "Stay out of this little girl. This doesn't concern you."  
  
Braving the consequences, Bant rebuttaled, "He is under Jedi custody, so this does concern me."  
  
Turning back to the downed form, the man grew angrier. He kicked the rogue while he spoke, "So you think you can hide under their protection! They can not save you from justice."  
  
"You can not do this!" Bant exclaimed, hoping they would cease this perversion.  
  
The man wheeled around on the apprentice about to strike when he stopped himself. He knew that hitting a Jedi would only create problems for them. "Do not interfere again, or I may not be able to guarantee your safety."  
  
"Leave. her alone. Your. fight. is with . me." A pain-filled voice said. Obi-Wan was struggling to get up. He only made it to his knees when the man bounded for him again. This time however, the man grabbed at the boy's tunic and yanked him up.  
  
"Oh yes, murderer, my fight is definitely with you." The man glared into the dilated sea-change gaze of his captive.  
  
Returning the glare, Obi-Wan dimly placed the man in his memory. It was the unconscious pilot in the bridge. Suddenly the man's accusation registered and he stared up questioningly, "I.don't understand."  
  
The pilot pulled the boy closer, "Three months ago, a ship called Koska. Do you remember?" Something passed behind the blue-green portals and the man took it as a yes.  
  
Behind him, Griven heard the tentative voice of the Jedi, "What happened?"  
  
The pilot never removed his gaze from the boy, but he answered in a tone that revealed his deadly intentions, "It was raided, wasn't it pirate? By a group of Togorians. But eye witnesses also mentioned a human among them." Griven paused as he pressed Obi-Wan against the punching post. Daggers were clearly visible in the pale blue gaze of the crewman. "I wasn't the first pilot in my family. My father was one and so were my brothers. Do you know the name, Kiiv Griven?"  
  
Obi-Wan shook his head, but he could already see where this was all leading. He braced himself for the coming storm as the man continued, "You should. He was a pilot on the Koska. The one you killed!"  
  
Obi-Wan heard Bant's gasp and felt the guilt stab through him. Before he realized what was happening, he responded to the charge, "It was an accident. We do not wish to harm anyone and any loss of life is regrettable." The rogue's head snapped to the side and he could taste the familiar wash of iron in his mouth.  
  
"Regrettable?! Was it regrettable to his wife? Or how about his children?" The man barked as his fists swung out again.  
  
Obi-Wan didn't struggle, didn't fight. In his mind he deserved every punishment he got. In fact, he did remember the raid on the Koska. They had rounded up most of the passengers, only a few resisted. Among them were a number of the crew. There was a brief blaster battle that took place before they were defeated. After gathering the remaining captives one produced a small personal blaster and aimed it toward the Togorian leader. Before he could even think, Obi-Wan had pulled out blaster and shot. His intention was only to wound the man but he underestimated the gunner's speed. The bolt caught the man full in chest.  
  
He remembered how the light behind the eyes dimmed as the life drained from him. The moment he fired, he wished he hadn't. The part of him that was still Jedi treasured all life, which is what compelled him to stop the murderous raids. They had gone for over a year without a casualty on either side and this was worse because it was his fault. His tortured soul peered through the raging oceans up at Griven. "If it's justice you want, then take it."  
  
Bant's eyes swelled with tears. The raspy voice of her friend reflected his defeated spirit. Her mind screamed, It's not fair! Not fair! She could not let this happen. Even if he no longer had the desire to live, she couldn't stand by and watch him get beat to death. "NO!" she cried in her desperation.  
  
Another crewman came up to hold Obi-Wan's arms back. The feral grin on Griven's face could send chills down a back, but Obi-Wan remained passive. The other crewman held back the distraught Padawan, as the pilot prepared to take his revenge. "That is exactly what I intend to do boy."  
  
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Now please, please, please, please, please, please, don't forget to review!!!! I'm worried that I'm dragging this along, so please tell me what you think. I'm really looking to improve my methods on portraying emotion so you need to tell me how I'm doing. THANK YOU!! : D  
  
JCslilangel1425 - Thank you very much. : ) I hope that you liked the emotional aspect within this chapter. I' still not so sure about it.  
  
Liyanette - I hope this was soon enough for you. And I hope to have the next chapter done before Christmas. ; )  
  
Banshee Fay - Aww, thanks. I'm glad you decided to leave a comment. They mean a great deal to me. So if you get the chance again please leave me another one. I would appreciate it. : D  
  
Ewok Kid - I hope you liked what I have in this chapter. And, if you can believe it, there's more on the way. ; ) Mwahahahaha ] : )  
  
Rieyeuxs - Thank you very much!! : D I'm so glad you are reading!! And I'll do my best to not keep you waiting too long. ; )  
  
Ciria - Ahh, my dear. : D Oh, we are in for a ride! ; ) ]: ) I'll deal with the whole planet/ship thing soon. Just have to rap up a few things before we can concentrate on that. And I'll see what I can do to bring more of the Togorians into the mix. I have some plans that I think will work out, but we'll just have to wait and see. I'm glad you liked the conv with Siri and Obi. Yes, Siri has some issues, which were prominent in the JA books, and I wanted to bring that into the story. Awwwwww!! :8} Thank you so very much. : D That scene was the scene that made me write this fic in the first place. When I first read the PB by Shanobi, I had that scene play out in my mind. And when I see something so clearly I know I have to get involved. So, I cared for the PB and raised it to become this story. I'm just so happy that so many seem to be enjoying it as much as I am. : D  
  
Heidi M - Yes, our Tuuvu does care for his cub. And I really wanted to bring a sense of realism to this. I often try and figure out how people react to children that have been taken from parents or given up for adoption, and then suddenly the parents are back to claim their child. The emotional chaos that is created is something I can only guess at, but I think that is somehow reflected in this. Thank you so much. : D  
  
Artemicion - Alright, the deal has been struck. You review and I post. ; ) And if I don't get a review, I will have all my other readers hunt you down. ; D Naw, I'm just kidding. I won't have them hunt you down. I'll just take longer between posts. ] : ) Thanks for reading!! And I hope I can keep your interest on this epic journey. : D  
  
Death Rider - Thank you with all my Heart!!!! : D : D : D You have no idea how much I appreciate your comment! : D I am an avid reader and now author of Obi-Torture so if I can fulfill other people's needs for OT, I am so happy! : D I need OT almost as badly as I need food, air and water. And I am so pleased when I can provide it to others out there like me. So, thank you. : )  
  
Meggie - Wow! I'm flattered. And don't worry, even though You might have lifted my updating limitations, I have not. ; ) I am trying to get at least one update weekly, which has always been my goal, it just depends on my muses. Each one demands my attention at different times. And I cannot resist their demands. And I am really enjoying writing this fic, so if I stop, I'll hurt myself. ; ) As for the dogs, that was my intention. ; ) And I really, really appreciate your comments. : D Thank you!  
  
grab-ur-lightsaber - Glad you liked it. I'm hoping to get another chapter of 'Catch me' up soon. Just so you know. And I appreciate you reading both stories. ; ) I'm really excited that you were able to get into the characters. That means a lot to me. And I'm also glad you told me what that meant. I don't think I would ever have gotten that. ; p And I'll give you updates on the website whenever I can. Thanks again! 


	8. Chapter 7: Appealing a Verdict

Chapter 7: Appealing a Verdict

__

"I thought I saw a man brought to life

He was warm, he came around like he was dignified

He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn't be that man I adored

….Illusion never changed

Into something real

I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

You're a little late

I'm already torn" – Torn (Natalie Imburglia)

At first, Qui-Gon had been frustrated with his current assignment. Walking through the dense forest for possible danger only kept him from staying with Obi-Wan and working things out. Adi's stern glares told him that protesting would be futile, so he had followed her during their trek. But as they ventured through the foliage, the Living Force soothed his tension. 

For a while, neither spoke as they walked. They were busy sensing their surroundings for possible threats. Amazingly, the forest seemed serene even with the teeming indigenous life scurrying through it. The flora perfumed the air with a sweet and inviting smell. Before long the tall Master gave in to the tranquillity beckoning him. Occasionally, pausing to examine a bloom closer. 

Pausing yet again, he glanced up at the warm yellow sun above. There was moisture in the air that reminded him of a planet just after a summer thundershower. The richly filled atmosphere could touch a soul with such a gentleness that it only forced the exasperated Jedi into the tranquility he did not seek. Sighing, he had lost himself in the beauty that surrounded him when Adi came up beside him, "I am pleased that you were able to find peace again, Qui-Gon."

The large Jedi regarded the Councilor for a moment before responding, "It was not what I was seeking at the moment, Master." He sighed softly while examining a vibrant lavender orchid. "But it is what I needed."

"The Force is greater than all of us, Qui-Gon. It knows what you need even if _you_ don't agree with it." For a moment the firm woman took her time holding the same purple bloom Qui-Gon had been looking at. 

Qui-Gon returned his attention to the woodland around him. "I don't sense anything threatening in these woods."

Adi considered the Knight as she too took in the wield surrounding them. "No, nothing that could be considered dangerous."

"In fact, Master, it is quite the contrary. As if the forest itself emits serenity. Perhaps if we could spare some time we should bring the students out here to meditate." Qui-Gon honestly believed that the students could benefit from a world bountiful in the Living Force. He also wished for his beloved Tahl to share this beauty with him. 

In that instant he felt his heart constrict, and a sorrow cast down upon him in the shadows of the wood. This was the first time in five long years that he had the first real sense of peace in his heart. Ever since he had learned of Obi-Wan's apparent demise he had felt incomplete. Shortly after Obi-Wan's death, he had run into Tahl again. For a time, he felt alive when he was around her but the vacancy still nagged him in the back of his mind. And when she wasn't there, the emptiness could almost swallow him whole. He had always believed that it was because Tahl had not been in his life constantly. 

It seemed the Council also recognized the change in the Jedi Knight, because they sent him on missions with Tahl and her Padawan more frequently. Yet during most of the missions he shared with his life-long friend, the feeling of emptiness remained. However the sensation seemed to dim somewhat whenever he was with her. That was when he asked the Council if he could move his apartment next to hers. And that he be allowed to share her missions and duties on a regular basis.

In the beginning, it was rough working out Tahl's teachings with Bant and their relationship to each other. But things eventually worked out. It was only now, that on rare occasions that either would be sent on a separate mission. And they were both able to teach Bant about many things in the Force. Tahl had told him recently, that her only concern about the Calamarian Apprentice was the inclination towards healing methods. Neither she not Qui-Gon were skilled healers and she was going to speak with Bant within the next month to determine if the young Jedi would be interested in special lessons taught by a professional Healer. 

Qui-Gon concurred with Tahl's reasoning. They had both often wondered why Bant had been blessed by the Force with such a loving heart and delicate touch. And for a flash, his memory brought him back to the room when they were treating the boy's wounds. He had seen the concern in her large bulbous eyes. And he knew instantly it was not the first time the young girl had cared for Obi-Wan's injuries, big or small. 

The Force planned for her to be there for him, the lost student, as she had been in the past. Planning and manipulating the universe to it's grand scheme. Setting each person on the course to his or her destiny. Plotting the significance of fate to guide it's chosen to the purpose it had planned. Suddenly, a realization hit the Knight; Obi-Wan was _special_ to the Force. Feeling lightheaded, Qui-Gon placed a hand on the trunk of a tree to steady himself. The weight of such a profound recognition was almost crushing to the man.

Adi noticed the man's distress and came up beside him. "Are you alright?"

At first, Qui-Gon had not even heard the Master. When her words finally registered, he straightened himself up and pushed off the tree. "Yes, Master. I am fine." 

Regarding the taller man for a moment longer, Adi began to move along. "Well, let's get back to our patrol." It was then that Qui-Gon felt a creeping anxiety slowly edge up his spine. He simply nodded as they worked their way through the forest. Gradually, their pace increased in correlation with the steady rising of disquiet that filled the air. 

**

Carefully she followed the Padawan, her curiosity had gotten the better of her judgement. The drowning emotions in the Force made it easy for her to mask her presence with very little effort. She watched as the older girl turned down a corridor. Vaguely, she could hear the sounds of what she thought was someone working out. As she grew closer, the grunts and soft cries of a shattered spirit echoed through the hall. When she reached the doorway, the scene that she was greeted with was more than just disturbing.

Immediately, she recognized Bant standing only a few paces in front of her in the room, obviously shocked into stillness from the sight before them. The human pirate was beating his pain into the punching post. Each sickening smack made the young girl cringe. And the waves of anguish emitted from the crushed soul rolled over them. Forcing them to be drug down into the undercurrents of misery, leaving them gasping for air. The two females remained frozen during their emotional struggle to regain some semblance of composure.

At last, when his hand slipped and he slid down the pedestal, they mirrored his slide to the ground. They were so transfixed by the pain and misery that permeated the room, that neither could force themselves up to comfort the distraught form. It seemed like ages had passed when Bant finally managed to gain her footing again. The young girl watched as the Padawan approached the pirate. To her amazement, the pirate encircled the Padawan when he saw Bant there.

The quiet moments during the embrace made the apprentice's whispered words that much louder. _"I missed you so much."_ And suddenly, the girl realized that the two had been close friends before the events that led them here. But the comforting words seemed to drive the young man away. Something trembled in the Force, like there was a shuddering as it was being closed off from something. _"Please. Please don't leave me again."_ And the clenching sensation stopped. 

There was a moment delay as she struggled to hear the young man. _"Alone."_ She could not believe how much one word could carry. But to her it was as if the word held a century of meaning, transcending the simple definition to reflect something much deeper and older. Her own heart ached in response to the admission.

Slowly and with much care and thought, the two spoke to each other. The Padawan doing her best to comfort and soothe a distraught rogue. The young man, trying to convey the wealth of information about his current life and past without revealing himself too much. Touched by the Calamarian's attentiveness to the corsair, the young girl watched as his wounds were cleansed and he was provided a new tunic. 

But nothing could prepare her for the ugliness of plain animosity. When he removed his soiled shirt and moved to place it down, the vicious scars were clearly visible. A hand quickly rose to cover her gasp. Her young mind reeled at who could have inflicted such pain to one who could only be in their teens. The marks were undoubtedly old but she could not tell how long ago the punishments were dealt. 

In her classes, they were often taught about the evil and wickedness of some cultures and people. But a life in the Temple is a sheltered one and initiates were usually protected from seeing it. Nauseated, she turned away to gather herself back up when she heard the clicking of boots coming down the hall. Worried that it was one of the Masters, she glanced around for a place to hide. She saw an indent in the bulkhead and darted to press herself in it. She pulled in what Force she could to add to her concealment. 

She listened as the small group came closer and stopped outside the Rec Room. "I told you I saw him running through the hall," a crewman declared. 

"I didn't doubt your eyes, Maad. I just can't believe that we had not been informed of his capture." Griven replied, slightly stunned to confirm what his fellow shipmate had said. 

"He doesn't look like he's a prisoner, Mort," another crew added. 

"No, he doesn't. Maybe we should apprehend him." There was a sinister tone to his comment that frightened the young initiate. She could hear them move into the room. Her heart was pounding in her chest and ears. Then the chaos began as the group beat their prisoner into submission and Bant cried out frantically, pleading for them to stop. When they paused for a few minutes, the youngster managed to gather enough courage to approach the doorway again. 

Her legs almost buckled under her when she saw the bloodied form of the young pirate. Tears welled in her eyes, at the sight of the agony he was in. It took a few more moments to register their conversation. _"It was an accident. We do not wish to harm anyone and any loss of life is regrettable."_ The young man's tone reflected the torment in his soul. 

But anger answered his sorrow, driving it further down into the abyss of despair. _"Regrettable?! Was it regrettable to his wife? Or how about his children?"_ The little initiate flinched when the rogue was struck again.

Unable to contain her tears any longer, they fell when she heard his reply, _"If it's justice you want, then take it."_ Her hand grabbed at her heart and she took a step back in disbelief. The young man had accepted his fate, even welcomed it. She heard Bant scream out what she longed to voice. She knew that this conviction was wrong. But she didn't know what to do. Then the thought struck her, _Qui-Gon!_ Quickly, she fled down the hall to locate the only man she believed could stop this revolting judgement. The last thing she heard was the man saying, _"That is exactly what I intend to do boy."_

**

The sense of uneasiness grew into a consuming anxiety until something in the Force finally snapped. Both Masters stopped abruptly and stared at each other. "Something's wrong." But Qui-Gon almost had not heard her as he took off toward the ship. As they drew closer to the downed vessel, the feeling of pain and an overwhelming despair crashed into them. It was as if they could hear the desperate cries of someone faltering out in a deep ocean. From the shoreline, they ran into the crashing waves to rescue the drowning soul. But with each trudging step, the raging waves slowed their progress. 

They could see the captain helping his crew and rushed up to him. He must have heard their hurried approach because he turned to greet them. "What's the matter? Have you found something?"

"Is everything all right, Captain?" Adi asked huskily, their quick return left them huffing for a moment. 

His brow furrowed in confusion, "As far as I know, Master Jedi. Do you sense something?" 

In response to his question they heard a young voice call from the hatchway, "Master Qui-Gon!! Master Qui-Gon!!"

The trio ran around to meet the youngster. Adi was surprised to see the young girl alone, "Tola, what's happened?"

Tola ignored the Councilwoman and ran straight for Qui-Gon. The tall Knight felt his heart begin to race and he feared the worse. "What's wrong, little one?"

Catching her breath, the young girl managed, "Bant…. The pirate, …. Obi-Wan …. Attacked.… Help please." Qui-Gon did not wait to hear more. Dashing inside he sought out the source of the problem. Tola kept up with the large man very well, staying right along side of him. Subconsciously, she led the way to the Rec Room. But once they got close enough to hear the sounds of flesh meeting flesh, the Knight burst forward.

When he entered the gym, Qui-Gon quickly drank in the scene. Bant was screaming and struggling with her captor to stop the beating. Two crewmen surrounded Obi-Wan, one holding his arms back and the other punching the rogue relentlessly. To his dismay, Obi-Wan looked barely conscious and apparently did not even struggle. Before he knew what was happening, he had come up behind the crewman and grabbed his arm as the man swung out again. "You will stop, sir." The commanding tone did little to hide the roaring anger underneath.

Startled, Griven looked over at the man who denied him his retribution. Slightly breathless from his exertion, Griven responded harshly, "He is a criminal, Jedi. And I am his executioner." He was about to pull his arm away when he gave a startled cry. The Knight crushed the man's forearm in a vice-like grip until they heard bones creak. 

"I say again, you _will stop_." A hard cerulean glare met the anger-pained pale blue eyes of the crewman. Once he knew his point was made, Qui-Gon released the arm in his hand and thrust it back toward the man. Next the Knight turned to look at the man holding Bant. The Padawan was released instantly. He then turned to glare at the man holding Obi-Wan. "Let him go." The man's gaze narrowed before he withdrew his hands and raised them in surrender, a malicious smirk on his face.

Without support, Obi-Wan abruptly slumped to the ground and let out a weakened cry. He was a mess. One eye was puffed to a sliver and his bottom lip was swollen and cut. His chest and ribs begged for relief. His vision blurred and spun around him, causing a nauseating dizziness. He had hoped that the crewman/executioner would have finished him off already, but that had not happened. His punishment ended before the last blow could be dealt and his body suffered for it. With death there was no pain, no despair, no false hope to deal with. Only eternal calm and darkness. But he would take the darkness over the red fire of agony that now lapped at his being.

Vaguely, he became aware of Bant's presence. The Padawan had rushed to his side as soon as they let her go and was now trying to assess his condition. When she placed a hand on his arm, he let out a soft moan and her heart skipped a beat. The captivating blue-green eyes were barely visible due to the wide dilation. Yet the pain in them was clearly readable. Bant glanced up at Qui-Gon with worried eyes.

"What is the meaning of this Mr. Griven?" Captain Lessik demanded from his pilot. He and Master Gallia finally made it to the Rec Room. Tola clung to the doorway hoping that the lynching was over. The older man strode in confidently, showing the commanding nature that led him to his position.

Griven tried to salvage the last of his dignity by manipulating the facts. "Captain, we discovered this pirate roaming the ship. We were in the process of capturing him…"

"Capturing him?" The Padawan asked incredulously. "You mean beating him to death." The Calamarian had glanced up at the pilot when she heard his feeble explanation. Now, she added, "Which was totally unnecessary because he was already in Jedi custody."

Griven could not tolerate being admonished by a mere apprentice, quickly turning to shoot a warning glare at her. "_He_ is a criminal!"

"_You_ are an animal!" Her silver eyes returning the harsh look. She couldn't stop her own tormented heart from blurting out her thoughts. In her apprenticeship, Bant had witnessed enough cruelty to know pure vengeance when she saw it. Since the raid, her world had turned upside-down and back again and her heart could scarcely take anymore. Her dearest friend had suffered so much over his life and this did little to remedy that. 

Lessik stepped into their line of vision to break up the verbal fight. "Please, please, stop this pointless bickering. It will not get us anywhere." The Captain regarded each one for a moment before settling on his co-pilot. "Mr. Griven, from what I can see, it appears you have taken it upon yourself to administer punishment to one who did not deserve it."

Unable to believe what he had heard, Griven took a threatening step toward his commander. From what he could gather, his Captain was agreeing with the Jedi, and that rubbed him the wrong way. "What?! He is a thief and a murderer!" 

"A thief he may be," Fen admitted, "but what do you mean a murderer?" This new allegation piqued the newcomers' interest.

Griven took another step forward as he uttered through clenched teeth, "He killed my brother, Captain." The large pilot rubbed his arm continuously.

Disturbed by the ferocity of the allegation, Qui-Gon could read some truth into what the man claimed. However, he could not believe Obi-Wan could have killed anyone. He demanded, "What proof have you to back this accusation?"

The pilot spun to stare down the tall Jedi. They were almost the same size and were easily able to look each other in the eye. Advancing toward the Knight, his eyes narrowed and an evil smirk graced his features. "He confessed."

The Padawan could not stand the manipulation of truth and immediately voiced her opinion, "But, he said it was an accident."

"Like I care if it was an accident. My brother is dead!" barked the angered crewman. For an instant, he shot a deadly glare at the Padawan before returning to burrow the Knight with his fury.

"Mr. Griven, that does not give you the right to attack someone, no matter who they are." Lessik stepped into the path between his crewmen and the Jedi Knight. Fen knew that the Master could single-handedly take out his men without even lifting a finger so he thought it wise to intercede, "We are a civilized people and this action will not be tolerated. I want you, Mr. Maad, and Mr. Chuss to return to your cabins and wait for me to contact you."

The self-proclaimed mercenaries protested, "What?! You can't be serious! This is outrageous!"

But the Captain stilled them with a hand. "We will discuss the penalties for such misconduct later. Now get out of here." Griven motioned for his companions to leave and amazingly, complied, but before he left he stopped for a moment in front of his Captain and a longer moment in front of Qui-Gon. Once they were gone, Lessik went to Qui-Gon. "I am sorry for my men's behaviour, Master Jinn. I had no knowledge of this."

Qui-Gon's voice trembled with agitation that he was still trying to retain. Somehow he managed to remain polite in his response, "I know you didn't, Captain." His gaze moved from the doorway, from which the trio left, to the Captain and then down to Bant checking on Obi-Wan. At the mere sight of him, Qui-Gon felt that this had been partially his fault. He knew he should never have left the boy alone, that there was still so much that had to be worked out. But he was overruled and forced from the young man's side. Now he wished he had fought harder. "But I can not help feel that this could have been avoided." He turned toward the Councilwoman with a hard stare. She sensed his growing anger and looked up to meet it head on with her usual calm exterior

Easily slipping into the Council Member role, she responded matter-of-factly. "I had no way of knowing that some of the crew would react like this. Nor did I suspect he would have left his room this soon." She knew exactly what Qui-Gon implied by his last remark and she would not be the blame of this situation.

"That matters little now, Master." The deep cerulean eyes flickered from the turmoil within. In all truth he was still trying to determine whom he should lay blame; Adi, Griven, Lessik, or himself. His voice gruff from emotion, "I should have been with him." Slowly, his gaze drifted downward, "but since I was not, I have to accept what has happened." Suddenly, his tone hardened and he looked back up at the Councilwoman to reveal a new conviction, "But this will not happen again, Master. I will see to it."

The stern visage knew that this had gone too far. They all needed time to work out everything that transpired over the past few hours. And the emotional charge that electrified the interior of the ship had overpowered even the best of them. She had to stop it here and now. "Qui-Gon, you can not allow your personal feelings to take over your judgement."

The Knight was quick to react, "Do not patronize me, Master. I know what the Force has commanded me, and you should be supportive of it's will."

"Do not jump to conclusions too hastily, Qui-Gon Jinn." Her tone becoming heated in response to the accusation, "You already know the consequences to such actions."

Qui-Gon knew precisely what she was referring to, but he just could not let himself fall from the Force's graces again. If it was the will of the Force that they should be together, then he would not leave the young man's side. "I will be staying with Obi-Wan until we return back home to the Temple. If you have a problem with that, you can address it with the Council after we return."

The two Jedi Masters were locked in a contest of wills. Fen Lessik had been a Captain for many years, and even after the debacle of his crewmen, he knew the passion that drove men. What he saw displayed in the large Jedi at the moment told him of a bond, a link, a connection between the Knight and the wayward pirate. It was a reflection of the kind of passion a father would have when protecting their child. Unable to curb his curiosity any longer, Lessik asked tentatively, "Is he a relation of yours, Master Jinn?"

Finally, breaking the standoff, Qui-Gon regarded the Captain for a moment before answering. "No." That part of the reply was easy compared to what he was about to convey, "But he should have been …. my apprentice."

And by that admission, everything suddenly became clear to the Commander. He realized that this perplexing young man, that had become the center of their world, had been a Jedi. And not just any Jedi but apparently one that these particular Jedi had cared for and knew well. It explained how the rogue had known so much about the passengers. It explained how the Knight had known the boy's name in the bridge after they landed. But most of all, it explained why they all cared so much what happened to the young man. 

When Griven and his henchmen left, Tola moved in toward the Jedi for protection. She didn't trust the crewmen anymore, so she kept her eye on them as they exited. Once they were gone, she watched as the Masters argued. The dispute had taken her by surprise. In the short span of her life at the Temple, she had never ever seen a Master get angry. It was always something that they taught would lead to the darkside and the emotion had always been frowned upon. It was almost shocking for her to see Bant become curt and the two Masters fight. 

Still remaining silent in the background of the scene, Tola also heard the man's confession. Being a Jedi initiate, she understood more than the Captain. It's a constant desire for a young initiate to want to be taken as a Padawan. Now she was curious as to what happened between the Knight and the pirate that prevented them from teaming up. Her lilac gaze dropped to fall upon the beaten form of Obi-Wan. A soft gasp escaped her as she whispered, "Bant."

The Mon Calamarian had stopped her examination when she heard Qui-Gon and Adi argue. She had seen some debates between her own Master and the Knight. But this was the first time she witnessed a Jedi defying a Council member openly. Despite the fact the Adi Galia was a Jedi on a mission with her own Padawan, it was always hard for anyone to ignore the fact she was also a Council member. In awe of the bravado Qui-Gon had in challenging Adi, she did not notice the change in Obi-Wan's condition until Tola spoke. Glancing down, she could easily see it now. His skin was clammy and ashen, he trembled slightly and his breathing was shallow and quick. "Oh, Force. He's going into shock! We must do something quickly."

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Thanks everyone for your patience! I really, really, appreciate it! Don't forget to submit a review if you have a moment. I look forward to hearing from you all. Thanks again for reading. And if I make any updates to this chapter, I will try to let you all know. ; ) Sorry about any formatting issues, I saved it as an HTML file because I was lazy. *blush* 

meere – Thank you very much. Glad you are enjoying it!

Liyanette – Thanks. I am endeavouring to really keep the angst going. ; )

Ewok Kid – Gosh, thank you, thank you! I really appreciate you saying so. I just hope I don't disappoint anyone. I have a lot planned and am anxious to get there, but I don't want to rush things. I'm trying to keep the integrity I have going with the racing emotions and steady progress. Hope this was good for you. 

remnants-2011 – Sorry for the delay. I hope this was a good chapter. I know I was not entirely happy with it but I didn't want to keep you all waiting anymore.

Saint – Well, I am a charter member of Obi-Torture Anonymous, so it wouldn't be proper for me to write a story without some kind of Obi-Anguish. ; ) 

Lighted eagle – Is it as good as 'From the Ashes, Grow the Roses'?? I hope the next chapter will not take as long to write, but that also means, I need to kill DRL to ensure that. Oh well, keep your fingers crossed and thanks for reading and reviewing!! : D

Banshee Fay – Thanks, this is my 'Emotional' fic. I really like emotion and wanted to see how well I could get it out. Glad to see that I'm doing a decent job. : D

Heidi M – Thanks, And it's funny, so many people worry about Original Character Mary-sues, my problem is that I feel more like Obi than my OC's. So I find it very easy to get 'into his head.' ; ) Um, sorry, but I don't there will be a scene like that in here. But I hope you won't be disappointed with what I do have in mind. Thanks for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate your thoughts. : D

grab-ur-lightsaber – Wow, tanks, I will treasure this award by giving you all more wonderful cliffies! ; p I'll post that next chap to 'Catch me' today as well. : D You have no idea how much your kind words mean to me. I have been going through a rough time recently, with my own emotional struggle, and have often wondered if I should even bother continuing. It's one of the reasons I crave feedback so much. But when I see that my efforts are appreciated I realize that I might be missed if I simply disappear. Thanks for letting me know I'm wanted. It means the world to me. : D

Peggy – Aww, thanks. I just hope I can keep it up. Thanks for reading and reviewing! : D

Culf – Well, I thought so too. His char plays too the side of us that wants to be daring and dangerous outside the 'law' so to speak. But I have to admit, I have always been fond of the Obi char since Alec Guiness. The sad way he's had to live, his self-sacrifice to allow the others to escape and then now his hardships in getting to the status he was as a Knight. To me Han is great, but Obi is just a part of my heart. I can't help it. I feel very in tune with Obi, and I guess that's why I like him so. (And it's not just Ewan's influence, although it did help. ; ) ) Thanks for reading and reviewing!! : D

lillian jinn – I appreciate you taking the chance on reading it. And I am most definitely happy that you are enjoying it as well. Thanks for letting me know, I appreciate it! : D

JCslilangel1425 – Yes, I am a cliffie master!!! Ahahahahaha. ] : ) OH, um, well, I wanted to make sure you came back. ; ) And yes, our Obi is realizing much, but it's even harder, because of what has happened in his life. The others have kept on living a Jedi life, but he has become someone else. The turmoil between what he wants and what he is, is what is happening now. And I don't that will be ending for some time yet. ; )

Meggie – I wish I could have gotten this chap up by Christmas, but DRL is a vicious person. I hope it was worth the wait. And I've already begun working on the next chap so hopefully that will not take as long to post. Thanks for reading and reviewing!!! You know how much I love it. ; ) : D

Sinister Papaya Fondue – Oh, The song quote is from the Song 'Oh, Father' which was sung by Madonna and was one of the songs on her 'Like a Prayer' album. I have a habit of putting the song title and the artist along with any additional info such as album, when I know that too. Sorry for the confusion. But I appreciate you letting me know. 

Ciria – Awwwwwww!!! :8} Gosh, thank you so very much!! : D LOL, yeah, I wrote 'Ashes' too. : D That was my other baby. ; ) But now this story has taken precedence over everything else I'm doing. That was put under a different name as a experiment and it proved something to me. But that's a whole other story. Now for the story, yes, Bant and Obi have always had a connection of some kind, almost like a brother and sister. As for Yoda and the rest, nope. They have no idea he's alive yet. That will be something for another chapter, once comms are back up. ; ) OH, yes, there will be a meeting, not just with Yoda but others as well. Just something for you to keep in mind. I just hope I can live up to any expectations that are set from my mentioning it. It was a twist that I knew no one would expect but something I had planned since like chapter 2, so I've really been anticipating that chapter and the reactions I would get. : D And don't be too hard on yourself, there were plenty of other people who didn't see it coming either. ; ) I'm sorry for the delay in posting but I hope it wasn't too disappointing. Thanks for giving me your wonderful thoughts, and I look forward to your review. : D

Shan – I hope it wasn't too horrible. I know I didn't like it all that much, but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. You have such wonderful insight and I have come to value it! : D Wow, I'm the Angst Princess, I'm so touched. : _ ) *sniff* I have to say, I really enjoyed writing chapter 6. I don' know if I'll ever get any better. But I have that at least for me. Chapter 7 was a little tougher to get out, but I hope it wasn't that bad. Yeah, I really wanted people to be off guard when the attack came, I'm just so happy I was able to accomplish that. : D Yes, it was either stop the gunner or watch as Tuuvu was shot, and who would not attempt to save their 'father' or 'mother'? And don't worry, I agree with you. Obi is second to no one. ; D Thanks again for everything!!!! : D : D : D

Artemicion – Don't worry, I haven't mentioned our bargain publicly, Yet. ; ) So no one will be chasing until then. Sorry for the delay in my posting, but I hope it was too much of a let down. Thanks again for reading and reviewing!! : D : D

Death Rider – LOL, a person after my own heart! : D Maybe you should join Obi-Torture Anon too. ; ) I'm sorry this one wasn't so Obi filled but that it still managed to keep your interest. I'll try and do better next time. Thanks for reading and reviewing!! : D I really appreciate it!! 


	9. Chapter 8: Picking up the Pieces

Chapter 8: Picking up the Pieces  
  
"I hang my head and I advertise  
  
A soul for sale or rent I have no heart, I'm cold inside I have no real intent  
  
Save me, save me, save me I can't face this life alone Save me, save me, save me I'm naked and I'm far from home." - Save Me (Queen - Greatest Hits)  
  
"Captain, we have located the ship," Grruun informed his commander. "It appears to have landed on NMerra. From what I've been able to scan, they are in one of the large forests. The sparse settlements are not anywhere near them. We should be able to approach from an angle that should hide us, if their sensors are back online."  
  
Tuuvu listened intently to his helmsman, despite his desire to rush through things he needed to make sure he knew what he was getting into. Once the explanation was complete, he stated simply, "Do it."  
  
"Aye, sir." Grruun immediately went to work plotting the course to follow his captain's commands.  
  
Tuuvu began to move around the forward cabin checking systems and preparing himself mentally for what lay ahead. Kuuur had been watching his Captain closely since his entrance. At last he decided to try and persuade the man again, "I still think we should not be risking the crew this way."  
  
Pausing for a moment, Tuuvu glanced over at Kuuur harshly, "I need to know he's alright. I thought you understood that." There was a soft snarl to punctuate his displeasure at being questioned again.  
  
"I do understand it," the First Mate replied. Tuuvu turned to fully face his Second-in-command when he noticed a change in his tone. "It's just I keep feeling like our whole world is about to change. Like the direction of our lives is about to be drastically altered, and I'm not sure if it's for the best." The two stared at each other for a long moment and Kuuur realized that Tuuvu had felt the same thing.  
  
Before either of them could speak again, Grruun interrupted, "We're making our final approach, Capt'n."  
  
Distracted with his primary objective, Tuuvu went back to his preparations, "Good." He directed his next command to Kuuur and demanded, "I want a boarding party ready by the time we touch down. You hear me? I want to get in and out of there as quickly as possible."  
  
Simply nodded, Kuuur left the bridge to seek out those to accompany them. Tuuvu finished what he was doing and moved to watch as they approached the planet. All the while, his thoughts drifted to his lost charge and what condition he might be in. He pleaded with his gods and even the Force, that his worrying was all for not. But his parental instincts still feared the worst.  
  
Within a quarter hour the Night's Scream landed in a nearby meadow to the Zenah. Kuuur had completed his task swiftly. And as the ship touched down, Tuuvu, Kuuur, Mrrogh, Dergh, and Naaur headed out into the forest to find their prey. They did not have to look too hard, as they neared the other clearing. Slowly, they crept along toward the damaged craft. As they got closer they could see a few members of the crew working around the mangled engines. With simple hand movements and glances, they set a plan into motion.  
  
**  
  
Obser headed back to his work. He had just finished talking with his Captain who hurried inside after the Jedi. His offer to assist them was turned down, but he did not mind. Fen was a good friend and an even wiser Captain, he knew that things would be brought under control quickly, if they were indeed in trouble. As he passed by his fellow crewmates, he told them to continue their work as well.  
  
Once again back at his portal, he started working on the circuitry with a fresh mind. He was still worried about what might be happening inside, but he had to put that aside to finish the monumental task before him. He began fiddling with a panel when he noticed something odd about the wires.  
  
Examining it closer he had a sudden thought, one that sent a small shiver up his spine. When he got over the initial shock, he reached for the comm on his wrist. There were only two working comms available on the entire ship and only because of a back-up power source; the one Nev wore and one that Wuan Jeswick wore. It was deemed necessary that the only working communication devices be given to the head engineers in order to coordinate their efforts on the repairs.  
  
It was the other engineer that Nev wanted to contact, "Hey, Waun. You there?"  
  
A muffled response came over the line before clearing. "What is it Nev? I'm right in the middle of something right now."  
  
Obser really did not want to interrupt the Duros while he was working, but he needed to find out if his assumptions were correct as quickly as possible. "Well, I hope it's something you can put down and work on later."  
  
Heaving a deep sigh, Jeswick conceded. "Give me just a few more seconds and I'll be all ears for you." Nev could hear a few bangs and sparks over the open mic. He smiled when he heard a mumbled curse. "Alright, alright. What is it?"  
  
Instantly, Nev sobered up and concentrated on what he was about to do. He closed his eyes to mentally imagine the inner engineering room for the main systems. "I need you to go into the main control panel for the engines."  
  
Wuan did not hide his disapproval. "What for? I did a quick diagnostic on it about an hour ago. Everything seemed fine."  
  
Nev understood his companion's annoyance. He himself always disliked doing something that was already completed. But this time he wanted something else, "I know, I know. But just humor me. Go into the panel. Are you there yet?" He paused, waiting for a response.  
  
"Hold on." Wuan tried to relax, he knew that his friend would not ask something of him without a good reason. He just hoped this was not some kind of wild goose chase. He already had enough work to do that he was afraid to waste any time. Instead, he decided to listen to his friend and get through this as quickly as possible. "Alright. What do you want me to do now?"  
  
Still picturing everything in his mind, Nev directed, "Right, go over to the left and pull out the third circuit board."  
  
Complying, Wuan pulled out the board announcing, "Got it."  
  
Nev opened his eyes and examined the board in his own hands. Rather than just telling the man what to look for, he wanted to see if it was just his imagination that led him to this. He said, "Now just look at it for a moment. Do you notice something odd?"  
  
Annoyance returned immediately to the bluish-green skinned engineer as he asked angrily, "Are you trying to waste my time?"  
  
"No, Waun, just look at it," Nev pleaded.  
  
"I don't have ti.. Hold on. There's an extra fuse in here." Nev nodded even though he knew the man could not see him but remained quiet while the head engineer looked the board over. "Wait a sec, there's more wires attached than should be. This isn't right. Who built this thing?"  
  
Glad to know he wasn't going crazy, Obser chuckled. "Find out where those wires connect to. I believe it is something between these two station points, but I think it's somewhere on your end. And once you've discovered it, contact me. If my suspicions are correct, I think we are going to need to talk to Fen right away."  
  
Wuan accepted his new task. He was just as curious about this puzzle as his shipmate was. "I'll get right on it, Nev, and I'll keep you posted."  
  
"Thanks, man."  
  
"No problem. Jeswick out."  
  
Nev was relieved that Wuan was able to find the other end to his unearthing, but he was now worried about what it all might lead to. Or rather what questions it might leave unanswered. Sighing he decided to check on the progress of his co-workers while he waited for Jeswick's response. He was about to turn around when the world suddenly went black.  
  
**  
  
Qui-Gon held the wrapped form of Obi-Wan close to him. Swiftly he ran through the halls to the medbay of the crippled craft. He knew that his fellow Jedi were right on his heels, but they had lost the Captain. He pushed that to the back of his mind since his main concern was the boy in his arms. The group burst into the small infirmary, startling it's only occupant.  
  
Ja Kohnwei jumped from his desk in response to the intrusion and questioned, "What's the meaning of this?"  
  
Qui-Gon quickly moved to lay the shivering form of Obi-Wan on the nearest medcouch. The young man had passed out earlier right after they learned he was in shock. "Help him," he stated firmly.  
  
The Doctor moved over to the cot and recognized the pirate immediately. "I don't understand. How.?"  
  
"We have no time for explanations, Doctor. Please, you must help him." Qui-Gon pleaded with the man to bypass the normal need for inquiries and just start working immediately.  
  
Understanding the fervor in the baritone, Ja immediately went to work on the young man. His years of expertise as a healer were obvious, because he had prepped and stabilized Obi-Wan before they realized what he'd done. Once he knew that everything was in place, he turned to Qui-Gon. "He'll be alright. Now can you please tell me what's going on?" He noticed that his Captain had come in during his ministrations but now he needed to know why he had helped one of the pirates that had forced them down.  
  
"I think I should begin." Lessik announced before anyone else could respond. "Despite his previous behaviour that landed us here, this young man piloted the ship down when Mort was injured."  
  
The healer glanced back at the youth and then looked at each person that surrounded the small room. Two Jedi Masters, an Apprentice and a young initiate stood waiting. Vexed by this new revelation, he pressed, "Why is he still on board?"  
  
"He stayed behind when his ship broke off," Qui-Gon stated. His fervent gaze bore into the Healer.  
  
Ja understood the meaning behind the stare and went to his cabinets to withdraw a basin and some cloth for bandages. As he retrieved the items he continued, "That doesn't make any sense. If he knew the ship was going down, why would he stay behind?"  
  
"He was injured prior to the explosion, a blaster wound." Adi added.  
  
Qui-Gon jumped in overriding Adi, explaining, "He knew he couldn't make it out, so he stayed. Then he came to the bridge and guided the ship down."  
  
"If he only had a blaster wound, what happened to him? He looks like he's in about the same condition as the this ship." He brought over the basin and cloth to start cleansing and dressing the wounds. Before he could do anything, the Padawan picked up the items and started doing it herself. Slightly taken aback, he simply stood behind watching the Apprentice tend to the rogue.  
  
Lessik replied to his question with a heavy heart. "Mort, Maad and Ain attacked him." The healer nodded slowly knowing how much this must have upset his friend. The Captain had always believed his men to be good people. And now he has discovered that some of them had a darkside. If someone had asked him only a few days before, if his men were capable of such a despicable act, he would have denied it wholeheartedly. But now, with the evidence laying on a medical table, Lessik did not know what to think about his crew.  
  
A soft sniffle could be heard in response to the Captain's words and Kohnwei looked over at the young Jedi initiate. The tiny teal haired girl had been helping the Padawan. She seemed more like an observer than someone who might have been involved in this whole mess. But when she sniffled, Kohnwei knew she had witnessed the ugliness that landed the young man in his ward. He had seen the horrified look of watching an innocent suffer in thousands of others. He remembered those days, when war thrived. Shaking away the memories he stared at the young women. For a moment, the Calamarian paused her task to hug the girl close to her as they shared in their sorrow. Kohnwei could see the tears welling in the large silver eyes as well.  
  
The Medic knew Jedi cared for all living beings. Defending those who could not do so themselves and sacrificing everything for others. He was amazed at how much the Jedi seemed to care for the pirate. Suddenly, realization dawned on the healer, "He was a Jedi, wasn't he?"  
  
The two girls glanced up and hugged each other tighter. Qui-Gon, who was standing on the opposite side as the girls, stretched out a hand to touch the boy's arm. He too, looked toward the healer with a protective glance. Only the stern visage of the woman remained indifferent, but the crew had learned quickly that it was rare that she display any change of emotion, so he was not surprised. Yet by gauging the occupants' reactions, he guessed he was right.  
  
"You are very attentive," the Councilwoman regarded the healer thoughtfully. "It is true he was once a Jedi, but we had thought him dead."  
  
Ja considered this new information for a few minutes. "This is not what you expected, is it?"  
  
"No. We did not think it possible to find him again." Adi replied.  
  
He noticed that the two young Jedi were no longer holding each other and nearing completion. So the Doctor moved back toward his cabinets. Retrieving some Bacta bandages, he came up along side the Knight. The tall man barely made room for him as he came up to the couch and Ja saw that his hand still rested on the rogue's arm. The soft touch seemed to speak that this wayward youth was very important to the Knight.  
  
The young man was still sleeping as Kohnwei applied the bandages to the various cuts and nastier bruises. While he worked he looked the boy over. The light workout tunic was spotted with blood. His soft ginger hair appeared matted from perspiration. The smooth skin on his face made the pirate look like he was a young child, not at all like a vicious criminal. Thinking back to the raid, he realized he never did get a clear look at his face, deftly hidden beneath the copper strands. He just seemed so innocent right now that Ja couldn't imagine why anyone would do him harm. A little more curious now, Ja asked, "So why did Mort do this?"  
  
"He said that Obi-Wan killed his brother." Qui-Gon did not lift his gaze from Obi-Wan this time.  
  
Regarding the man for a moment, Kohnwei could see the regret hidden behind the cerulean portals. Not fully understanding why that emotion was there, the healer ignored it. Instead, he recalled a day months ago when Mort Griven had come to him with the news. Often times, when they were out in space, Kohnwei doubled as a confidant as well as healer. "I remember hearing about Kiiv's death. Is it true?"  
  
Remorsefully, Qui-Gon admitted, "It is possible, but we can not be sure."  
  
Finishing up with the last of the scrapes, Kohnwei thought aloud, "Doesn't sound like something a Jedi would do."  
  
"No, but there is much we have yet to learn since our discovery." Oddly enough, it was not Qui-Gon who responded to the man's outspoken thought, but the Councilor. Kohnwei stared at the woman for a while trying to figure out what exactly that meant. For some reason he believed that it was not meant to imply just the recent event, but something on a much deeper level.  
  
Everyone was so lost in their thoughts that it was surprising to hear a new voice cut through the quiet, "Why didn't you let him finish?" The voice was subdued, rough and painfilled. But the soft seachange eyes gazed up at the tall Knight.  
  
Before anyone else could say anything, Qui-Gon scooped up the youth's hand and knelt down beside him. Tenderly, he said, "You know we could not allow that to happen."  
  
Taking a deep breath despite the protest of his body, Obi-Wan whispered, "I deserved it."  
  
"I do not believe that to be true." The steely determination underlining the compassion of the man's voice.  
  
Even softer than before, the young man admitted, "I wanted it." His gazed turned up to peer at the white ceiling.  
  
"Please, Obi, don't say such things." Bant pleaded with her old friend. It broker her heart to hear such things come from the most precious being to her. The past few hours had been trying for all of them. But his undeterred desire to end his life in such painful ways ripped at her soul.  
  
There was so much that still needed to be said but they never got the chance. Just then the door opened to the small infirmary and a tall man with dark skin and deep red eyes in a grimy overall came rushing in. Immediately he scanned the room and found who he was looking for. Dashing up to his captain he blurted out, "Fen, thank the gods I found you. We have a problem."  
  
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OH MY GOD! o_O I posted the wrong version! I had a revised version of chapter 8 that was slightly different from what I originally typed up. It was so late last night and I was trying to get all the responses added that I didn't bother to check what version I pulled up. I'm so annoyed with myself right now, that I'm going to take myself out back and shoot me! ARGH!!!!! Anyway, here's the revised chapter!  
  
I know this was a bit shorter that I usually do, but please be patient. Well, by like half a page anyway. Sorry for the delay in posting. With the new format, I couldn't log in to post from work. So I had to finagle some time to get it up from home. Thanks again everyone for reading! : D  
  
Ewok Kid - I enjoy writing the sections with Obi and Bant. I look forward to do more. And Tola has become an interesting char for me. I wonder where it might all lead to. Honestly, I have no idea. Qui's always been a bit harder for me. For some reason, he's the hardest char for me to figure out. All the others I have down pat. It kinda irks me. *sigh* oh, well. 'Always in motion the future is." And it's even the same as in fan fic. I can't wait to find out what's in store. : D  
  
Liyanette - LOL, yeah, they weren't very nice. But not always are things as they seem. I'm not a very good suspense writer so please forgive me. But I will do my best. ; )  
  
JCslilangel1425 - Yeah, I think that's where he's going to right now. At least at this moment in time he is having trouble looking beyond now and giving up on everything else. I don't think any of us could deny having the same problems. Think about all the teenagers that commit suicide. (not that Obi is necessarily suicidal) They cannot seem to look past the temporary problems and find a permanent solution. But we all go through these ups and downs at times, some have a harder time than others to over come them. His life has been twisted back around on itself not once but twice. And in only a five year span. Most people take years to recover from even just one event going wrong. He just needs time. Let's hope he gets some. As for Qui, he has to determine what his motivation is and if it's truly what the Force wants, or mere coincidence. Well, thank you very much! *blush* I'm overjoyed that you loved this chapter. I hope to continually gain your approval. I have so much more planned, that I'm itching with anticipation to get it written and posted. And now I've set my sites higher, I want to be a Cliffie Goddess! : D  
  
Artemicion - "You beat up Obi, You bastards!" Uh, sorry, couldn't help it. If you want I could loan you one of our lightsabers to beat up Griven and crew. ; ) Thank you! : D I hope you like what's coming up.  
  
lighted eagle - Again, I'm sorry for the delay. Well, I don't think I'll be finding the answer to that question out for a very long time. This story has a long, long way to go before this "chapter" is even done. I feel like I'm still at the very beginning of an epic journey. I just hope you're all willing to join me. I might try to break it up just a little so it's not incredibly cumbersome. But Even when we get to where I want to 'end' this 'section' of Obi's life, I have more ready and waiting to be written out. Thanks for reading. :D  
  
Ciria - As always, I look forward to reading your thoughts. And you give me so much. :D Thank you. Yes, I in a sense. It was also more or less to try and help me. I have always struggled with Qui's char. For some reason I just can't get into his head. Maybe because my own personal emotions and outlook is so similar to Obi's that I'm just as confused when it comes to the Jedi Knight. *sigh* Let's hope I'll get him better as the story progresses. You will realize that this is AU, and I will use it to my advantage. In the JA books, there was a time when Qui and Tahl were possibly going to 'get together.' Since the events of Bandomeer ended up so differently, I believe in the ripple effect. Because Qui needed someone to ease his conscious he would eventually turn to Tahl. As such, their choices and journey would be different. In this timeline, they ended up getting closer and accepting their love for each other. But Qui was still missing a part of him. And he and Tahl know it. Obi has to fill his heart and take over the place that Xanatos was in. Well, I hope you liked what I did in this chap. I know it's still some set up, but what I have planned I hope you will really, really enjoy. Yes, Tola was a little spy, but I'm glad she was. It's truly funny, when I originally began this fic, I wasn't really planning on developing some of these 'minor' characters, but little by little I have gotten into their history and really worked out who they were. I still don't know exactly where they will end up, but it will be fun find out. Yes, I must admit I am enjoying playing the part of the Force, but even I don't know exactly what comes next, so even I get curious with what the 'Force' has planned. Well, I wanted Griven to say something short and to the point and that's what I came up with. So that's the second line I really liked out of this story. The first being, "If it's justice you want, take it." I am pretty sure Obi did kill the guy, but we'll have to wait to find out for sure. And I'm glad you thought the song fit. I sometimes wonder if they make sense for what I have planned. I know I think they do, but that's just me. Thanks again! :D I always appreciate it.  
  
Heidi M - Thanks. :D Sorry you didn't have a lot of time. But I appreciate you giving me a quick note. ;)  
  
Meggie - I know, I think it's the healer in Bant that drives her to protect her friends. And AHHH!!!!! I'm sorry I'm late. It wasn't entirely my fault. FF.N did this new update thing and I couldn't update from work. So It took me a bit before I could get this chap posted!! Please, please, please don't releease the dogs!! *runs behind Obi for cover*  
  
Culf - No, not looks alone, but I can't deny that Ewan didn't boost my interest quite a bit. I have to admit, Ewan is an exceptional actor, and I pity the fact that Lucas does not use him to the best of his ability. Instead, Ewan's performance as Obi-Wan sometimes feels stale, in comparison to his characters in most of his other films. And if you're having a rough time dealing with Renton vs. Obi then I suggest you DON'T watch 'Velvet Goldmine.' I happen to like the diversity that Ewan does when he takes on these various roles. I look forward to seeing his up coming movies. But for some reason, I don't really have an issue watching one char to another. I think it's like watching Harrison Ford in SW and then Indy. They have similarities but they are really different. I know it's somewhere in the back of my mind that they are one and the same, but I don't really think about it when I'm watching. Still, I love the char of Obi because I relate to him so well. In so many ways, I feel akin to his spirit. I guess I wish I could have found Obi on earth, although my husband is a wonderful man. And I can't imagine life without him, but still I wonder.  
  
grab-ur-lightsaber - That's ok, I don't like Qui much either. He always seemed to me so eager to pick up and deal with all these other beings, but when it came to Obi, he just gave him enough to survive. Maybe that's why I can't get in his head, because I can't understand how anyone could treat Obi so differentially. OH, and I understand completely. I was already considering that, and when I first read your review, I took it as confirmation. I hope you liked what I had instead. But don't think it's all over, because it wouldn't be a proper Obi story if he didn't have to struggle. ;) Honestly, I love the passion I have in most of the chars. I think it's what makes them more real to us. Most of us have some kind of drive to push us along our path. I thought it would be great to bring that into the SW Universe. I should be posting another chap to "Catch me" soon. Cross your fingers and thanks for all the support. : D  
  
Melissa Jooty - Thank you very much! I have enjoyed exploring this possibility to it's fullest extent. And it's nice to see Qui experiencing the guilt he so willing placed on Obi so many times. And I have a lot in mind for that meeting. I just we can all last until then. Thanks again for reading. : D  
  
Death Rider - I officially name you a member of 'Obi-Torture Anonymous!' And don't tell me, how can it be anonymous if we know who we are and such. It started as a mock on Alcoholics Anonymous and escalated from there. I hope this wasn't too boring for you. Thanks for reading. ;)  
  
Dark Jedi Girl - Thank you! :D  
  
Militargrl - Would I be a cliffie master if I left it other wise? ;p Thanks for reading! :D  
  
jedi7 - I hope you do last, I don't want to lose any of my readers. It would make me very sad. But thank you for the wonderful feedback!! :D  
  
Ziptango - Wow! Thank you very, very much! I still feel like an amateur though when it comes down to writing emotions, which is partially a reason I wanted to write this fic in such a way. I wanted to practice. Thanks for taking a chance in reading this and letting me know you liked it. I really, really appreciate it. :D  
  
Shan - Thanks again for all your help. I have some more to show you, but I don't know if I should yet. I'll e-mail you and ask you about it. I do enjoy a good cliffie. And I know it's hooked me on more than one occasion. I guess it's only fair I use it on others. And you're still too kind. I am trying to keep up my schedule, as long as FF.N decides to cooperate with me that is. I don't know how much more I'll put our lovely Obi through right now, but I'll see what I can do. ;) And don't worry about anything. We all have our own thoughts and ideas. That's what makes us all unique. I think it would be very boring it we didn't challenge each other all the time. And good luck yourself, with 'Going Home'! Talk to you later. ;D  
  
jedilittlebee - Thank you very much. I'm glad you are enjoying my 'little' story. ;) As for forgiveness and the difficulties about it, I have a few lines in an upcoming scene that mention that very thing. But it might not be for another chapter or two. I know the format thing is a bit frustrating. I've had this chap done for a few days now, but have been unable to get it up until now. And don't worry I will e-mail you and let you know I updated. Please don't forget to keep reviewing. I appreciate any and all feedback! :D 


	10. Chapter 9: Bargaining Life

Chapter 9: Bargaining Life  
  
"There's a candle burning in the world tonight  
  
For another child who vanished out of sight  
  
And a heart is broken, another prayer in vain  
  
There's a million tears that fill a sea of pain  
  
Sometimes I stare out my window  
  
My thoughts all drift into space  
  
Sometimes I wonder if there's a better place" - Fallen Angels(Aerosmith - Nine Lives)  
  
Captain Lessik stared at his engineer, "What is it, Wuan? What's happened?" Startled by his entrance, Fen began to worry. As much as the Duros enjoyed cursing and complaining, he rarely appeared upset, and at that moment the man was frazzled.  
  
"Nev. The others." And the Duros shook his head, he didn't know where to begin.  
  
Now the Captain was frantic, he had left his men outside when the young initiate came running for Qui-Gon. He had even turned down Nev's offer for assistance, believing the Jedi could handle the situation. Worry lacing his tone, he begged for answers. "Did something happen while they were working outside?"  
  
Jeswick replied quickly, blurting out what he wanted to say in short spurts, "No, not exactly. Nev found something and he contacted me. Told me to hunt down the source then call him back. Well, I found it and tried to comm him." He stopped now, because he wanted to make sure Lessik understood what was going on.  
  
Still somewhat perplexed, he urged, "Then what?"  
  
"He's gone sir." Wuan stated simply. He glanced at Kohnwei, when the healer looked up. Lessik continued to stare at his engineer searching for an explanation. "I couldn't reach him, so I went out to talk with him personally," Wuan added. Carefully, his deep red eyes bore into his commander. "They're all gone sir."  
  
Disbelieving what he heard, he reached out to grab his comrade's shoulders. "What? How?"  
  
"I'm not sure exactly, but I think we're not alone out here." Jeswick didn't have any proof, but he believed that to be true. There were no signs of struggle out there, but he noticed some tools lying on the ground, seemingly discarded. Any spacefaring engineer knew that good, well cared- for tools could mean life or death, and would never discard them so recklessly. Based on what he saw, he knew then that they left without their consent.  
  
Lessik on the other hand was thinking differently, turning back toward the Jedi he questioned, "But I thought you didn't sense anything dangerous." He moved to the end of the sleepcouch in order to glare at the Jedi Knight harsher.  
  
"We sensed nothing," Qui-Gon deferred the accusation. "There must be some kind of explanation for their disappearance."  
  
Displeased with his own behaviour, Fen backed down. Quietly, he admonished his actions, "I should never have left them out there."  
  
"You did what you had to do, Captain," Adi tried to console the distraught commander. She immediately offered, "We will find your men."  
  
Still caught in the abrupt change of events, he uttered, "This is turning in to a full blown disaster. What else could go wrong?" Fen knew he should never have asked the rhetorical question the moment it passed his lips, because fate always had an answer.  
  
A beep emitted from Jeswick's wrist communicator. Everyone stopped and stared at it, for they all knew there was only one reason it would sound. Slowly, Wuan raised his arm staring at the commlink. After a few more seconds, he looked up at his captain. Nodding the man instructed, "Go ahead, answer it."  
  
"Jeswick here."  
  
"I want to speak with the Captain," a gruff voice demanded.  
  
They knew instantly that the person on the other end was not Nev Obser, but they did not know who it was. Only one occupant in the room recognized the voice, and his heart lightened. Immediately, he sat up, ignoring the protests of his body. A sparkle of hope lit the previously somber seas. Obi-Wan pushed through the haze of his mind as quickly as he could. He desperately wanted to call out to his friend. When his mind cleared, he opened his mouth to say aloud the named that played on his lips. The only thing that made it past was a stifled hitch.  
  
Immediately his hand clutched at his throat. The twinkle now replaced by confusion and panic. Frantically, his eyes darted around the room, searching for the cause of his distress. Finally, they lighted upon a hand raised by the Councilwoman. He knew instantly, that she had manipulated the Force to stop him from speaking. Red trimmed his vision as the anger flowed through him. He was about to confront the woman physically, when a hand stopped him. Qui-Gon kept him on the medcouch by gently pressing down on his shoulder. There was remorse in his gaze but there was something growing steadily behind it, determination.  
  
After pacifying the youth, Adi nodded at the Captain. Lessik walked back over to stand next to his engineer. He spoke aloud, "I am Captain Fen Lessik. Who is this?"  
  
Apparently ignoring the question, the voice went straight to the point. "You have something of mine, and I want him back." As soon as the demand was made, they all paused and turned to look at the youth struggling on the medical table.  
  
Both Bant and Qui-Gon could sense the slow rise of tension in Obi-Wan's body. The flux of emotions that flowed through the young tormented body did little to calm his nerves. Elation, agony, hope, despair, anger, desperation each took their turn dancing in the stormy gaze. He had not totally realized how much he missed hearing that voice until they were separated. Now, he would do anything to get back to the caring father figure.  
  
Instantly, Lessik gathered what type of call this was. Bets were about to be wagered, hands were about to be revealed and the Captain decided that he should not expose his too quickly. "What makes you think I still have him?"  
  
"There are Jedi on board," the voice replied knowingly. "I can't imagine that they would allow you to dispose of him." Visual daggers pierced the air, as Obi-Wan looked at each Master in turn.  
  
Lessik glanced between the two Masters, speculatively. Their faces remaining calm and revealing the same conclusion that he came to; their adversary knew a great deal about them. Further bluffing his position, "And you expect me to simply hand him over?"  
  
Coolly, the voice responded, "I expect you want your men back in one piece."  
  
"How dare you make demands of me?" Fen barked, he had had enough of the game and was angered by the threat to his men.  
  
The voice seemed undisturbed by the man's outburst and continued, "One hour, I want the male Jedi outside with my cu.crewman. Or your men will be coming back to you in boxes." And the transmission was abruptly cut off.  
  
As soon as the comm shut down, several pairs of eyes fell upon the tall Jedi Knight. Qui-Gon pulled himself up to full height and crossed his arms. "I will not let him go."  
  
Disbelief mingled with anger inside the bartered young man. His mind argued, Who does he think he is? Obi-Wan didn't want to stay there and Tuuvu had given them no alternative. Yet, Qui-Gon stood obstinate to the shocked glances of those around him. The other Master's hand dropped in amazement to Qui-Gon's statement and Obi-Wan found that his voice was back under his command. He was about to protest the Knight's decision, but was cut off before he could do so.  
  
Enraged by the demand placed on him and his obligations as Captain, Lessik did not bother to display an image of control. Instead, he commanded the Jedi. "Damn you man! I don't care what you want. Take him and bring back my men." Lessik pointed toward Obi-Wan who sat in a shocked stupor.  
  
"I will not let him go," he repeated. He would not be ordered to do anything when it came down to Obi-Wan. He had already lost too much time, paid too high a price for one mistake. The large man would not allow such a thing to recur.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you are?" Obi-Wan forced his way into the conversation, glaring at the man.  
  
Qui-Gon regarded the youth for a moment, after considering what he was going to say, he finally answered, "I have never believed you were dead. I waited for this chance too long to let you go again."  
  
"I am no longer your concern, Master Jinn. Do these people a favour and send me back where I belong." It was a heated and deliberately cutting remark. He could see that his impersonal rebuttal struck a nerve, when a flash of hurt crossed behind the crystal gaze.  
  
Hiding the quick stab of pain when he was addressed as 'Master Jinn,' he stated, "I can not do that."  
  
"I don't believe this," Lessik's hands flew up in frustration and his face flushed with rage at the Knight's obstinate refusal. He understood the boy's reasons to go back, but there was a need to let him go as well. He wanted his men back safe and it didn't matter to him what they had to do to get them.  
  
Watching with growing concern, Adi thought it wise to intercede, "Qui-Gon, you must reconsider."  
  
"I will not let him go." Again stating his denial.  
  
The Captain had enough, he strode right up to the large man and stared him in the eyes. "Listen, Master Jedi. You were sent with this crew for one purpose only, to negotiate with pirates. Now my men are being held captive and the only way to get them back is by giving them what they want. Take the boy and get out there." His tone demanded that there be no further argument and he became even more infuriated when he read the calm defiance in the cerulean eyes.  
  
"I will not let him go."  
  
Adi came and placed a hand on the Captain's shoulder and tried to easily pull him back. The man never deterred his glare, while the Councilwoman interjected, "Qui-Gon, you are not thinking rationally. You have been blinded by your personal needs. You must give Obi-Wan back to the pirates."  
  
"No." Refusing the Council was a major offense in the Jedi Order. Yet even when the entire Council was not present the wishes of any Council member should always be adhered to. Qui-Gon's continued rejection to Adi's prompting was amazing the younger Jedi.  
  
Obi-Wan listened to the entire dispute intently. He knew his future might be decided in this very moment and he could say nothing to stop it. Slowly, the realization sunk in and he began to understand the remarkable predicament he was in. Tuuvu had come after him. At the first invocation uttered through the transmitter, his heart lightened for the first time since they embarked on this invasion. It was astonishing to know that someone cared about him so deeply as to seek him out despite the consequences. Yet even in his bemused haze, the irony of his situation was not lost to him. Five years prior he was cast away from all those that knew him. Now it seemed that everyone was after him. A small smirk curled his lips in response to such a thought. With the smug expression still on his face he added, "It would be wise to hand me over. Tuuvu is very stubborn. If you don't give me back, not only will he kill those men, he would hunt you down until he has me back."  
  
"May the gods and the Force damn you for all eternity, Master Jinn." Fen shouted at the composed Jedi. "It's my men's lives you are gambling away. I don't give a dren about what you want. It is your duty as a Jedi to protect and guarantee the safety of my men."  
  
The Master's words took on a harder tone, "Captain Lessik is right, Qui- Gon. You have to let him go. Now that we know he is alive, we can work to find him again." She tried reasoning with the stubborn man.  
  
Qui-Gon shook his head, puzzled at the fact that they could not accept his decision. But it was not the Knight who refuted the Councilor this time, "No, we cannot let Obi go, we've only just found him." Encouraged by the Knight's boldness, Bant voiced her opinion. She refused to stand by and watch as they simply let Obi-Wan slip through their fingers a second time. But she seemed to back down a little when Obi shot her a warning glare. The sea change eyes held a mixture of accusation and disbelief as well as something akin to betrayal.  
  
Glancing over at the young Calamarian, Qui-Gon offered her a gratified smile for her assistance. Quickly, he returned his attention to those opposing his judgment. "I agree there must be another way."  
  
Adi decided to broach the subject by appealing to his sense of duty. "I know it is our custom to consider all options, but we also have an obligation to this crew. Let him go and bring his men back alive and unharmed. We will need them to get us back to Coruscant."  
  
Lessik appreciated the Master's support, but he feared that they would be having this argument for the entire hour and beyond. They needed to find a resolution, and he did not think the Knight would back down. He was about to make this point, when he noticed Jeswick come up beside him.  
  
Quietly, the Duros said, "Captain, I have something else that I need to speak with you about. I believe it to be vital information." He paused and motioned toward the door in the back of the infirmary. "Perhaps we could step into Doctor Kohnwei's office."  
  
Agitated by the further delay, Fen argued, "Do we have to discuss it now?"  
  
Wuan glanced from his Captain to Adi and lastly, to Qui-Gon. "I think we should."  
  
Sighing, Lessik quickly looked at his physician for approval on using the man's office. At Kohnwei's nod, he conceded, "Alright, but you better make this fast."  
  
Before following his Captain, Wuan addressed the Jedi, "Master Jedi, I think you should hear this as well."  
  
A curt nod told him they accepted. Qui-Gon lingered for a moment, glancing at Obi-Wan before taking his leave. The change in the youth troubled him, but he would have to deliberate about it later. Together the quartet headed into the small room at the back of the infirmary. Obi-Wan started as they walked away, "What about me? We haven't finished our argument?" He was becoming desperate, he wanted to go home. He wanted to get back to those who loved him. And he saw his chances slipping away.  
  
Qui-Gon paused long enough to answer before following the others, "We will settle that later."  
  
The room contained a number of filing cabinets, a small desk and a few chairs. As soon as the door hissed closed behind them, Fen spun around and questioned, "Now, what is it?"  
  
"I haven't told you what Nev and I found," Jeswick stated as he looked at each one in turn. By the tightness of his features, they could tell that this information had been bothering him. The Jedi could also sense the turmoil of emotions that floated beneath the surface.  
  
"Well, what was it?" Fen leaned against the desk in an attempt to calm himself.  
  
Wuan took in a deep breath before he began, "Well, Nev came across some wires while working on a conduit for the starboard engine. He called me to verify what he found. At first I didn't want to deal with it, but once I noticed the extra circuits, I changed my opinion. Nev thought that I would be closer to what those wires led to. And he was right."  
  
Qui-Gon inquired, "So what exactly did you find?"  
  
"A very sophisticated device." Wuan thought back to when he managed to locate the small black box. It was damaged and during his first sweep, he missed the unit all together. But when he did the investigation again, he finally came across the misplaced device. It was only later when he ran some diagnostic test that he learned its purpose.  
  
More interested now, Fen urged, "And what does this device do?"  
  
"From my preliminary examination, it was set there to overload the engine." As soon as he revealed his vital information, he watched as their faces fell. This was indeed something that needed to be discussed now. Even with all their men, was it possible to get off the planet?  
  
Fen was dumbfounded. He couldn't believe what he had been told. Hoping that he misunderstood, he sought clarification. "I don't understand."  
  
"Captain, we were sabotaged." The engineer laid out the plain truth out on the table. To sugarcoat the reality of this discovery benefited no one. "We were never meant to make it to Kashyyyk. From my initial tests, it was programmed to overload the engine and blow it up."  
  
Adi was intrigued by this new revelation. It required more questions than they had answers. "Why didn't it?"  
  
Wuan shrugged but it wasn't because he didn't know. In fact he knew exactly why it didn't accomplish its mission, but that did little to alleviate his worry. "Because the pirates raided and damaged some of the circuitry. It still managed to blow the engine but not with the amount of power it was planned to have."  
  
The Captain was stunned, "It's unbelievable."  
  
Silence filled the room. Everyone was lost in their thoughts, trying to determine what it all meant. As they stood, Adi noted the slight tension in the head engineer's posture. Reading into the body language, she pressed the man, "That is not all, is it?"  
  
Shaking his head, Waun announced, "This ship is going no where."  
  
"Damn." A fist slammed down on the desk, as Captain Lessik lurched up. He suspected that that were true but he still hoped that they would have found a way off this planet. Desperately, he considered his options, "Do we know where we are?"  
  
The engineer shook his head again. "We just passed Ambria before the raid. Our sensors went offline and we have no idea where we are exactly."  
  
"And there's no way to tell if we are near any settlements or anything?" He knew the question was futile, but he had to ask. He couldn't give up entirely.  
  
"No, most of the navigational systems were destroyed during landing. We would need replacement parts that we just don't have." The Duros was completely honest with his Captain. He needed to be, if they had any chance of figuring a way out of their situation.  
  
"Damn." Frustration gripped the commander. He was so awestruck at how quickly things got from bad to worse. Again the room was plunged into quiet.  
  
"Captain," Qui-Gon broke through the reticence. He had mulled over the problem and came up with a possible solution. It was a long shot and he was desperate to keep his lost charge. He posed his idea, "I suggest we negotiate with the pirates."  
  
Lessik scoffed the Knight, astounded by the lengths to which this man went. "This is absurd. I will not risk my men's lives." He had a duty and an obligation to his men, not the Jedi and definitely not the young pirate.  
  
"And I will not give Obi-Wan up," Qui-Gon quickly rebutted. Their gazes bore into each other for a moment. The conflict they left behind hastily resurfacing.  
  
Lessik wanted to argue, wanted to fight this idea, because he knew the motive behind it. But he was also a reasonable man. Rationalization concluded that it was their best option. "Master Jinn, if you plan to negotiate, I suggest that you do just that. Once we get my men back, we can determine what our next course of action should be." His priority to his men came above all other needs or wants.  
  
Adi struggled with the path of thinking Qui-Gon was implying. Finally, she determined, "Captain, I believe Qui-Gon may be right at the moment. We may be able to obtain the parts we need from the pirates in exchange for Obi- Wan."  
  
Qui-Gon explained his logic. "It is obvious that they want him back very badly or else they would not have gone to such lengths to get him. It is still possible for us to bargain with them for the parts we need."  
  
Skeptical of the proposed plan, Lessik demanded that his concerns be considered. "And what of my men? What if these barbarians decide not to negotiate?"  
  
"I will not allow your men to be harmed," the Knight affirmed, squaring his shoulders.  
  
The Captain accepted his terms, carefully he walked up to the larger man. For a long moment he stared into the man's unwavering crystal eyes. At last he added, "I will hold you personally accountable for it."  
  
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Don't forget to REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! I need reviews!!!!! They are a fanfic writer's life's blood!! Always keep that in mind. :D Thank you!!  
  
Please don't forget to comment on changes. I have re-written portions of this chap in order to make it flow better. I hope you enjoyed it. ;) Following comments ar the same. I will post new comments on chap 10. Thanks again. :D   
  
Meggie - Ahahahahaha!! I posted another chapter even before you could review my last one!! :p Just thought I would mention that. ;)  
  
Remnant - Again, I apologize for the posting mishap. I hope it never happens again. Anyway, thank you very much. I hope you continue to enjoy it. :D  
  
Heidi M - Again, I apologize for the posting mishap. I hope it never happens again. And yes, 'another cliffie!' They're just so much fun to write. ;P Yes, Tuuvu is here. ]:D I don't know, I just sit around sometimes and think up names. And if I don't like the ones I have written down, I think up new ones when I need them. And I'm sorry, I'm not so good at Qui- angst. In all honesty, he's the one character I have trouble 'getting into.' His mind is too much of a mystery to me, so I tend to shy away from him. I know, then why do I write JA? OBI of course! :D BTB, was this soon enough for you??  
  
Ewok Kid - Again, I apologize for the posting mishap. I hope it never happens again. And I couldn't find you e-mail to tell you personally. Please forgive me. :( Thank you very much. I'm hoping that I won't loose anyone during this epic. There's such a long way to go. And don't worry too much. I have the next two chapters roughed out, so they shouldn't be too far behind. ;)  
  
Culf - Again, I apologize for the posting mishap. I hope it never happens again. Yes, but that's the great part. With different minds come different thoughts. And that's what I truly find amazing. It's funny, when I was young I didn't even realize Indy and Han were the same person. And then one day it hit me. Then I thought I was a doof. Oh well. Next post. ]:) The confrontation. :D I hope you can hold out.  
  
Ciria - Again, I apologize for the posting mishap. I hope it never happens again. You know as soon as you said the first two words were 'Nev Obser' I realized my error. :( I'm just so mad at myself. *sigh* I guess it just proves how human I am. Dang it! I use my characters fully. Mainly because it's so hard to come up with new ones. Usually when I develop a char I get a name and an attitude. Then I start working on their background. And sometimes I work out other things such as age, species and looks. Do you know I have a page of information on a race and a few characters that will show up, much later, in this fic, detailing species, general looks, gestation/reproduction, and a brief history on how they know a char. The sad part is I am not expecting them to be in the story for more that like a page or so. Maybe a chapter, but that's it. It's just so crazy! And just to make sure you have things all clear:  
  
Captain - Fen Lessik/ Medic - Ja Kohnwei/ Pilot - Mortius Griven/ Crewman with Mort - Ain Chuss/ Crewman with Mort - Tenadden Maad/ Head Engineer (outside)- Nev Obser/ Crewman with Nev - Pev-da/ Crewman with Nev - Riello Quarg (Duros)/ Crewman with Nev - Andon Hobbsbreath/ Head Engineer (inside)- Wuan Jeswick/ Crewman with Wuan - Jaren Tenten/ Crewman with Wuan - Sordin Nalendos  
  
I have them all written down so I know who's who. ;) Some of these people you have not met yet. And I'm still working on all the initiates, although I might not detail them out here. The Confrontation is a-comin'. Next chap I think. I hope it's not disappointing. You were close, I hope this chap kinda explained it. But I'm still debating on whether or not it will get answered in this portion of the story. :p Yeah, half of the crew is older and then half younger. The older guys like, Lessik, Kohnwei, Obser, Pev-da and Jeswick have already seen enough in their life to look at things objectively. And that is the multi-million dollar question, "Who will Obi choose?" And my answer to that is, will he have a choice? I guess you'll have to wait and see. Two more chaps and you all get a hint. :D Well, that was an extremely long response. Sorry to bore you all.  
  
Artemicion - I don't think it was that bad of a cliffie. :p ::giggles:: Stop that!!! I hate being ticklish! I hope this chap wasn't too bad. Thanks for sticking with me. :D  
  
lighted eagle - Ahhh, too many. This has just become my longest fic ever, and like I was telling someone on TF.N, we haven't even gotten to part two!! O_o This story is going to be huge. Let me put it this way. I know where I want to 'end' this portion of the saga, and we have a very, very long way to go. I've actually named this as 'Book 1: Resurrection.' And Book 1 is broken up into two parts; 'Part 1: Righting a Wrong' and 'Part 2: Reliving a Dream.' Just so you know, I've got two more chapters roughly written down and from what I can tell we might be about half way through Part 1. I don't think that answers your question entirely, but does it give you some kind of hint? Don't worry, tell me your thoughts when ever you can. Thanks for sticking with me. :D  
  
Death Rider - I would have to say, keep guessing. I don't think anyone would entirely guess who and why. But I know. ]:) God luck dealing with Qui. And don't you even think of pointing any fingers at me. :p  
  
Shan - As always, thank you for your fabulous assistance on this fic. I cannot express how much your insight means to me. I hope you like what I have done with the chap, since you only had the dialogue. Shhh! Don't spoil anything. ;) Don't worry, I know you wouldn't. :D And thanks for reviewing here as well. I appreciate both sets of thoughts. ;)  
  
JCslilangel1425 - Adventures in Babysitting, huh? I am so glad I never really did all that. I am just not a 'kid' person. Well, I appreciate you dropping a quick note, even if you didn't have time to really say everything you wanted. Just let me know when ever you can. And I am always up for e-mail. ;) 'Cliffies, good!' :D  
  
Liyanette - Well, I hope your 'Update Intuition' is still working! I've got another chap for you! ;) And don't worry, I completely understand. Most of the time I'm lazy too. :D Thanks for the review, and especially thanks for reading! :D 


	11. Chapter 10: Conceited Conversations

** Please re-read chapter 9. I have re-written portions that might not make complete sense for this chap. Thank you. :D  
  
Chapter 10: Conceited Conversations  
  
"Everywhere someone's getting over  
  
Every body cries and sometimes You can still lose even if you really try.  
  
Talking about the dream, like the dream is over. Talk like that won't get you no where. Everybody's trusting in the heart, like the heart don't lie." - All I Need (Matchbox 20 - More Than You Think You Are)  
  
He watched as the group disappeared into the back office. He was about to follow, not wanting to give up, when a small wave of dizziness stilled him. When it passed, he knew it was too late. They were discussing something new and he was forced to wait. Besides, he had a feeling he wouldn't have gotten very far anyway. Instead he thought back to the remarkable revelation he had, whispering it aloud he felt a warmth wash over him, "He's come for me." This friend who had become his guardian was more to him than that. In his heart, the Togorian Pirate was his father, someone who was willing to risk everything for him. The mere fact that there was no guarantee that Obi-Wan was still alive, yet the Captain sought him still, spoke volumes. But the obstinate Knight, Qui-Gon Jinn, wanted to keep him. He wanted to hold onto the youth despite everyone's protests. And Obi's heart clenched from implausible delusion when he recalled how Bant had agreed with Qui-Gon. A wavering voice demanded through gritted teeth. "Why? How could you do this to me?"  
  
Bant could not look at him, her eyes teaming with tears ready to fall. She did not mean for her outburst to be a betrayal. Unfortunately, that's how it was taken. "I couldn't bare to loose you again," she confessed so softly he had to strain to hear her.  
  
Seeing the gentle Calamarian crumble beside him, his anger quickly drained away, leaving the horrible guilt that followed. For a second time he admonished his behaviour, causing his sweet loving friend unwarranted pain. He needed to rectify his cruelty, he thought that maybe if she could see his point of view it would help. "Don't you see? When I was cast aside, I was nothing. No one wanted me. No one cared. But then Tuuvu saved me, freed me and took me under his wing. They gave me back my life when I would have done anything to end it. I love them. They are my family." Carefully, he turned to his old friend hoping she would understand, "Bant, he's come to take me home."  
  
The Temple is our Home! The Calamarian wanted to scream. This was too much. Too much for her heart to take. She had found the one person that meant more to her than anything, had watched him suffer from a blaster wound, watched as he was brutally attacked by crew members and was now about to be taken from her again. She wanted to cry out at the injustice of her life, but that was not something a Jedi would do. Instead, she regained her composure and said, "Happy for you I am."  
  
Upon hearing her twisted words, he thoughtfully regarded his old friend. Slowly, he pushed himself closer to her so that he could look at her directly. He could see the tears trailing down her salmon skin and the sadness that gripped her heart. "Please. Please don't be sad. This isn't the end," he tried to soothe.  
  
"How can it not be so?" Her voice hitched. "You're leaving again." A small hand squeezed hers, and Bant looked down to find Tola looking up at her. The soft lilac eyes were full of compassion for the Padawan. Bant tried to smile her thanks, but wasn't very successful.  
  
Obi-Wan watched the young initiate, it was obvious she cared for the older Jedi deeply. He wished he could do more to comfort Bant. Slowly, he remembered what she had said when they first found out who he was. "At least you know I'm alive and well." It wasn't much, but it was something.  
  
Bant looked back up at Obi. He had changed so much in her mind. As she gazed into his eyes, she noted the hidden pain buried deep within the sea change portals. She wanted to understand, to know what had happened to him and so much more. She wanted more than anything to keep him with her so that she could care for all of his wounds. And she realized she had lied. "I know what I said, but I was wrong. It's not enough."  
  
"You have to accept this. I cannot stay here." His gaze dropped toward the floor.  
  
Quickly, the Apprentice countered, "Yes, you can. It's simple, just say that you want to stay with us."  
  
He snorted. "Why? To be beaten and ridiculed for who I am?" It was meant to be sarcastic, but there was an edge to the comment that turned it into an accusation.  
  
The Calamarian's brow furrowed, but she added with conviction, "We would not allow that to happen again."  
  
"I know you wouldn't." Obi-Wan softened his tone. He believed that she would let nothing else happen to him. And somewhere deep inside he knew she wasn't the only one. "I even know that Master Jinn wouldn't, but."  
  
"Qui-Gon." She interrupted. It was upsetting her that Obi-Wan would refer to the Knight so formally. Over the years, she had come to know Qui-Gon quite well because of their frequent missions. And even though he would never say anything, every time Obi called him 'Master Jinn,' it cut him to the core. She recognized the haunted hurting glare in the blue crystals probably as well as her own Master did. If she could not convince Obi to stay, maybe she could convince him not to inflict the large Jedi with his sharp formality. "You should not be so hard on him. He knows he made a mistake. It's been eating him up the whole time."  
  
Agony hardened the blue-green eyes and he glared at the Padawan. "And my life has been so easy since then. He was my last chance. My last possible hope to become what I dreamed of my entire life. And he rejected me." Old wounds ached within a battered soul.  
  
"He was troubled. It was not your fault, nor was it his."  
  
"Troubled? Does that dismiss all that I have suffered?" His voice quivered from bridled emotions. His knuckles turned white from the tightening grip on the edges of the sleepcouch.  
  
"No, and even though we might not be able to change the past we can learn and grow from it."  
  
"Now you sound like a Master," he laughed. Leaning back, he could no longer take hearing the philosophy that was forced down his throat and choked him when he found it all worthless. "I do not have any Masters now. And I do not want their *wisdom*."  
  
Bant stood when he turned away. Tola clung to her side. "You might not want it, but you don't always get what you want. Can't you see how badly he needs you?"  
  
Her change of tactics seemed to have worked, as the rogue spun back to glare at her. "Why are you defending him? Why are you pushing him onto me?"  
  
Blurting out the answer, she finally realized what she had always known. "Because you need each other."  
  
Silence descended upon the room. For long moments they simply held each other's eyes. At last, Obi backed down, "I don't need him. I need my family."  
  
"What am I?" It hurt her to know that he seemed to have forgotten the family that raised him before he was sent away.  
  
"A friend," he said adding softly, "although now I'm not so sure."  
  
Bant bit back the tears again. "At one point in time, I was family as well."  
  
"That time passed long ago." Just then the door opened and the four elders walked out.  
  
The leader of the crew continued his thought as he re-entered, disrupting the conversation taking place. "Wuan, I want you to show me everything you have so far. We need to think this through carefully."  
  
Jeswick nodded and waited for his friend. "No problem, Captain."  
  
Fen paused, stopping the tall Knight. With a hard glare he looked at the Jedi, "Master Jinn, I want you to get my men back. It's time for you to prove your worth." He then turned and walked out of the Infirmary with the Duros right behind.  
  
Adi walked past and stopped at the doorway, "Qui-Gon, I will head back to the rooms. I'm sure Siri and Tahl have been wondering what is keeping us."  
  
"Yes, Master," dutifully responding to the Councilor. Stealing one more glance at the rogue on the medcouch, she also left. The tall man came to the end of the bunk. "How do you feel?" He softened his tone as he addressed the young man.  
  
"Physically? Better." But this was not what he was hoping to discuss when they re-emerged. Instead, he drove back to the unfinished argument. "So are you going to give me up or not?"  
  
"We still have time to determine that." Qui-Gon knew it wasn't the answer the boy wanted to hear, but it was all he was going to give him. "And you will have to be patient. Right now, we are not planning on letting you go so easily."  
  
The stinging edge returned to the corsair's voice. "I don't care what you are planning, Master Jinn. I'm going home."  
  
Replying in his own cold tone, he stated, "That remains to be seen." Their wills battled quietly for a moment.  
  
Finally, Obi-Wan burst from frustration, "What is wrong with you people? Why do you want me back so badly now? The Jedi left me for dead. And so that is what I have become. It's no longer my place."  
  
Qui-Gon answered calmly, "It is complicated. However, you do belong with the Jedi. And I intend to make sure that happens."  
  
Crossing his arms, the lost youth challenged with steely determination, "That will be difficult. I do not intend to stay here. You no longer have the ability to order me around."  
  
"I am still your guardian here." The Knight reaffirmed, "Or have you forgotten you are our prisoner?" Forced back into the reality of his situation, Obi-Wan huffed as he leaned back into the bed. Qui-Gon glanced over at the younger Jedi standing silently in the room. He was trying to figure out how to get a win-win situation from the upcoming negotiations. But no plan came to mind. The only thing he could think of was to stall for as much time as he could. "Come Tola, let us return to the others. Bant a word please."  
  
Hesitating for a moment, she followed him out. Once beyond the doorway, Qui-Gon turned to address her, "I need to you delay Obi-Wan for a few minutes before allowing him to meet with the Pirates." She gave him a puzzled glance but nodded, there was just no arguing with the man. He had that calculating look in his eyes and despite what had happened, she wanted Obi to stay too.  
  
When she entered the infirmary again, she found Obi-Wan standing in front of a mirror. She wanted to say something, anything to release the awkward tension that filled the room, but when she spoke she could not find the words. "Obi, I.."  
  
Resolutely, he cut her off. "I have to get ready. I'll be going home soon."  
  
"I'll do my best to help you." Cautiously, she walked over to the distraught figure and slowly guided him back to the medcouch. Situating herself across from him, together they entered into a healing trance.  
  
***  
  
Nev woke up with a pounding headache. Slowly he opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. It only took a moment for him to gather that he was not on the /Zenah/. Gingerly, he reached up to rub his head, hoping that some memory would surface telling him where he was. No such luck, the only thing he found was that his wrists and ankles were bound. A soft moan coming from someone next to him told him he was not alone. Carefully, he turned around to find his fellow crewmates, Pev-da, Riello Quarg, and Andon Hobbsbreath. He could also see that they were similarly bound. Watching them, he realized that it was Andon who was stirring.  
  
Gradually, the younger man sat up and took in his environment. When he spotted the engineer, he asked, "What happened?"  
  
Nev frowned, "I don't know. I was hoping you might be able to shed some light on the subject."  
  
Shaking his head, Andon looked down at his bound limbs. "All I remember was working on the ship when everything suddenly went black."  
  
Nodding, he agreed, "Same as me." The wa a moment of silence that filled the room. Nev was trying to figure out their situation. Maybe they had pissed off some natives when they crashed? And as a further longshot, possibly the person or group that sabotaged their ship had captured them. Then his mind wandered back to the wires he found. He was almost positive that it was some form of sabotage he just didn't know how it worked exactly. Suddenly, he wished he knew if Wuan found anything yet.  
  
Sighing, Andon's voice cut through his thoughts. His actions mistaken for disappointment, he could hear the regret in Andon's voice, "I wonder if Pev- da or Rie might know?"  
  
But the head engineer knew better, "I doubt it, kid. But I'm sure we'll find out soon enough."  
  
There was something in the way Nev said it that sparked fear in the younger man. Swallowing hard, he whispered, "I just hope we get out of this in one piece."  
  
"Me too," he said while trying to smile, he didn't think it came off to well, because he saw the young man frown. Deciding that it would be best to keep their minds off of the various possibilities he added, "How 'bout we check on these two then try and figure a way out of here?"  
  
Andon leaned over to Pev-da and nudged him. A grunt escaped the unconscious form before rousing. Nev woke Riello with a nudge as well. When the others were awake, they began to discuss how to get free of their binds and then break out. A quarter of an hour later, the group was huddled together and they were about to begin on their binds when they were interrupted by the hissing of a door. In walked three large Togorians. Recognition sparked in the captives, but only Andon voiced their thought aloud, "The Pirates."  
  
However, there was only one among the captives that knew why they had come. Nev looked at them and found what he believed to be the one in charge. Addressing the Captain directly, he asked, "You've come back for your boy, haven't you?" His crewmates looked at him with puzzlement visible in their features. "You plan to trade us for him?"  
  
Tuuvu nodded, "That is our intention. Do not fear, we will not harm you, yet. As long as your Captain and the Jedi co-operate, you will be safe. If not, well, let's just hope they do." He was ready and willing to risk anything to get his cub back, no matter how it might effect them.  
  
Automatically becoming the captives' spokesman, he inquired further, "So what happens now?"  
  
The Captain explained the situation briefly, "We are going to meet with the Jedi. If he gives us back the boy, you will all be free to go. But to make sure we have the upperhand in this deal, we are only taking two of you with us. The others will be released once we have the boy back."  
  
The chief mechanic understood immediately. "In that case take the young man and the Duros. I will remain here with my colleague while you negotiate." His shipmates shot him a questioning glance, but he ignored them.  
  
Tuuvu nodded and Kuuur and Mrrogh hauled up Andon and Riello. Abruptly, they exited, leaving the two behind. Nev looked over at Pev-da. "I'm sorry to have kept you here with me, but I wanted them safe. Andon is young and still has his life ahead of him. And I would rather be here, knowing that I don't have to face Waun's wrath if his nephew was harmed."  
  
Comprehension washed over him. Pev-da was a number of years older than Nev but never had the ambition to aspire to higher ranks. "That's alright. I understand." As the two sat in silence for a moment, another thought came to him. "How did you know about the boy?  
  
Grinning, he supplied, "I spoke with Fen shortly before we were captured. He mentioned that the pirate was still on board. It only seemed logical that that was the reason they returned. Fen told me we would talk about it later."  
  
"Sure does make sense. I just hope that we will be rejoining them soon enough. Maybe then we'll get the whole story." The two leaned back against the wall of their cell and prayed everything went smoothly.  
  
***  
  
"I will not let him slip through my fingers again." The Knight paced their cabin.  
  
"Qui, I know how much he means to you. I've felt it for years now," Tahl attempted to sooth her distraught friend. She then tried to appeal to his sense of honour, "But you must think rationally. We can always make another attempt at bringing Obi-Wan home. If these crewmen die because of your stubbornness, well, I do not know if you would be able to handle it."  
  
Her tactic seemed to have worked, marginally. "I know my duty as a Jedi. But I also know with that comes my duty to the Force as well. And I know that it is telling me I cannot let him go."  
  
What she really wanted to ask him was, 'Is it really the Force or your own need that tells you to keep him?' But she knew that would only cause a rift to form between them. Instead, she decided to make a point of how futile this endeavor was, "And how do you plan on keeping him?"  
  
Sighing, the tall figure stopped. "I am not entirely sure, but I have faith in the Force. It will provide a way." His brilliant azure eyes blazed with determination.  
  
The woman he loved watched on sympathetically. Something in her cat-like eyes told him, she was about to say something that was both pertinent yet disheartening at the same time. "And how does Obi-Wan feel about all this?"  
  
Loosing some of his steam, he crashed down onto the bed. His head fell into his hands in a vain attempt to hide his disappointment. "He wishes to return to the Pirates."  
  
"Can you blame him?" A little surprised at her comment, he wasn't entirely sure how to answer. "Think about it Qui-Gon. Take a moment and forget what you *believe* should happen. Try to see things through his eyes. He was rejected by those he trusted. Sent to the Agri-Corps and then captured. Obviously abused and then finally someone took him in and nurtured him. But it wasn't us." She tried to be as gentle as she could while she spoke, and moved to stand next to him.  
  
He knew what she said was true, but it was not exactly what he wanted to deal with at the moment. His mind clung to one truth, "It should have been us."  
  
Calmly, she reiterated, "But it wasn't." Sitting down on the bed, she wrapped her arms around him. "You have to understand, he may still be Obi- Wan, but he is not the initiate who fought for you all those years ago. He's a young man now. Independent and troubled."  
  
Raising an eyebrow, he glanced down at his friend. "Troubled?"  
  
"His soul is still hurting. A wound has been re-opened suddenly and without warning. It takes time to ease the pain before he can even begin trying to heal it." Tahl's head eased itself onto the large shoulder. She continued but she spoke distantly, "He's been through so much, you can't expect him to ignore everything that has happened to him and pick up where he left off five years ago. Perhaps, you should begin trying to repair the damage in his spirit before demanding that he stay with us."  
  
When she stopped talking, he sat for a moment in awe. She had always been able to view things from a perspective that constantly eluded him. Thoughtfully, he turned to look at her directly and swung his arm around to embrace her. "Do you know that I would be lost without you?" A remorseful grin curved his lips.  
  
"Pitifully lost," she agreed. Her green-striped eyes sparkled and she smiled knowing it to be absolute truth. After a moment, she realized she had not mentioned something yet, "And thank you for bringing Tola back to me. I was beginning to worry."  
  
He said matter-of-factly, "She was exhausted and her mind had been emotionally overloaded. She needed the rest."  
  
"So do you." She muttered under her breath, already knowing the subject was a lost cause. Her thoughts drifted momentarily back to the young girl. "She should not have followed Bant, it was a trying experience for everyone, especially one so young. I wish I had noticed her absence earlier." Her tone sounded almost defeated.  
  
Stroking her back, he pulled her closer, resting his chin on her head. "It is regrettable that she witnessed the crewmen's attack on Obi-Wan. Even I found it difficult to stomach." The image of a battered and bloodied Obi- Wan resurfacing in his mind. His mind wandered while Tahl continued.  
  
"I agree. But I am grateful that she was able to fetch you before there was no saving Obi-Wan. From what I can see he has been through enough pain that he didn't need anymore." As they held each other, she noticed his posture change. His shoulders slumped and he leaned into her a little more.  
  
"This is all my fault." The words sounded as though his heart was being ripped from his chest.  
  
Stepping back, her hands came up to cup his face. "You cannot blame yourself for this. I know it has been difficult for you over these years, but take heart in the fact that your hopes have been realized. Obi-Wan is alive. But never forget that his life has been difficult for him as well. You need to take time to allow things to happen on their own. There is still a chance to make things right, for both of you."  
  
"Is it possible?" His voice not as confident as it usually was.  
  
"Anything's possible," she assured. "Now I just hope I will be able to help my Padawan as well as I can you." She hugged him again and sighed.  
  
Comforted to a degree, he allowed his curiosity to speak for him, "Why do you say that?"  
  
"Obi-Wan has been a major part of both of your lives. I have never told you how many times I have found her sitting in sad silence. Probably about as often as I find you. I believe the Force wants me here to help you two while you both are meant to help him."  
  
"And how am I supposed to help him when he will be gone before I get the chance?" He asked incredulously.  
  
Looking up at him with compassion in her gaze, her grip tightened for a moment adding to the conviction in her tone. "I agree with one thing you have said, Qui. The Force will provide a way."  
  
"I hope you are right." For the last time before he set out to meet the pirates, she reached out and embraced him. There was little else she could do to calm the growing storm within the man. Silently, she pleaded with the Force to bring Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan together, so that they could heal each other at long last.  
  
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I am incredibly sorry for the delay. I wish I could have posted sooner, however there was an almost disaster. My original disc became corrupted and blanked out on me. I couldn't pull it up at work. When I got home somehow it managed to pull up on my laptop and I was able to save the file. But it was a harrowing experience and then I have to finish up chap 10. Now that it's all done. I would very much appreciate any thoughts you have about the updated Chap 9 and now Chap 10. Once again thank you for reading. :D  
  
Thanks for the lyric suggestions! I was able to find some I thought might work well. ;) BUT I HATE!!!! FORMATTING!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Meggie - Changing the name?? Hmmm, it's rather interesting. ;) And no problem. I understand when you don't get a chance to review. Unfortunately I'm a notorious lurker. But I am trying to get better. ;)  
  
Ciria - Three parts for you this time. I hope you like it. ;) Also, I adjusted that chap because of a lot of feedback wondering that exact thing. I was hoping to avoid it, but it was mentioned too often to ignore. I hope you like the changes I made. :) And thank you sooo much. I love your reviews. ;D  
  
Ewok Kid - Thank you very much. I am glad you liked it, however, I am sorry you will have to re-read it again. I am hoping that I will not have to go back again to fix things. I think I like the direction that we're headed now. Most of the same comments are valid. I still kept Qui obstinate, if not more so. And Tuuvu really did show how much Obi meant to him, without so many words. Awww, thank you. I do try. Sometimes, oft times, I don't feel like I achieve that. But I really, really appreciate the comment. :D  
  
lighted eagle - I got the hint. And I hope you enjoy the journey that I have begun. This still promises to be long, as I already have sequels planned and such. Let's hope I can continue with such standards I have set before me. ;)  
  
Christy - Um, heh, yeah, well. It might be a bit before we even come close to finding that out. If you have patience, I think you might like what I have in mind. But you will need patience. Heh. :D  
  
ewanobiwan - switching names too, huh? You guys trying to confuse me or something? :p Anyway, I guess you are a 'for-qui/jedi' person? Aww, thanks. :8} I hope everything worked out for you on your story! I haven't made it to this site much recently. Thanks again for reading. :D  
  
Shan - I agree, too oft, Qui is aloof and denying what is deep within him. I'm hoping witht the fact that too much time has been wasted, he'll forgo the 'denial' phase and head straight to the 'I care for you' phase. ;) Thanks, sweetie you are my guide for this and I cannot express how much you have helped me. :D  
  
Jess S - OH, it will be interesting in coming chaps to see how they might 'work' together. We should see that soon, hopefully. ;)  
  
Death Rider - All, I can say, is keep guessing dear on who planted the device. :p LOL, I'm sorry to hear Qui got the better of you, but Obi has his own things to take care of. You'll see. ;) Good luck. :D  
  
jedilittlebee - Yep, that's what I was thinking. If at first, you don't succeed, try, try again. I believe that is what the Force is doing here for Qui and Obi, but we'll have to wait and see. ;) LOL, yes, Qui does seem to get himself into a fix now and then. Let's just hope with friends there to help him, he won't end up having to pay. :)  
  
Meggie - I know, I know. I am soooooo sorry about the delay. Like I said there were a number of things denying me the chance to post. But I am here now and finally able to do so. I hope the span between this and the next chap are not so long. Keep your fingers crossed.  
  
obaona - NP. Thanks for replying. ;)  
  
Ani-Coolgirl - Wow, welcome and thank you so very much!! I am so happy you are enjoying it. :D  
  
Louiewolfie - NP. I understand, some things here get a little lost. I know I have lost a number of fics on occasion and am glad to have found them again. ;) Thanks again for reading. :D  
  
Kenobi's Girl - Thank you!! :D  
  
mwahahaaaaa - um, ok. That was an interesting review. ;) TMI on my part too. But I'm glad to see another 'for-tuuvu/pirates' person here. :D  
  
DeeD - Well, thank you for saying so. I really appreciate it. And thanks for the review on my other fic. It's always odd to see one pop up on my older stuff. But all comments and thoughts are more than welcome anytime. Thank you for letting me know. :D  
  
Peggy Schultz, Ciria and lighted eagle - Thank you so much for your patience. I really appreciate it. I needed the break and it was still all too short. I hope it will be enough. Thanks again. :D 


	12. Chapter 11: When the Lion Roars and the

Chapter 11: When the Lion Roars and the Lamb Cries

__

"You'll rescue me, right?

In the exact same way they never did.

I'll be happy, right?

When your healing powers kick in.

You'll complete me, right?

Then my life can finally begin.

I'll be worthy, right?

When you realize the gem I am." – Precious Illusions (Alanis Morrisette – Under Rug Swept)

Obi-Wan slowly roused from his healing trance. It had been a long, too long, a time since he had felt this depth of peace. The Force flowed lovingly around him, breezing past and cooling his heated emotions. He had been searching for this ever since he was sent away. He found it both ironic and fitting that he was able to achieve it with Jedi help. The stunning blue-green eyes studied his old friend. She was still deep within her own meditation. As he gazed at her, he realized how much he had missed her over the years. She was always there for him, even when he didn't think he needed any help. They often sat together in the gardens, doing this exact same thing. She knew he struggled with meditations, but she insisted that he do them. At one point she even suggested it as a way to win a Master. 

__

How wrong she had been. He sighed lightly at the realization. Still nothing could mar the wonderful peace that enveloped them. Sadly his hand reached out and touched her cheek lightly. He had done it so often when they were initiates, so often when he wanted to thank her for putting up with him and his stubbornness, so often when no one else bothered to help him except her. He watched as she gently moved to lean into his touch, savouring the sensation as much as he was. A soft smile crept over both of their youthful features. Bant's hand came up to trap the rogue's, she did not want to let the dream go, fearing that she would never have it again. 

Slowly, almost sleepily, the Padawan's large silver eyes fluttered open. Her smile broadening when she found the hope beyond hope still in front of her. The elation faded after a few moments as she knew her time drew short. The serenity that flowed freely held the room despite the low tremors of sorrow that began to form. Watching she noticed it was not only her reigned grief that filtered into the calm. Those tell all oceans of emotion also whispered hints of pain and regret at their impending departure. 

They held each other's gazes for some time before one of them finally summoned the courage to break the quiet. "I should get ready. I don't want to keep Tuuvu waiting." Carefully, Obi-Wan withdrew his hand and worked himself off of his medcouch. 

Bant watched as he walked away from her, barely aware of the turmoil that stirred just beneath the surface. Following his slender form, he stretched and walked over to a mirror. This was the first time Obi-Wan bothered to look at himself since the raid, and he was surprised to see his reflection. His lip was spilt but did not appear ghastly. His swollen eye had shrunk significantly, but was still slightly puffed. However, he was more astonished by the change in his eyes. He had thought that he conquered his wayward emotions, yet at that moment he was staring at the face of his inner child. Hurt and confused, they revealed the doubt that started to whisper in his thoughts. Was he doing the right thing, it had asked him during his meditation. And for the life of him, he couldn't find an answer. He knew what his heart wanted, to be loved and wanted, and that meant he needed to go back to Tuuvu. Yet, something deeply ensconced within him woke and he heard his soul hinting of a greater purpose. Now his mind argued that whatever it might have been, it was no longer his to attain. Sighing, he did not want to listen to any of them. 

Keen silver eyes continued to observe the corsair. When he paused to gaze into the looking glass, he had lingered longer than he should. For a moment, she thought she could see something swirl within the greying gaze. But he had pushed it away with a sigh. Still, she couldn't believe her luck. To find a ghost, only to let it vanish again into the vastness of space. Tears rimmed her bulbous eyes and the peace she had moments before quickly slipped from her fingers. Making sure her voice would not betray her, she asked, "Have the Jedi done you such a disservice?" Hesitating for a moment she added, "One that we may never be able to overcome?"

Breaking from his own internal war, he tore his eyes away from his reflection. Formulating an answer he finally responded, "I'm … not sure." His voice was quiet, so hushed if not for the stillness of the room or the engines, she might not have even heard it. "At one time, I thought it was possible to go back. But now…" he trailed off, lost in thought.

"And now, you don't believe it possible?" She meant it more as a statement rather than a question, but he answered anyway.

"I don't know."

"Why?" He shrugged, so she pressed on, hoping that somehow she could convince him to stay, "Is there any way that you would come back to us?"

"Maybe, if things were different. If this had been three years ago, perhaps." Obi-Wan mulled over the prospect of being found earlier. For a moment, he saw a life full of hope and his dreams fulfilled. Suddenly, the image shattered with brief flashes of pain. Gasping slightly from the onslaught, he turned away from the Calamarian. His voice low and melancholy, "But it's too late, I don't think they would take me back. I'm too old now to become a Padawan. And my current career might not be acceptable to the ideals of the Jedi." An awkward smile curled his lips. 

Cautiously, she slid off the medcouch and came up behind him. "You should give them a chance. You might be surprised."

"I can't. I have a family now, I can't just abandon them because the ones who abandoned me decided that they want me back. It wouldn't be fair to Tuuvu. He invested a lot of time in me, it wouldn't be fair to ignore everything he's done." It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to believe it was feasible, but he did owe it to Tuuvu to come back and he made a promise. 

A little hurt by his dismissal, she asked with a small edge in her tone, "And the Jedi have done nothing for you?"

"I didn't say that. I am thankful for what the Jedi have done for me. But life does not always give us what we want. Maybe… maybe I'm just not meant to be a Jedi."

"Not meant to be a Jedi? Obi-Wan, when we were growing up, there was one thing that you clung to no matter how bad things got, that you would become a Jedi Knight. Was what happened to you so horrible that you refuse that belief now?" Pain shown clearly in the aquamarine gaze, intense and hot, but he remained absolute. Agitated, she continued, "And if you were not meant to be a Jedi, I guess that means you were meant to be a pirate and all that entails?"

"I don't know! I don't know!" He shot back. His heart was tearing apart under the inquisition. He didn't know what he was to become. He didn't know if his life should continue as it had been. He didn't know if he was doing the right thing. All he did know was that he didn't want to argue. He was too tired and he didn't want his last few minutes with his best friend to be spent bickering over the past. Over something unchangeable. The fight drained from him quickly, and his tone softened dramatically. "I don't know."

The sound of defeat crashed into her at the softly spoken words. They were no different than the ones he shouted moments before but they _were_ different in what they conveyed. In that instant, she was startled at what she had almost accomplished. In her quest to persuade him to return, she had almost successfully pushed him away with her accusations. It was unfair of her to assume that he had not faced pain or torment, and that he did not have obligations to take care of. Just as she had to the Jedi, Obi-Wan had his own toward the pirates.

Unshed tears broke free and trailed down the salmon coloured skin, she finally accepted and admitted her darkest fear, "I don't want you to go."

"I know." Hearing her sniffle softly, he turned to face her. Again, he reached out to caress the smooth skin. "I don't want to leave you either." Regret had laden his tone. 

"Then stay," she pleaded. "Stay with us, with _me_." A hiccuping sob escaped her. "You don't know how much we've missed you."

Compelled to ease the transition, Obi-Wan pulled Bant closer to him, embracing her. "I've missed you too. All of you." It was true, there had been many times he thought about his friends. And many times he wished they were all together again. But circumstances change, life changes and he could no longer be with them. "But I can't stay. It's time for me to go home."

Gradually, her tears abated. Still wrapped in his arms, she didn't want to let go. "Don't forget me."

"I could never, ever, ever forget you." Tenderly, he squeezed to reinforce his words.

"Write me."

"I will." Slowly, Obi-Wan released Bant and they stared at each other for a second longer. Wiping away the last of her tears, Bant lead Obi-Wan through the corridors toward the hatchway. Before the door opened, she paused to regard the young man one more time. Silently, they offered their good-byes. The Padawan watched as her rediscovered friend turned and walked down the ramp. When he vanished from sight, she retreated back to their rooms. She needed to talk with her Master.

*

Qui-Gon exited the ship. Earlier, he instructed Bant to delay Obi-Wan for a few minutes while he spoke with the pirates alone. He needed to bargain for the parts first and did not want Obi-Wan there distracting them. Or rather himself. He still did not know how he was going to hold onto the young rogue. _The Force will provide a way._ Over the past hour, that had become a mantra to the large Jedi. Sighing, he tried not to loose hope, but with each passing minute he felt his chances slipping away. 

He came to stand at the edge of the clearing, peering out into the forest, the perfect image of serenity as he waited. It didn't take long for him to spot movement in the foliage beyond. Within a few minutes, he was able to make out a small group heading toward him. As they drew ever closer, he recognized the two prisoners as well as the three captors. Squaring his shoulders he prepared for his task.

The troupe entered the clearing at last and halted. One Pirate held onto one prisoner, leaving the Captain free to do what ever he needed. Scanning the area, only finding the imposing man in front of him, the Togorian Captain began, "Where is my cub?"

Confusion crossed his features for a split second before being replaced by expressionless features. Requesting clarification, he hesitated, "Your cub?"

Tuuvu did nothing to hide his displeasure. Baring his teeth he stated, "Obi-Wan. Where is he?"

Understanding came fully to Qui-Gon as he pondered this information. _Apparently, Obi-Wan is more than a simple crewmember to them. This is going to more difficult than I originally anticipated._ Pushing his apprehension aside, he pressed on, "He will be here in a moment. I wished to speak with you briefly before he arrived."

"I will discuss nothing until I see him." Tuuvu growled and moved to turn around.

Quickly, the Knight tried to stop them. "Please hear me out. My name is Qui-Gon Jinn." A feral cry pierced the air.

And before anyone could react, including the Jedi, Tuuvu pounced upon the Knight forcing him to the ground. Startled by the suddenness of the attack, Qui-Gon lay still, shocked. "You!" A blaster barrel rested on Qui-Gon's forehead, and he could hear a low growl emit from the furred Captain. Between clenched teeth, a deep angered snarl said, "If I had known you were on board, I would never have left him behind."

Qui-Gon remained perfectly still, not wishing to agitate the man on top of him. Vaguely he gathered, _He knows my name. Obi-Wan must have mentioned me._ He would have spent more time wondering exactly might have been said, but he was more concerned with the blaster that was pointed at him. He remebered the circumstances that led Obi-Wan to them and he offered in a steady tone, "You had no choice."

"I always have a choice," the Captain snapped back. "Even at the cost of my entire ship and crew, I would never have left him willingly in your hands."

Qui-Gon marveled at what the Pirate just said. He would have sacrificed everything to keep Obi-Wan away from the Jedi, no from _him._ Such ferocity, it was overwhelming. His mind toyed with the idea that maybe it was possible that Obi-Wan should be with them. They obviously cared for him a great deal. _No, Obi-Wan was meant to be a Jedi._ Snapping out of his musing, he said plainly, "Regardless, the Force has brought him back to us." 

Tuuvu raised the blaster a little higher and gently squeezed. He had longed for this moment. Prayed that one day he might come face to face with this demon. For the chance to kill him. Dreamed that the man would beg for his life, plead with apologies upon apologies for his wrongdoing. And it disturbed him when the man simply relaxed against the earth and stared up at him. "I have waited a long time for this. I should kill you here and now for what you have done."

---

It has been said that actions can speak louder than words. And at this moment, they would find some of the truth behind it. Gently, a small slender hand touched a furred forearm. A soothing cultured voice added weight to the motion, "It will solve nothing."

Slowly, ever so slowly, the finger resting on the trigger relaxed. The Pirate Captain was delighted yet distraught to hear the voice he sought whispering to him. Wanting only to destroy the man beneath him, he wished he had blasted the Jedi before his cub showed up. His deep emerald gaze still bore down at the Knight in his grasp even as he addressed the youth, "But he's the one. The one who caused you so much pain. He does not deserve to live." Memories of nights watching over a fevered boy who cried and begged a _Qui-Gon Jinn_ to explain what was wrong with him, came rushing back to Tuuvu. One might call it fatherly love to want to get rid of something that had caused their child pain. Most would call it revenge.

If you were not familiar with Togorians, it would have been hard for one to discern their facial expressions. However, Obi-Wan was very familiar with them and he noticed the caring Captain's brow furrow in confusion. Suddenly, he felt extremely tired. Kneeling down next to the taut pair, he peered up at his friend and guardian. He knew that killing Qui-Gon would do them little good and he no longer wanted blood on his hands. Wearily, he reasoned with the Captain, "He is only one of many reasons. And you know that killing him would not erase the past." Intently, he watched the internal struggle within his friend. And his need to end the cycle of hatred and regret drove him to add, "Please, Patron."

Slowly, the Togorian glanced over to look at his cub. Years ago, when Obi-Wan had recovered from the pain of his body and heart, Tuuvu and his mate told the boy that they cared for him as if he were their own cub. It was then that they offered, should he decide to, that he could call them Patron and Matron, as if they were his true parents. Taken aback, Obi-Wan graciously accepted their love and kindness but could not yet bring himself to call them his parents. Not for lack of love, but because he still had had doubts about his place in their life. This was the first time Obi-Wan used the name Patron to address him. Tears welled in the emerald gaze. Tuuvu could see the affection flow freely from the gentle seas he had grown to love.

Instantly, Tuuvu released the Knight and embraced Obi-Wan scooping him up in his arms. "Oh, cub," was all he could manage through the hiccuping sobs of joy. Overpowered by the depth of emotions coursing through them. Everything around them melted away and they held each other for what could have been an eternity. Obi-Wan dismissed the discomfort he felt from the man's tight hug. His body still not one hundred percent due to the self inflicted wounds and the accepted beating he withstood earlier.

For the first time, in he didn't know how long, Obi-Wan felt like he was home. Held in arms that loved him, really _loved_ him. All the pain in the universe could not disrupt this moment in time. And he didn't want to let it go. Yet those moments can never last forever, they are meant to be treasured. And so it was that Tuuvu finally loosened his grip and fully looked at his cub. He gasped as he took in the boy's image. A paw came up to cup the young man's face and a thumb tentatively touched the puffy eye. Obi-Wan immediately dissuaded the man's concern, "It was… a misunderstanding. I'll be fine."

When the powerful being released him, Qui-Gon hesitantly got to his feet. With some remorse, he witnessed the tender exchange between "father" and "son." He realized then the true extent of his refusal to accept the boy as his Padawan. He had not simply lost a student, a companion. He had lost his chance to have a son again. To share moments like these with. His heart wept at the loss, but he remained controlled and passive externally. When the thoughtful moment passed he quickly fell back into his negotiator phase, "Pardon me, but I believe we have some negotiations to conduct. And we have not relinquished Obi-Wan from our care."

With sharp and deliberate movements, Tuuvu spun around and punched the Knight forcing him to stagger. Qui-Gon had been so entangled in his twisted thoughts he hadn't seen the swing coming. The Togorian glared at the Knight and accused, "If this is your idea of care, Jedi, I would not want to see your idea of maltreatment."

Drawing back the angered being's attention, Obi-Wan corrected his friend's assumption, "It wasn't Qui-Gon's doing." He watched the man closely as he waited for him to turn back around. And for the briefest instant he thought the man's temper would overrule his senses. Obi's gaze flickered over to his other companions for help. But instead of finding his friends, a different vision assaulted him. Two pairs of haunted eyes were staring at him. He had seen that look not more than a few minutes before, when he stared into his own reflection. They were the eyes of his inner child, the eyes of one who was cast into a world of doubt and fear. And it hit him hard when he realized that that look was caused in part by him. No, he had not kidnapped them and held them against their will, but it happened to insure his freedom. Tuuvu's voice dislodged him from his reverie.

"I don't care who did it. I have come to get you, now we will go." Turning he was about to walk away, when Qui stopped him again with a question.

"What of the men you still hold? Why are they not here?" Obi-Wan's head snapped to peer at the Knight. _There were others being held? Why had Tuuvu not brought them as well?_ He turned back to his guardian to await the answer.

Tuuvu paused and said, "We kept them for insurance."

__

So he kept them to guarantee my freedom? Was that justified? Slowly, Obi-Wan moved up beside his Captain. In hushed tones he posed the question again, "You still have some of their men?"

Gently, Tuuvu regarded his 'son' and gave a sad smile, "We wanted to make sure you were safe first. We would return them unharmed once we had you back."

Another thought struck him and it tightened his throat, "And if I did not come back to you?"

At first Tuuvu did not answer, just stared down at the youth. Finally, his tone hardened dismissing what he might have done if the situation had been so, "That's irrelevant. Come on, let's go home."

What Obi-Wan said next surprised everyone, "I can't." Suddenly everything went still, as if the world stopped revolving and life itself ended in that moment. Doggedly, he forced himself to look Tuuvu in the eyes. It was the most difficult thing he had ever done, but he managed to gaze up into the emerald eyes that loved him so, that had loved him enough to hunt him down and take him back. And he longed to embrace the man and say, 'Yes, please, take me home.' However, those words would not escape him. He felt the pain in his heart when he saw the hurt he inflicted by his refusal. It was a refusal to impose others with the same fears and uncertainties he had to face alone when he had been captured. And it meant a lot to him.

Yet there was something else that kept him from forgetting about the Jedi and walking back to his friends. He couldn't explain it entirely. A distant whispering that was telling him he had to wait. There was a need for him to see something first. It fluttered just beyond his consciousness and he knew he would have to wait to discover what it was.

The resounding silence was shattered by a single softly spoken word, drawn out by utter disbelief, "What?"

Eyes still locked together, Obi-Wan replied with growing conviction, "I will not leave until you have brought back the other crewmen."

Tuuvu took a step toward the youth. "Cub, we've come here specifically to bring you home," attempting to reason with the boy.

"I know, Patron." Obi-Wan put as much compassion as he could into the words. He knew what he was doing to his 'father' by rejecting his help, but he also took comfort in knowing it was the right thing to do. He continued, "But I cannot allow others to be harmed on my account." Quietly he added, "You know what that would do to me." He appealed to his Patron, hoping that changing the stakes would work. He was not disappointed. Understanding crossed behind the jaded gaze and he saw some of the man's resolve melt away. Reassuring his guardian, he stated, "I will go home with you once you have returned the others." They stared at each other for a long minute. 

The quiet disrupted again by the calculating baritone of the Jedi, "I must interject here. We need to discuss the possibility of obtaining parts from you." He was relieved by Obi-Wan's apparent change of heart, but he also had a duty to perform. If he did not at least attempt to negotiate, he knew he would get a lot of flack for his ineptitude. He could see that this was his last opportunity so he took it.

Reeling on the Knight, Tuuvu's voice was short with annoyance. "You are in no position to negotiate anything, Jedi. We will be going to retrieve your men and then we will be gone." He glanced back at his cub, unsure of how to proceed exactly. He was obviously worried about the youth, but he also respected the boy's judgement. And he knew no matter what, Obi would keep his promise to return to him. Sighing, he turned and walked away.

The whole group was about to leave but Obi-Wan stopped them before they could get very far. "Please, let these two go while you get the others. I'll be here waiting for you. I'll be safe, despite what's already happened. Master Jinn will not let any more harm come to me."

Cocking his head slightly, he regarded the youth before addressing the Jedi again. If the boy could believe that to be true than he would have to trust the boy. "You guarantee his safety and you will have your men within the hour."

Qui-Gon straightened and nodded. "I will protect him with my life."

"You better." Tuuvu turned again and headed back into the forest. As he passed Kuuur and Mrrogh, he uttered, "Release them." Exchanging quiet glances, and then looking at the boy they had come to save, the pair finally complied. His companions pushed their captives forward and followed their Captain. 

Once they were far enough away, Kuuur growled under his breath, "This is wrong. We will not be getting him back."

Resigned, Tuuvu reluctantly said, "I have to trust Cub. He promised he would return to me. And I know he will do what he must to keep his promise. Now hurry." He did not want to delay their reunion any longer than necessary.

Once the Pirates were lost in the greenery, Obi-Wan joined the trio. Qui-Gon was already at work removing the captives' bonds. He was just taking off Riello's cuffs when he noticed Obi-Wan come up beside them. Without a word or direction from anyone, the rogue pulled the Force to him, easily manipulating it to release the lock on Andon's binders. But unlike Qui-Gon he took his task one step further. Once the restraints fell off, he concentrated on the sore wrists. Sending healing energy toward the reddened skin, he also sent calming waves to relax the pair. When he finished, he glanced up at Andon, "Better?"

"Yes, thank you," the bewildered mechanic replied. 

For another moment, no one spoke, until Qui-Gon cleared his throat. "You two should head back inside. I'm sure your Captain will be pleased to see you again." He offered them a smile and they accepted the invitation to leave. The would-be Master and Apprentice watched the pair enter the downed craft. An awkward silence hung in the air between them. Again it was the Jedi who broke through, "I see you have not lost all of your training." Remarking on the young man's previous actions.

"I have lost none of it. It is still a part of me." Obi-Wan stated. It was true, he had continued as best he could with his meditations. And when time allowed he would even continue practicing his katas. And with his early captivity he had a lot of practice honing his healing skills.

Qui-Gon glanced again at the rogue, "I am relieved to hear that." A gentle breeze brushed past them. For a moment, Qui-Gon was disappointed. Obi-Wan had yet to face him and it hurt him that with Tuuvu gone, Obi-Wan had become the reserved and leery pirate he first encountered. As such he was a little unprepared for the blunt question that was posed to him.

"How bad is the ship?" At last Obi-Wan turned to regard the Knight. The murky depths hid what lay beneath perfectly and he peering in to the clear skies across from him. "You said you needed parts. I want your complete honesty."

Knowing it was pointless to hide the whole truth, Qui-Gon met bluntness with bluntness, "She will not fly again. We seek only to obtain the components to repair our communications. That way we may be able to send a rescue signal." He explained what his goal had been. Obi-Wan nodded but questioned no further. He appeared to be lost in thought. Determining that they would be waiting for a while, Qui-Gon suggested, "Shall we wait inside?" Remaining silent, Obi-Wan followed Qui-Gon back inside the vessel that had changed his life dramatically. They walked along the halls in silence finally stopping in front of the Jedi's cabins. "You will be safer if you remain with us. I suggest you stay in here as not to disturb the initiates."

Nodding again, Obi-Wan followed Jinn inside the room. Fortunately, no one was inside. For a moment, Obi-Wan checked his shields to make sure they were in place. He did not want to alert Bant that he was still on board, saying good-bye once was bad and he didn't think he could deal with it a second time. Feeling the awkward tension building, Obi-Wan was relieved when Qui-Gon spoke again, "If you will excuse me, I would like to check in with the other Masters." Not waiting for a response, Qui-Gon abruptly left the room. Obi-Wan released the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. 

Glancing around, he looked at the bed in the center of the room and the various chairs scattered around. Instead of slipping into the cushioned seats, he moved back toward the wall and slid down to stop on the ground. Wrapping his arms around his legs, he allowed his head to fall back and his eyes to close. He struggled to find an answer to his question, _Why had he refused to go home?_ Was it simply because he felt bad for those still held captive? Yes, that was most of it, he was sure. But then there was that nagging feeling still entrenched somewhere deep within him. _Was it possible that Bant created enough doubt to make me wonder if it _was _possible to go back? Or was it truly something else?_

Drifting along the paths of his thoughts, Obi-Wan could hear the soft laughter of the initiates in an adjacent room. For a moment, he remembered playing with his friends in the Temple, but quickly stopped them before they could get too far. It was torture being around Jedi again and in some senses he couldn't wait to get away from them. But his mind entertained the idea of rejoining them, before he could swiftly brush it away. Sighing, he vaguely became aware of two small presences. Opening his eyes he found two of the initiates standing in front of him. One he recognized as the little girl who had been attached to Bant's side a short while ago. The other was a small little human boy who seemed even younger that the girl. Not sure of what else to do, he greeted them, "hello."

The girl smiled shyly at him and then stated, "Hi, my name's Tola. This is my friend, N'thal." 

He relaxed slightly and grinned back. "Pleased to meet you. My name is Obi-Wan."

The little boy shifted his weight and glanced down at his feet, obviously a bit intimidated by the pirate. "He wanted to meet you, but he was shy." She indicated the person next to her and the boy blushed.

"It's alright, I won't bite," Obi-Wan encouraged flashing one of his winning smiles. But he was also curious and asked Tola, "How did you know I was here?"

"We saw you through the door when Master Jinn left. I was telling 'Thal about what happened before," she paused and gave him a crooked grin, unsure of how he would react to the news. Obi-Wan nodded. She went on, "and he was curious as to why you were here. So I thought we should just ask you."

Understanding their curiosity, he explained, "There was a… delay in my leaving. So we came back inside to wait." They didn't need to know all the details and it was the simplest explanation he could think of.

Frowning a bit, she asked, "So you're not here to help?"

Confusion crossed his features at the question, "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "'Thal's been worried and we were kinda hoping that that's why you came back." 

Even more vexed, Obi-Wan pressed further, "And what does he have to be worried about?"

For the first time the young boy spoke, his voice quiet and hushed as if what he was about to say would disrupt the world around them, "I don't think we'll make it back to the Temple."

Stunned, Obi-Wan felt as if he had been backhanded and he winced in response to it. The blatant truth in the statement made him realize the dire situation the children were in. Reality came crumbling down all around him, knowing that they were stranded here until someone came to rescue them. _You caused this, _his conscience snapped. _And I will fix it._ He shot back, jumping to his feet. Glancing at the startled children, he firmly requested, "Can you please get Qui-Gon? I need to speak with him immediately." Tola and N'thal abruptly ran from the room, sensing the urgency in his tone.

* 

Qui-Gon stepped into one of the attached common rooms knowing he would find Adi Gallia overseeing the initiates. When she saw him enter she frowned and moved to meet him. "Things did not go well?"

"Not as I had hoped they would." Qui-Gon confided. Sighing, he glanced back at the door he just passed through before returning his gaze to the composed woman. "I was not able to negotiate with the pirates. I will be meeting with them shortly to retrieve the last of their captives."

"They kept some for insurance, didn't they?" She surmised and Qui-Gon affirmed with a nod. "Obi-Wan?" She was curious to learn what had become of him. She noticed Qui-Gon's clear eyes darken.

"He's still here," he sighed. "I thought it best he stay within our rooms until the exchange was complete. We do not need a repeat of what happened earlier." Memories of the horrific scene he had confronted resurfacing momentarily.

She agreed readily, "No, we do not." Quietly, she observed the Knight who seemed lost in thought. It suddenly dawned on her, that he was not relishing his minor victory of maintaining the rogue. "You don't seem to happy to know we still have Obi-Wan."

At this, his shoulders sagged, almost as if in defeat. "I'm torn, Master. From what I saw out there, I know that Obi-Wan is loved by his new 'family.' But a part of me wants Obi-Wan to stay with us." He could still feel the love flow between Obi-Wan and his 'father.'

Adi softened her tone to help ease some of the distraught Knight's tension, "Our lives are rarely direct and to the point, Qui. Often we linger in the grey haze of uncertainty. It is good that you have doubts. His life is complex and we know very little of what happened to Obi-Wan while he was away. You were hasty from need. Now you will see things in a different light and make a better decision from it." Studying the compassionate man, she could see that her words did have some effect.

Half-smiling, he regarded the Councilor, "Thank you, Master, for your insight."

"You're welcome, my friend." Her hand touched his shoulder, glad to know that she helped a little. She then added, "Despite what you may have thought, I was never against you. I just wanted you to examine your feelings and make sure that you understood the motives behind them. They are your asset but they can also be your downfall if you are not careful."

He was reminded again why this beautiful and brilliant young woman held such a prestigious position on the Council. "I suppose even Masters and Knights always have more to learn, especially about themselves."

Trying not to laugh to loud, she joked, "You have no idea."

A small tug on his robe brought Qui-Gon's attention down beside him. "Master Qui-Gon?"

"Yes, Tola?" Without uttering another word, her lilac eyes directed him to the door. Nodding his understanding he briskly headed inside.

As soon as Qui-Gon entered, Obi-Wan demanded, "I want you to take me to the Captain."

Confused by the abrupt request, Qui-Gon inquired, "What for?"

"Please, I have to talk with him." Obi-Wan hoped he did not have to explain everything 

Qui-Gon nodded and showed the youth to the engineering room, where he knew the Captain would be. There they found Lessik doing his best to assist Wuan Jeswick with examining the system. They were still trying to determine why the device had been placed and who would have put it there. Only the two crewmen were there, as they did not want to discuss it outside their inner circle. Lessick noticed the two come in and stopped what he was doing. Andon and Riello had found them a little while before, but Lessik demanded that they check in with Kohnwei. The two mentioned that the others would be back shortly, but did not get the chance to explain further. Now, as Fen gazed upon Obi-Wan he frowned. "The negotiations did not go well?"

Obi-Wan answered before Qui-Gon could respond, "No, Captain, your men will be returning shortly. Don't worry they will be fine. I am here because Master Jinn mentioned that you needed parts."

He glared at the Jedi for a moment for a moment, trying to discern the motive to bringing the youth back here. "And?"

Obi-Wan didn't have time for formalities, he wanted answers, "I want to know exactly what the problem is. I might have a solution but I want to know first there is no alternative."

Qui-Gon remained silent. The Captain paused, weighing his options. Slowly he rationalized that his best option was to speak truthfully, to some degree, and hope that he judged the boy properly. Divulging this information could spell their doom or their salvation at the hands of a pirate rogue, but he had to try. He sighed and glanced over toward the Duros, hoping he would understand. "There is no way for us to get off this planet. Even if we manage to repair this thing, we don't have the power to break free of the planet's gravity. We were hoping to obtain the parts we need to get our comms working. And if your companions were generous enough, we were going to repair our beacon droid." His skepticism of the possibilities bled through his tone.

Obi-Wan thought over what the man told him, he sensed that there was something more, but he could also tell it was secondary to the main issue. He would not desert the children on a planet with no concrete guarantee that they would get back to the Temple. Accepting what he was about to do he offered, "Captain, I believe I know of a way to get you home."

Curious, the Captain cocked his head and questioned, "And how do you propose that?"

For a moment he thought, _Tuuvu's gonna kill me._ "You could come with us."

"Excuse me?"

Gathering his courage, Obi-Wan proposed, "We will provide you with a homing beacon so that you may relocate your vessel again. In addition we would transport your crew and passengers to the nearest base so that you may contact your superiors and find transport. In exchange for what I am offering to do for you I request that my family be granted amnesty for their crimes on this ship and prior confrontations."

Lessik laughed incredulously, "And why should we accept this proposal? You could kill us, or sell us into slavery."

Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan mentally prepared himself for what he said next. Yet he no other options and he knew, could feel, that this was the right thing to do. "Because in exchange for all this, I offer myself in their place. You give me your assurances, on your oath as a Captain, that they will not be brought up on charges, and I will remain your captive for prosecution once we get back to Coruscant."

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I am sorry for the delay, but be happy. I gave this chap to TF.N in 2 parts!! The little dashes in the middle is where I divided it. Just imagine the cliffie you would have been left with. :p Anyway, I thought a nice long chap would be nice for my readers. Hope you enjoyed it!! :D

raeamy - Thank you very much!! :D Life will only get more complex. :p

Culf- NP. Sorry to hear it's giving you trouble. :( But I'm glad you enjoyed it and I like getting reviews here and there! ;) Thanks again!! :D

Shan - My friend, I'm sorry I didn't run this past you first. Tell me what you think and if I should change it. If you have any suggestions please let me know. I would greatly appreciate it. :D As you can see, this has been vastly changed from the original drafts I sent you. I hope you like the changes. I don't think he'll find an answer soon. But maybe a path to follow for a while. ;) Believe me, I'm gonna be backing up my stuff a lot more. :D Thanks.

Criket - well, even thought it said it would delete your review, it didn't. Good for both of us, right? :D Anyway, I know, chap 9 wasn't bad, it just wasn't right either. Glad you liked the changes . :) I know, I'm still a little torn between where as to where Obi should end up. SO we'll see what happens. ;)

Ewok Kid - Wow, I'm so glad you are addicted! :8} Gosh, you flatter me so. I don't deserve it. But I thank you from the bottom of my heart!! :D 

Heidi - Thanks for the lyrics. I was able to find something that I thought fit. But I will keep your ideas into consideration for future chaps. ;) Oh and just so you know, I posted that little Vignette I mentioned in my e-mail. :) I'm so glad you like the Tuuvu/Obi relationship. I wasn't entirely sure of how I was going to do it, but as I thought it over, this kinda was the result. I like it too. I hope you like where I take this fic. Um, Qui might not have to fight so much, but there will be a struggle ahead. Um, maybe he will have to fight, but just not exactly who you thought it would be against. ]:) Well, hope you like the most recent chap. It was a dozy to write!

Death Rider - Thank you!! Um, I think I'm gonna have to e-mail you about your review. If you have anything else to say about this train of thought, please e-mail me. Thanks. :8}

ewanobiwan - Well, I'm glad you were surprised with an update. I know how much I enjoy it myself. ;) I think there's still a lot for both Obi and Qui to work out before they can finally fully move on. No it wasn't anyone's fault. But it's also very natural for humans to find something to blame. Yes, there is always the daydreams of 'what if' and I think he will think about them now regardless. But just wait and see what is to come. I hope you like it. ;) As always, thanks for reading!! :D


	13. Chapter 12: Right of Delusion

Chapter 12: Right of Delusion

__

"It's always been up to you.

It's turning around, it's up to me.

I'm gonna do what I have to do.

Give me a little time.

Leave me alone a little while.

Maybe it's not too late." – Tomorrow (Let Go – Avril Lavigne)

The silence was deafening. No one moved since they were still trapped in a shocked stupor. The passing minutes felt elongated by the utter quiet that surrounded them. The young man in the middle of the room waited patiently for an answer to his proposal. Only the tension in his shoulders betrayed the cool confident demeanor displayed. However, a well-trained Jedi never missed a detail. And a proud thought filtered into the Knight's stunned mind, _What a superb Jedi he would have made. What a waste of perfect potential._

Captain Lessik finally broke through his stupor, staring at the youth he asked, "Do you realize what you are proposing? Do you have any idea of what will happen once we return to Coruscant?"

"I understand fully the implications of my decision. Does that mean you accept my terms?" The rogue responded with a certainty the astonished the Captain.

Another moment passed, as Fen took a step closer to Obi-Wan, staring at the youth with a leery gaze. "And what makes you think that I will not retaliate once we are returned to civilization?"

"It's a matter of faith on both parts," Obi-Wan stated plainly, as if it were obvious to everyone. "You are unsure of our plans as we are unsure of yours. If we truly are meant to backstab the other, I am certain we would safely be on our way while you waited here in hopes of a rescue." Now the youth took a step closer to Lessik, brining them within reach of each other. Those captivating sea-change eyes peered into the man, making Fen feel like the boy was staring right through him. Obi-Wan continued is hushed tones, "However, I know how much you care about your men and I am sure you know how I feel about my family. I will not hesitate to protect them, and I will take whatever measures I must to ensure their safety first. I would prefer everything to run smoothly. I trust that you care enough for your men not to risk their lives again." Something flared behind those eyes, a passion full of love and loyalty. Suddenly, Fen realized that if there was no other option, the young pirate could become lethal when the need arose.

"And what assurances do we have that you will uphold your end of the bargain?" His voice a little colder than he intended, the Captain wanted to verify that when they reached their destination the ruffian would hand himself over. 

"I give you my word Captain. I may be a pirate, but I was once a Jedi." He glanced over at Qui-Gon briefly before adding. "I know that you understand the meaning behind that."

For Qui-Gon, the world suddenly seemed to narrow and a new realization birthed. It was true, Obi-Wan was once a Jedi, but he was lost. Now he was in league with a criminal organization and utilizing his Force skills to harm not protect. No matter how light the charges, he would still be considered a rogue Jedi and would have to be dealt with now that he was discovered. The tall Knight's mind raced with new questions; _What will become of Obi-Wan? Is his life as a Jedi over? Will the Council accept him back? Will I have lost him again?_ His heart clenched at the thought. He had felt an emptiness deep within him since the boy's disappearance. He couldn't bear loosing the wondrous young man again. Quickly, he stayed his building panic. _No, the Force brought us together again. His fate is still undecided. There is still a chance._ Ceasing the inner turmoil, he collected his thoughts and found the will to answer. "A Jedi's word is his bond. Falling back on one's word carries grave consequences with it." Clear blue eyes full of compassion gazed down upon his would be Padawan. 

His respect for the corsair skyrocketed astronomically. He knew that Obi-Wan completely understood his position and manipulated it accordingly. Once he was discovered, he would be taken back to the Temple at one point or another. If not now, then when Qui found him again, which he most certainly would. If the thief were to be taken, he would do so on his terms, honourably and with self-sacrifice installed. Although, the self-sacrifice meant nothing to the boy, he was only ensuring the safety of his family. His life was inconsequential to that fact. At that moment, Qui-Gon prayed to the Force and every other god he had heard of that he would be able to save the youth and train him. For the briefest moment he felt something answer his plea, but there was a sense of foreboding and that he would not learn the outcome for some time.

Obi-Wan had been watching the Master for some time during the introspection. He was both surprised and curious about the change in the man. "Thank you Master Jinn," his response sounded tired yet sincere. Once again he turned his attention back to the Captain. "If I were to break our pact, I would forever be pursued by the Jedi to pay for my crimes. You would not fully understand the implications of what happens to a rogue Jedi, but the punishment could be quite severe. So you see, you have everything to gain by this deal, whilst I have everything to lose."

Lessik said nothing while he examined the boy. He didn't know much about the Jedi, but he did know that there were little to no rogue Jedi roaming the universe. He could only assume that there was a reason why, perhaps it was this punishment that dissuades the appearance of such scoundrels. But the rest of the Togorian pirates are not Jedi, but there were rogues. Could he trust them as easily as he could the youth before him? "And what of your Captain, will he honour these terms? The crew?"

"He respects my judgement. He may not like it but he will honour it. Despite his career choice, he is a good man. Better than most out there." His last remark was not meant as a jibe toward the Knight, noticing the proud shoulders stiffen slightly. No, his saddened remark was in reference to the beast who almost destroyed him. He had met a number of unscrupulous characters while under Drrov's heel. Quickly, he dispersed those memories before they could make him sick. Obi-Wan added, "And the crew will follow his commands."

Lessik seemed unaware of the other's reaction while he pondered the deal a little longer. Finally he agreed, "If you can convince your Captain to honour it, I accept your proposal."

Nodding curtly, Obi-Wan stated, "I will be back shortly." With a sideways glance toward the Jedi, he abruptly turned and left the room.

For a moment, Qui-Gon and Fen looked at each other. Softly, the Captain remarked, "So you managed to get your way after all."

"But at what cost Captain?" With that the Knight turned and followed the young man out. Taking a few long strides he easily caught up to the boy. Together they traversed the halls of the crippled vessel. Qui-Gon was still in awe of the expert negotiation the youth just finished. "You handled yourself well, you would have made a Master very proud."

Clenching his fists, Obi-Wan did not bother to look at the Knight. As much as the remark should have been a compliment, it still poured salt on the old festering wound of his past. Through gritted teeth, he warned, "Don't go down that path, Master Jinn."

With even more conviction wrought by glistening hope of the future, Qui-Gon spoke from his heart. "You can not escape your destiny. You _are_ a Jedi."

At this declaration, Obi-Wan suddenly stopped and turned on the man. "I told you not to go down that path. I'm not worthy enough to be a Jedi. I'm jaded remember?" What he had done and what he must do were already draining his reserves of strength. He could not waste anymore on the past he could not change. He just hoped a dose of reality would end this conversation. Unfortunately this didn't have the effect he wanted.

"Then why give yourself up so easily, after you adamantly refused before?" Qui-Gon crossed his arms over his chest and peered down at the young man. 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and shook his head in weary exasperation. "Our attack is the reason why you are stranded here. I did not wish to raid your vessel in the first place but it was too late and I was overruled. No matter what the reason, I will not have young initiates suffer for something I could not prevent." Sighing, he decided to move along. He resigned himself to this course so why worry about what could be. "What difference does it make anyway? I've made my choice. You've won, go enjoy your victory. "

Qui-Gon easily maintained pace with the young pirate. "Obi-Wan, I did not want victory, I wanted the will of the Force to guide us, as it is now. My only concern at this point is your safety. I gave my word to your … _Captain_ that I would take care of you. It will be difficult if I no longer have control. I wish you would see that I am not your enemy."

"I am sorry, Master Jinn. I do know that you are not my enemy but it is difficult to think of you as anything else." It was true, Obi-Wan didn't think of Qui-Gon, or and of the Jedi for that matter, as enemies. However, in no direct terms they did represent a change in his life, and at this point, they represented more cons than pros. _Maybe if things were different somehow,_ he thought.

The Knight seemed to sense his conflict and did his best to ease the situation. "Maybe with time we can be allies again?"

__

Yes, maybe if things were different. Again the thought entered his mind. He wanted to voice such musings, but all he managed aloud was, "Perhaps." 

The pair walked on, only the soft clicking of their boots reverberated off the alloy walls. Lost in their own thoughts, the mute spans between them was finally broken again by soothing baritone. "What do you think your Captain will really say when you discuss your proposal?"

Tuuvu would never give up his cub, that much was a given. What plagued Obi-Wan was how he was going to get around that obstacle. His only option did not taste well in his mouth, he wished there was another way, but he could not find one. "I know what he would say, and I know what I must do to ensure the transaction." Obi-Wan stopped again. Yet when those blue-green portals to the soul looked up at the tall Jedi a haunting melancholy weighed heavily in their depths. The fight seemed to have drained from the youth completely, as he set his mind on the task ahead. That luxurious cultured voice sounded innocent and almost pleading, "Now I must ask a favour of you, Master Jinn. Would you allow me to speak with Tuuvu alone?" Obi-Wan knew it was a lot he was asking of the Knight. To be without supervision while such a bargain was being struck required a lot of faith.

Qui-Gon considered his answer for a long moment before responding, "In order to show you that we will uphold your proposal, an element of trust must be given. Yes, I will permit you to speak with your Captain alone."

"Thank you, Master Jinn." Taking his opportunity before it could be revoked, Obi-Wan headed for the exit ramp. Qui-Gon watched as the youth disappeared around a corner before heading back to their cabins. He had much to discuss with his confidant.

*

Obi-Wan needed some time to himself. He had a lot on his mind and watching children play and meditate while trying to answer everyone else's questions was not his idea of centering his thoughts. Instead he sought refuge amidst the open meadow to draw upon the Living Force. In truth he had never been very good at connecting with that aspect of the Force, but what little strands he could grasp gave him the anchor he needed.

Slowly, he searched for an ideal spot and found one in the shade of the ship. He made his way to it and knelt down into a classic meditative position. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the steady rhythm of his body. The flow of breath entering and exiting his lungs at an even rate and the constant beating of his heart quickly aided him into a light meditation. Once inside the calm, Obi-Wan pursued the Force to guide him. His mind was racing with questions; _How do I tell Tuuvu? Where do I begin? How can I make him understand it's the right thing to do? What will happen if he outright refuses? What about the others? Will they understand why we should do this? Did I make the right choice? Have I promised something I can not deliver?_ These were only a few of the things running through his mind. But what frustrated him the most was that he couldn't find an answer to any of his questions.

He struggled with serenity and exasperation only to have the latter win in the end. His questions did nothing to alleviate the tension growing within him. Torn between what needed to be done and what should be done kept his mind reeling. One last question floated through his thoughts before he gave up completely on his meditation. _Can I live with myself if I betray him?_ Defeatedly, he opened his eyes, dusted himself off and got to his feet.

Glancing around Obi-Wan searched for the imminent return of his family but didn't see anything. Time wore on, eating away at his resolve. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself for the task ahead. There was more at stake here than his conscience. Looking around once more he began to head to where he last saw his family. Half way there, Obi-Wan's steps slowed, something somewhere within him began whispering, but no words could be deciphered. Before he knew it, the youth found himself walking back toward the ship. He came up to the crippled side of the ship tracing a path along the hull. Making his way through the shredded metal, he found an open access port to the starboard's engineering panel. 

Leaning inside, he glanced over the multitude of wires and circuitry. He couldn't believe the mess the boards were in. _We couldn't have done all this._ Toying with the wires, he began trying to repair the damage. It was more out of habit rather than the necessity of doing it, since he knew it was beyond repair. He didn't know how long he was at it when his mechanic's eyes caught something odd. Putting down the flimsy metal rods, he examined the anomaly closer. For a moment, he didn't understand the purpose behind what he found, then suddenly it struck him. A shiver ran up his spine.

So absorbed in his study, he practically jumped when a hand touched his shoulder. "It's alright cub. It's only me."

Spinning quickly, Obi saw Tuuvu, Kuuur, Mrrogh and two humans staring at him. The younger human was eyeing him up suspiciously. Grabbing at the fray, Obi-Wan asked, "What do these wires go to?"

"I was hoping you could tell me." Obser answered without answering, hoping to play a hand he wasn't sure about. Needless to say, he was surprised to find the youth nosing around in the engine, but was more astonished when the boy had found the same thing he had. His real curiosity, _did the boy stumble across it or know about it previously?_

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan decided now was not the time for this. The verbal games would have to wait until later, he had things to do. Addressing the Togorian Captain, Obi-Wan said, "Tuuvu, I need to speak with you."

Tuuvu motioned for his companions to let the humans go. He had returned the men as promised and readied himself to head back. "We can talk later, it's time to go home."

"Please," the gentle cultured voice requested. "We need to talk now. This is extremely important." The Togorian worriedly glanced down toward his cub. Something in the way the youth asked, made the fatherly being heed him. Slowly, he followed where Obi led him. 

The human captives watched for only a moment before retreating inside the vessel. It was almost hard to believe that the pirates were really letting them go. Their guards released their binds and stepped back to give them room. They seized their opportunity to leave as quickly as possible. Which suited the head engineer fine. Nev sent Pev-da to Kohnwei, while he immediately walked the halls toward the main engineering room. He needed to talk to Wuan before anything else could happen. 

As soon as the pair was far enough away from his compatriots, they stood close to speak in hushed tones. Obi-Wan looked up compassionately at the Togorian. "Thank you, for coming to get me."

"You are my cub in every sense except by blood," Tuuvu placed a paw on the lad's shoulder. His booming voice soft with affection. "I could not leave you no matter what the cost."

"You don't know how much that means to me. I hope that what we discuss will not alter that perception." Trying to hold back the tears blurring his vision, Obi-Wan took a calming breath. He could see the questioning glance of the patriarch out of the corner of his eye. How he wished he didn't have to hurt the caring Patron, he hoped that one day Tuuvu would understand. He struggled to keep his voice steady from the bubbling emotions. "I need some information. Is this planet inhabited?"

"Yes."

The rogue's heart fluttered, perhaps he would not have to deceive Tuuvu afterall. However, he would soon learn that the Force had other plans in store. "Are they technologically advanced?"

"No, they are a scattered people with very little resources. Even more primitive than our world," The large being smirked. Togoria was an exotic paradise, but what surprised visitors the most was the lack of technology on the planet. The populace had painstakingly maintained the environment as best they could, employing solar advancements rather than pollutive resource burners. Only items that were a necessity, such as certain transport ships, were dispersed to the people. But even with their limited technology, they were vastly superior to the inhabitants of this little planet. Suddenly, the motive behind the question began to form. Eyeing his cub wearily, Tuuvu asked, "Why do you want to know?"

His head dropped when he knew that his last chance had slipped through his fingers. Not answering, his Patron's question, he posed a new one. "When we were raiding the ship, did you see what most of the passengers were?"

This inquiry made no sense to the older being, still he supplied, "Jedi. It was what we expected, you said so yourself."

"Not just Jedi, but _children_," Obi-Wan emphasized.

The Togorian remembered seeing a number of children from a multitude of races huddled together in one of the ship's common rooms. An impression began to form on his conscience that disturbed him. The Patron always knew his cub was a gentle and caring soul. He just couldn't believe his cub could possibly propose what he thought he was proposing. Trying to dispel his worry, he asked, "What are you trying to say?"

"They are stranded here. They have no way of getting off this planet. And it's our fault." Obi-Wan could see the change in stance as Tuuvu began to figure out what he was thinking. Knowing that Tuuvu had a huge heart for children, he played up to the man's sympathies for hard luck cases. Obi-Wan always thought it odd for such a ruffian to be so soft at times. His voice became gentle as he urged, "We need to correct this. We must take them to the closest station to find a way home."

"Are you out of your mind? The moment we step foot onto a spaceport they will capture us. Then we will not be going home at all." The Togorian growled. There were two things that Tuuvu cared for above all else, more than his own life. The first was his mate, Jorri, his heart and soul. The second was his cub, which he was fortunate enough to be with constantly. Togorians only spent a short time together with their mates during the course of a year. It's something that most of them look forward to quite often. This raid was to be their last before heading home and he did not want to jeopardize their visit. It had cost them enough time already and further delay was out of the question.

Obi-Wan could not allow this subject to close so quickly, "I have spoken with the Captain and demanded amnesty for transport." Hoping this would alleviate some of his Captain's worry, Obi-Wan cringed inside at his deliberate omission of the entire bargain. But if he revealed that too soon, the fatherly being would scoop up the youth and haul him away without a second thought. No, he would have to bide his time for now, no matter how much it hurt him.

"How can we trust him?" Tuuvu countered. He just wasn't sure about it. "He might pretend to be a sweet flower, but even the kleyfly is fooled by the choacha's nectar." The choacha was a beautiful flower found deep within the forests of Togoria. A deep well of an orchid that held a small amount of nectar. Various insects were attracted to the sweet fragrance, none more than the kleyfly, only to find themselves trapped inside. The deep violet bloom would close and hold the insect inside to drown in the very liquor that enticed them.

Obi-Wan thought for a moment but he believed without a doubt that the Captain would keep his word. "I don't think he will betray us. He's a man of principle. He's more worried about getting his men back safely than seeing us imprisoned. He was ready to hand me over the moment you had cut the transmission." Remembering the incident in the medbay brought mixed feelings, but he brushed them aside quickly.

Tuuvu eyed his young ward skeptically, "Can you be so sure?"

"I can sense that his word is his honour. To go back on it would diminish his character." The youth reiterated with confidence.

Still the Togorian leader had doubts, maybe not about the Captain per se, but about the entire set up. Making one last attempt to dissuade his cub from this course of action he suggested, "We should discuss this with Kuuur."

"He will go by what you decide. He may have his moments but he is loyal to you." Not even phased by the proposition, Obi-Wan immediately acknowledged the First Mate's standing. 

Smiling at his cub, Tuuvu also knew it to be true. Despite the occasional conflict, Kuuur would concede to his Captain's commands. The raids were more under Kuuur's control as part of his duties, which is partially why he didn't back down on this recent pilferage. It had marveled the Captain when Obi-Wan suggested Kuuur for the First Mate position. Even in the midst of the pain and humiliation while under Drrov's control, Obi-Wan had noticed Tuuvu's shadow. They had been clanmates as well as shipmates but had also questioned Drrov's leadership. But to do so openly could have led them to their death, so neither ever spoke about it. Tuuvu had risen quickly through the ranks, in some ways he believed it was due to his opposite nature to the beast in charge. Drrov was much more passionate in his endeavours to cause pain and chaos, while Tuuvu remained level headed amidst turmoil yet compassionate. When Drrov finally was thwarted, Tuuvu immediately took command and set about to make changes, but he needed someone to help him. 

During one night when he was caring for the boy he started mentioning his dilemma, not really expecting Obi-Wan to offer his advice. Through the discomfort, Obi-Wan suggested Kuuur. When Tuuvu questioned the youth as to why he thought Kuuur would be a good choice. The boy stated that he noticed the Togorian following the new Captain, heeding his commands and advice. Kuuur was a few years older than Tuuvu but was not even part of the command crew under Drrov. Over the course of the past five years, Tuuvu never regretted his decision. The retrospection flitted across his mind in the span of a heartbeat, but it made its point vividly. "He has proven his worth on a number of occasions. You were always a better judge of character than I," the large being mused. He realized what he had just complimented and rethought his decision. Sighing he gave his answer, "Inform their Captain, if he accepts your terms then we will move them."

"Thank you, Patron." Obi-Wan stretched to encircle his furry mentor and smiled. It felt so good to be in the comforting arms again, and he didn't want to let go. They were his safe haven. From frightening nightmares to debilitating pain, he had found solace in the gentle embrace. A wave of despondency coursed through him when he realized that this might be the last time he was held by the Togorian. 

At last the Pirate Captain broke the circle and pulled back to look the youth over. He was still disturbed by the bruise the adorned the youth's face, but he trusted Obi-Wan explicitly. He would do as his cub wishes, knowing that to deny him would hurt him. What his cub would do for others always surprised elder being. "You are the most selfless being I have ever met. If only the universe had more people like you in it."

"It does. They're called Jedi." But it was a double-edged remark. On one side, it was meant to bring hope that there was good somewhere out in the galaxy. But on the other hand it stabbed at Obi-Wan's heart, he could have been one of them. Instead he was thrown away, apparently not good enough to walk among them. _No,_ he stopped himself, _I will dwell on that path no longer. I have a new road ahead of me and I will walk it with dignity._ The turbulent seas gazed up at the Patron, as he prepared himself for what he had to do. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Wait for me. I'll be right back."

Tuuvu nodded as Obi-Wan hurried back into the downed vessel. He walked over to his crewmates. Kuuur eyed him suspiciously. "Why do I fear that something beyond my control is about to happen?"

"Because it is."

**

Making his way back to the engineering room, Obi-Wan found Capatin Lessik just where he left him. The Captain stopped what he was doing for a moment to look at the boy before returning to his task. "You have news for me?"

All business at the moment, both men were direct and to the point. "My Captain has agreed to give you passage to the nearest base."

Now the older man ceased his ministrations and regarded the rogue. "You're Captain agreed to everything you have suggested to me that quickly?" It was just too difficult to comprehend that the Pirate Captain would give up the very person he came to save so fast.

Taking a step closer, Obi-Wan deterred, "More or less. I want your absolute guarantee that my family will be free to go once we reach our destination."

"As long as you come willingly then they will not be charged," Lessik conferred. 

Nodding, Obi-Wan stated, "Be ready by the time I return. I will retrieve a homing beacon for you. Then we will leave."

"Of course."

The young man abruptly left. Lessik watched as the youth departed before turning back to his head engineer, Wuan. "Collect as much information about this device as you can. Nev, what do you think of all this?" Lessik crouched down next to the open console. 

The recently returned crewman leaned back from his examination of the foreign object placed in their system. He stared at the mass of wires and circuitry for a moment before leveling his gaze with the Captain. "This device is extremely sophisticated. We will need to run tests on it once we get back."

"Help Wuan as best as you can. I need to go and ready our passengers. I'll also need to make sure Griven and his cohorts understand their instructions." Rising to his feet, he turned to leave after their confirming nods. There was much that needed to be done before they left.

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I apologize for the lengthy delay in posts. I wanted to finish up another story and have now worked myself back down to 3. :) I'm still working to finish up one more of those and then I'll really be able to concentrate. However, I am also planning on getting back to a weekly schedule again. I will hopefully be posting here every Monday to get this story rolling. Thanks again for your patience and keep reviewing, it keeps me motivated. :D

Liyanette – Thanks. I like this story too. It's still my baby, and I don't plan on giving up on it. And there's still so much to come that I'm anxious to get too. Stay tuned and hopefully we'll get there soon. ;)

Ewok Kid – WOW, thank you soooooo much. I try my best, and that's all anyone can ask for right? Hopefully those anxious waits won't be so long anymore. Gosh, you flatter me so. :8} I hope I can continue to live up to the expectations you have placed on me. I definitely don't want to disappoint. ;)

Death Rider – I'm not sure how much it explained about Qui's reaction to Obi's plan, but I hope it gave some insight. LOL, I'll do my best to put Qui through some angst for you!! :p

Ani-Coolgirl – Thanks, NP. I've been snooping around for some Rurouni Kenshin fic, I'm still lurking around. ;) Hope you enjoyed. :D

Heidi M – Awwww, :8} Thanks. I'm so happy you liked, oh sorry, loved that chap. I think they could be a very dinamic pair and hope to get into that a little more, but it all depends on how the Force takes us. ;) It wouldn't have been completely out of char for Obi to do something like that, so it's not too surprising. For your chap question, I can't even answer that. But if I had to guess at least another 10-12 chaps, but quite possibly more. And there's the sequels. :p

Ciria – You so rock!! :D :D Let's begin shall we. ;)

Fen Lessik is the Captain. Nev Obser was the engineer working outside and found the first traces of the device. But after he had spoken to Wuan Jeswick, the other engineer, he was knocked out and captured. I hope that cleard some things up.

Yes the pirates are here! Yeah. They want him back desperately, let's hope they can deal with what Obi's done. I tend to think Obi's eye colour changes, sometimes blue, but mostly a blue/green mix and then other times green. They can change slightly with mood and the colours around him. Tuuvu was about to say, "his cub," but caught himself and just said crewman instead. There was a lot of tension and no one has really had the chance to calm down and think about everything. 

Chap 10: Yes, the Jedi, like most people in their first reaction, are only seeing things that benefit them not the other. Obi was fortunate to have Tuuvu take care of him and raise him in the end. I also did want to hint at the differences between how Tuuvu and Qui reacted in similar situations. However, Qui didn't really "know" Obi when he was sent to Bandomeer where as Tuuvu had already "adopted" the boy. 

Ban and Obi had a very close relationship. And sometimes no matter what has happened in life, when your with someone like that you revert back to a safe place where things are familiar and on common ground. For them the teachings of Yoda were a big part of their lives, therefor the peculiar speech brought them together. It also brought them full circle. That's how they parted, that's how they rejoined.

Yes, the world has changed drastically in a matter of moments. Obi has a new life with new obligations and the others have continued on their orignal path. Perhaps they will finally begin to understand the complexities involved.

Cahp 11: That's ok, in a sense so am I. ;) Oh, never you mind, I plan on revealing more of how the two got together and what happened to Obi. There are still some hints that are dropped but I do know when and how more of it will be revealed. You'll just have to wait for it. :p 

I really wanted their reunion to be powerful, I'm so glad it seemed to be. There is so much love between them, to have them nod and sake hands would be disappointing. But will Obi's sacrifice be more than they can take. Let's just hope the Force has plans to make things work out. ;) We'll find out what the would-be Master/Padawan have yet to endure before the question is finally answered. (Will Obi become a Jedi or not?)

Don't fret about length of review, I'm ecstatic when you just say hi! :D

Meggie – I'm glad I have managed to keep up with a number of chars. Sometimes it's hard not to cross personalities. ;) Hopefully more soon. :D

lighted eagle – LOL, well, I'm very happy you enjoy my chaps. Just make sure to take it easy next time. Maybe read a few paragraphs at a time or something. ;)

Random Hp Fan – WOW!! :8} Thank you soooo much. I often wonder if my fic will have longevity/staying power, so to hear that you re-read it, makes me VERY happy. :D I already have the first encounter with Yoda written, it's just a matter of getting there. And as long as the fic does not take a sharp turn toward a different direction. Thanks again. I hope you like the latest installment. :D 


	14. Chapter 13: Conversations of the Proud

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Chapter 13: Conversations of the Proud

"Tahl you should have seen him. His skills as a negotiator are astounding. He will make a great Knight." Qui-Gon finished his recap of everything that happened.

Tahl watched as her beloved paced the room excitedly. In her eyes, he reminded her of the young man she hung around during their first years as Padawans. A small smile lighted her features at the memories, enjoying the change that seemed to wash over the man. How she wished it could have been her to bring about such a dramatic alteration of Qui-Gon's perception, but she knew that the Force had wanted the pairing between her love and the captive pirate. Still, she was happy that someone was able to bring back the vibrant man who seemed lost forever when his first Padawan turned. Agreeing, she said, "I'm sure he would have." Her tone was meant to be bright and hopeful, however there was a hidden element of sadness that drifted along the words. Her emotions were mixed and bled into her observation. 

It appeared that the Knight picked up on the flux, for he stopped pacing. It was not just her tone that stilled his excitement, but her words as well. _Would have,_ Obi-Wan _would have_ made a great Knight. Reality smacked him in the face again, taunting him with what could have, _should have_ been. Slowly, he made his way over to her and eased himself onto the bed. Regret crept into his weathered features. "Why did I not accept him? Why couldn't I see his potential? Could I have truly been that blind?"

"Oh, Qui-Gon," her gentle voice tried to sooth, "you could not see because you were blinded by love."

His head cocked to the side as he looked at her in confusion, "Love? I do not understand your meaning."

Reaching out a hand she pulled his to her, "You have always allowed your heart to guide you. It is your strength - and your weakness. And when your heart was broken, you denied it everything. Your love was betrayed, and in turn you betrayed your heart."

Qui-Gon started at this absurd narration. "You believe the fall of my former Padawan caused me to be blinded to the will of the Force? That I had forsaken everything I had been taught?"

"No," she disputed. Holding on tight to his hands so that he could not escape, Tahl attempted to elaborate, "I am saying that when Xanatos turned you closed your self off from everything and everyone. You hid within yourself to protect and heal your wounded heart. You did everything in your power to ignore the world around you. To save it from further hurt. And when Master Yoda suggested taking on another Padawan, you didn't want to listen."

Qui-Gon sprang from his seat, managing to break away from her grasp and began pacing again. This time in agitated concentration and not the previous enthusiasm he was in. "So I am self-centered?" he snapped sharply.

Quick to defend herself, she answered, "That's not what I meant. You were hurting. You did what you had to do."

"And by doing so, I have destroyed a young boy's life," he countered. "Is that what a Jedi is supposed to do? To be selfish and ignore the will of the Force because it suits their purpose?"

The conversation had taken a sudden turn Tahl never anticipated. Desperate to reverse the damage she argued, "You're twisting my words. I am not blaming you. I'm just telling you what I saw, my perception of what happened. It was neither right nor wrong."

"Does that matter? By ignoring the Force I have altered its destiny. My own self-interest had overpowered my judgement. And with my lack of judgement I may have brought about serious changes." Qui-Gon was caught up in this new ascertainment, showing him the errs of his past in a new light. 

Tahl hesitated for only a moment before getting to her feet and approaching the man. Her hand came up to cup his chin. Softening her tone, the Knight stroked the bristles at the edge of his face. "But we don't know if those changes will be for better or worse."

The weariness in his voice struck her as he posed, "Could denying a Padawanship which forced a child into a harmful situation be deemed anything but detrimental?"

Taking a step back, Tahl maneuvered herself in front of him, a new spark lit her gold and green striped eyes, "You were not the only one involved with that decision. I will not let you shoulder the burden alone. The Council sent him away, not you. He was not chosen by another Master and that is not your fault either."

Despondency consumed the clear blue gaze of her love. "But I was his last chance, and I dismissed him so easily. I cannot deny that I am partially to blame." Qui-Gon allowed his guilt to surface for a moment. Not wishing to afflict his counterpart with such onus, he turned away.

There was silence for a time, while they sorted through the storm of emotions that coursed through the room. At last, she agreed regretfully, "No, I suppose you couldn't." Qui-Gon was always strong-willed and when he believed something wholeheartedly, there was little anyone could do to change that belief. Quietly, she pleaded with the Force to show him that self-recrimination would not change the past.

Maybe he heard her plea, or saw the light himself, for he sighed and continued, "The past is the past and is unchangeable. I can only look toward the future now."

The dwindling ember of hope ignited again. Tahl moved to stand behind him, "That is all any of us can do."

His back was to her still as he spoke, "The Force brought us together again, and I will not miss its calling a second time. Despite possible opposition, I will do everything in my power to right the wrong done against him." Turning to face her, he added with a conviction she had not seen before, "Obi-Wan will be a Jedi Knight."

Stunned, Tahl gazed upon the leonine features etched with determination and cautioned, "You cannot guarantee that. The Council will still have to make the final decision."

"If they are indeed wise, then they will make the correct one. He will be a Jedi." Qui-Gon easily trusted in the Force to make amends and that the Council would as well. They cannot fault Obi-Wan for something he could not control.

But Tahl was not finished, "Don't forget his deal. Not only do you have to contend with the Council, you will have to wait for the Courts to decide as well." 

This new warning seemed to hit it's mark, and at this Qui-Gon's confidence faltered. He knew that there were obstacles, but he believed the Force would guide them through as well. He would have to bide his time to see what is to come. "That is true. Perhaps I will speak to the Council about that as well." _Yes,_ he thought, _perhaps the Council will know of a way around that too. Maybe they could get Obi-Wan to be released to their care._ It was a fleeting hope but an option none the less.

Recognizing his acceptance of reality that they face, the Knight offered one last piece of advice, "Try not to get your self in too much trouble."

The playful hint in her voice made him raise an eyebrow to her. "Why would you say that? Do you think me consistently in situations beyond my control?"

A quirky smirk lit her beautiful face, "No, but I think you can definitely create a few with minimal effort." Lightening the mood with her gentle mockery, Tahl fell into the embrace of her love.

Grinning, he wrapped his arms around the one person that knew him too well. "That's unfair. I….." Qui-Gon paused and looked about. A fraction of a second later she felt it as well. His tone sobered, "They have returned. We shall see if his Captain will even accept the terms now."

Slightly chilled by the uncertainty of their future, Tahl squeezed tenderly. "Do you think he will?"

It took a minute for Qui-Gon to answer when finally he said, "If I were in his place - I wouldn't." Silence clung to the room, creating a deep sense of uneasiness. Yet something whispered to the tall Knight. Not able to discern actual words, he was able to understand its meaning. "However, I have a feeling that he will be persuaded somehow."

Nodding almost imperceptibly, Tahl answered, "I hope he does. The children are getting anxious. I've had Bant concentrating on them, to keep them calm, and helping out Adi and Siri until everything is sorted out. I think some of them suspect that we are stranded."

Qui-Gon readily agreed, "Some of them are very perceptive, it is to be expected."

"If the pirates do provide us transport, I think we will need to keep a close eye on that co-pilot, Griven. I don't think he, or his friends, will be pleased about accepting a ride from them."

"That is most assuredly true. I will have a word with the Captain to ensure they are kept in check." Qui-Gon's tone hardened, "I will not permit another incident like we had in the rec room."

Tahl shivered. From the recounts of her Padawan, Adi and little Tola, she could only imagine the horror that they witnessed. "The thought of what happened still weighs heavily on my heart."

"As it does mine. As a result, I have sworn to Obi-Wan's Captain that I will protect him with my life and that is what I intend to do."

Breaking from the shelter of his arms, she urged, "Be careful. I sense a darkness along the horizon. I cannot get a clear picture but am certain it pertains to Obi-Wan."

"I sense it as well. I will have to keep a close eye on him," the smooth baritone tried to reassure.

"That should not be difficult while aboard their ship. We might even get a better idea of his world while we journey. Maybe you should try and speak with the Captain alone to learn more about Obi-Wan's past." Her suggestion seemed logical however unlikely.

"I do not think that speaking with him alone would be such a good idea in light of our last encounter." Qui-Gon remembered vividly the only time they had met and fought the impulse to touch his forehead. 

But Tahl's thoughts drifted along a different path than Qui-Gon's. "Obi-Wan's experience must have been horrible for even a Pirate to react so rashly."

The thought had already entered his mind, bringing him back to that well hidden trace of guilt. "Or I could have deserved it. I cannot imagine what must have happened to the boy for Tuuvu, I believe, to attack me. But every time I sense Obi-Wan's mind brush close to certain memories, I can feel him cringe." It was an observation he made early on, but was not absolutely sure of. A vacant look would wash over the young face as if trying to protect itself from feeling again. He wished there was some way he could take all the pain away.

Tahl's saddened words cut through his thoughts. "It is deplorable that anyone should treat a child so wrongly. And something one so young should never have to experience."

"I thank the Force that his Captain was able to change that." Qui-Gon's voice was steady, but she still heard the slight quiver of regret. 

"Yes." Drifting in the solitude of their mind, both tried to imagine what cruel things the youth had been put through. But from the disgusting things they had witnessed over their missions, they quickly decided to let it alone. A few minutes passed before Tahl spoke again, "What do you think of this device the engineers found?" She felt a strong need to change the subject, knowing that someday they would find out. 

"I don't know," the Knight answered hesitantly. Qui-Gon's brow creased at the idea of a saboteur. "There's something - familiar - about it, but I can not place my finger on it."

Tahl offered, "Perchance you are diverting too much concentration on the situation with Obi-Wan."

"It is highly likely," the large Jedi also surmised this possibility. "But there is something incredibly illusive about that problem. Maybe when the investigators are able to learn more, I will discover what it is."

"We will have to wait until we can get a crew here to retrieve the ship before the investigators are able to begin." Always practical, Tahl knew what steps would have to be taken before they would receive any answers. 

"Then we should prepare ourselves for that wait," Qui-Gon stated, matter-of-factly. "There is too much happening right now and we will have to take one piece of the puzzle at a time." Something passed behind the cerulean gaze.

Tahl inquired, "What is it?"

His mind brushed the edges of Obi-wan's consciousness. He wasn't sure if the youth had reached out to him or perhaps they were simply attuned to the other, but he could not mistake who it was. He could sense resignation across the fragile bond yet he understood exactly what happened. "I believe their Captain has said yes."

Shocked by this declaration, Tahl gasped, "Really?"

Knowing time was short, the Knight headed for the door. "I must go. I must speak with Obi-Wan."

"I'll be waiting," she called after the retreating figure. She did not doubt his word, but it just seemed so unlikely that the Pirate Captain would give up the youth so easily. But she also knew Qui-Gon would learn as to why.

***

Qui-Gon hurried through the halls trying to catch up to the youth. At a juncture close to the engineering room, he saw the young man walk past. "Obi-Wan," he called.

The young corsair halted but did not turn to face him. "I was wondering how long it would take you to come."

Striding over, Qui-Gon came up behind the young man. "I granted you the chance to speak with your Captain privately, but that was all." 

"I know, and I thank you for that much." There was something in the rogue's posture that gave Qui-Gon pause. The soft cultured voice was laden with a profound sense of regret and a hint of self-loathing. 

Not entirely understanding the cause, Qui-Gon inquired, "Is something wrong?" He reached out to place a comforting hand on the young pirate's shoulder but hesitated just above.

__

You mean besides betraying the one being who's given a damn about me? He berated inwardly. But that way his choice and he knew it. His decision to make and he would have to bare the consequences no matter what. And it was his burden to carry; _alone_. "Nothing you need to concern yourself about. Just get those initiates ready to leave." His resolve began to falter under the weight of said self-affliction.

However the soft response did nothing to alleviate Qui-Gon's concern. His hand still hovering just above the sagging shoulder, the Knight was urged to continue his quest. "So your Captain has agreed to all the provisions of our arrangement?" It was the only thing he knew that could possibly be the cause of such distress, so he pressed the subject.

"Not exactly," Obi-Wan proffered hesitantly.

Finally, the hovering hand rested upon the youth's shoulder. Qui-Gon quickly ascertained what was upsetting Obi-Wan so, "You did not tell him about your sacrifice, did you?" 

Surprise washed though him for a moment at his acceptance to the comforting touch. Quickly replaced by the slow dissolve of his strength, and his voice wavered, "No, I did not." The deception was obviously taking its toll on the pirate. For a moment, Obi-Wan thought it possible he could share this heavy heart with another. But he knew it was futile, no one else would understand the position he was in and that's the way it had to stay. New life burned inside of him. He needed to be strong, strong enough to go through what must be done. He would need the will to carry on for both he and Tuuvu. Suddenly, his slumped shoulders stiffened and his posture changed. Whirling around he glared up at the Knight, "And he mustn't know until it's too late. Promise me he won't know until it's too late." 

Qui-Gon was taken aback slightly by the abrupt change, releasing his grip. "He has a right to kn…."

"No!" he shouted. "He can't know. Not yet. Promise me, Master Jinn, please." Desperation laced his tone.

There was nothing else he could do, so Qui-Gon nodded. He knew that this was the only way top appease the distraught visage before him. If he must play a part in this deception, he would do so for Obi-Wan's sake. He had already pledged himself to the boy and he will do everything in his power to ease the burden.

The quick blaze in the murky depths of his eyes slowly simmered down. Wearily, he acknowledged Qui-Gon's nod. "Thank you, Master Jinn." Taking a moment to recompose himself before facing his Patron again, Obi-Wan began to leave when he noticed Qui-Gon following. "Is there something else?"

"No."

"Then why are you following?" Obi-Wan asked suspiciously.

"Because, I am going with you." When it appeared that Obi-Wan was about to object, Qui-Gon immediately added, "You have completed your private discussion which means you are back under my care. And that means that I will be your constant companion from here on."

Sighing, Obi-Wan knew it was pointless to argue. He remembered from his days as an Initiate a few stories of the Knight's obstinacy. Yet he also knew Tuuvu's dislike for the Knight, which prompted him to warn, "I do not think that is wise."

"Never-the-less, I am coming with you." Qui-Gon reiterated. He had felt the same way after the encounter with the Pirate Captain. However, he did make a promise to protect the boy with his life, and he thought this the only way to prove that he was willing to risk personal danger to do so.

Not in the mood to fight again, Obi-Wan conceded, "So be it. We best hurry, Tuuvu's waiting." Together the pair headed back out to the waiting family.

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Well, here's your post for this week. I hope it wasn't too boring. And don't forget about those reviews!!! They keep me motivated!!! Motivation = more posts!! ;)

Oh, and if you're interested, I finally was able to get my website up. It's rather easy to find. ;) www.arldetta.com Tell me what you think. :D Thanks.

Shanobi - Thank you so much for constant support. And I'm glad you popped in too. Yes, I tend to really embellish my roughs. ;) Don't worry about the spelling. Only I have to worry about that. LOL. Yes, I thought it would add a bit more insight to how much Tuuvu trusts Obi. 

Yes, they are finally getting back to the issues and guarding their emotions mostly. And I can't wait to get to some other confrontations later. ;) But I will be dropping hints here and there about Tuuvu/Obi/Drrov's past. Although, it might end up bringing this fic up to an "R" rating. But we'll have to see about that. ]:)

Banshee Fay - Thanks! I will do my best. ;)

Liyanette - Thank you so much. It did take me a while. ;) Glad it came out decent. 

CassandraD - Aww, but where would be the fun in that? :p He'll find out soon enough. 

Meggie - Well, I am glad I have kept up with my chars. I would hate to mess them up too much. ;) We'll see what happens with Obi. And as long as there is no hungry dog talks, we should be good with regular updates. ;)

Death Rider - AAAWWWW!!!! :8} Thank you soooo much. I really, really appreciate that!! :D :D Now, you shush missy. Don't go giving all the other readers ideas. ;) LOL. You'll have to wait and see what happens. 

Random HP Fan - Gosh, don't worry about it. I'm just ecstatic you review at all. :D Yes, Obi is special. And their relationship is different that what Qui and Obi have in the JA books. You'll just have to wait and see how Yoda and the rest of the Council will react. I hope you like it. Thanks!! :D


	15. Chapter 14: Stoking the Fire

Chapter 14: Stoking the Fire

"Are you out of your mind? How could you agree to such a thing?" Kuuur growled in frustration. What his friend and Captain had just told him was beyond belief. 

Tuuvu knew he wasn't going to like the idea, but there was little that could be done now. "I did it because it's the right thing to do."

"You have gone mad." Kuuur threw his hands up. For a moment he stepped away before turning back to address the commander, "We are Pirates, there is no 'right thing to do.' To them we are criminals and I don't think they care about if we do the 'right thing' or not. You have sold us to the enemy without any thought of your crew."

Shaking his head in denial, Tuuvu stated, "I would not think that cub would have agreed to anything that would place us in danger."

"You let that boy overrule your better judgement. One day you will regret it," snapped Kuuur.

Taking a threatening step forward, he warned, "Watch yourself. He may look young but his judgement is better than most, yours included. And if it weren't for your insistence on raiding this ship, we wouldn't even be in this position."

Never backing from a challenge, Kuuur met the Captain nose to nose, "So this is my fault? Have you forgotten that as _Pirates_ we are meant to raid any passing vessel? This is our means of income. There is no reason to pass up a bounty simply because a little _human_ boy has a bad feeling. If anyone is to blame it's you for insisting that boy be part of our crew."

"You leave him alone." Paws gripped tightly to soft cloth. Through clenched teeth, the devoted Patron guarded, "You were there during Drrov. You saw what he went through. How dare you blame me for saving him? And through all that somehow that boy has persevered and made our lives better. We fight better, think better, move better all because of him. And we have become much more profitable because of him. Do you think that was a mistake? That somehow things just started working for us? No, I tell you. That boy has rescued us, just as much as I have him. He has earned his place on board. Have you?"

Kuuur easily knocked the hands away, "So Drrov would have lead us all to an early grave, a criminal's life is generally a short one. We all accepted that when we came on board. I'll admit that Obi has helped us in the long run. We all lead healthier, richer lives. But I tell you this right now. This - is - wrong. If we take these people to a port I guarantee that you will regret it. That if we make it home in one piece, our lives will never be the same." The Togorian's gut was screaming that all was not right, he just could not determine what exactly was wrong. He had hoped that this was the last time they had to deal with the humans on the other ship. All he wanted was to protect his clan, now he knew that it was impossible.

"If that is what fate decides, then it will be so. I will not go back on my word. I have promised cub and that is final." Before the point could be argued further two figures stepped out of the failed vessel. Easily transferring his aggression to a more appropriate target, Tuuvu emitted a low growl as he questioned, "What is _he_ doing here?"

Before Obi-Wan could answer, the Knight spoke, "You asked me to protect him, did you not?" Qui-Gon did not wait for an answer, "Well, how am I supposed to do that if I am not there to do so?" 

This response did not alleviate Tuuvu's tension, "I told you to make sure nothing happens to him while he's on _your_ vessel. We are heading back to ours, so you are no longer needed."

"In your opinion, not in mine." Qui-Gon remained calm and collected in the face of opposition.

"And you think I will accept your opinion over mine? Go away Jedi, you've done enough."

"Perhaps you might accept this logic better. If our roles were reversed, would you allow all of us to walk away while you sit and wait for us to return? Would you not want at least one of your crew to stay with us in order to guarantee that we would not betray you?"

"Of course, I would be foolish not to," Tuuvu scoffed. 

"Then do you not think we would want the same?" Qui-Gon allowed the logic to sink in. He could see the fury brewing beneath the bright green eyes. It was obvious that the Togorian recognized the corner he had been backed into, but didn't like being placed there.

Tuuvu roared in frustration, he did not like this man. For no other reason other than what he represented; the cause of his cub's pain. If this Qui-Gon Jinn had not rejected Obi-Wan then, his cub would have been spared the horror of Drrov. Of course he would never have met this exceptional young boy, but he would have survived either way. It was Obi-Wan who suffered, and that was unforgivable.

Again it was the cultured voice of his cub that doused the fire, "Please, Patron. He won't be around long. It's best if we just get this over with quickly." Obi-Wan disliked seeing his caring guardian so flustered. He knew the best thing to do was give him a better focus. "We need to get back to _Night's_ so that we can retrieve a homing beacon. I promised the Captain the means to find his ship again."

Turning he greeted his cub by raising a furred hand to brush away the ginger bangs that flopped generously in the youth's face. His tone softened considerably when Tuuvu addressed his lost charge, "We do have a spare." No matter how hard he tried (which in all honesty wasn't very hard at all) he could deny the boy nothing. If his cub asked for the world, he would do everything in his power to get it. Right now, all he asked was to take some children to a base for them to find a way home. His mind quickly shifted to what lay ahead, "Hurry, I must inform the crew prior to their arrival." Pausing to allow the edge to return to his voice, deep emerald eyes bore into the Knight, "I don't want another incident."

"A very wise decision," agreed the Jedi.

"I suggest that you stand in the back and don't speak when we get back." Qui-Gon only nodded, knowing that it was best to simply agree rather than argue. When Tuuvu received his confirmation, he abruptly turned and led the way back into the forest. The group traversed the dense foliage as quickly as possible. 

Before long, the group broke from the ridge of trees into the grove that held the _Night's Scream_. For the pirates there was nothing new to behold. However for the Knight, he encountered a sight he did not expect and stopped in his tracks. The size of the ship was similar to the _Zenah_ perhaps a bit larger. The design of the ship was sleek and planned for speed and stealth. But what caught the Jedi's attention was the hull itself. Most ships appeared either organic or metallic, this ship appeared neither. In the shade of the trees surrounding it the Pirate vessel blended in to it's surroundings. If one were not paying attention, they would certainly pass it without notice. Yet, it was not transparent or cloaked to appear invisible altogether.

He thought back briefly to his time on the bridge during the attack. He remembered as he entered that the crew was frantically trying to locate the vessel. Peering out the viewports they could not 'see' the craft until bolts were fired but seemed to disappear almost immediately. Now he understood why. The ship's hull would take on characteristics of its surroundings to 'disappear.' He also knew that their sensors were unable to track them, which meant that this ship was beyond any technology he had seen in the Republic. 

Qui-Gon's mind raced at this new discovery. From what he recalled about Togorians, was that their technology was limited. Most of it was imported from other worlds. So how is it a group of Pirates had a ship that put most of Republic technology to shame? There was definitely more to all this than met the eye. He was drawn out of his thoughts when he felt the young rogue step up beside him.

Obi-Wan felt the knight pause in wonder. At first he ignored him and kept moving, but when the Knight remained still he decided to collect him. As he approached he could see the Knight's eyes scanning and taking in every detail. He knew instantly how vexed the Jedi was by this peculiar ship. "Master Jinn, I know that you have questions, however we do have a task to complete. Please don't dawdle."

Agreeing, Qui-Gon released his thoughts for later contemplation, "Forgive me. I was admiring your craft."

"Yes, she is special." Obi-Wan headed back toward the hatch.

Qui-Gon glanced down at the youth, wondering how much the rogue knew about the craft. Feeling that some inquiry would not be out of the question, he asked, "Do you happen to know her origin? Where she was built?"

"No, all I know is that Drrov purchased her from an unknown source. The few that were part of his crew at the time were so glad to be off of their old ship, they never asked any questions." There were mixed emotions roiling beneath the surface. Qui-Gon wanted to learn more, but thought it better to let it go for the moment. He had so much to discover, so much to catch up on, and he knew there would be a time to do so.

Obi-Wan was preoccupied himself and wasn't really in the mood to answer questions. But it would be against his nature to completely ignore them. As they had walked, his mind pondered the minor altercation that happened previously. Tuuvu's frustration was a direct result of the burdens he had placed on the Captain. It had been years since there had been so much hostility brewing beneath the surface. How he wished he could tell his guardian that everything would be ok and dispel his worries. Yet he knew that it would only be a lie. Another idea surfaced, if he could not help Tuuvu, perhaps he could show Qui-Gon what he was leaving behind. In order to prove that his place among his family was right and secure, Obi-Wan would need to alter Qui-Gon's perception of the most important being in his life. Just before they entered, Obi-Wan paused, "Master Jinn, please don't think unkindly of Tuuvu. It's just…" The words trailed off, not knowing exactly what to say.

"It's alright, I understand, he's a father trying to protect his son." Qui-Gon had felt the change in the youth. A weight seemed to descend upon the young shoulders with every step. He gathered it had something to do with his family, but was not entirely sure what to expect. His years of missions proved once again how valuable they were. When Obi-Wan was not able to finish his thought, Qui-Gon was able to easily read the situation and fill in the blanks. Still his own words surprised him. Did he truly know the situation so well? 

Nodding slowly, Obi-Wan agreed, "Yes, yes he is." Taking a deep breath he whispered what was really bothering him, "And I'm afraid, afraid of what my betrayal may do to him."

Qui-Gon was taken aback slightly, for the first time he fully comprehended what the corsair was about to do. This father-figure had risked everything to find Obi-Wan and in return for the love demonstrated, Obi-Wan would leave his father in the end. Quietly, he suggested, "Perhaps you should tell him."

Shaking his head jerkily, Obi-Wan reiterated, "I already told you that's not possible. If he knew, you wouldn't have made it this far. No, it has to be this way." No matter how much it would destroy him to do so, Obi-Wan had already struck the bargain and he would go through with it.

Watching the load press harder down on the rogue, Qui-Gon offered what solace he could. "I will do whatever I can to help you through this." He hoped it would be enough. And he hoped that by doing so, some of the old wounds could be healed.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Thank you, Master Jinn." With nothing left to say at the moment, together the pair headed inside until they caught up to the Captain. 

Just as they entered the bridge, Tuuvu made his way up to a black and white coloured Togorian. ["Grruun, I need you to patch me into comms."]

["No problem, Cap."] The communications officer said without turning. His hands sped over some controls until they heard a light beep. ["You're on."] Turning around as he spoke, Grruun noticed the stranger and stared at him suspiciously.

Tuuvu nodded and removed a small comm unit from his belt to speak into. ["Attention all hands. Your presence is required in the briefing room in 15 minutes. And I mean everyone. Tuuvu out."] Replacing the link on his belt, the Captain spyed the Jedi again snarling, "I do not want you to leave my sight again. Understand?" Again, Qui-Gon nodded. "Good, Kuuur, Grruun come with me. We have a few things to go over before the meeting starts." 

Moving quickly they headed for the briefing room. Once securely inside, Tuuvu began, "Grruun, where's the nearest spaceport?"

The younger Togorian sat at his usual place and activated the comm pad in front of him. After a moment, he replied, "Onderon. There's a large port at Iziz with a number of others."

"How long for us to get there?"

"Approximately 5 hours, sir." The communications officer waited and watched his Captain. This all seemed very irregular, but it was not his place to question his commander. 

Tuuvu pondered this information for a moment before addressing the large human standing quietly in the back. "Is that satisfactory to you?" The edge still ever-present in his voice but considerably lessened.

Qui-Gon ignored it and answered the question, "Yes, we should be able to find transport from there."

"Good," the Captain stated, but thought aloud, "now what do we do with your people until then?"

Kuuur finally found his opportunity to speak again and did so freely, "I suggest they be kept in the stockade or Cargo bay."

Caught off guard by the absurd proposal, Tuuvu immediately refused, "We will not. They are mostly children."

"Who are also Jedi," the Firstmate pointed out. His obvious disdain for Jedi was not hidden for his general dislike for all offworlders. He knew that his acknowledgement of their affiliation would not be completely ignored by the Captain. Tuuvu had his own issues with Jedi, but his ideals about how children should be treated overruled even that. Glancing at the cause of all this unrest, another reason for his proposal presented itself, "And a crew that doesn't mind beating on a young one." Kuuur pointed out the facts, gesturing for a moment towards Obi-Wan who had remnants of the fight in the rec room still visible. 

Obi-Wan shifted, not appreciating to be used in such a manner. Feeling the youth's discomfort, Qui-Gon quickly jumped in, "Only a small few were involved and we stopped it before it could escalate." He had hoped to set aside any fears of a repeat incident. Apparently, it didn't work.

Kuuur argued, "_A small few_ are capable of sabotage and causing trouble."

Squaring his shoulders, Qui-Gon effecting an imposing stance on the subject. "The Jedi would not allow any problems to occur while on board your ship."

Not quite finished, Kuuur pointed at Obi-Wan again, "You _Jedi_ have no issues dismissing your own children. Why should we trust you?"

Obi-Wan was not about to sit back any longer and snapped, "Jedi are Guardians of the Peace, if there is anyone you can trust it's them. That is a completely separate issue. Right now, all you need to do is obey your Captain." The rogue had no qualms with being curt at that moment having been used twice for some things he wished to forget. Turning to Tuuvu he added, "I will offer my room for some of them to stay in while in transit."

Caught in a precarious position Tuuvu's mind reeled. On one hand he agreed completely with his Firstmate. He disliked and distrusted this man. It did not really matter that he was a Jedi or not, the fact that this man was part of an organization that turned his cub away infuriated him. On the other hand, this same group, were the ones to initially raise his cub. Instilled the virtuous values that exude from the youth. His perception had been coloured by his love and devotion for the wayward child that he placed so much trust in Obi-Wan. And for the first time he questioned his judgement. The Jedi had obviously made a mistake in sending Obi-Wan away, was it possible that his cubling could be wrong now? He didn't know, and with his world in question, most of the anger dissipated. No matter the question of his beliefs, he would still not permit children to be treated so callously. Gently he said, "Thank you cub. Master Jedi, do you think the crew of the ship would fit in this room?" Here, they could easily be monitored while not being so oppressed by 'imprisonment.'

With the return of civilized conversation, Qui-Gon replied matter-of-factly, "Yes, there should be enough room to accommodate them."

"Good, it would be best if neither side intermingled too much while on board. We will see what other rooms we can use for your children." Kuuur was about to protest but before any more could be said, a few crewmembers walked into the room. Despite the desire to argue, Kuuur was well trained and refrained from making a scene in front of the entire crew.

As they entered, most smiled at the sight of Obi-Wan. The news had spread like wildfire that he was left behind. When they followed the ship down and heard that he was still alive, many anticipated his return. Most of them took a moment to talk to or hug the youth before finding their seat. Yet as soon as they spotted the tall Jedi, they became leery and tense. A few of them growled lightly while others bared their teeth in outright disapproval.

Qui-Gon wasn't even phased by their displays as he continued to observe how the Togorians interacted with Obi-Wan. A few would linger longer than others and some would simply nod from a distance. Two of them remained by the youth's side until the meeting started. Both appeared younger than the rest of the crew, as best as he could tell. Obi-Wan graciously accepted everyone's thoughts and words, however Qui-Gon could still see the taut muscles even from a few feet away. 

For Qui-Gon, he could only guess at what was being said, from body language and his Jedi senses. The crew spoke in their native tongue except for Obi-Wan. His own mind registered the members by coloration and estimated age. Right now he watched as a multi-coloured male hugged the rogue while a grey long haired youth waited anxiously near by.

Obi-Wan stood with his friends next to him, somewhat taken aback by all the attention. Never really considering himself an important member of the crew, he was unprepared for the resounding welcome he was receiving. With each passing moment he began to doubt the validity of his bargain. Began to think that he had made the wrong choice, interpreted the Force incorrectly. Here were people who loved and accepted him, and he was about to leave it all behind for persecution and speculation. How could that possibly be the correct path? But it was too late. He had given his word, knowing he could not escape that path for very long. Now he wondered if the easier, logical path was worth the disappointment and pain he would inflict by his betrayal? He wished he could enjoy this reunion, but the taunting future denied him all possible pleasure. 

The young calico released his friend saying, ["We thought we would never see you again. Are you alright?"] The feline being noticed his friend's rigidity.

Obi-Wan tried to sound confident, "I'm fine, Li."

Liior did not buy the feeble response, picking up some underlying issue but not understanding what it was. ["You don't look fine. Did they do that?"] Liior motioned toward the still bruised eye.

Shifting again under the scrutiny, Obi-Wan gave the same response he offered his Patron, "It was a misunderstanding. Just let it go."

["Stop pestering him, Li. He's been through enough already. Obi will tell us when he's ready."] Naeci tried to calm the situation. The trio was close and each was well aware of how protective Li could get. He could hear the edge in Liior's voice and knew that the youth could sometimes be as passionate as his father. Naeci glanced over at Kuuur for a moment and noticed the man's whiskers twitching, a tell tale sign that the man was 'unhappy.' Curious, he turned back to his friends, ["So, what's going on now?"]

"You'll see," Obi didn't want to reveal the purpose before the initial announcement. Liior and Naeci found seats next to him and waited for their Captain to speak.

Well within the time allotted, the entire crew arrived. As soon as they were all there, Tuuvu addressed them. ["I have an announcement to make. It has been requested of us to transport the passengers of the raided vessel to the nearest base."] 

Many growled in frustration while others voiced it allowed, ["You can't be serious! No way! It's a trick!"] 

Tuuvu raised his hands to calm the swarm and continued, ["I understand how you all feel. And I do share most of your concerns, however, as your Captain I have decided to accept."]

["What? Why? How could you do that?"] The questions came from all sides.

Their leader responded truthfully, ["You know that our goal is never to harm children during our raids, either voluntarily or involuntarily. Most of the passengers on that ship are children. If we can assist them in getting to safety, then that is what we should do."] The protests quickly quieted. Not because there weren't any protests, but because they understood and followed the mandate set forth by their Captain. Under their codes of conduct, they had agreed to what he said, and so they would follow it without question. 

Recognizing that they comprehended his reasoning, Tuuvu added, ["I request that you be on your best behaviour. This should only delay us a few hours, then we will head home. Is this understood? Now, are there any questions?"]

["We're not going to cater to them, allow them the run of the ship, are we? I don't think we want them snooping around while they're here."] Their co-pilot, Soarn cautioned. Rumblings of agreement coursed through the room.

["No, they will not be roaming freely. We are still working out all the details, but cub has offered his room for some of them to use. And the ship's crew will stay in here."]

["They can use my cabin, too,"] Liior offered. The young Togorian always does his best to help out, especially when he knows Obi-Wan has approved. Kuuur's entire body tensed, only the trained eye of the Jedi noticed.

["Thank you, Li. If we need any more room, I'm sure others will step up to help out. Now, I suggest you all prepare yourselves. They will be here shortly. You are dismissed."] Tuuvu concluded the all to brief meeting. There were preparations to make and he wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.

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I would like to apologize for the lengthy delay in getting this chap up. This was the hardest chap I have had to write thus far. It took me 4 takes just to get a decent enough draft to expand on. Not that it was action packed or anything, but because I just couldn't deal with writing something that I would consider boring. The semi-good news is that I think my muses are starting to come back to me again, so I hope and pray(as I'm sure you are) that this won't happen again. *crosses fingers*

Anyway, don't forget to review. They really do encourage me to write!!! *hint, hint* Review, PLEASE!!

Cricket – Aww, you're sweet. Thanks! :D

Ciria – Oh how I miss your reviews. ;) Wonderful review per usual. ;D Now you have to remember Qui is still a little delusional. He doesn't quite see the big picture yet, where Obi's concerned. Don't be surprised if Yoda does take a part in Obi's return. But how that all pans out has yet to be written and seen. ;) Yes, for a pirate, Tuuvu has a certain standard. And his crew also must have those standards, of course there is always room for some disagreement, but in the end they are all the same. Obi has always been Obi, but Tuuvu's care has steered him clear of a darker path. It's possible that if Drrov were still around, bitterness and unhappiness could have fostered a different Obi. As for a kleyfly, I made it up. hehe It didn't seem like tooo much was know about Togorians and Togoria, so I figured I could develop that as I go. ;) I would consider it like a normal fly and a choacha is similar to a venus flytrap. Although not exactly. I remember seeing a plant like a choacha but can't remember the name. :8}

Yes, Tahl is the voice of reason. Qui hopefully will see the light soon enough. You'll just have to keep an eye out. ;) You know I really do love reading what people take out of my stories. Sometimes, they see things I never noticed myself. Like my subconscious hinted at something I had no forethought of. For example, I would have thought the horrible time under Drrov would have justified Qui's line about dismissing Obi-Wan as detrimental. Instead, you see how that decision has brought out a part of Obi that feels and sees love, in Tuuvu. I don't know if Qui would do something low. But then again, like I said, it's possible that his perception may change. ;) And as much as I would like something bad to happen to Qui, I think the Force felt it was time for Obi to return home. Just wait and see. I have a lot of things planned and hopefully you will enjoy the journey we still have yet to take. :D

AWWWWWW!! Thank you sooooo much, your words really mean something to me. I would be utterly and completely honoured to be on your fav list. Like I said, this was a major hump in my writing style. But I am really hoping that my muses are back and I'll be able to move on again. And I'm glad you like my site. I'm, hoping to update it again soon. And I had fun making the graphics. Thanks again! You – Are – The – BEST!! :D

Meggie – Here's a whole truckload of bones for our furry friends. ;) Yes, I thought Qui would have some emotional stretches now and then. Afterall, he's still human. I hope you enjoyed this chap. And maybe if I can convince my muses that writing chaps is better than mouthfulls of sharp pointy teeth we can get more chaps for you. :p

Jedilittlebee – I would like to thank you for reading my work. It touches me deeply to see people go through my profile and check out other things I have done. It means more to me than words can express. I feel that many of my stories(although similar in writing style) have a touch of their own personality. Thank you again! Yes, as much as I don't like Qui, I think there is more on the horizon for his char as well. Obi and him will have to go through trials *IF* they are to be paired in the end. But going through them will definitely be good reading for you guys(I hope!) So are you a Master of Patience now?? I would be very surprised if you aren't! :p

Lighted eagle – Hey you. You trying to confuse me?? ;P LOL, you crack me up!! Thanks. If you really want to hail me as anything you can call me Master!! Mwahahaha. *cough* Uh, well, maybe Lady? It's up to you really, whatever you want. I answer to anything. :D

Death Rider – Wake UP!!! No, don't die on me!! That's one less person to review. Besides then you'll never find out the ending of the story!! Death, please wake up! Can you hear me? I'll try and get you some Obi-Torture soon. Just give me a few more chaps. Honest, please come back! *runs around room screaming frantically*

LOTRFaith – Thanks!! I really appreciate you letting me know!! Means a lot to me. Hope to get more up soon. Keep an eye out!! ;)


	16. Chapter 15: Appearances can be Deceivin...

Chapter 15: Appearances can be Deceiving

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"We don't fare well with endless reprimands

We don't do well with a life served as a sentence

This won't work well if you're hell bent on your offence

I am a man who understands your reticence." – A Man (Alanis Morisette – Under Rug Swept)

Most of the disgruntled crew returned to their stations to await the arrivals. However, a few did linger behind. The Captain's weary gaze transferred from his cub to the Jedi and back again. Liior had stayed to talk with Obi but wasn't able to for very long, as his father pulled him aside. In a corner, Kuuur and his son argued quietly. 

Meanwhile, a tan and black Togorian approached the rogue. Tuuvu could see his young charge cringe slightly under the medic's attention and was about to rescue him when he was stopped by an old friend, ["Do you think this is wise?"]

Tuuvu turned to regard the dark grey Engineer. Shrugging, he replied, ["I'm not sure what I should think. I know that this is the right thing to do. But Kuuur had a point. In their eyes we are criminals, would it matter what we do?"] 

["In my experience, once deemed a criminal, always a criminal. I suggest we watch them carefully."] Both were gazing at the Jedi now. ["He's one of the Jedi, is he not?"]

Tuuvu nodded, ["That is Qui-Gon Jinn."] So many emotions poured into the simple statement. His comrade's eyes widened in shock. Many of the Pirate crew had heard the name. It had almost become legendary, amongst a few other names - some good, some bad and some in-between. Of course, not much was actually known about him, merely what he represented. After a tense moment passed, allowing the Captain to gain control again, he changed the subject. ["We will need our spare homing device for the other ship. Can you please get it ready for us, Benhd?]

Nodding, the head engineer answered, ["Of course. I'll do that now."] 

["We'll be down to pick it up shortly."] Benhd lingered for a moment longer, sensing an underlying issue that wanted voice. But decided against pushing the subject and left to get what his Captain asked for. He knew that there would be a time to discuss what was really bothering the Commander, just not presently. So he resigned himself to his task, waiting for the best opportunity to approach the subject again.

Tuuvu's gaze drifted back to his cub and the healer. It was obvious that their issue had not been resolved. He quickly made his way over to see what he could do to smooth everything out. Despite the tension engulfing everything, Tuuvu couldn't resist the chance to tease his friend, ["Naaur, you know how cub is, why do you even bother?"]

["Because I would not be a healer otherwise. It's my job."] The medic replied in a mix of exasperation and annoyance. He returned his attention back to Obi-Wan. ["Why won't you let me exam you?"]

Forcing himself not to stomp away like a spoiled child, Obi-Wan crossed his arms and stated with as much conviction as he could muster, "Because, I'm fine." The pair stood, staring the other down. Silently willing the other to bend to their wishes. 

["Fine, huh?"] The healer struck out suddenly with his paw and connected with tender ribs. It was not a hard hit, just one meant to make a point, which it did. Obi-Wan grunted and winced in pain at the flare in his burnt side. ["Mrrogh told me about the mishap on the ship. And based upon the bruise under your eye, I would bet my life that more has happened since then."]

Obi-Wan fought to regain his calm center. He just couldn't understand why Naaur was pushing so hard for this. Most of the time, Obi could convince him to leave well enough alone, as long as he said he was fine. This time however, the Healer seemed determined to go through with his threat. Unfortunately, the youth had already resolved that an examination in this instance was out of the question. Not only because of his natural aversion to being a Healer's next victim but also due to the fact of the pending betrayal. If he relented to Naaur's request then they would discover that his injuries were beyond a bruised cheek and blaster wound. And they might get the impression that the Jedi forced him into this proposition instead of willingly complying. And that couldn't be further from the truth. He just couldn't let them see that he had been hurt while in Jedi care. It would ruin everything he had done. When he felt he could speak without sounding winded or in agony, he replied, "It was a misunderstanding. Besides, their Healer checked me over while I was there."

Naaur gasped at this news, fueled by fresh anger the healer barked, ["So you let a complete stranger exam you?"]

"It's not like I had a choice. I was unconscious at the time." Cringing, Obi-Wan knew the instant the words left his mouth that he probably made the situation ten times worse. From under shaded eyes, the rogue glanced up Naaur. He could see the shifting emotions clearly in the fiery gaze and waited for the scolding he knew would come. 

["Unconscious? This just keeps getting better and better."] Naaur spun around and threw his hands up into the air. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing. Although the medic should have guessed something like this had happened. For as long as he had known the boy, since he had first come on board, this battle repeated continuously. Remembering a time years ago when Obi-Wan had broken an arm during a raid. It took them at least a week to discover the injury let alone treat it. The Healer simply could not comprehend this aversion to medical treatment. ["I just don't understand you, Obi. We are your friends. Why won't you let us help you?"]

In all honesty, it was never a factor of letting them help, just that he could not bring himself to ask for it. It was not that he didn't trust them completely, because he did. But more a matter of self-reliance. His time under Drrov magnified his natural need not to burden others. Initially, he fought Tuuvu's help afraid of the consequences that the First Mate would face if discovered more than what was happening to him. A shiver ran through him at the single memory, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been but it disturbed him none-the-less. The truth of the matter was so simple that it was unbelievably complex. Before his mind could fathom a proper response, his mouth spoke for him. "I can take care of myself." It was a childish answer. The rogue realized that most of his conversations with the medic had a certain level of immaturity. He would have laughed at the thought if not for the intensity of more prevalent emotions. He did not want to insult his friend's caring efforts.

Tuuvu had been listening intently to the pair. The healer's words were very compelling as well as the new facts that were revealed. He found that it was time to step back into the conversation, ["Perhaps Naaur is right. We just want to make sure you are ok, Cub."]

Pleading, hurt eyes peered up at the Captain, who barely stood his ground against the gaze. He instantly wanted to take back the words as they were obviously torturing his son. He just didn't understand why they had stung so badly. The youth's voice was childlike when he spoke, cutting to the very core of the Togorian, "Please, Patron, don't. I can take care of this on my own."

Naaur turned around staring at the boy. Thoughtfully, he placed his hands on Obi-Wan's arms, drawing the boy's attention back to him. His compassionate eyes conveying his concern and sincerity all at once. ["We have never doubted your abilities. Just know that there are times when you don't have to do it all by yourself. Too often, I think you walk around carrying the weight of the galaxy squarely on your shoulders. And for once, I would like to see you look to others to help you carry that burden."] The changing tides signaled Naaur's reluctant concession at last.

Thankfully, Obi-Wan nodded. A brief wry smirk was misconstrued by most of those around him. Naaur just didn't know how close to the truth he had gotten with those remarks. He sobered quickly however, recognizing the deep worry and devotion pouring from the man. His tone reflected his gratitude for the concern proffered, "Thanks, Naaur. I will remember that. And if it will make you feel any better, as soon as I feel it's something I can't handle, I will ask for help." His gaze flickered toward the large quiet being in the corner. The Jedi met his stormy eyes, realizing it was partially in reference to the quick discussion they had outside the ship a short while ago.

Relaxing a little, Naaur muttered, ["I guess that's the best I'm going to get out of you for the moment. But if you so much as ache for an instant I want your butt in my ward, understand?"]

"Yes, sir." Obi-Wan replied with a grin.

["Imp."] With that the medic turned to leave, he paused next to Tuuvu and placed a hand on the Captain's shoulder. ["If you need anything, let me know."]

["I know, Nay. Thanks."] The healer nodded, patted the shoulder and then left. Glancing down at his cub, he offered, ["You know he only means well."]

"I know. I just don't have an explanation that you would understand." Before they could discuss the matter further some low growls caught their attention. 

Kuuur and Liior were standing nose to nose. Tuuvu quickly moved to intercede. ["Kuuur, calm down. This will not do either of you any good."]

Obi-Wan knew what more than likely caused the dispute and did his best to smooth things over, "We have other rooms, we can find a place for the initiates…"

["No, Obi,"] Liior countered, ["It is my room and I will do with it as I wish. Despite what others might think."] His eyes narrowed further, never leaving the gaze of his father's.

["You are still my son. And you will do as I command,"] bellowed Kuuur. He was not about to allow his son to welcome Jedi into his room. 

However, Liior could be just as stubborn and stuck to his primary justification. ["When I came on board, I became one of the crew. Just because you are my father, does not mean I cannot contribute."]

Kuuur was about to rebuttal when Tuuvu cut in, ["Enough! You will stop this bickering. Liior is correct. He has the right as crewman to offer his cabin to help others."] He moved so that Kuuur could see him fully as he continued, ["This will only be for a few hours and then it will be over. I suggest you take some time to relax before the passengers arrive. I will not have our people be the one's to instigate trouble."]

Roaring one more time, Kuuur stomped away. Tuuvu watched his First Mate leave, wondering if things would ever return to normal. Obi-Wan moved closer to Liior and placed a hand on the frustrated Togorian's forearm. Qui-Gon remained still in the shadows, until he felt the Force gather in the room. He quickly realized that Obi-Wan was drawing the soothing powers to him and around his friend, visibly seeing the Togorian relax. The scene was not uncommon, he had seen it many times in the Temple between students and friends. However, he wondered why he felt there was something more to it. Suddenly, as if a sheer coverlet had been lifted from his eyes and he saw the picture clearly. The implications of this discovery were vast but he would need to confirm his assumptions later. The need to address a more urgent concern was pressing. "Captain, may I have a word?"

Still annoyed with the various disputes he had just helped quell, Tuuvu was not so eager to answer the Jedi's call, "Yes, Master Jedi. What is it you need now?"

Drawing up close, Qui-Gon ignored the hint of animosity in the voice and drove straight to the matter. "Do you think your man will be difficult?"

"No," he dissuaded as he stared at the door. Reaffirming his belief in his crewman, he added, "He will do what he is told. He just has a lot on his mind."

A little wary still, Qui-Gon muttered, "I hope he does not do anything rash. He seemed very upset."

Tuuvu let out a quick huff of air. _Upset_ is putting it mildly. No, his friend was livid, and he knew as to the reason why. Not wishing to go into the details of his First Mate's life with a virtual stranger, he stated, "He is - complicated. Don't worry yourself. We will be out of each other's hair soon enough." Pausing, Tuuvu thought about what he wanted to say next. It was not that he couldn't find the words, but rather the voice to say them. Finally he determined it would be best just to spit it out, "And I would like to thank you for not interfering. I feel it might have made things worse."

"As do I." The room suddenly grew uncomfortably silent, yet no one dared break it. Some minutes passed when the Jedi tapped into his diplomatic reserves and shattered the reticence. "When will we be ready to leave? I am sure we are all anxious to end this as quickly as possible."

Thankful for the reprieve as well as the change of subject, Tuuvu answered, "Benhd should have the homing device ready by now. We can retrieve that and collect your people."

Qui-Gon nodded. Behind him, he heard a hesitant voice inquire, "Captain, may I make a suggestion?" He knew instantly, it was not Obi-Wan and suddenly it dawned on him. During the meeting and he venture into the Pirate vessel, the Captain and crew had addressed each other in their native tongue. He had assumed it was due to the fact that they did not know any other language, only a select few were versed. His assumption had been undeniably wrong. This insight spoke only of their distrust of a foreigner in their midst. Apparently, they had felt more comfortable discussing things without outside interference and utilized their language as a buffer from it. Lost in his musings, Qui-Gon almost missed what was being said. 

"Go ahead Li." Tuuvu urged his crewman on. Qui-Gon once again noted the Captain's tone. It was commanding yet not overbearing, which showed the Jedi that he valued all his comrade's opinions. 

"Wouldn't it be easier if we just move the ship closer? Then as soon as they are on board we can take off. Otherwise we would have to wait for you to walk back and then turn around with 30 some odd people following behind. It would only delay us all the more."

Staring the young Togorian in the eyes, his jaded gaze sparkled with pride. Liior was almost like a nephew to him and he always relished the youth's simple yet fresh reasoning. Reassuring the boy with a smile, Tuuvu said, "Point well made. I will have Trruud and Soarn get us airborne immediately. Cub, go and get the device from Benhd and meet me when we land." His tone held an edge of ice as he addressed the large human, "Master Jedi, you - can stay with Obi-Wan for now. Don't make me regret it." Qui-Gon only nodded. Tuuvu hurried out to begin the preparations, leaving the trio behind before he could regret his decision.

Silence lingered as the door slid shut. Obi-Wan felt a growing need to get this over with. "Come along, Master Jinn." He began heading for the door when he heard Liior question.

"Jinn? _Qui-Gon_ Jinn?" Liior's expression changed as he peered at the Knight. His lips tightened and his eyes narrowed, circling the man who was more of a legend to the Pirates finally given form. 

Qui-Gon in turn steeled himself for possible attack, based upon that last time someone heard his name. "Yes, I am. It seems my reputation has preceded me." Failing at an attempt to make the comment light.

Moving closer to the Jedi, Liior restated, "This is Qui-Gon Jinn?" He turned to look at Obi. "So he's the reason, not just the simple fact Jedi are involved."

"What do you mean _reason_?" The Knight wondered.

"The tension around here," Liior replied, amazed that it was not obvious to the Jedi. "It's so tight it could snap any second. Can't you feel it?"

"Of course I can sense it." In fact, now that Qui-Gon thought about it, he realized that the Force practically pulsed around him. With little effort he could feel the life forces of those occupying the ship and in a strange way the ship itself. Obi-Wan's was the brightest of all the signatures around him but there were others that he could sense easily, including the young Togorian in front of him. He knew that his suspicions could wait no longer and it was time he brought them to light. Cautiously, he confronted the cat-like Pirate, "Would you permit me to do something? It won't hurt. I am just curious."

Liior glanced over at Obi-Wan for some indication. Obi-Wan had been observing the Knight during the entire exchange and surmised what the Knight was trying to get at. Knowing how futile it would be to hide, he gave a quick nod that Liior repeated to Qui-Gon. The Jedi came to stand directly in front of Liior. Raising his hands to hover on either side of Liior's head, he closed his eyes to concentrate. 

Obi-Wan watched on in curiosity. He remembered hearing that when Knights were sent to examine a child for Force Sensitivity they would first assess the subject by feel. Harnessing the Force, a Jedi Master would attempt to _feel_ the subject in the Force before administering an invasive midi-chlorian test. It was a way to determine potential. The rouge knew exactly what the Knight was doing, and also knew precisely what he would find.

A minute passed when Qui-Gon opened his eyes again. Instead of speaking to the Togorian in front of him, he glared at the youth. "How long have you been teaching him?"

"Almost four years." Obi-Wan hid nothing. 

"Tahl told me briefly that her Force suggestion was ineffective when we were initially boarded. That was you're doing?" Obi-Wan did not reply but his defiant stance spoke for him. Nodding, Qui-Gon pondered the implications of this discovery. There was so much to learn about the lost Jedi and he was only stumbling along the edges of the vast world beyond. Turning once again to the Togorian, Qui-Gon mentioned, "He should have been identified earlier."

"He might have, if his father would have allowed it." Obi-Wan had come to know his companions quite well during his short time with them. And he knew their motivations as well.

Qui-Gon's gaze flickered to Obi-Wan before settling back on Liior, "Your father knows?"

To his credit, Liior did not flinch under the man's harsh glare. In fact, stood taller, prouder as he spoke, "Do not judge him so quickly, Master Jinn. He has his reasons." 

"Master Jinn, that is another matter entirely. We should concentrate on the issues at hand." Obi-Wan slipped into his usual business mode. Knowing the reasons behind Kuuur's decision, he did not fault the man for them. It is the right of every parent to decide to give up a child or not. Kuuur had made the decision long before Liior was even born. 

"You are correct. Shall we head down to Engineering?" Qui-Gon motioned for them to lead the way. Together the trio moved through the halls toward the heart of craft. They entered the room, hearing the hum of the generators as the ship was about to lift off. 

Benhd was standing at a console examining the readouts when they came up behind him. "Is the Homing Beacon ready?" Obi-Wan addressed the elder with due respect.

Turning the large Togorian regarded the group. "Yes, I have it over here. Would you like me to assist them with installing it?" The engineer looked at the Knight directly now, "Our technology is not typical, as I am sure you have already gathered. It might not work properly if not installed correctly."

"I am sure they would appreciate any help you could offer." Qui-Gon bowed slightly expressing his gratitude. 

"We will be at your craft in a matter of minutes. We should begin heading out. Tuuvu wanted us to meet him at the hatch. Let's go." Benhd gathered a small black box and some extra wires and then followed the trio. The group met up with Tuuvu, Mrrogh, and Maarl at the access port. 

"We will touch down in another moment." Tuuvu told them as they approached. "Master Jedi, gather your people. Divide your students into 3 groups, two groups of 6 and one group of 8, not including the Masters. You did have about 20 children, correct?" At Qui-Gon's nod, he continued, "We will have the two smaller groups stay in Obi's and Li's rooms. The larger group should be able to stay comfortably in our observatory lounge. You will also instruct the crew that they will be lead to our meeting room in which that must remain for the entire journey. If they need anything, there will be someone assigned to help them. If they take advantage of this, we will be forced to handle the situation as we see fit. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly. I will inform them of your conditions while on board." They could feel the ship settle on the ground once more. A few moments later the hissing of the hatch opening could be heard. 

As they descended the ramp, Tuuvu barked out the last few orders, "Mrrogh, Maarl and Liior, please wait here. I do not want to start anything by intimidating them with too many pirates."

"You have a very keen mind, Captain. I thank you for your caution." The party entered the downed craft and Qui-Gon lead them to their quarters. He entered the room where a number of initiates were in the midst of some mental exercises under the gaze of the Councilor. "Master Adi, a word please."

She immediately left the group, "Continue children." She came up to Qui, "You have returned. How goes it?"

"Please collect the initiates." He then relayed the instructions Tuuvu had given him.

"I understand, we will be ready."

"Good, we will speak with Lessik now. Be ready in fifteen minutes." Qui-Gon left the room and rejoined the group. He then led them to the engineering room. As he entered, he found Fen Lessik, Wuan Jeswick and Nev Obser talking about their current situation. They stopped immediately when the group arrived. Without hesitation, he announced, "Captain Lessik, We have returned with the homing beacon and their ship is waiting outside to transport us. I would also like to relay a few requests their Captain has made. The journey will take approximately 5 hours. During that time, we will remain in the rooms designated for our use. I know that neither side wishes to instigate another incident, so I request that you agree and none of your men leave the room once inside. Captain Tuuvu will provide a liaison to tend to any needs but know that any unwarranted action will be met with Jedi disapproval and all parties involved will be subject to Republic law. Once we land on Onderon, we will be free to find further transport to return us to Coruscant. We will not take any action toward the Togorian crew or their vessel, as per our agreement with Obi-Wan. If anything should happen to the Pirates after our departure, I will personally track and locate those involved so that they will be brought in for prosecution. Do you understand and concur with all that I have said?"

Fen stared at the Knight for sometime, his gaze drifting toward the youth who stood rigidly behind the Jedi. He recognized that a particular detail of the deal was omitted from Qui-Gon's speech. As his eyes locked with stormy seas, he could see the turmoil rolling beneath. A small but simple nod confirmed his questioning glare. At that moment he understood exactly what had granted them this rescue. He would not dishonour that sacrifice. He replied in a clear voice, "We agree to all terms of the bargain Obi-Wan had made with us previously. We will follow what Captain Tuuvu has stipulated. And when we land we will collect all that is ours and leave without further action toward the Togorians or their vessel." He spoke originally to Qui-Gon then to the Pirate Captain, but his gaze flickered toward Obi-Wan as he hinted at that missing provision.

Knowing the discretion that was provided, Obi-Wan said, "Thank you, Captain Lessik, for your cooperation. Please gather your men and what items you wish not to leave behind and meet us outside in fifteen minutes. Our Head Engineer, Benhd will help you install the homing beacon before we leave."

"My Chief Engineer, Jeswick will assist with the installment. We appreciate the means which you are providing us to collect our craft and the transport to civilization." Obi-Wan for the first time thought he was glad not to be a Jedi, he couldn't imagine having to deal with all the diplomatic rubbish that was needed in negotiating between parties. And it seemed that his Patron had also had enough of the formalities.

"This is for the children, Captain. You are just fortunate enough to be coming along for the ride." Tuuvu and Lessick simply stared at each other for a long moment. 

Benhd on the other hand had come for a reason and completing his task was his first priority. He walked over to one of the damaged consoles, ignoring the stand off completely. There he began looking over the mangled parts to try and make heads or tails of the mess. He knelt down to examine it closer. As he did so, he placed the spare part on the control panel. A split second later a gasp could be heard followed by an angry shout, "Saboteur!!" In the blink of an eye, blasters were pulled from holsters pointing in all directions.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

First off, I would like to apologize for the lengthy sabbatical I have taken with this fic. I never meant for it to last as long. But Darth Real Life kinda reared it's ugly head. So much has happened since the last post as well as a horrible bout of writer's block. I couldn't even open Word for about a month! But at long last, I feel like the muse has gained some new strength and I hope you will never have to suffer through such a dry spot again. The good news is I was able to finish one of my other stories by Thanksgiving and have been working on this ever since. I feel like I'm along far enough that you should be good for at least a month and a half before we come close to a pause again. I will be resuming weekly posts, but the next post here will be in the new year. Fridays will once again see a new chap, but I wanted to start this before the holiday. And since this was done, I was anxious to resume posting and getting that feedback I have been missing for soooooo long! Which reminds me, a review would be most appreciated, if you have a sec! :D 

Thanks again for all your infinite patience and kind support! :D :D 

Culf – I guess you'll finally be getting an answer to that question. I hope you like what comes next. ;)

Death Rider – LOL, yeah we'll just have to see what happens once they finally get goin'. ;) And thanks for sticking with me. I really appreciate it! :D

LOTRFaith – Yeah, but it wouldn't be fun if we couldn't mess around with their heads and emotions, right? Thanks!

Kyia-Kenobi – Thanks! And yes, there is some Scaper lingo in there. ;) It's just such a frellin' awesome show, we couldn't help but adopt some words from it. ;)

Lanna – Well, I'm sorry you happened to find this just when I hit a major roadblock! The funny thing is I don't really know that song so well, I just found it on a Lyrics website and thought it would work. But I'm glad you liked it. :D

Padawan Anaika – Thanks for reading. And I'm glad you like it. I'm sorry I never got around to reading yours, but DRL can really ruin things sometimes. My time is so short anymore, I barely get to write and reading is not so much an option anymore. But maybe someday I'll be able to check it out. :)

Shan – My friend. You have been so awesome through everything for this fic that I don't know if I'll ever get to repay you for it. I'm trying with Shades, but I still don't think it's enough. I hope you like this last draft, I really considered your suggestions and worked through a couple of things to smooth it out. I hope it's a stronger chap than what I first sent. Thanks again. And how I wish it was only a novella. Well, it might be for this portion of the story but the epic has only just begun! ;)

Ciria – My dear, I still love your reviews and I hope you are able to stop by and catch the new chaps. I enjoy reading everything you have to say. :D As for the names, it's kinda weird. I usually have them pop into my mind or I take them from words that are around me. Most of the crew for the _Zenah_ only had one name at first and as I developed their chars their names grew and I knew who they were better. Lessik I think just came to mind but Obser is actually taken from observation. It all depends. But mostly when a name does come to mind, I begin to think up their history and their personality. I guess it can get kinda cumbersome but it's something I usually have to do if they are more than a cameo. As for the Pirates and how they will react to everything, that remains to be seen. But I think it will be very emotional. All I can say is the end is soo far away right now, who knows what will happen between now and then. Even I am unsure. I mostly let my muse write it for me, so I can enjoy watching along to find out what happens. ;) Sorry, I'm not much of a Harry Potter fan. So I am not really effected by Rowlings' muses. Well, the future – my future – as yet is unwritten, we'll have to wait to see how Master Clunkhead handles everything. Wow, rapid fire questions! Lol. The ship is interesting, and you might get more clues as to where it came from. ]:) And yes, Obi can understand Togorian. It's kinda like a Han Chewie relationship. Obi just doesn't have the vocal cords to speak their language. Well, I think it's safe to say you didn't miss anything while you were gone. And I will do my damnedest to not let it happen again! Thanks again!! :D

Slitherinsela – Thanks, I'm glad you like it, and I hope you'll be around to watch as it finally unfolds. :D

Jedilittlebee – well, I guess I've tested everyone's patience enough. :( I never meant to but I hope it will never happen again! ;)

Lighted eagle - You're funny. I;m really glad you are enjoying it all. And I'm glad you had a marathon read right before my horrific roadblock. I must say I really enjoyed developing the relationships and interactions between most of my chars. It was fun exploring them. You know, you really crack me up! Thanks I enjoy it! :D And I'm glad it still holds water in a second read through, sometimes one wonders whether or not their story has longevity and enough stamina to last for more than one sit through. ;) And yes, I think everyone you mentioned will be in there somewhere at some point, even if it's only briefly. You'll just have to wait and see how. I'm looking forward to getting through all those conversations too. I think they'll be fun to write. If I can only get there sometime soon. *sigh* Well, thanks again! :D :D 

Starre – Ok, ok, You've talked me into it. I'll finish the story. ;) And I can't promise you anything. You'll just have to wait and see what happens. ]:)

Well, thanks all for reading! Another post in 2 Fridays! And if you've made it this far, please review! ;) :D


	17. Chapter 16: Transition

Chapter 16: Transition

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"Our individual roles we think  
Not so important to the plot  
The big picture unseen  
Leaving life in between  
Destroyed and Overrought

There's no need to point the finger  
We understand who takes the blame  
Delinquents caught red-handed in the act  
Crooks disguised as you and I." - World go 'Round (No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom)

Instantly, Qui-Gon took a position in the middle. His hands raised up to stop anything from happening prematurely. An appeal to remain calm, he reminded them, "Please, we have come this far. Don't let this end in bloodshed after all the work that has been done." He glanced around looking pointedly at the leaders on both sides. What he also found surprised him, Obi-Wan had taken up a similar pose just behind him, their backs to each other. 

Nev Obser stepped forward, he did not have a weapon to wield other than knowledge. And he used it accordingly, "The device they brought looks like the one we found. What are we supposed to believe?"

"Why would we want to sabotage an already useless ship?" Tuuvu rebutted harshly. They could tell the vessel was failing. It was a miracle that Obi-Wan was able to land it before it failed completely. And above all, he wanted nothing more to do with the ship once they determined its value - or the lack thereof.

Narrowing his eyes and frowning, Nev pointed out, "That device was planted before we crashed. Do you pick your targets so far in advance?"

Laughing without mirth, the Togorian argued, "Our targets are only ships that cross our path. We have no knowledge of their passengers or cargo until we board it. And if we did know before hand, we wouldn't have bothered with you lot. We knew what we had to lose, and we would have never willingly placed Cub in danger." Tuuvu glanced at Obi-Wan who was peering up at him through ginger bangs. A fleeting sense of sympathy passed between them.

The quiet exchange and meaningful words seemed to effect more that the pair. The human engineer's voice lost some of its edge. "Then why do they look so similar?"

Annoyed again at the unfounded accusation, Tuuvu barked, "How are we supposed to know? You asked for a homing beacon that is what we brought. We don't even know what this other device of yours looks like. Maybe you are making it up."

Now that the tables were turning, Nev took up the defensive, "Why would I do such a thing?"

"How would I know? It is your fiction not mine."

Qui-Gon felt it was time for intervention, while they were in a somewhat rational mindset. "Gentlemen, please this bickering is getting us no where. At least put down your weapons so we can discuss this in a civilized manner." It took another few tense moments before the first blaster was lowered. Shortly after more followed, but none were holstered. Tensions still ran high and another outburst could be detrimental to their futures, but there was peace for the moment. "Now, I highly doubt that the Togorians would have brought a destructive device when they have agreed to so much already. But we cannot over look any similarities."

"How can you be so sure that they are similar in any sense?" Obi-Wan asked the engineers.

"It's true that both have black casing and could probably be mistaken," Nev accepted the challenge and laid out his reasoning, "but it's the locking mechanism that gave it away. Ours still is not released. Damage to the rest of the body allowed us to get inside." Having been the first to discover the anomaly within their systems, Nev was their primary investigator. He had gone over the device numerous times since his return. And his familiarity of the object gave him the means to recognize the resemblance. 

Many eyes moved to examine the homing beacon quickly. Most of the Togorians stood confused, the whole scenario just seemed too outrageous to them. The _Zenah_ crew eyed the pirates unsure whether or not they should believe them. Meanwhile, Nev went to another cabinet and pulled out the foreign device that had been extricated from their system. Moving purposefully, he laid it down on the counter next to the homing beacon. When placed beside each other the similarities were definitely uncanny. Obi-Wan walked over to the table and scrutinized them. The smooth casing of the beacon was unmarred by any other markings. It looked plain yet pristine almost elegant in its design. The bent shell next to it at one time probably looked exactly like it. However, the casing was bent in on one side along the hinges damaging them. He could see that they pried it open from this side to reveal the circuitry within. His hand hovered over it for a moment hesitating to touch it. Deciding to go for it, he grabbed the lid and opened the box. The lock that the engineers could not override released and the entire top came free. He heard a small gasp of shock behind him and he knew that this only solidified their suspicions. Ignoring them, he leaned over to look closer at its contents and saw the familiar design but under further scrutiny he could see there were differences as well. Still perplexed, he glanced up at the Engineer, "I don't understand, how did you get our technology?"

"How did you get yours?" Nev immediately countered.

Obi looked toward his Captain, Tuuvu stepped up to fill in the gap, "We acquired it from the previous Captain. He said it was provided by a private distributor, for a job well done. It was customized prototype technology."

Qui-Gon now inquired, "And do you know who this distributor was?"

"No, not really. He never said any names only hinted. He disliked sharing any information that could prove detrimental to his position. But once our Captain was killed, I severed relations with a number of his contacts. It could have been any one of them."

"Why should he withhold the information from his own men?" Nev inquired. He was used to being included with virtually full disclosure with his Captain. Of course their roles were not simply that of crewmembers but friends as well. And that being they were a public passenger vessel, it's not like there was ever really much to withhold.

Tuuvu regarded the engineer with a sarcastic tilt of the head. "Some of the people he dealt with had no issues about assisting underlings usurp their leaders. You've seen the technology, highly advanced. If any of us could obtain similar or upgraded tech we could easily oust him. Now wouldn't you consider that good enough reason not to share?" 

Once again Qui-Gon intruded, intent on bringing the group back on topic. "This appears to be a puzzle we will have to solve once we have the means and resources to examine the evidence better. We do not have a lot of time to ponder this issue right now. Our priority at this point is to get the children and the crew back to safety. Let Engineer Benhd help install the beacon while the rest start moving over to the other ship."

"I am obliged to agree with you Master Jedi," the Captain of the _Zenah_ finally joined the conversation, he added pointedly, "for now. But this mystery must be investigated immediately upon our return. This cannot be coincidence." The ominous words hung in the taut air that filled the room. Captain Lessick, however, understood that fighting now would get them no where and they needed to get back to Coruscant. 

"It matters little to us. We will be long gone by that point. Good luck. Now hurry so we can get this over with." The Togorian leader dismissed the dilemma with a wave of his hand. He glanced at his companions and they all turned to leave, except for Benhd. 

The trio of Engineers worked quickly to install the homing beacon while the others went to prepare for departure. No further incidents occurred during the transition, many were preoccupied with other concerns to cause trouble. It only took them a total of twenty minutes to move all the passengers on the _Zenah_ over to the _Night's Scream._ As soon as they were all settled in their respective rooms, the Pirate vessel lifted off toward Onderon.

Once the brilliant veins of hyperspace surrounded them, did things begin to cool down. Settling into their surroundings, the Pirates concentrated on their duties while the visitors made the best of their situation. The groups were divided and placed into their designated rooms. Tahl, Bant and their group of initiates had been brought to Obi-Wan's room. As soon as Bant entered she received a strong feeling of his essence dominating it. At first it was exhilarating to sense him so strongly, but soon her thoughts drifted to what he had become. She felt she no longer knew him. Tahl could see how these thoughts and emotions conflicted her apprentice. Doing everything in her power to ease the transition, the Knight suggested that they all do some more meditation exercises. The captivating woman smiled at the light groans of their students. Still she was determined to make sure that the trials of this adventure did not negatively effect them. 

Amidst the silence, Bant could not maintain her hold on the tranquility that meditation often brought and soon found herself alert. Not wishing to disturb the others, she slowly rose and walked to the other side of the moderate room. She sat on his bed and glanced over his dresser. Despite her desire not to invade his privacy, Bant found herself opening the top drawer. At first it looked like any other, filled with knick-knacks and clothing. She was closing it again when she caught sight of something she recognized all too well. Carefully, Bant reached over to pull it out. Tears welled up at the bottom of the large silver bulbs as she clutched the small item to her. A moment later, hands touched her shoulders and she knew her Master had come to comfort her.

"What is the matter, Padawan?" Tahl asked as quietly as she could so not to disturb the other students.

A sniffle escaped the young Calamarian. Composing herself, Bant opened her eyes to gaze at her confidant. Slowly, she opened her hand to reveal a length of braided cording. It was a colorful mix; red, blue, green and white. Tahl peered down at the fraying braid not understanding its import. Bant recognized her confusion and quickly pulled something from her utility belt. She opened her other hand to reveal an identical braid, albeit less wear. 

Bant tried to explain her swell of emotions, "There are two more like these. Garen and Reeft each have one. The four of us were friends," her eyes took on a misted appearance, lost in memory. Her tone as well softened with the remembrance of a happier time, "Good, good friends. From as far back as any of us could remember and we vowed that that would never change. During one of our classes, there was a discussion of how warriors in the ancient wars would carry items from home to remind them of who they fought for. And who would be waiting for them to return. We also discussed how comrades and friends would bear emblems or other markings to bind them together and remind them they are never alone." 

Turning to look at her Master, a sad grin on her face, she continued, "There was so much more said during that class but we all had the same idea. We each found a long strip of cloth or ribbon, whatever we could find, that would represent us. In the deep of the night we gathered in the Room of a Thousand Fountains and braided the strips together. It was there that we vowed to always be there for each other no matter what the Force had in store for us. We were young and idealistic. Garen brought red, he said it was for strength. Reeft brought blue for honour. Mine was green for friendship and Obi's was white for unity."

The smile had since faded during her tale. Awash with fresh emotions, Bant's voice hitched. "When he was lost, we didn't know what to do. But we soon realized that we must remember our vow. We borrowed each others' strength when we felt we had none left. We honoured his memory by continuing on. Our friendship is as strong now as it was then, if not more so. But we were not whole. Without him in our lives, we have never felt complete. We continued to hope and pray that somehow, someway we would find him and feel whole again. And now, now that I know he's alive and he's here with me, I still feel like something is missing. My thoughts stray constantly and I can't help but wonder if he has felt the same as us, like there is a part of him missing. I wonder, if he does feel as we do, is it smaller or thrice as big as ours? But what plagues me most is, why didn't he contact us? We would have helped him no matter what happened."

"I know how much he has meant to many of those in the Temple," Tahl began gently, trying to comfort his Padawan. But she knew there would be little she could do, the hurt was something the girl would have to overcome on her own, just like Qui-Gon and all the others this would effect. "And I know you are just the first to ponder these questions. I wish I had a simple answer for you. And somehow, I think he wishes he could give you an answer that you would understand and accept, but I fear there is more to it. Often we find there is no solid explanation we can give for doing the things we do. No perfect answer to all the questions we have. And I think you will have to be patient to even glimpse some of his reasons. Try to keep your mind open, we are in his world now, perhaps you can learn something about his motivations by observing our surroundings."

Sighing, Bant placed the braid back into the drawer and closed it. "His presence is so strong here. With each breath I feel like I am choking on the emotions that fill this room. I can feel so much of him, his anger, his rage, his happiness, but it is his melancholy that is strangling. The others flare briefly before being replaced by the lingering despondency. He hides it, I can feel that too, but it's always there, lurking." Abruptly, she breaks away from her Master's caring touch and heads for the door. "I cannot stay here any longer. It's too overwhelming." 

When the door closed behind her, a large imposing figure blocked her path. Bant didn't even bother to look up at the guard. She simply stated her request, "Will you take me to Master Qui-Gon? I believe he is a few doors down." He never answered, only gestured and she followed him half way down the hall. There he stopped and opened the door for her to step inside. She did so willingly, happy to have her mind clear again. Inside, Qui-Gon immediately made his way to her.

"Is anything wrong, Bant?"

Not able to look at him, she mumbled, "I couldn't stay over there." She wasn't sure what his reaction to her weakness would be and hoped she would not have to go into further detail. Unfortunately, he wish was ignored.

"Why?" The tall man questioned, a mixture of curiosity and concern. "I thought you wanted to be in Obi-Wan's room."

Sighing, she said, "I thought so too, but I just couldn't stay. There was history in that room that was clouding my mind." Hoping that would be enough to suffice, she headed toward the bed. Siri came up and offered her support.

Qui-Gon nodded, accepting her reason for the moment. He could sense her reluctance and decided not to press her. He had known Bant for many years now, she was always levelheaded and not very easily disturbed. But the past few hours had left her rattled. If she felt that she had to leave than it was for a good reason. He stared at the Padawans and his mind began to form a plan. The small group of children had huddled together to whisper amongst themselves. Bant and Siri spoke softly about nothing. 

The Knight stood by the door lost in his thoughts. Obi-Wan was an enigma, not just to him but to many people. All this time he had been hoping to find the boy again and now that he had, he didn't know what to do. He realized that he needed more information. He could feel that the youth was in turmoil, now he needed to know all of the reasons. And something just didn't feel right. He had to justify the boy's motives for himself. Putting his plan in action, Qui-Gon spoke to the older Padawans. "Watch over the children. I will be back before we land." With that he turned and left. 

Outside the Togorian that admitted Bant into the room still stood his position. Qui-Gon did not flinch by creature's harsh glare, instead he spoke clearly and purposefully, "I would like an audience with your Captain."

The Togorian examined him carefully. Qui-Gon knew that he was trying to determine if this was some sort of ploy. After a moment, the guard took out a comlink and spoke briefly into it. The Jedi waited patiently while his captor discussed his request with another. After a moment, the commlink was turned off but no move was made. Qui-Gon stared questioningly toward the white/tan-speckled Togorian. He was about to inquire if his request was granted when the feline spoke, "I will take you to him as soon as my replacement arrives." Only a couple of minutes passed when another Pirate rounded the corner, then they were off.

*

Obi-Wan stood in the bridge next to his Patron as the ship smoothly left the atmosphere of the small planetoid into the vastness of space. When they made the jump to hyperspace, Tuuvu resigned to his office, intending to be alone for a while. Obi-Wan did not follow him, instead he wandered off hoping for solitude as well. He needed to work through his emotions and the course of action that was now set before him. At first, he thought to head back to his room, but realized that it was already occupied. Then he thought of the lounge only to remember that too was already full. He was about to head to the meeting room when his plans were thwarted again. 

Sighing, he headed toward the last place he could think of and hoped it was vacant. As he approached, the sounds of people talking told him it wasn't. Still he entered the room, thinking there was no where else for him to go. Inside the rec room, he found some of the younger crew members, who greeted him immediately. "Hey Obi. We're glad you're back. Thought we lost you for a while. But we knew you would be ok." A stout orange Togorian, by the name of Rrooji, happily smiled.

"Yeah, it's good to see you. You want to join us?" Paold asked. They were in the middle of a workout and offered to include the little human. 

With a small wave of his hand, he declined, "No, I was just trying to relax at the moment."

Paold stopped what he was doing and sat up on the bench. His voice was soft and thoughtful. "That's understandable, you've been through a lot."

"Yeah," Rrooji chimed in a bit excitedly, "Paold was telling me about the raid. I wish I could have gone with you guys. Two more cycles and then it'll be my turn." Tuuvu maintained a strict policy that no crewman under the age of 21 was permitted to take part in the raids. There was only one exception to this.

Obi-Wan sighed, cautioning, "Don't be so eager to join the fight. It's still very dangerous, no matter how many precautions we take."

A little disappointed with the warning, he countered, "But I hate waiting here for everyone when I could be out there helping. It's so boring and I want to be part of the excitement."

"What we do is not exciting for those at the other end of our blasters." Obi-Wan gently rebuked his friend. The gentle reminder had the effect he was hoping for, as the Togorian frowned. It was obvious that he understood what their career choice did to their victims. Continuing with this train of thought, he added wearily, "I had hoped that one day we could find a way out of this and earn honest credits."

"But Obi, what else would we do? This is all most of us have ever known." Paold had only just begun participating in the invasions, but was breed into this line of work. His father had been part of the crew for a number of years and only recently retired. Paold had joined up with his father just after Tuuvu took over as Captain, so he had not been witness to the brutal methods previously used. 

Obi-Wan thought for a moment, "I don't know, I'm sure we could think of something." The young man stared up at his two friends for a while and he was suddenly remorseful. He had been planning to turn them around slowly but surely to a decent way of life, but now he had no chance of ever succeeding in that venture. All he could hope for was a chance to see them all again someday. This might be the last time he would speak to them, so softly, he offered, "You guys take care of yourselves."

"You too," they said in chorus. Then Obi-Wan turned and left. With his mind set on what was to come, he knew his time drew short. There was so much he wanted to do and yet now he no longer had the chance. If this was his last few hours amongst his family and friends he would make the best of it. But before he was gone completely, he decided he should pack a few things for the journey. Perhaps they would let him keep a few things while he was imprisoned. And he so desperately needed something to remind him of these caring people.

Purposefully, he made his way back to his room. There he found Maarl pacing the hallway. Perplexed he asked, "Where is Mrrogh?"

"Took the male Jedi up to the Captain." Inwardly, Obi-Wan groaned at this news. _Don't you already know what a bad idea that is? Master Jinn, I hope you survive all the way to Onderon._ Shaking his head, he entered his room. Inside, he found the small group of children deep in meditation. On his bed sat the honey-toned Jedi who tried blocking their initial entry. She was adjusting the bandage on her arm when he entered. Somewhat pleased with the results of the quick healing trance she had used, she looked up at him.

Carefully, he approached. Regret clearly read in the tumultuous seas, "I would like to apologize for wounding you."

Dismissing his sorrow, she tried to convey her thoughts, "There is no need for apologies. I realize now that you were just trying to save me from a worse fate. And for that I thank you."

Turning away, he whispered harshly, "Please don't. I don't deserve it." Tahl watched the youth pull a small pack from a cabinet. His cowed movements spoke volumes to her along with his words. She could see it now, a glimmer of the charisma that captured so many hearts. There was something about him that said his own self-preservation was at the bottom of his list. That others were foremost on his mind and their well being took precedence. However, his life was hard and full of contradiction. He hated what he had become but loved those he spent his days with. Those that saved him from a horrid reality. It was a arduous emotional strain and she was able to begin to sense the residual effects of those emotions flittering about the room. Her introspection was interrupted by the gentle cultured voice, "Master, I have a favour to ask of you. I am packing a few personal effects that I would like to keep with me. Could you watch over them for me until I am able to take them back?"

"Of course." Her gold and green striped eyes were full of compassion. He moved toward the drawer they had opened earlier and he pulled a few things out. Amongst them was the fraying braid that she had only recently become aware of. Not wishing to reveal their invasion, she bent the truth as he held the object, "Bant has one of those. Is there some significance behind it?" Tahl was hoping to find an answer for her Padawan.

Obi-Wan let out a shuddering breath as his hand clutched it tightly. It took him a moment to respond, his voice a little gruffer than before, "Yes. Very significant." His sea-change eyes glazed over from memories. 

Recognizing the look, Tahl muttered, "Then I am glad you still have it."

"I almost didn't. When I was first brought on board I…." Swallowing hard, Obi-Wan pushed through the pain of that time to speak. "I thought I had lost everything. After Drrov was killed and Tuuvu revived me, he told me that he managed to keep my things. He then returned them to me when I was well again." There was so much more to say, so much more he wanted to say but couldn't find the will to speak them. All the times he had cried himself to sleep, clinging to the braid, while praying this was some twisted nightmare and he would wake safely in his bed at the Temple. But that was mostly in the beginning when he was still lost and confused. Now he had accepted his life and tried to make the best of it. But all that was about to change again, he needed to prepare. "Forgive me, I need to finish packing so I can – tie up loose ends before I leave."

Tahl did not disturb him again, and for that he was thankful. Obi-Wan gathered a few more items and then bid his farewell. It was time for him to say good-bye to the rest of the crew. 

-------------------------------------------------

Well, it looks as if the Holidays and my extended absence have taken their toll on my reviews for this fic. Oh well. Hopefully as I continue to post I'll see some familiar faces again. If not, I look forward to new ones. ;) So, if you have a moment a quick review would be nice, and a BIG review would be AWESOME!! :D But either way I would be much obliged. Until next week!! Thanks for reading. :D

Shan – You are such a sweetie!! :D Thanks for all your help. You'll notice the subtle changes I'm making based upon your suggestions. I hope you like it! :D :D I think it'll be great. I'm still worried about keeping up with all the chars I have going. But as the story progresses they'll be changing and drifting in and out of the fic. I hope it will be enough to give them depth. ;) I check in with you this weekend. 

Meggie – OMG I totally forgot about the dogs!! Lol. Hmmm, I guess that's not too funny considering I'm a pile of bones now. But somehow, I'll pull myself together and get back to work. ;) Awww, thanks! :8} I do try to give my chars depth and I've poured my heart and soul into this fic. I hope it shows a little through how much this fic means to me as well. That's why I felt so bad with not posting. But I felt I needed to take a break and work through some family issues as well as story issues before I attempt to post again. Honestly, I haven't been on the boards much. Work restricted access to a lot of sites so in a sense my internet was neutered. :( That really irked me. I guess the only good thing to come out of it, is since I can't read anything, I have more time to write. ;) Thanks again for all your wonderful words of encouragement. It really means a lot to me that you are enjoying it. I hope this chap wasn't too much of a disappointment, I wasn't too please with it but hey, at least it's done. Hope your Holidays were great too! 

Death Rider – Yeah, I finally decided it was time to return. ;) Well, they think somebody did something bad. You'll just have to wait to find out who. ]:) As for Obi teaching, well, the code kinda discourages 'failed' Jedi from teaching. Because those who are being taught may not use their powers for good. So it's kinda like a responsibility thing and the line of who caused the chaos. If you teach someone to build a bomb there's a possibility something and/or someone could get blowed up. That sort of thing. Well, I'm glad to see you're still enjoying! Thanks for reading!! :D


	18. Chapter 17: Connections

Chapter 17: Connections

"They - Are - Criminals!" Mortius Griven shouted, his hands grasping the edge of the table so that they didn't fly out and hit someone. His knuckles white from the pressure. The co-pilot had felt as if this argument had been going on since the moment the door sealed behind them. He knew somewhere in the back of his mind it had probably been about an hour. However, it was an hour too long in his opinion.

Fen Lessik stood committed to his decision. He knew that Griven would force the issue again and was prepared for the opposition. Determined to stand by his word, he re-informed the irate man, "We have a bargain with these _criminals_. I will not…"

"YOU!" he shouted. Carefully, he lowered his voice knowing the Pirate vermin were just outside the door. He didn't want them to intrude on their debate. But deadly emphasis still permeated his tone, "_You_ have a bargain with these Bastards! Not the rest of us and especially not me." Glancing around, both men swept the room. Sitting around the conference table, the crew of the _Zenah_ waited for their arrival on Onderon. Most of them were too shocked by the debate to take part. And the rest knew that it was not their decision to make. Content to let their Captain make their choice, most found it alarming that a fellow shipmate would question the man so. This defiance only caused confusion for the younger members, and Lessik could see it on their faces. He had been desperately trying to curb this argument until a more opportune time, but Griven would not hear of it. 

Now, in order to try to resume command and end the dispute once and for all, he resorted to using his rank. "_You_ are under _My_ command, Lieutenant. And what I say goes." He hated having to stoop so low. He always prided himself on the discipline of his crew. He never had to pull rank or treat them as children, yet now he was forced to do just that with one of his senior members. And that fact bothered him greatly.

Disgruntled, Griven mumbled under his breath as he sat back down. "Not unless you're relieved of command."

The comment made all his annoyance seem insignificant. Startled, that the suggestion was thought let alone voiced, Fen stared hard at his co-pilot, "Are you threatening me?"

Nonplussed by the anger in the tone, the man returned the glare. "I'm just stating your judgement may be off."

"If anyone's judgement is off, Mort, it's yours." Lessik pointed at Griven, then stood and motioned to the room they were in, "Take a look around you, just look at where you are."

Leaning forward, he snapped, "In a ship filled with accomplices to my brother's murder." His hands balled into trembling fists. 

Fen had been hoping that the man would figure out his meaning on his own. Chastising, himself, he should have known better. Griven was so hell bent on his own perspective, he failed to see the whole picture. Shaking his head, Lessik pressed his hands onto the table, edging closer. "You are so shortsighted. You are on a ship taking you back to civilization. Don't you understand? These Togorians are taking us home. They don't have to do this. They could have left us there to die, but they didn't. Or worse, simply killed us when they had the chance, which I fully believe they could have. Still, their generosity is enough to rectify any wrongs previously committed." 

Jumping back to his feet, Griven spat, "I can't believe what I am hearing! You have gone daft. Those creatures were the reason we were stuck on that rock to begin with." His hand pointing to the door to underline his words. 

Shaking his head, again, Fen discounted, "Now there you're wrong. Despite their intentions, if they hadn't attacked us, we would all be dead right now."

"What are you talking about?" Confused, Griven's eyes narrowed forming ice blue slits. 

"You haven't listened to anything else I have told you except what you wanted to hear. The device, Griven, the device that was meant to blow our engines up as well as the rest of us."

"A device _they _probably planted!" he protested.

"No," waving his hand dismissively, the Captain thoughtfully continued, "no, I don't think they did. They seemed just as confused by it as we were, if not more so." The incident in the engineering room returning to the forefront of his mind. The way that the Pirates reacted to the discovery only solidified this thought. They themselves didn't know the true origin to their technology, at least not enough to disclose to strangers. For some reason, he believed what they had said, and the boy genuinely looked perplexed. He also remembered what Nev had told them upon their return from captivity. The young rogue had been looking at the mass of wires and managed to find the same thing they had. He even questioned it, possibly due to the fact they were vaguely familiar to him. Obviously, confused as to how they ended up on a passenger vessel. 

His musings left him lost in thought. An odd silence filled the room from lack of argument. At mention of the device, Obser sat up. It was something he could not get out of his mind since it's initial discovery. Recognizing his opportunity, he voiced his yearning, "Captain, I want to help with the investigation." 

Pulled from his quiet contemplation, he acknowledged the request, "Alight, Nev, I'm sure we can work it out with Security. I'm sure the company will want to know how a device like that got onto one of their ships. I don't think that will be a problem."

"I think the Jedi should be involved as well. It might have been intended for them." Obser had suspected that someone wanted to get rid of Jedi, guessed that the prospect of a large group of them was enticing. Then as an after thought, he added, "Perhaps we can enlist the boy's help if it is their type of technology."

A quirk of a grin crossed the older man's features. Apparently, his engineer had come up with the same conclusion he had regarding the boy. "We should be able to arrange something. It may help in his case," he added. For some unknown reason, Lessik had grown fond of the boy. He didn't really have too much interaction with him, but there was an appeal he didn't fully understand. But his wayward thoughts were once again interrupted by harsh tones.

"Are you serious? You are trying to help that murderer?" Griven regarded his Captain and now included his fellow crewmates with an angered glare. 

Fen countered quickly, "I'm trying to give him a chance, something you are not doing."

Laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, he spoke the words as if they should crush any doubts about the boy's character, "He is a thief and a murderer."

"He saved us when you were flat on your back. He has sacrificed himself to get us home. Is that not enough for you?" Even barely knowing the rogue, Lessik did understand what it means to surrender yourself. You give up everything - freedom, happiness, family, everything. But as he had often mused over the past few hours, he could not see the boy as a murderer. Softening the edge in his tone, he tried to appeal to reason one last time, "It is possible Kiiv's death was an accident, like Obi-Wan said. He deserves a second chance for trying to make things right again."

Infuriated beyond his limits, the co-pilot was unable to form words to express the raw emotion boiling inside of him. At last, his body released the fury in a roar of frustration. Minutes passed as they waited for the rage to ebb enough for rational conversation. Taking the lack of argument as a good sign, Lessik did his best to try continuing to smooth over the situation, "Mort, I know how much Kiiv meant to you. And I'm not saying it's easy to deal with. If the roles were reversed, it's quite possible I could be doing the same thing you are right now. But try to see reason, the boy has confessed, and he will face trial for that crime. But he has also done things for us, to help us out of the predicament we were in. He may not be the cold blooded killer you thought he was."

He sighed as the other man still trembled with bridled fury. There was only one thing left he could offer to compromise with his old friend, "If it means anything to you, I will let you contact the authorities to inform them of the boy's capture. And have Coruscant Security Forces awaiting our arrival once we return home. There they can assume responsibility from the Jedi." He waited for a moment but did not receive an answer, "Would that be acceptable to you?"

Sitting back with a huff, the co-pilot knew that he would never be able to enlighten these fools of their folly. The faux generosity of their benefactors was conditional, not sincere. Why couldn't they see the beasts for what they were? Despite, the rage that coursed through him he managed to mutter passed gritted teeth, "Yes." The conversation died then. All that was left to do was wait until they arrived on Onderon.

*

Qui-Gon followed silently behind his escort. When they reached the bridge, Mrrogh indicated for him to wait while he spoke with the Captain first. Now as he stood, he noticed the wary glances of the young navigator and both pilots. Only a minute later, Mrrogh re-emerged saying, "I will take you back to your cabin now."

Qui-Gon knew he was being dismissed prematurely, and he was never fond of that type of treatment. His body went alert and he replied curtly, "Very well." The Togorian headed for the door, as did Qui-Gon only in a different direction. Mrrogh didn't notice until it was too late and he dashed to stop the Jedi. Qui-Gon managed to get into Tuuvu's private office and strode up to the edge of the desk. "I must speak with you Captain," he announced.

The large Togorian guard who matched the Knight's stature hung his head slightly at his commander, "Sorry, Captain." The quiet apology was virtually ignored by the annoyed leader.

Tuuvu didn't bother looking up from the data screen he was reading. Wanting to give the impression he was very busy, he scrutinized the readouts further. Curtly, he addressed the inconsiderate human, "I already told Mrrogh that I didn't want to talk to you."

Qui-Gon stood tall with his perfect Jedi serenity in place. "Never-the-less, I feel it's vital we speak."

"I don't really care Jedi," he sighed. 

Mrrogh jumped in, reaching for the Jedi he managed to get his hand around the man's bicep. "I'll take him back now. Come on Master Jedi."

Qui-Gon shook off his escort's hand and leaned on to the desk. "This isn't about you or me, Captain. I am here about Obi-Wan."

Already angered by the intrusion, Tuuvu sprang from his seat and matched the Jedi's posture. But the use of his gentle Cub to invoke an unwanted conversation irked him even more. "What do you care about _Obi-Wan_? You abandoned him five years ago."

The Knight acknowledged the rebuke with weary acceptance, "A decision I have regretted every single moment since that day. One that I would give anything to rescind. One that I will forever be seeking atonement for."

Silence lingered between the two men. There was something in the way the human spoke that hit a cord with Tuuvu. He realized after a second that it was utter sincerity. And not just that, he could sense a deeply rooted melancholy (more than likely brought about by that choice) that seeped in to his words, making it apparent he meant what he said. Deciding then to allow this discussion to continue, he said, "Mrrogh, it's ok. I'll speak with the Jedi - for now."

"Yes, Captain," his friend muttered before leaving the pair alone. 

Now that they could speak privately, the tension slowly dissipated although never fled completely. Their stances shifted, poised yet accommodating the shift in mood. Bright jade and clear cerulean eyes locked. It was Tuuvu who eventually broke the stand off when he began pacing, "So, you regret?"

"I may be a Jedi, but I am also human. We make mistakes and we regret them."

"Contrition does nothing to mend a broken spirit." It was something his mate Jorri had consistently reminded him of. He felt it applied to the current discussion with absolute poignancy. Although he never would have dreamed that he would be repeating her advice to a Jedi Master. For the first time, he truly understood its meaning. 

"I know. But it's the only thing I can offer at the moment. And a promise to amend for my misjudgment."

Tuuvu crossed his arms and glared at the man. "And what _misjudgment_ would that be?" He wanted to see if the Knight was brave enough to admit his fatal error. To find out if Jedi could own up to their mistakes. But more importantly, he looked forward to the moment where he could twist Jedi honesty and multiply his so-called misery. He was almost disappointed.

"For denying the will of the Force. For neglecting the advice of my Masters and peers." Qui-Gon's voice wavered slightly at the remembrance of that time and how Obi-Wan's disappearance effected them all. He added quieter than before, "For turning Obi-Wan away."

"For destroying a life? And all you can offer are a few pathetic apologies," Tuuvu scoffed. "What would you know?" For the briefest instant he relished the pain the verbal jabs inflicted, before his thoughts returned to his cub. Deep down he knew Obi-Wan would not appreciate his actions, but he couldn't help himself. Someone needed to point out the grievous error that was made the day they sent him away. And if Jinn was the only one there to get an earful, well, then that would have to suffice. 

Qui-Gon hastily answered, "I know that my actions, my decisions were wrong. And I have come to ask you about what my errs have done. That is why I needed to speak with you."

Tuuvu found it ironic. All these years, he couldn't wait for the chance to give them all the gruesome details. To explain every minor ache that was inflicted on the sweetest child he had ever met. And now that he had his chance, now that there was someone standing in front of him he could relate the nightmare to, he found he couldn't. It would have been all too easy as well. Afterall, the man gave him the opportunity to describe every disturbing detail. Yet he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He guessed, he knew that doing so would not change any of it, so why bother? Now all he wanted was to get these people off his ship and head back home. To where he hoped happiness could be restored. With an even tone, he spoke, "Does it matter? It's in the past. Let him move on with his life. Without you."

"Please, let me speak. Perhaps if you understood why I did it." When the Togorian made no objection, he continued, "I was a fool. A thickheaded, arrogant fool, who was caught up in my own self-pity. I had been betrayed. Someone I cared for deeply, like a son, betrayed me. The thought of opening myself up to that kind of pain again was…"

"Pain?" Tuuvu couldn't help but interrupt him. "_Your Pain?_ Insignificant. I will never understand how Cub survived. His pain was far greater, multiplied by the physical as well as the mental anguish that plagued him. His was more than that of just one betrayal. Your _son_ was only one man, who betrayed you. How would you feel if your entire family decided to reject you when your only crime was not being good enough? How would you feel when everyone you ever knew or ever trusted suddenly turned their back on you because you turned a certain age? Does one man's betrayal even compare to a galaxy's?"

"No," he admitted quietly. The Knight's view once again skewed from his original perspective. He never really suspected that that type of reasoning took place in those dismissed from the Temple. Yet it made perfect sense. A child's mind, although trained might not fully understand all the intricacies of the decisions that led to their release. 

"You teach and preach and teach again, what it is to be a Jedi Knight. And even though you hint at the possibility of not reaching that goal, you never teach and preach about what to do if you are rejected."

"It is not emphasized no, because it does not often happen."

"But for those few it does happen to, it is heart breaking. It is the first step to their undoing. The second is when your heartless Council sends them off, unguided and naive to the dangers that they face. The suffering they must endure." Tuuvu stared at a darkened corner of the room. Tears brimmed the brilliant emerald gaze. His memories assaulting him. Finally, he tore his eyes away to bore into the man across from him. "Do you know what it's like - Do you have any idea what it's like to watch a child get tortured to death?"

Swallowing hard, Qui-Gon responded flatly, "no."

"Then you are fortunate. I have been witness twice, almost a third." A small chuckle escaped him, not a joyous sound but one that is made when a situation is so despairing there's nothing left to do. Quietly, he mumbled, "The gods are merciful afterall." Falling silent, Tuuvu turned away from the Jedi. Vivid memory reminded him of the wretched condition the child was in when Drrov was finally killed. Calling his cub's survival mercy was giving it more credit than was due. 

Qui-Gon allowed the silence to fill the room. The thought of watching any being suffer was a horrific thought. And it was also something that was embedded in a Jedi's soul. They existed to stop suffering in all forms. But when a child is involved it becomes ten times worse. Innocence is precious, which is why they protect it so. But what happens when the innocence of a Jedi child is lost? Drifting on the currents of such possibilities, Qui-Gon was brought back to reality when he was certain he heard the other man sniffle. It was obvious these memories still pained the Togorian. The Jedi's heart demanded to know why, so he obliged it. "What happened? To the children? To Obi-Wan?"

Long moments passed before Tuuvu calmed his voice enough to speak again, "Tell me, what do you see in that corner?" He indicated the darkened area behind him, the place his eyes often reverted to during their conversation.

Carefully, the Knight squinted to peer through the darkness. As his eyes became accustomed to the lack of light he began to make out a couple of metal rungs welded to the walls. Already guessing at their use, he was afraid to learn more about them. However, Tuuvu was willing to divulge the information in order to get his point across. The Togorian observed the Jedi and when he saw the recognition on his face, he continued, "_That_ -is where Drrov kept his - _pets_ - most of the time. Drrov was a cruel man, as you've heard before. And I am certain the galaxy is glad to be rid of his festering presence, as much as we are. But he did not leave without making his mark. Or marks, I should say." Qui-Gon shivered at the observance.

"Drrov took few prisoners, thankfully, but those he did take never lived very long. Cub was the youngest and longest to survive Drrov's wrath." Tuuvu's heart ached terribly at the recollections, baring his teeth he went on, spitting out the words as is they left a foul taste on his tongue, "And when that - _beast_ - was killed, I was ready to rid this world of everything he touched. It took me a while, but I was almost finished. That corner was the last of it. I was prepared to cut the whole thing out - including the bulkhead, when cub stopped me." He paused in his narration. Taking a deep breath a weariness fell over the Pirate, his shoulders slouching in defeat. "He begged me to leave it alone. That it should stay to remind us of the past - and of the future. It has come to remind me to be a better person, despite our career. To never be overtaken by greed and corruption. To never become a monster. I can only guess what it reminds cub of."

They both drifted off in speculation of the answer. The respectful stillness bound them together in a way they had not yet come to realize. Both were fathers in a sense and both had sons that they cared about. At last, Tuuvu once again broke the silence, "You loved your son?"

Looking up, Qui-Gon answered, "I had given him everything, including my heart."

"I love my - _son_, too. I have comforted him when the nightmares tore him from his sleep. I have strived to revive him from the desolated creature he had become. And for my labours I have been rewarded with a real smile and honest laughter. Now, for all that I have gained, in an instant it is lost. You have caused him to regress and I am not sure I will find a way to bring him back to me."

The accusation was harder for Qui-Gon to take than he expected. Inwardly, he searched for the right words to say. When he found them he said them with sincerity, "I never wanted to harm him. I never meant for him to revert to his former self, not in the way you described. I had only wanted to regain what I had lost. Pleaded for the chance to get the bright initiate back to the Jedi - to me. If I had known about what has happened, perhaps I would have approached this differently."

"_If_. The Galaxy is full of ifs. I have enough of them myself. If I had challenged Drrov. If I had rescued cub earlier. If I had not relented to his will when he had almost gone back - to the Jedi. _To you_. But they get me no where except a whole lot of heartache. Regret."

"Regret." Qui-Gon repeated, echoing the word and the emotion. "Regrets, as you said, do nothing to mend a broken spirit." His mind slowly began to wrap itself around a subtle fact given. Obi-Wan had tried to go home. But something - or someone - stopped him, he wanted to know why. Unfortunately, now was not the time to seek those answers, besides the only one who could provide them was not present. Suddenly, he realized the feline Captain was speaking again.

"So, you see, I regret too. But I have done my best to atone for the decisions I have made."

"As I am trying to do right now." Qui-Gon seized his opportunity. Invigorated, he pressed on, "I cannot change the past any more than you can. But you have had the chance to repent for your mistakes. All I ask is to get the same chance as you."

"What would you do with that chance?" Tuuvu peered at the Knight questioningly. "What is it you want from me, exactly?"

It had finally come to the moment Qui-Gon had been waiting for, a moment where he could ask to take Obi-Wan for a time. Determine if the boy could become a Jedi Knight, if he so wished. To say that he would protect Obi-Wan as best he could during the coming trials he would face. And then his mind screeched to a resounding halt. Tuuvu did not know of the bargain his cub struck, and he had promised Obi-Wan that he would not tell him until it was too late. So what would he say - what _could_ he say? His mind searched for an answer but could not find one. Minutes passed and still no response.

Tuuvu began to grow impatient. "I'm waiting Master Jedi."

Before Qui-Gon knew it, his mouth began moving, "I would like your approval. I want to offer Obi-Wan the chance to fulfil his dream of becoming a Knight."

Considering this proposal, Tuuvu weighed his options. Something was prompting him to regard the man's request seriously. He wasn't sure why. Perhaps he realized it was only fair to allow the man the same chance he had to correct some of the mistakes made. Maybe he knew that his cub needed to reconcile his past in order to find his future. Or possibly, because it felt right. Denying the fact that somehow the Jedi would leave them alone now, was a farfetched dream. Granting his consent would prove to them, that he was not a monster like Drrov. Before he could stop himself, Tuuvu began speaking, "We are returning to our home for the mating period. In four weeks, it will be his birthday. My mate and I have been planning it for a special reason to mark this momentous occasion. He will be 18 standard years then. And even in our culture it is the age of manhood. Come then and make your offer to him. But not until after his birthday."

"May I ask the significance? Is it a right of passage?" It was obvious to the Knight that there was something very important about that day, he only hoped he could learn what it was. Amazingly, it was revealed.

"Of sorts. The Margrave and Council govern our people. They must accept and bless particular requests before we can officially announce them. My mate and I have been waiting 2 years for them to approve our request. We will finally have it in four weeks."

His Jedi mind was still fervently working and he gathered what it was that they had been waiting for. "Obi-Wan will officially be your son."

"Yes, Master Jinn." Tuuvu was not surprised by the deduction. "Let me be with him until then. After that, it will be his choice to do what he wants with his life."

Qui-Gon's heart constricted. He knew that there would be no way for Obi-Wan to stay until his birthday, but he could at least offer some sort of solace. "I can only promise you that he will be there for your announcement."

Tuuvu nodded briefly before suddenly stiffening. His head suddenly jerked toward the Jedi, a panic in his jade eyes, "You must not reveal what I have told you Master Jinn. He knows nothing of our efforts, only that we are planning a great celebration for him. It was to be a surprise, one we have hinted at for a while but one he is, at this time, unaware of."

Taken a little aback by the intensity of the Togorian's worry, Qui-Gon nodded. He was shocked, he had assumed that they had already adopted the boy by the use of the earlier endearments. Now he knew that they were merely hopes of such a relationship. No matter what they were, Tuuvu did love Obi-Wan, truly loved him with his entire being. Had been able to bring the wounded soul back to life, to learn what it was to feel and love again. And for all his shortcomings, this Pirate's gentle care saved Obi-Wan from the pits of despair. Torn with the desire to reclaim the boy and the growing knowledge that Obi-Wan belonged with his father, Qui-Gon was once again heavy-laden. He knew that this loving spirit would be ripped apart when Obi-Wan was taken away, yet he could do nothing to warn him of it. 

Exhaustion swept through the room as the intensity of emotions gradually waned. Accepting the nod, Tuuvu sank into his chair. His hands came up to support his head adding to the appearance of fatigue. Wearily, he asked, "Are you finished?"

With nothing else to say at the moment, lost in his conflict, Qui-Gon replied in a tone matching the Captain's, "For the moment, Captain Tuuvu."

"Then I will ask you to leave."

Turning, the Jedi complied willingly. "Thank you for your time," Jedi etiquette took over as he left. Once the door closed behind him, he glanced around expecting his escort. The navigator and pilots were absorbed in their duties but his guard was no where to be found. Not wishing to trouble the Captain any further, Qui-Gon took the opportunity to be alone with his thoughts. Quietly, he slipped out into the halls of the vessel.

*

With Master Qui-Gon gone, the girls decided to keep the children occupied by involving them with some simple Jedi Force exercises. Unfortunately, they were intended for children younger than the age group with them, but they didn't have anything else. So this was the best the pair could come up with. To their disappointment, some of the children looked bored despite the participation. It was obvious they were only doing it because the boredom would be worse without it. They just wished there was something more they could offer. Pressing on, they tried to make it as fun as possible.

Some time passed, when they heard the door open. The group expected to see Qui-Gon returning from his talk, but instead found a young Togorian Pirate framed in the doorway. Bant and Siri rose instinctively to greet the arrival. "May we assist you with something?" Siri inquired with a hint of skepticism. If there was ever a perfect match for Master and Apprentice, it was Adi Gallia and Siri Tachi. Both were cynical of everyone else and neither planned on correcting that behavior. So when the young pirate came in, she wondered at his purpose.

"I had come to speak with Master Jinn," Liior stated plainly, unfazed by the Padawan's tone. 

"He's not here right now, he went to speak with your Captain," Bant informed.

He glanced at her for a moment, not speaking, just looking at her. Bant suddenly got the impression she was being assessed for something. There was a faint ripple in the Force, the two girls glanced at each other quickly. In the end, he offered a small smile. (At least that is what it looked like to them although it was a little hard to tell for sure.) "Well, I was also here to offer your children something. Obi had made some games for me and I thought they would enjoy playing with them." Liior moved toward one of the wardrobes along the wall. Opening it he extracted a couple of items, all of which the girls recognized. They were surprised to find the advanced mind games in the pirate's possession. But neither remarked about it. "We used to take turns to see who could do it faster. Obi always won. Although sometimes he would let me win to boost my confidence." Leaning in closer to the Padawans, he added, "But I could always tell when he did." Then he winked, which surprised them.

"Thank you." Siri took them from the Togorian and offered them to the children who were excited to do something a little harder. 

As Siri distributed and instructed the children, Liior turned to Bant, "You're Mon Calamari, aren't you?" She nodded and he added, "It's funny, I've never run into one of your kind before. You think I would have eventually, but maybe it isn't a surprise. I've never actually been on a raid before."

Curious now, she inquired, "Why is that?"

"I'm not old enough yet. Obi's the only exception because of his abilities. You know, he's mentioned having a friend that was Mon Calamari. Mentioned her a lot, along with a few other people. He said she was the most gentle and loving person he has ever known." The smile faded slightly. Liior watched the children absently as his thoughts wandered aloud, "When he talks about them, he changes, like he's longing to be back in the past. Like he's missing a piece of him. He must have been happy back then. We've become friends, but I still think he misses that camaraderie. I've always wondered what he was like before. I guess that's why I'm here. Qui-Gon Jinn knew him before he came to us and I wanted to ask him about it." He realized then that he had forgotten something very important. Turning back to Bant, he added with a grin, "Oh, by the way, my name's Liior."

She had been blushing from the moment he mentioned Obi's compliments. Unwittingly, the Togorian's ramblings had provided her with some of the answers she had been seeking. Moisture clung to her large silver eyes threatening to fall. Quietly, she managed to murmur, "My name's Bant."

Liior's face went blank from shock. It took some seconds before he stammered, "Not Bant _Eerin_?" She nodded enthusiastically. "Then perhaps you could answer my questions better. You knew him well back then right? So what was he like?"

"How can I put to words something so beautiful? He was always kind and generous. Sweet and thoughtful too. He never forgot a birthday. Always shared his meals even if he wasn't quite full himself. And the times we had. Sometimes I still wonder how he talked himself out of a couple of punishments when we were crèche-lings. I swear that boy could charm the skin off of a krayt dragon if he had to. I think it was his smile. I know I could never resist it for long." Good and happy memories floated across the landscape of her mind. Each one sparking joy inside her. Her gentle tone mirrored the feeling.

Liior looked down in wonder, "I can't imagine him smiling all the time. Most of the time he is so stoic, barely any emotion. Only on rare occasions can we even get a smile out of him. I wish I knew him before…"

Bant recalled the encounter in the rec room of the _Zenah_ and the scars that crossed her friend's body. How much he had changed, how much he wasn't like the boy she had described. The scars reflected a tortured spirit within, one she no longer knew. "I wish I knew what changed him," she echoed his thought.

"No, you don't." Liior answered her whisper. His voice not harsh but firm. "Remember him how he was. And pray that somehow there's a way to bring him back. Knowing that his emotions are held deep within him, unable to be set free, I can only imagine what he once was. You were lucky to have been there when he was happy. Not the reserved person he has become."

Bant's voice grew small in contemplation. "There must have been a lot of pain." The tears broke from their birth and coursed down salmon cheeks. Automatically, Liior reached up to wipe them away. Compassion filled his hazel eyes, adding a soothing balm for her heart. 

"My father said he was amazed Obi lived through it all. I've heard a few of the vets say Drrov was a cruel man. It's about the only thing they _will_ say about him. Let that be enough for you for now. I know little myself, but on those rare moments when I catch him gazing at the stars, my mind tries to imagine what it must have been like. To survive that kind of pain. And the images that come up are not pretty. My heart aches for him and there is nothing we can do to fix the wrongs done against him."

Gazing up at the surprisingly gentle feline, she said, "You sound like a good friend."

"So do you," Li replied smiling. An idea formed in his head at that moment. Without hesitation, he voiced it, "Let us be friends, and together we can work to make him happy again." Liior stretched out a hand toward the Padawan. She hesitated looking down at the open paw. Her gaze moving from hand to eyes, she could see the sincerity of his offer within the hazel depths. An odd connection crossed between them that made her smile, her own flipper-like hand went out to meet his paw. A pact was forged in that gesture, past and present uniting for a common cause. And a future, who's outcome was still as unpredictable as a breeze.

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Wow, where did everyone go??? Is anyone still reading this?? I would hate to think that all my work is only for me. :( As much as all writing is for oneself, it's much more fun sharing it. Well, for those reading, thank you! And I hope you liked this chap. :D

Liyanette – I'm glad you were able to find this again. I've always intended on finishing, but my hiatus I guess really through people off. And it was totally unintentional. Well, hope to see you again. ;) 


	19. Chapter 18: Beginning of the End

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Chapter 18: Beginning of the End

Leaning against a wall with his eyes closed, Obi-Wan stood. Right now, he was in a secluded storage area near the engine room having just gone around to some of the crew to thank them for coming after him. But what really drained him was the subtle hinting of good-bye. This venture was taking much more of an emotional toll on him than he imagined. What was worse was that the few he had spoken with were not even his closest friends. They were more like close colleagues, but he still knew them well enough to make his farewells hard. 

Most of the crew doubled for other duties on board and he would assist with repairs when they needed an extra hand. There had even been times when they sought out his opinions when the ship acted oddly. The technology was peculiar to its purpose, what ever that truly may be. Yet there was a finesse needed when handling sensitive circuitry and delicate equipment. Or rather a _force_ sensitive touch. He was not eager to share this knowledge about the ship and crew with the Jedi. Even though Qui-Gon had gathered that Liior was Force Sensitive, the youth wondered how long it would take the Knight to figure out the rest. Sighing, he began to lightly tap his head against the cool metal behind him. _This was such a _stupid_ idea!_

Banging his head a little harder now at his recklessness, Obi-Wan slid down to the floor. _Stupid, Stupid, Stupid_ accompanied every soft thud. Folding his arms atop his drawn up knees, his mind continued to chastise. _What will the Jedi think of all this? I still find it a little hard to believe and I live here. I can only hope they don't figure it all out. Cause if they do, I won't have any answers to give them. Not because I don't _want_ to give them any, just that I don't know most of them. I've just wanted to forget Drrov, forget the pain and humiliation of that time, that I just couldn't bring myself to find out. And Tuuvu's just too adamant about never talking about him - for my sake - that I didn't dare ask for his help. _

Tuuvu. His thoughts drifted to his gentle Patron and what was about to happen when they landed. The fact he knew the betrayal was inevitable didn't make it any easier. Truthfully, it made it worse. He knew what must be done, for the sake of his family._ I've got to talk to Kuuur. He's the only one who can help him now. _Taking one last deep breath, the youth pulled himself off the ground. He needed to make a couple of stops before confronting the First mate. His time with his friends grew shorter and shorter and there was so much more to be done. Doggedly, he headed for the infirmary knowing who he was about to face.

Knowing he was simply entering the dreaded ward for saying his good-byes and not for an injury didn't make that any easier either. Still, he spurred himself on. Walking into the open room Obi found his friend Naeci re-organizing some cabinets. He smiled despite himself, Naaur always kept the apprentice busy. The Healer's philosophy was 'Always expect disaster but be thankful for no work.' And he was a credit to that line of thinking, Naaur always kept his medical shelves stocked to their fullest, including vaccines and some of the rarer ointments. Over the past few years, they had barely needed his services, but knowing he was prepared comforted many of them on their journey. They had become so efficient in their raids that a cantina brawl in the outer rim ended up requiring his services more than any injury sustained during _business_. Obi-Wan laughed at the memory, although the cause of that fight disturbed him greatly.

Naeci turned when he heard the soft chuckle and smiled at him, "Obi?" The younger Togorian glanced behind his friend, searching for someone to push him further in. "You're walking in here of your own volition?" The shock on the cat-like face was almost comical, and the youth kept up with the sarcasm, "You must be very ill. Are you sure you're _our_ Obi? I should get Naaur."

"No, don't do that yet," he said a bit too hurriedly. Taking a couple steps further in, Obi-Wan stood behind a medcouch opposite his friend. Then adding, "I wanted to talk to you first."

"OK, What's up?" Naeci continued working as he kept glancing over at Obi-Wan, waiting.

Looking down, he tried to figure out how to begin. The light grey being across from him grinned when he glanced up. He cherished his friends here, they had given him so much of themselves and trusted him virtually without fail. It was heartbreaking to know that he was now about to betray that trust. But it had to be done, to protect them. Obi-Wan composed himself, "I, uh, I just wanted to thank you. For coming to get me."

Naeci stopped, looking at his friend he began to dismiss the gratitude, "Oh, you don't have to…."

"Yes, I do," his eloquent voice firm but gentle. Sea change eyes torrent with emotions locked onto his friend. "None of you had to come for me, yet all of you risked yourselves needlessly for my sake."

Countering, the Togorian muttered, "I wouldn't call it needlessly."

Obi-Wan lifted a hand to cut him off. "I would, it probably would have been better if you just went home." His voice tapering off as he spoke, realizing the truth of his words. So much pain was to come, maybe not physical but emotional. And it would be all his doing.

Ceasing his chore, Naeci squared off facing Obi. The young pirate's tone taking on a slight edge itself. "We couldn't do that and you know it. Just because you are not Togorian doesn't mean you aren't part of this crew. You are a marvel and an inspiration to us, we _need_ you."

"I think you're exaggerating the situation." Disbelieving that others could really feel that way, his gaze wandered off to the side. 

"Obi, listen to me," he snapped. And only when the reluctant eyes of his friend met his did Naeci continue, "You are so much more than what you believe yourself to be. I have heard others mention it as well. You've turned their - our lives around. Drrov was ruthless and cutthroat, I know that, but when you and Tuuvu took over, everything changed. You showed them by your survival, that no matter how bad things are there's still a chance we can all make it. You recovered and even helped us to become better, stronger and smarter. You've been our guide as well as our friend. You've given us so much of yourself and when we thought we lost you, most of us were frantic. We had to find you for our sake as much as yours. Don't sell yourself short." When he finished, he watched the other carefully. Obi-Wan closed his eyes obviously trying to deny anything his friend had just said. Softly, he put his doubts to words. 

"But I'm a reject. I'm not worthy of anything." The face his friend made conveyed his disapproval. This was not going the way he intended. Obi-Wan wanted to simply express his gratitude, but Naeci's heartfelt words were weighing heavily on his soul. He had to do something to lessen the oppressive feeling that encumbered him. This was not about him, this was about them. What they did to help him. Not how much he means to them, knowing that would only make his actions harder. No, he definitely had to change the direction this conversation was taking. Glancing up with a half-cocked smirk, he said, "I think you guys are in desperate need of a new role model." The mockery and sarcasm lacing his tone hit its mark. Naeci's eyes narrowed, but the sparkle in his grey eyes was unmistakable. The rogue egged him on, "I mean, come on, a human Jedi reject as the Togorian Pirates' Mascot? Sounds pretty silly to me." 

The young pirate chuckled unable to contain it any longer, "Damn it Obi, I was being serious."

Reaching over the cot, he placed a hand on Naeci's shoulder, Obi-Wan smiled, "I know you were. And I appreciate it more than I can say. It's just - I don't know - I guess I at least wanted to try to put my gratitude to words."

Accepting defeat at the moment, Naeci looked at the labels on the canisters he was holding and resumed his task. "If anyone should be thanking anyone, it's us. All I know is that we would be lost without you." Much to Obi-Wan's relief, the young Togorian was not looking at him when he spoke. His sacrifice was already a burden too large to bear and the off-handed comment as well as the rest of their discussion, made it twice as heavy. Why did they have to care about him so much, he wondered? It just wasn't fair that he had to hurt them so. The incredible onus made his legs feel like jelly. Immediately, he dropped into a chair and began rubbing his forehead. Hearing the noise, the apprentice healer turned. Worried by the pained expression on the rogue's face, he asked, "What's wrong, Obi? You ok?"

Waving him off, Obi-Wan answered softly, "I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache, that's all."

"Headache, my tail," a new voice added. Obi-Wan flinched automatically in response as Naaur came walking in from his adjoining office. Automatically, he came up to the human with questioning eyes. "I still want that exam, young man. I don't trust them. It's possible they didn't treat you properly because of _who_ you are." The implication evident, why would they care for a pirate?

Obi-Wan, on the other hand, had had enough contact with various healers to know the good from the bad. And from what he could gather the man who treated him after the incident was one of the good ones. "I don't think they would have done that. Just ask their Healer, his name's Kohnwei and he's in the briefing room." Oddly, if things had been different, Obi-Wan thought they might have even gotten along. His thoughts interrupted as Naaur spoke.

"Maybe, I'll just have to do that." The tan and black Togorian watched the youth for a moment, waiting for a snide remark. When he didn't receive one, he grew even more worried. The earlier edge in his tone softened, "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes."

Not entirely convinced, he said, "Let me just take a quick look. Make sure it's nothing serious. It looks like you've had a couple of bumps to the head, I just want to play it safe." The healer stretched out a hand to push away the russet bangs that shaded his face.

Instantly, Obi leaned as far back as he could in the chair, trying to get away. "No, it's nothing, really."

But the medic was not about to give up, "Let me…."

"NO, I said." Obi-Wan sprang to his feet, unsettling the chair he was on and knocking it over. The loud cluttering froze the room. The Togorians stood back stunned, looking dumbfounded. Once again, things had not gone as he intended and Obi-Wan sighed. Turning, he picked up the chair. "Please. I didn't come here to argue with you. I simply wanted to thank you."

Still confused, Naaur asked, "For what, I haven't done anything yet."

However, the younger of the two felines did know and offered clarification, "He wants to thank us for going after him."

"Why? It was only the right thing to do." The healer continued to give Obi-Wan a look of bewilderment. It was clear that he felt it was totally unnecessary.

"But it meant a lot to me." Obi-Wan spoke softly. "When I was a kid, I thought being a Jedi was everything. That being a Jedi meant I was part of this huge family. A family that worked together and cared for each other. But when I was sent away, my thoughts changed. I believed that that idea was just a fantasy. That I could never belong to something so wonderful. Until recently. I accepted my death, my fate, when that ship was going down. But then you guys came after me and demanded my release. It was such a humbling yet glorious feeling to know what you had done for me. And I realized that I had been wrong. Not only was I a part of a family, I was part of the best family in the entire galaxy. You didn't give up on me even though the odds were against you. And for that I cannot thank you - any of you - enough."

Everything he said was true. Five years prior he had been rejected and sent off to live a simple life. But when the ship was attacked and he was taken prisoner, it appeared to him that they accepted his death without question. No one came to rescue him from the horror that he faced. No one hunted for him, even if it was only to recover his body. They simply believed that he was gone forever. But when his pirate family had watched as a dying ship limped away to crash on a nearby planet, they had not forsaken him. On the contrary, they sought him out. They risked everything they could to get him back. Of course, he didn't even want to think about what would have happened if he had been killed. But the fact that they needed to be sure one way or another was strangely comforting. And now all their efforts had been negated in a single moment, when he offered himself for their freedom. He could only pray that their loyalty will respect his decision and they would return home to wait for him.

The healer was touched by the sentiments. Now it was his turn to share his thoughts, "Your safety is enough. Your presence _here_ is enough. We all know you would sacrifice yourself for any of us. Actually, you did when you told us to break away while you were still on board that ship. You have done enough for us, we were merely returning the favour."

And he was sacrificing more than he could say. If only he could save them this pain, but he knew that his time here had ended the moment he knew Jedi were on board that ship. One way or another he would have to go back to them, to face whatever fate had in store. At least it would be on his terms. Still, Obi-Wan wished that destiny was kinder. Now all he could do was let them know he appreciated everything they had done for him. "It doesn't matter the reason exactly. Just the fact that you did."

"You're making too much of it," Naaur dismissed. But as he looked into the hurt and pleading seas, he relented, "But if it will make you feel better, You're welcome."

Obi-Wan smiled up at the healer, some relief washing over him, "Thanks." Glad that this battle was now over, he began preparing for the next. Time was steadily waning and he still had a few more to see. Glancing between them, he announced, "Now if you'll pardon me, I have a couple more people I wanted to talk to before we land."

"Sure, as long as you swear you're alright." Naaur eyed the youth searching for signs of discomfort. Of course he found nothing, the boy was too artful to be caught revealing that something was wrong. Besides, it wasn't really his body that hurt. The heart is rather difficult to detect when it has been wounded.

"I told you before, I'm fine." The earlier 'headache' long forgotten. He took another moment to simply look at them. He gathered this would be the last time he would see either of them for a long while, if ever. Emotions formed a lump in his throat and it took all his reserves just to speak without his voice hitching. "Take care you two." Obi-Wan turned and left.

*

Qui-Gon had been wandering the vessel for some time now. His thoughts still cluttered with possibilities and what he was able to learn. And since the craft was unfamiliar to him, he had been walking aimlessly through the corridors. As he made his way down one of the corridors, he could hear voices up ahead. As he scanned the hallway, he found an open doorway, from which he gathered the voices were coming from. His first impulse was to turn around and avoid detection when he was stopped by quick a shout. He knew that voice and quietly jogged up to the edge of the entrance waiting to see if he should pounce and offer assistance. But his worries were forestalled now that he was able to make out what they were saying. _"Please."_ The single word flowed with weary despondency that struck at the Jedi's very soul. He marveled at how much emotion one word could convey. Listening intently he stood. _"I didn't come here to argue with you. I simply wanted to thank you."_

Confused he wondered what the rogue meant, apparently he was not alone. But they were soon to discover. Qui-Gon couldn't believe what he was hearing. The boy had gone to thank his companions for caring about him. It was such an awe-inspiring thought. Of course, he was disturbed by the youth's analogy between the Pirates and the Jedi. But it was the Healer's genuine reply that convinced him even more of the hardship that was to come. The loyalties, the ties that bound them together in brotherhood were about to be dealt another blow more devastating than their near miss. Yet the young man had resigned himself to be the barer of destruction and was trying to ease the pain before they had any idea of what was to come. Obi-Wan unwittingly had gained another notch of respect from the Jedi Knight. 

Hearing their conversation come to an end, Qui-Gon prepared himself for the confrontation. The moment Obi stepped out of the Infirmary, he greeted, "I hope I haven't kept you waiting too long Master Jinn." Startled, he did not even consider the possibility of being detected, but it came and went quickly. Composing himself, he easily slid into step with the rogue. He was trying to figure out a rational response to such a question but could find none. Thankfully, Obi-Wan spoke for him, "I'm sure you would like to be getting back to your room now. I'll escort you there before you wonder into a place that could get you in trouble."

Recovering from his momentary stupor, the Knight said, "Actually, I was hoping we could speak privately. I wished to discuss some things with you before we reach Onderon."

"And what would they be?" Obi-Wan asked as he quickly glanced at the Knight.

Qui-Gon stopped, causing the boy to do so as well. As the youth peered up at him, he suggested, "I think it would be wiser to speak without being overheard, intentionally or unintentionally." His eyes danced up and down the hallway, reiterating how vulnerable their current location was.

Eyeing the man, Obi-Wan guided him to another storage room. Once inside, the door shut and Qui-Gon could see the shelves lining the walls held various culinary products. They were in a pantry, not exactly what he had in mind but private none the less. Obi-Wan cut through his thoughts, "Alright Master Jinn, what did you want to say?"

"I have spoken with your Captain," he began, then added more to himself than for Obi-Wan, "He loves you very much." The observance had been forefront in his mind. 

Sighing, Obi-Wan remarked, "I know that Master Jinn. Is that why you wanted to talk in private?" The young man was getting annoyed at the Knight's constant intervention. And he had yet to say anything that he didn't already know. 

Not reacting to the growing tension, Qui-Gon continued in an even tone, "No, that is not why I wished to speak with you. Firstly, if my suspicions are correct, you are saying good-bye to your friends?" It was remarkable to see, most of the defiance fled the boy's eyes leaving veiled melancholy. But in that same instant it appeared as if a weight had been dropped onto the young man's shoulders dragging them down with the load. The sea change gaze wandered the floor, obviously turning inward to contemplate his thoughts. Qui-Gon watched in fascination as he witnessed Obi-Wan's burden revealed without uttering a single word. He had to suppress the urge to walk up and comfort the youth, he knew that it probably would not be received well. There was still much to work through before such motions would be accepted without misgivings. So he stood waiting.

It took him a few moments to gather his emotions. He was glad he could hide his rampant thoughts when he left the infirmary. It would do no good to reveal that he was having doubts about what he had done. But now faced with blunt observation, he wondered again if he could go through with this. Of course, he knew he must. But it still left him emotionally drained. Quietly, he answered, "I couldn't leave without letting them know how much they mean to me."

"Which brings me to my next point. They seem incredibly loyal to you. And your Captain even more so. Can you be certain that when we land, they will not interfere?"

"Once I have finished my good-byes, I can guarantee that there will be no interference from anyone." Obi-Wan more or less hoped that he was absolutely certain. He figured the whole crew wouldn't be present when the time finally came, it would be a matter of who was present. However, he did have a very good idea of those that might be called upon in the end. Once he talked to Kuuur he would know for sure whether or not his statement would be true. Until then, he would have to convince the Jedi he had everything under control. 

"Even your Captain?" the Knight asked cynically.

Adding with false bravado, Obi-Wan met the man's crystal gaze, "He may try but he will not get very far."

Silence enveloped them. Qui-Gon pondered this over as he studied the rogue, admiring the determination to see this through flaring in the sea-washed portals. Knowing what the answer would be, Qui-Gon felt he had to address the actual reason he wished to speak with him. His revelations upon the observations he had made during his short time aboard the pirate vessel effected him deeply. Perhaps, he had been wrong before, thinking it was the will of the Force that Obi-Wan return to the Jedi. Perhaps, once again he misinterpreted destiny had in store for the young man. But somewhere in the furthest reaches of his mind, he knew that he was only partially correct and that fate had yet to fully reveal what was to come. "I have come to see your importance to these people. And I ask you once again to reconsider your position. I must know, is your conviction absolute? Do you still wish to continue on this course to imprisonment? I could attempt to convince Captain Lessik to release you from your vow."

Murky oceans swirled, conflicting emotions vying for dominance yet unable to take hold. A cultured voice spoke steadily, but reflecting the torrent within, "Master Jinn, I believed that you would know better than that. I have given my word. What's done is done. Even if I did say that I wanted to stay it would do no good. Too many Jedi are here, you could never hide me from the Council. Eventually, I would be hunted down just to make sure I was not using my abilities unfittingly. 

"And I know now, that if Jedi were to come after me, my family would fight them with everything they had just to protect me. I couldn't live with myself if any of them were hurt on account of me. Nor could I deal with the thought of my family injuring or killing a Jedi. That would be too much for me to bear. Worse than what I am currently facing. I can always ask forgiveness, but I cannot bring anyone back to life. This is the only way regardless of how I feel." Tension coursed through him, tightening every muscle and forcing his hands into solid fists. 

He had considered every possible scenario, and all came to the same conclusion, he must go back. He never expected anyone to offer him back his freedom, and to confront this totally wore at his frayed feelings. Why couldn't Jinn let him be? Why did the Jedi have to be the bearer of destruction not once, but twice in his life? And how could false hope continually dangle in front of him, taunting him with a life that was no longer his to achieve? He felt the sting in his eyes and the ache of his heart as he barely held on to control. 

A battle waged inside the youth, as Qui-Gon accepted the answer. Not for the first time, and most assuredly not the last, did he regret his words. Looking sympathetically at the rogue, he said, "Forgive me, I know how much of a burden this is for you. I merely wished I could alleviate some of it. I will honour your decision and will not ask you again."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and tilted his face away, collecting the scraps of resolve he had left. When he spoke next, Qui-Gon noticed the hint of defeated acquiescence in the eloquent voice. "Good, now I'll take you back to your room so that I can finish what I started." Wearily, he headed for the door, stopping when he heard the gentle baritone once more. His back to the Jedi, he didn't bother to turn around or look at the man.

"May I ask one more favour?" Qui-Gon slowly approached the young man. "I would like to accompany you during your valedictions. I will not get in the way, I just wish to offer you my support should you need it." Which he fully believed the youth would. The small room felt drained of energy, and he knew that Obi-Wan was the source of the sensation. 

"I think I can handle saying good-bye on my own. And you should not be wandering the ship alone."

Unconcerned about his situation, Qui-Gon stated, "An opportunity arose that I could not resist." Carefully, he reached out and placed a hand the young man's shoulder. Softening his tone just a little, he continued, "But I would like you to reconsider. Those you have already spoken to have already proven themselves harder to handle that you thought."

Sounding a little gruffer than he intended, Obi-Wan asked, "Why do you think that, Master Jinn?"

"Because, I can sense it. Your shields may be able to keep your thoughts secret, but I am a Jedi Master. You may be able to fool the others, but I can sense how much your heart is aching as you say your farewells. If nothing else, draw strength from me. Allow me to help you hide your torment. You know should anyone suspect, that the bargain could be jeopardized. I am only trying to help you through this difficult time. You yourself have expressed how important it is for success." 

After much consideration, Obi-Wan finally relented to his reasoning. But more importantly, he knew he would need the extra support more than he cared to admit. "Very well. But we will need to hurry, we should be arriving within the next two hours." Resolutely the pair exited the small pantry and headed for Obi-Wan's next destination, the bridge.

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Please, please, take a moment to review!!!! *down on hands and knees* 

And thanks to all those who have. :D You made me a very happy girl!!

unknown – Thank you very much. I hope you enjoyed it. ;)

Kaat ShadowLover – I'm glad to see that you are sticking with it. I realized a while ago that it seemed to drag on, which is why I'm trying to move it along now. I may not be succeeding entirely but at least they're off that dang planet! I don't think you've reviewed before but I sure do appreciate it now! :D And don't worry, you don't have to every chap, just once and a while so I know there's still interest. ;) 

K-Rock – How's that Robin Hood fic coming along? I know I haven't been able to really get around to it. Which is why I've never been able to post anything. Not only that I've been getting in to other things. I need to finish some more little PB's that popped into the head just to regroup and refocus on my major works. ;) I know school can really get in the way of some of the more important things, but stick with it and try and enjoy. DRL is worse than school! :p I hope you enjoyed your marathon read, I know there's a lot here to catch up on. ;)

Shan – I know you're still around. ;) And you totally crack me up!. You are so cute, hinting at what _might_ be coming down the pike! LOL. Yeah, I wanted to give you something a little more enticing to read from what I originally sent. Keeps you on your toes too. ;) Hmmm, I don't know for sure if something is brewing between the unlikely pair, but who knows. We'll just have to let the Force guide us. This chap didn't come out as good as I would have liked but at least it's done and over with. We all can't have perfectly awesome chaps. Not like you any way! ;D Thanks again and I promise to be a better beta with the next chapter. :D

Jessica Maxwell – I noticed that you also reviewed on another fic. I hope to one day get back to that but life has not been kind. I've been trying to catch up on the ones that having working muses. For some reason Menagerie's just won't give me any more. But I refuse to give up all together. Just keep your fingers crossed that I'll be able to get to it sooner rather than later. ;) Ah yes, those marathon reads can be hazardous to a full night's rest. I know I've sacrificed sleep a few times. ;) All I can hope is that it was worth it. And yes, this is also on tf.n. I try and post on both on the same days. But this place is so fickle at times it takes a while to catch up. But this is on a schedule, so you're just gonna have to wait for more. ]:)

K-rock – Silly girl. That's ok, I know the beginning wasn't all that awesome. But I'm glad it's gotten better. I'm just hoping to finish this portion of the story before my birthday! (which is in July) ;) 

angel – Thanks. I appreciate you letting me know. It means a great deal to me. :D

lighted eagle – you crack me up! lol. I won't deny growing up is hard, but being an adult adds a whole new aspect of difficult for life. So, if you have a choice try not to do it so fast. ;) Yeah, not all my recent chaps are full of action, but I at least hope they have _something_ intriguing about them. I have been trying to break my paragraphs down because I know they can sometimes get cumbersome. Unfortunately I can't always find a break to divvy them up. Hope they do get better. ;) And yes, things are building up. I hope you like what they are building up to. I know I do. ]:) Mwahahahahahaha. *kaff* *kaff* Uh, yeah, excuse me, tickle in the back of my throat. Honest. Take your time about reviewing, just drop me a line once and while so I know you're still out there. ;) *sits back* Ooooo, look at all the pretty colours! O_o


	20. Chapter 19: Dawn of Destruction

_Chapter 19: Dawn of Destruction_

"Don't speak  
I know just what you're saying  
So please stop explaining  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts.  
Don't speak  
I know what you're thinking  
And I don't need your reasons  
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts.

It's all ending  
We gotta stop pretending who we are." - Don't Speak (No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom)

Silence lingered between them, neither willing to disrupt it at the moment. Both had much on their minds, considering the future and the possible trials ahead. The tension was electric around them, receptive to their musings, surging and shrinking accordingly. The charge energizing and exhausting in the same instant. The Jedi Knight could see rigid muscles beneath soft material, noting that the figure was still toned. The muted aquamarine colouring of the shirt similar to that when he raided the _Zenah_. Qui-Gon guessed it was a favourite colour of the youth. Every minute a new discovery learned. 

Unfamiliar with the layout, Qui-Gon followed until they came to a door. Obi-Wan stopped and moved to access the controls, when he paused. Taking a deep breath, he centered himself to face the coming task. When he felt he was ready, he finally opened the entry and stepped inside. Qui-Gon automatically moved to stand just inside the door but dared not enter any further. His presence only there as support, well at least as much as he was permitted to give. Obi-Wan continued to rely more on his own strength than that of the Master's. Still, he appreciated the fact the Obi-Wan allowed him to accompany him on his final rounds. He knew how difficult it must be to say good-bye without letting on that he was saying good-bye.

Obi-Wan continued to head toward the piloting stations. His movements slow and calculated. Quietly, he came up behind the navigator and rested his hand on the back of the chair. The unexpected touch caused the black and white Togorian to jerk, but he soon relaxed when he found out who had surprised him. "Hey, Obi, I didn't hear you come in. We should be landing on Onderon in just over an hour. I'll be glad to be going home finally."

Grinning, Obi-Wan agreed, "I'm sure." Grruun continued to monitor his station, making sure they were still on course and avoiding obstructions. To his right the two pilot's patiently waited for the return to real space. Currently, they were just there for show, so to speak. 

"We're glad you're alright, Cub." Trruud called over his shoulder. Being one of the few that remained from Drrov's crew, he was permitted to use the boy's nickname. 

At the far end, Soarn turned his seat to look at them better. "Yeah, we thought we lost you there for a while. Never seen the Cap so anxious."

"You almost did," the rogue reminded them with a sad smile. A playful sparkle shone in the sea-green gaze as he added, "but fortunately I was taught how to fly by the best." Looking directly, at the co-pilot, his tone sobered a bit, "So you better pay attention to his lessons."

"Well, I don't know who _that_ could have been." Trruud teased. "But if I recall correctly, it was a certain little boy who taught me some tricks or two myself."

Raising himself up to his full height and crossing his arms, the friendly banter continued, "Don't give me that. You already knew them, I just showed you how to do them with style."

The group laughed at the remark, knowing it was absolutely true. Qui-Gon was once again taken aback by the camaraderie that flowed so freely between them. And for the first time he heard the boy laugh from mirth instead of sarcasm. It was a beautiful sound. He now understood why Tuuvu cherished it so, as well as those in the Temple that knew the boy best. And he couldn't believe he let him go so easily. 

"That you did, Cub. That you did." The blue-grey pilot said as the laughing tapered off. The moment of good-times-remembered faded away replaced by an awkward silence. Each one left to their thoughts. Obi-Wan remembered so many he didn't have time to consider each one. Although, he guessed that soon he would have enough time to mull over his memories over and over again. And to tell the truth he was not looking forward to remembering his past.

Pushing his wayward thoughts to the back of his mind, Obi-Wan decided it was time to get this over with. Clearing his throat he began, "I actually came up here for a reason. I wanted to thank you all for coming after me."

"Don't worry about it Obi." Grruun said. 

"We only did what we felt was right." Soarn added.

Trruud agreed, "You would have done the same for us." 

Obi smiled at their immediate reactions, becoming quite familiar with their response. "I know, I know. But it wouldn't be right if I didn't at least let you know how much I appreciated it. You have all been such good friends over the past few years and I wouldn't feel right if I didn't tell you that."

There was something in Obi-Wan's tone that made the elder Togorian regard the youth seriously. Turning so that he could face the young man directly, Trruud replied, "You have been a good friend to us as well, cub. We have been fortunate enough to know you."

"And I you." With sad eyes, Obi-Wan looked at each of his companions in turn, offering a bittersweet smile. Knowing that he didn't have the strength for anymore, he said, "I need to finish prepping some things before we land. I just had to come here first."

Cheerily, Trruud dismissed, "Well, get going. We're going to take off as soon as they're unloaded. It's time to go home."

Obi-Wan waved subconsciously, "I'll see you around." Then he turned, nodded to Jinn and walked out.

The moment they were back in the silence of the hallway, his shoulders slouched. Surprisingly, he didn't flinch when the venerable Master placed a compassionate hand on his back. And even more amazing was the look of gratitude in his eyes as he glanced back at him. Softly, he muttered, "Thank you. Your presence made this easier to cope with. Maybe even helped keep it from getting as burdensome as my last conversation."

"If I was able to help at all, than I have accomplished my goal. I can only hope my presence continues to assist you. How many more do you need to see?"

"Only a few more. But who we see next may not be as easy as this. I suggest you watch yourself." With that Obi-Wan pulled away and headed down the hall. Stopping a few doors down, he stood momentarily assessing the situation. Just beyond the doors to the First Mate's Quarters angry shouts could be heard. No words could be deciphered but the muffled argument warned against intrusion. Looking up at the Jedi new determination lined his features and he barged into the room without permission. 

Inside, the pair of Togorians ceased their quarrel at the sudden encroachment. Just before they entered, Kuuur and Mrrogh were in the middle of a heated reprimand. When Mrrogh first left Tuuvu's office, he planned on waiting around figuring that their talk wouldn't take long. But as the time passed, he realized that his initial assessment was wrong. Remembering something he had to do, he decided he could do it and be back within a couple of minutes. When he returned, he asked the others if the Jedi had left, but everyone said they hadn't seen him go. Later, when Tuuvu emerged alone, he realized that somehow they missed him. As soon as this was discovered, Tuuvu sent Mrrogh off to find the missing Jedi. Thus far, the Togorian had come up empty handed(for obvious reasons) and was being yelled at by the second in command for losing one of their unwelcome passengers. 

Now that they recognized who was interrupting them, they relaxed a little if only because what was lost was found again. Obi-Wan announced not giving them time to react fully, "I need to speak with you."

["What is that Jedi doing here?"] Kuuur snarled.

Not faltering under the harsh tone, Obi-Wan stated. "I found him. But he's not the reason I'm here." To pull this off, he needed to manifest the image that he was confident and in control. And for him to do this, he realized he needed Qui-Gon's strength more than ever. Drawing from the man, the rogue stood tall and defiant, waiting for them to acknowledge his purpose for coming. 

Now that the Jedi was found, Kuuur slipped back into strict commander instead of furious superior and ordered, ["Mrrogh, take him back to his room."] Jerking his head toward the Jedi, the First Mate looked at the youth expectantly. 

Obi-Wan stopped his friend with a raised hand. Keeping his gaze locked onto amber eyes, he countered, "That won't be necessary. I will take him back after we have finished talking." Mrrogh waited in the middle of the stand off, looking back and forth between them. 

Kuuur growled but relented at the same time. ["So what did you come to say then that the Jedi is able to hear?"]

Obi-Wan moved closer to the pair, distancing himself from the reserved Knight. This was still something he had to do alone. Regarding both of his companions he said, "I have come to thank you. I know that, against your better judgement," he looked pointedly at Kuuur, "you have risked yourselves to rescue me and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated it."

Mrrogh's crystalline eyes sparkled, he had been Obi's unofficial body guard since Tuuvu took over. He had also been one of the younger members of Drrov's crew. Fortunately, he did not witness much of what happened during that time, but he was not completely unawares. Softly, he said, ["We couldn't just leave you."] Without understanding the words, Qui-Gon could still sense the wealth of emotions in the man's tone. Once again he pondered the course that they were undeniable headed, and how much it will change them all. Releasing his concerns, he focused on the discussion at hand as best he could.

Smiling up at the large being, Obi-Wan was equally touched by both the words and the sentiments. Placing a hand on the furred forearm, he responded with genuine feeling, "I know, I just wanted you to tell you that I was touched by it."

Kuuur stood with his arms crossed, his tone dark he demanded, ["Is that all you've come to say?"] These heartfelt emotions were not lost to the harsh Togorian, rather he was overly receptive to them. But in addition to that he knew there was something darker, something he wouldn't like smoldering beneath the surface that he wanted revealed. He had very little patience and everyone knew it.

Turning to Kuuur, sea-change eyes dulled. He knew the contradiction that he represented in the First mate's life and he had only wished he could free him of it. But he no longer had the option, his time was waning quickly. And he had a task to complete. "No," he replied, sounding more exhausted than he intended. Purposefully, he came up and rested a hand on the agitated Togorian's arm then guided him further away from the others. In hushed tones, he continued, "I have come here for another reason."

["And what's that?"] As much as he sounded harsh, it was not from anger that Kuuur spoke now rather worry. From the moment the boy had entered the room, warning bells began ringing in his mind. The presence of the Jedi only made his apprehension worse. Now he definitely knew that whatever he had feared would only be a shadow of what he was about to discover.

Taking a moment to organize his thoughts, Obi began, "You have been with Tuuvu for a long time. And you have been a good friend to him. I _need_ you to be his friend - now more than ever." Obi paused trying to keep a semblance of calm, but he feared he may yet lose the battle. Once again he quickly sought out the Jedi's well of strength, using it to fortify his stamina the instant he felt it crumbling. Still he had not been quick enough to stop the sting in his eyes. The First mate studied him and he could almost hear the rapid heartbeat of the larger being. He found it hard to maintain eye contact and finally gave up trying. His face dropped to the floor as he closed his eyes. His motions released a stray tear that traced a line over bruised flesh.

Kuuur's eyes widened in sudden understanding, he muttered, ["You're leaving."] Unable to deny it, the boy kept his face hidden under caramel strands. The amber gaze quickly moved to take in the silent form of the Jedi. And for the first time, Kuuur spoke so that Qui-Gon could understand him. "This is you're fault!" He hissed, in an instant moving to attack the formidable human. But immediately Obi-Wan intercepted him, barely able to hold him back. 

"No! Stop. It's not his doing." He pleaded with the First mate. By now, Mrrogh had come over to help the rogue. Kuuur continued to vocalize his displeasure in a multitude of languages while Obi kept at him. "Kuuur, listen. This isn't Master Jinn's fault." Then hushed tones revealed something that startled both Togorians, "It's mine."

["What?"] They said in shocked unison. 

Hastily he conveyed his reasoning, hoping that they would somehow understand. "I needed to protect you all and I needed to make sure those children were safely returned. I did the only thing I could think of at the time. You must believe me." Desperation laced his tone. He began to wonder if he could convince them enough to help him. Unfortunately, it was too late to turn back now.

"Jedi *ggrrndd!*" Kuuur spat, "Was it not enough to destroy his spirit that you have to strip him of his family?" Another low growl escaped the feline.

Qui-Gon stood looking as nonplussed as possible. But it was hard when faced with such open hatred. He gathered that the guttural noise he heard was some kind of 'colourful metaphor' and thought himself fortunate to not know what it meant. The way the Togorian spurt his words out was not what the Knight expected at all. From previous encounters, he had assumed the First mate disliked the human boy but now he seemed bent on protecting him. Had his judgement been so wrong? Before he could respond, Obi-Wan rushed to his defense.

"He's not. I told you, this was my doing – _my_ choice. Even if we managed to escape, once I was discovered we both know there would have been no way to hide from them." A meaningful glance passed between them and the Togorian seemed to back off just a hair.

Regarding the youth now, he questioned passionately, "So you walk back into the slaughter house freely? Why?" The dark amber gaze searched fervently for an answer in the youthful features.

Qui-Gon was taken aback sharply by the First Mate's question. Never in his entire life had he ever heard the term 'slaughter house' used when describing the Jedi or the Temple. He realized then that it was quite possible that the Togorian had a dislike for Jedi as a whole and not just a dislike of other species, which only augmented his hatred toward him. Qui-Gon could not afford to concern himself with the history apparent that caused such loathing, he needed to be here for Obi-Wan and that's what he was going to do. Returning to the conversation, he listened intently. 

"You know better than anyone the bonds I have to the Order. You know this must be done. It has never been a matter of why, only when. You have asked me many times before what would happen if I was ever discovered and I have never lied to you. It's either the whole crew or me. I know you're a good man and I know what your answer would be. And I would expect no less from you." In a matter of moments, he exonerated the man for his loyalties to the crew. He knew that Kuuur's first priority was to his fellow pirates, believing the needs of the many out weighed the needs of the few – or one. So he was mildly surprised when the Togorian protested. 

"You ask me to betray my Captain?"

"I ask you to be his friend. In his mind, he knows this must be the way, but in his heart he will not accept it. You must be there for him since I will not. You _must_ convince him to go home. I promise I will return to him, but I cannot guarantee when. You have to help him. Do you understand me?" Obi-Wan pleaded – no, begged – him to undertake this responsibility with the full comprehension of how difficult it would be.

"I understand that you are asking me to withhold vital information from my Captain. Then to tell him that he has to walk away from the one being he cares most about." With a sharp glare from the rogue, he quickly added, "Besides Jorri. You're the one person he has already risked the freedom of the entire ship and crew for. The one person that binds this whole crew together. And you expect me to do this?"

"Yes," he answered plainly. "I expect you to not interfere when the time comes, but more importantly, I expect you to keep _Tuuvu_ from interfering." He could see the battle within the sable being and all Obi-Wan could do now was wait. Whatever the decision, he would have to accept it. 

Cursing once more in an ancient dialect, he boar his amber eyes into the Jedi, "I hope you're happy. One more to add to your Jedi casualty list. I'm sure he will not be the last." All the while he was speaking, Obi-Wan tried to interrupt him. 

"Stop it. If that is the will of the Force, so be it. But don't make this worse than it already is. Tuuvu will need you and I can trust no one else with this task. Please don't chalk this up to your vendetta. Now is not the time." Most of the fight in him was dwindling away, leaving the seemingly ever-present weariness in its wake. The youth prayed that this conflict would resolve soon, he didn't know if he could take much more of this pressure.

Sighing, Kuuur muttered, "This will not be easy. He would rather face all the hells of Tinidr than let you fall into Republic hands."

"And I would rather face Republic law before watching him get hurt for me. Jorri still needs him. This crew still needs him. It can survive without me. I'm only a failed Jedi, you are a family and you must realize your potential together. Please," again his hand found its way back to the sable arm, "please, take care of our family."

At long last, and to Obi-Wan's relief, Kuuur conceded defeat, "I see you are bent on this path of destruction. I will let you go, for now. But know this, if you are not back by your Birthday," he looked directly in to the Jedi's sapphire eyes, "I will come and beat down the doors of that Temple and drag you back with me."

Qui-Gon felt it best to speak now, "That will not be necessary. I will vouch for his return by then." Obi-Wan shot a questioning glance in his direction, which he ignored currently. If there would be a time to discuss his declaration, now was not it. It would have to wait.

"Your words mean nothing to me, but there is little choice in the matter. Now get out of here so I can prepare for what is to come." Nodding, the rogue turned away ushering out the Jedi. Mrrogh also took his leave now that their lost passenger had been found. As Obi-Wan was about to follow the others out, he paused to hear Kuuur's final words, "Cub, take care of yourself."

Obi-Wan stood still, his heart clenched when he heard the regret in the voice. It took him a second to gather the will to look back. Managing a small nod, he answered, "I will." Then stepped out of the room, leaving the Togorian alone with his thoughts.

In the hall, Mrrogh and Qui-Gon waited. As he emerged, Mrrogh inquired, "Do you need me for anything?"

Shaking his head, he replied, "Just help Kuuur when the time comes." Silence enveloped the trio. Minutes passed when he finally sliced through the stillness. "We should be landing shortly, go finish up. I'll take Master Jinn back to his room to prepare the children." Hesitating a moment, the selfless young man laid a hand on the tall being's shoulder, "I'll be alright." Reluctantly, the tan and white striped figure nodded then left.

Obi-Wan silently led the Jedi back to his room, stopping only once to inform Master Gallia of their impending arrival. The two Masters exchanged meaningful glances knowing that they would speak later. Heading back now, they entered Liior's room at last and found a sight they were not expecting. Most of the children were laughing and playing with the games their host provided them. Siri stood close by overseeing the competitions. While Bant and Liior sat on his bed chatting. Obi-Wan gave him a curious glance that his friend promptly ignored. Instead, he rose greeting, "Glad to see you back safe, Master Jedi. I was positive you were a goner once I found out you went to the Cap." Slightly surprised by the comment, Qui-Gon repeated his earlier musing, _He should have been brought to the Temple._

Outwardly, he bowed his head at the sentiment and said, "I appreciate your concern, Liior. It is a welcome change for me to hear as I seem to be the source of much anger."

Slightly embarrassed, Liior added, "Well, Bant and I have been talking. She seems to believe you are not an evil man."

"I am definitely glad to hear that." Qui-Gon smiled at the Mon Calamari thankfully.

Before the conversation could continue in its current direction, Obi stepped closer to his friends, both old and new, "What are you doing here?" Obviously, he had not expected either side to converse with the other, and to find them talking about Force knew what, took him completely off guard.

Shrinking fractionally at the question, the calico feline motioned toward the children. "I thought I could offer them something to do while they waited. Was that wrong?" His hazel eyes clearly confused.

Initially, Obi-Wan wanted to shout yes! But he knew it was pointless. Master Jinn already knew of Liior's Force-sensitivity, it would not matter if it was revealed he had some Jedi games to help him develop his skills. Sighing defeatedly, he shook his head, "No." Smiling at his friend, he reassured, "Actually it was very thoughtful of you. I'm sure they appreciated your efforts." Once again turning to look at the group of laughing initiates. A sorrowful expression shaded his features as he remembered a time past. He didn't dwell on it long, regarding the Master, he said, "I will let Master Tahl know. You will know when the moment has come to leave." Abruptly, he turned and headed for his own room.

Qui-Gon immediately went to the children to make sure they began to put things away. Bant and Liior stood next to each other for a moment. Finally, the Togorian slipped his hand into hers and whispered to his new comrade, "He will need you now. Remind him of brighter days. Remind him that we care."

"I will do my best." She replied automatically. Seeing his haunted gaze, she just hoped that somehow it would be enough.

*

When Obi-Wan entered his room, he found the Master recounting one of the old Jedi legends to a captive audience. The story more than likely inspired by their destination. Carefully, he made his way further in. Most of the occupants barely registered his entrance, which he was glad for. However, there was one little Jedi that smiled at his return. Getting up, she came up to him, all the while grinning broadly. Lifting one of her small hands, she offered it to him. Looking down, he didn't know what else to do. He hadn't faced such open innocence in a long time. He soon found himself offering his hand back to her. Grabbing it, she led him to a chair and motioned for him to sit. As soon as he did, she climbed up into his lap to hear the rest of the story. He blushed at her sweet methods of including him, and how she nestled into his lap. He had done this type of thing with some of the crews' children but this felt different to him somehow. Sighing, he resigned himself to wait out the rest of the tale.

Tahl never paused, "So Nomi and Cay went to Ossus in a final attempt to rescue Ulic from the dark. They confronted him and he rejected their help, knocking Nomi down and killing his brother. It was then during his shocked stupor that Nomi was able to block his connection to the Force. Now that the fallen Jedi had believed he had lost everything, he helped the Jedi Knights defeat his Sith Master, Exar Kun. Gathering their strength they were able to destroy Kun in his Temples on Yavin. 

"Ulic eventually became a hermit, hoping to live out the rest of his days in solitude on a frozen planet. But Nomi's daughter Vima sought out her mother's old friend and pleaded with him to show her the ways of the Force. Through his teachings Ulic was able to redeem himself and return to the Light. Upon his death, the great Jedi vanished into the Force. Nomi's descendants can still be found in the Order today. So I want you children to be on your guard when we land on Onderon, I don't want to lose any of you to the Dark Powers." She said it lightly, but Obi-Wan could tell there was an underlining worry in her voice. Even though the evil may have been vanquished on Onderon, she was not taking any chances.

On the rogue's lap, the young girl raised her hand to ask a question, "Master Tahl?"

Acknowledging her, she said, "Yes, Tola."

"I thought that Ulic Q-Qel-Droma," she struggled with the name, "was considered to be a Sith Lord. Many of the other Masters say that once you have turned you can't come back. But you said Ulic redeemed himself before he died. Is it possible?"

Considering her answer for a moment, Tahl spoke mildly seeing all the curious faces in front of her. They were seriously perplexed by this new concept. "Well, Tola, children, the Darkside is very powerful. It corrupts and torments any who fall to its power. And those that do turn have a difficult struggle ahead of them if they ever wish to return to the light. But I believe that with help and the will of the Force, one may come back to the Jedi. That there is always hope." As she spoke, she glanced over all the children and then settled on Tola. 

But soon, Obi-Wan could see the gold and green cat-like eyes staring directly at him. He began to feel uncomfortable under her gaze. Not that she intended to make him so, but because he read into the cryptic message of her tale. Shifting in his seat, he thought ruefully, _I'm beyond hope. Please, don't pretend that I could somehow come back._ Instead of speaking his thoughts aloud, he smiled at the Knight, "We should be landing very shortly, I just wanted you to know and prepare." As if to emphasize his words, there was a shift in the vessel, it was subtle but he knew they felt it. Apparently, they were coming out of hyperspace. "I have one more errand to run and then I will meet up with you later." Carefully, he lifted Tola from his lap and placed her back in the seat once he stood. Heading for the door, he glanced back at the Master, "Please don't forget to hide my bag." 

She nodded and he left to inform the last group of passengers of their arrival. He shivered as a cold shadow fell over him. Ignoring it, he moved through the halls quickly. He came upon the Briefing Room where two guards stood outside, Mrrogh and Dergh. Dergh had obviously been chosen for this duty due to his skill in hand to hand combat. Of all the crew, he had surpassed most of the others in his abilities, which made him valuable during the raids. 

Striding up to them, he greeted his friend again and looked to Dergh. They did not speak often, although that did not mean they weren't friends. In fact, they had often sparred and spent time together. However, their form of communication was more of an understanding than verbal. Staring at the generally white furred being, his eyes conveyed most of his message. When he thought that his message was received, he stretched out a hand and laid it on a shoulder, quietly he said, "Thank you." Nodding his reply, Dergh simply stepped aside to admit the young man into the room.

Obi-Wan stepped inside after taking a deep breath. Shocked and wary faces peered up at him from around the room. Standing a little taller, expressing a confidence he did not feel, he announced, "We have come out of hyperspace. You should begin preparing for landing." Most of them glanced at each other in confusion.

It was young Andon Hobbsbreath who voiced their bewilderment, "Are you sure we returned to normal space? We didn't feel anything."

Looking at the young man he had assisted upon release from his binds, Obi-Wan clarified, "I doubt you would have, but I can assure you we have." Obi-Wan then regarded Captain Lessik directly, "Once you have unloaded, I will meet you all outside. Then you may collect the last of your _cargo_."

Captain Lessik rose and walked up to the rogue. He stood in front of the boy and placed both hands on his shoulders, his tone full of something the youth never expected, compassion. "Are you sure you want to go through with this son?"

Startled, his young brow furrowed. For a long moments he peered up bewildered at the human Captain. He was utterly baffled, in a matter of an hour he had now been offered acquittal twice. Their motives left him wanting, why did they all seem to want him to back down? To escape the justice waiting for him. It was beyond belief. Was it even possible for him to go back to his pirate life and pretend to live without feeling as if he must constantly look over his shoulder? That he would be free to live out the rest of his days without expecting disaster just over the horizon? Would he want to now? No, he knew hat he must answer for his crimes. Resignation flooded him, composing his features back into the mask of stoicism, he declined, "It is beyond my control now. I am ready to face my judgement." Then before anything else could be said, he removed himself from the hold and walked out.

Staring at the closed door, Kohnwei came up behind his Captain, "I don't know which I would prefer the Courts or the Jedi. Either way, it looks bad for him." A sense of pity flowed through the room and a few of the others nodded their agreement. 

"I don't know, but I think the Jedi will be far kinder at the moment. Despite the possible unpleasantries coming, I do believe that Master Qui-Gon will treat the boy accordingly. Probably much better than CSF, although they could find their hands full if they aren't careful." Lessik once again hinting at the power held deep within the young man. He was no fool, he believed wholeheartedly, if the boy hadn't decided to surrender they would have the fight of their lives on their hands to capture him. 

Griven's eyes shot up when he heard the odd discussion. Slowly a realization came to him, inquiring harshly he asked, "He's a Force user? Like the Jedi?"

Not thinking anything of it, Ja answered, "Apparently, he was once a Jedi student. But he was lost a few years ago."

Nev chimed back in, adding sarcastically, "Guess they found him now." Responding nods let the conversation drift back into silence. Their time in confinement was almost at an end. Now they prepared to leave and report the outcome of their venture to various officials.

Unbeknownst to them, the pilot's eyes narrowed in dark contemplation. A new idea began to form in his head. A small curve of his lips formed an evil grin. Anxious to land and put his plan in motion, Griven did his best to exude calm. It would only be a few minutes until they landed and then he would make the boy suffer.

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Well, I hope you enjoyed this chap as much as I did. I tossed in a few more snipets of intrigue that I hope took you a little off guard. Anyway, just wanted to fore warn you that next chap you _might_ want a box of tissues around. Well, at least I hope that's the reaction you'll have. Until then, Thanks for reading!! :D

nat – Awww, thanks! :8} That's what I was going for, so I'm glad to hear I accomplished it. ;) I am trying to keep to my schedule. Just keep reviewing and I'll be sure to stay motivated. ;) :D

Bluejedi - :8} Thank you very much!! I really liked their conversation. I'm hoping to get back to her again real soon, more than just 'cameos.' Thanks again! :D

K-rock – Sorry it took you so long, don't you know that school and real life are supposed to take a back seat to my stories???? lol j/k I'll be waiting for the RH thing. Don't rush, I've got my hands full here at the moment anyway. ;) shhhhh, but next chap I believe is the long awaited scene everyone is looking for. ]:) So, you'll just have to wait one more week. Mwahahahahaha :D

Criket – So nice to see you back! :D And I'm hoping to keep you guessing for a while longer, so don't plan on coming to a decision any time soon. ;) :p 


	21. Chapter 20: So Comes to Pass

__

Chapter 20: So Comes to Pass…

"Hold on to me love,  
You know I can't stay long  
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid.  
Can you hear me?  
Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath  
Safe inside myself  
Are all my thoughts of you  
Sweet raptured light  
It ends here tonight." - My Last Breath (Evanescence - Fallen)

Obi-Wan leaned with a heavy sigh on the door that closed behind him. Glad to be out of that room, he shivered from the feel of the pilot's hatred bleed its way into him. It was almost a nauseating sensation. Sighing again, he knew it would all be over soon. Too soon in his opinion, but there was nothing he could do for it. Hastily, he made his way to the bridge to give his final report. Inside he found Tuuvu standing over his piloting crew, gazing out the viewport. A peaceful blue and green planet was steadily approaching. 

Coming up to stand next to his Patron, Obi-Wan cleared his throat. Tuuvu immediately smiled and placed large paw on the boy's shoulder. The man didn't say anything, but then again he didn't have to. Obi-Wan could see the relief and love in every line of his Patron. Focusing on the growing image, he dutifully reported, "I have told our passengers to prepare. It should not take long to unload them so that you may head home." Thankfully, Obi-Wan was glad that the Togorian didn't pick up on his subtle hint at saying 'you' and not 'we.'

Oblivious, Tuuvu muttered, "Good, I will be happy to be rid of them, especially that Jedi." The Togorian paused remembering the long conversation he had with the aforementioned Knight. "It will good to be home. I miss Jorri, as I know you do. She will be pleased to see us again."

Looking down at the ground, Obi-Wan swallowed the lump that began to form. "I love her very much. I have missed her soothing touch and delicious meals." When he had first been brought to their home, she had tended to his wounds with such tenderness and care that even now, he sometimes appreciated her ministrations over any healer's. And though the meals in the Temple weren't inherently bad, even her rushed mix of meals could make your knees wobble. He doubted that where he was going, they would treat him so well.

"As have I. If we can take off again inside the hour we should be home in time for last meal." Still caught up in his own eagerness to get back underway, Tuuvu had not yet picked up on his cub's emotional struggle.

Not trusting his voice any longer, he nodded. Then the former Jedi made sure his shields were tramped down tighter than he ever had before. He could not risk his guardian sensing any of his wayward emotions if this were to go as he planned. He noticed Kuuur slip in quietly behind him. Now it was only a matter of time before the end arrived and they all waited in silence.

Landing went smoothly. They received clearance for one of the ports in Iziz by stating that they were a freighter that picked up some passengers that had been attacked. It wasn't a total lie but it wasn't exactly the truth either. From the instant they touched down, some of the crew began ushering out their passengers. It didn't take long to get them all unloaded, in fact just over a half-hour. Within that timeframe so much happened. The Jedi gathered and found a lounge that the children could stay in while they waited for new transport. Most of the crew went with the Jedi but some had broken off to perform various tasks. The crew of the _Night's Scream_ quickly obtained a few more supplies and refueled, while the young rogue anxiously awaited the coming storm. When most of these duties were completed, the heads of the three groups went to meet one last time. 

*

Mortius Griven, Tenadden Maad and Wuan Jeswick found an information kiosk further into the Port. There they were able to obtain the directions for the Republic Security Office that every Port was required to have. Quickly they made their way to it and went inside. 

A young man who looked like he was fresh out of the Academy sat behind a desk. He didn't even look up at their arrival. Frustrated, Griven slammed his hand down on the desk, startling the rookie, "We need Security."

Jumping at the sudden sound, the young man jerked, "I'm sorry." Quickly, he glanced over the trio then fell into his procedures, "Uh, what is the state of the emergency?"

Glancing over at the Duros, Griven knew his presence was there to make sure he did not inform them of the rest of the Pirates. However, he was prepared to leave that aspect alone for the moment. He had a better plan in place than worrying about some lowly Togorians. He knew once it was set in motion there would be no stopping it. A malicious grin on his face, he answered the receptionist's question, "We have captured one of the Togorian Pirates that have been attacking Republic Cruisers over the past decade or so. It's the human among them that we are holding. We request that you send a squad to contain him for transport back to Coruscant."

The rookie typed in the information then stopped, tapping a comm unit. "Official Er'k Lanthr, please come to reception for duty assessment." Turning back to the waiting group, he said, "Someone will be with you momentarily, please take a seat." He motioned for them to take a chair along the wall.

Griven looked at him like he had just grown three heads. Nonplussed, Rem Yxxus stared back for a moment and then went back to his reports. Meanwhile, Wuan Jeswick came up beside the pilot and whispered harshly, "What do you think you're doing, Mort? You were only supposed to report his capture. The Jedi were to take him back to Coruscant and then hand him over to the authorities."

Not wavering under the severity of the Duros' tone, he stated, "There's been a slight change. The murderer will be taken into custody now. The Jedi already have too much to handle with their kids, it would be better this way." He glanced over at his friend, Maad and noticed a small grin of approval. 

Wuan butted in, "You're doing this out of revenge. The Captain will not like this."

"Like I care," he shrugged. But before the argument could continue, a tall man in his mid-forties walked into the room. 

His black hair was offset by pale skin and yellow eyes. Not even regarding the visitors, he bellowed in a commanding voice, "Let's have it Yxxus."

Immediately, the younger officer stood and addressed his senior. "Sir, they claim to have captured one of the Pirates that have plagued our space routes and wish to have him apprehended."

"Uh huh," he accepted the information, pondering briefly over the task. "Well, we should be able to handle this." Turning, he finally addressed the waiting party. "So, you have one of the Pirates."

Griven readily answered, "Yes, the human that has been spotted among them."

Somewhat curious, Lanthr pressed, "And how were you able to capture him?"

Wuan thought it best to cut in at this point, he could at least guarantee that the rest of their deal would not go sour. He relayed the half-truth that was told to them upon arrival. "The Pirates attacked our ship. During the raid they had to make a hasty retreat, leaving the boy behind. Fortunately, another ship showed up and was able to assist us back here." 

Lanthr turned back to Yxxus and demanded, "Get the Detainment Task group up here." A thought seemed to occur to the Official and he asked the trio, "How dangerous would you say this pirate is?"

"Lethal, sir." Griven answered. Maad nodded in agreement, doing his best to support his friend.

"Have them fully armed and with our best binders, Rem." The elder Security Official, leaned over the desk to grab a datapad. He would need to fill out an official report in order to obtain the proper authorization to apprehend the pirate rogue. Muttering a 'yessir' from behind the counter, Rem began alerting the rest of the Task force.

It was only a matter of time now and the vengeful man decided it was time to reveal the final piece of his plan. Stepping closer to the Official, Griven whispered, "Sir, may I make a suggestion. You may want to bring one other item with you…."

*

Tuuvu left with a small entourage comprised of Kuuur, Mrrogh and Obi-Wan. They made their way over to where Captain Fen Lessik, Nev Obser and Ja Kohnwei were waiting in the Terminal. Standing next to the _Zenah_ crew were Jedi Masters, Adi Gallia and Qui-Gon Jinn. With each forced step the tension grew.

Most of the main players in this drama were within arm's length of each other now. Lessik broke the stand off first, clearing his throat he began, "I would like to thank you, Captain, for your cooperation and the safe passage. Some of my crew are seeking other means of transportation back to the Central Core as we speak."

The subtle edge in the Pirate Captain's tone, reminded everyone that he was still an adversary. "It was not by choice, but I am glad the children will be safe." But the Jedi could sense his genuine feeling toward the wellbeing of their initiates.

"Yes, and for that _we_ would like to extend our gratitude," Adi thanked. Glancing at her peer, she added, "Even under adverse conditions the children seem as if the ordeal was something of everyday occurrence."

"Your children are remarkable. But then again, I should have expected that." He glanced over at his cub lovingly and with a hint of pride.

An awkward silence filled the gap between them, Lessik eyed the boy and said, "It seems that our pact is all but complete." He let the underlying meaning hang, waiting to be addressed. But his prompt was overshadowed by the Togorian.

"I expect you to hold up your end. We are free to go now that you have been released. And we better not be followed." In Tuuvu's mind, there were no other provisions to this arrangement. Now all he wanted to guarantee was the safety of his crew and then leave. But what fate had in store would test them all.

Lessik, agreed, "I do not anticipate a problem with that. However we do have one last item to consider." This time, he would get the final stipulation out in the open. His gaze regarded the young man, waiting.

Tuuvu glanced between them, uncertain, "What other item?"

Obi-Wan decided it was now or never. So many things came and went in his mind that he wanted and needed to say. No matter how badly he would like to say them all, he knew that he no longer had the time. Stepped in front of his Captain, he let his heart speak for him, "You know I love you, Patron, don't you?"

The youth's voice was timid. Nodding, he answered, "And I you." Tuuvu was about to question the reason for telling him now, when he noticed something in the sparkling sea-washed eyes. His breath caught in his chest, as fear squeezed him like a vise.

Finding courage from somewhere deep inside him, Obi-Wan continued, "That is why I did what I had to do. You have risked so much to help and protect me. You've even risked your own freedom for my sake. But now it's my turn. You've done everything you could, but you knew it couldn't last."

Finally able find his voice again, coarsely, he pleaded, "What are you saying? Please, let's just go home."

Moisture swelled in turbulent seas, his own eloquent voice rough with laden emotion, "Remember I'll always love you. And Jorri. You are more than friends or crewmates, you are my family." Obi-Wan stepped closer and embraced his father, whom he feared he would never see again. 

Holding the young man tightly, Tuuvu returned the gesture with all his heart. The rest of the world was lost to them, only they existed in this moment. But only seconds after the embrace began, he felt one of the boy's arms fall away. He found this odd, because he knew how much his cub craved affection. And he never broke away from a hug prematurely. Opening his eyes, which he hadn't realized he closed, the world became a horrible nightmare. The boy's other arm was torn from its place as binders were clamped around slender wrists. Softly, he whispered, "no." The litany repeating with each heartbeat and increasing in volume and fervor. 

When his denial hit its peak, chaos erupted all around them. It seemed everyone was talking - _shouting_ - trying to be heard over the resounding din that filled the spaceport. Tuuvu drank in the sight and reacted violently, Kuuur and Mrrogh countering him. They restrained their Captain as per the conversation held in the First Mate's Office only an hour before. "Let go of him," the Pirate Captain bellowed at the unfeeling guards. Then he growled through barred teeth, "Let go of _me_, you fools, we have to help cub!"

Kuuur answered in an even tone, a hint of resignation in his words, "He is already lost." For a single moment, the world stopped. Unable to accept this, Tuuvu roared.

Lessik and his companions were shouting at the Security Forces as well as Griven demanding the boy's release. "What are you doing? Security was not yet to be involved," Fen argued.

Official Lanthr responded, "We have come by request of your Pilot, Griven." The elderly human Captain turned on his crewman.

The Jedi were caught in the middle, they wanted to assist with getting the Pirate Captain away while arguing with the Squad Leader. Griven smiled contentedly at the chaos he had wrought, hoping that the Pirates would take the bait and cause their own imprisonment. Tightly gripping hands on his arms tore him from his enjoyment.

"Griven, what is the meaning of this?" Lessik demanded.

Shaking the angered man off, he justified his cause, "You said I could contact the authorities."

Lessik's hands shot out, indicating the turmoil just beyond them, "But this wasn't supposed to happen. You were to have them waiting on Coruscant."

Smugly, he added to his defense, "Coruscant. Onderon. What's the difference? He's a criminal and should be treated as such. We shouldn't be waiting until we get back to Coruscant."

Realizing it was too late to stop this, Lessik left his crewman with the possible consequences of his misjudgment, "You've gone too far. You will be suspended for this, if not fired." They glared at each other for a long time before their attention was brought back to the chaos around them.

Qui-Gon was looking harshly at Er'k Lanthr, "That is unnecessary. He is to remain in our custody until we arrive on Coruscant. Now remove the binders." Qui-Gon had always considered himself a patient and compromising man, but he despised being usurped. And the fact that a member of the High Council was present did nothing to assuage his anger. 

The Official waved his hands in front of him as a sign that he was not going to budge on this issue, "I'm sorry Master Jedi, but that is not going to happen. You have a dangerous criminal here and procedures dictate every precaution must be adhered to. While he's on our planet, in our port, he will be dealt with as we see fit. And I don't think it will be any different from what CSF will require. We are all guided by the same rules." The gentle reminder that they were still a division of the Republic's Security Force, the same as the Coruscant Security Force. They all worked for the Republic, but each planet had an their own Security that answered to their planet's and the Republic's needs.

Just as stubborn (if not more so) than the Official, Qui-Gon continued to dispute this action, "But we will vouch for him. He is not as dangerous as lead to believe."

Realizing that simple fact may win the battle for the moment, Lanthr put forth, "Is he one of the Pirates?" A nod from the Knight confirmed his answer. "Is he not implicated in a murder and involved with numerous criminal activities?" Again a reluctant nod. "Is he not Force-sensitive with enough training to be considered dangerous?" At this Qui-Gon could not respond. He was too shocked by the question to even consider answering. _How had the Security Force known of Obi-Wan's abilities?_ He wondered. It's not as if they hid them but it was not something he thought well known among the _Zenah_ crew to be used against the boy. Not like it mattered now, he knew that there was no way to deny the truth.

When Adi realized he was not going to respond, she affirmed harshly, "Yes, put in those terms, you would be correct on all counts."

Shrugging, everything seemed clean-cut and straightforward to him. "Then our course of action is settled. Finish restraining the prisoner." Lanthr called over his shoulder to his lieutenant. To the Jedi Masters' horror an object had been produced that sent shivers up their spines.

"NO!! Leave him alone!" Tuuvu screamed. Desperately trying to break free, the Togorian demanded his cub's release. Deciding that they would never listen to him, he changed his strategy, "Cub, Fight them!" It was then that he realized that his cub had not struggled against his captors. The complacency and acceptance shown clearly in his eyes. It hit him with the force of a gale wind that Obi-Wan had been expecting his capture and all this time he had been trying to say good-bye. But the knowledge came too late and he was losing his son.

"You have to get out of here!" Obi-Wan pleaded. For an instant he forgot about the binders and tried to wave them off. But the strain of his arms and the pinch of his wrists reminded him of the futility of the gesture. His fate was already decided, but he had to ensure his family's escape. Continuing his plea, he bade them, "Please, Go."

Kuuur cut in, "We must leave." His own amber eyes echoing the tear in emotions within him. He did not want to be the one who tore his Captain and friend away from his son. He even understood the man's violent reaction, knowing what he would have done if it was Liior and himself in that position. But he had a duty, one that Obi-Wan had reminded him of. His duty to the crew. The remorse in his low tones were lost to the distraught being he held, but he needed to reiterate the possible dangers of remaining, "We can't risk being captured too."

"Listen to Kuuur," Obi-Wan tried to take a step forward but was held firmly in place by his guards. "You have to get out of here, the others are counting on you to get them home." 

Tuuvu protested vehemently, "No, I won't leave without you! You are my Cub!" 

"I know, I know. You are my Patron." Obi-Wan tried to soothe the tremendous agony of their souls. "The father of my heart. You saved me. Now let me save you. Go!" He had sacrificed so much to ensure their impunity and he prayed that somehow in the midst of this good-bye gone wrong, that his family would accept his decision and head for the safety of home. But the adamant refusal to concede blazed in the dark emerald depths and he feared that all would be lost. 

"NO!" Tuuvu struggled once again against his companions. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he didn't understand how they could hold him back and seem so unaffected by the injustice that played out before them.

"Tuuvu," Kuuur hastily spoke, "if we do not leave now, all of us are lost." He had been noticing the subtle glares of the Security Force around them. "The boy has promised to return and he will. But we must leave before it's too late."

To the Pirate Captain, gentle patron, compassionate friend, he only had one concern that demanded his entire attention. And there was no risk too great to achieve his goal. "Who cares? We must free Cub."

"I care, Patron." The soft Core accent that had become music to his ears now sang a song of melancholy. There was something else hidden deep within the tones – possibly hope – hope of understanding. "What good is my freedom when my family is imprisoned?"

The resignation and desperation in the sparkling sea-change eyes tore at the man's heart. The words hit him like a ton of duracrete. And for an instant he stopped struggling and simply looked at his child. In one question, the boy had conveyed a wealth of answers. All he had to do was see the truth for what it was. His son willingly martyred himself for the sake of his family. He must let him go. But how can one simply walk away from their heart? 

As he pondered these things, caring young rogue spoke from the depths of his being. "I love you. I love Jorri. I love you all. You have become my family and will always be held in my heart. Now go home and take care of them." Suddenly, his world ripped apart. Cool metal encircled his neck, choking him off from his source of strength. Instantly, he crumpled to the ground gagging. He felt as if he were in a raging ocean, drug down into the dark by powerful undercurrents, filling his lungs with a deadly nothingness. The world shrank and he desperately fought to reach the surface, agony seized him as he sought air. Unaware of the battle around him, he slowly worked his way back to the living. Vaguely aware of the protests and noise, he focused on the one being that was most important to him now. 

Gazing up from his hunched position, he peered into the bright jade eyes of his Patron. Taking deep gulping breaths, he managed to find his voice. It was weak and strained but he knew Tuuvu could hear him, "Thank you. Thank you for showing me where home is." Nausea swept over him, doubling him back over. With the last of his waning strength he looked up and begged, "go, please." Unable to say more, he leaned forward pressing his forehead to the cool ground. There he began to slip into the void of darkness that had housed his constant companion, the Force, only moments before. 

A piercing howl cut through the crowded port, sending most of its patrons to the floor in a panic. The second the band clamped down on his cub's neck, Tuuvu renewed his struggle. He watched in horror as his child was reduced to a mass of pain and torment right before his eyes. His vision blurred and he was only vaguely aware of the sobs shaking him. His heart could barely take any more, when he heard the soft, cultured voice of his son. His knees became weak when the painfilled boy _thanked_ him. He just couldn't believe that through everything, the youth wanted to thank him. He stretched out his hand to wipe away the boy's tears, but could not reach. Then Obi-Wan slumped all the way to the ground. Growling once more, the Togorian felt renewed strength, and he knew he could break free of their hold.

Qui-Gon shouted just as they were about to put the collar on. But he knew he was too late to stop them. Immediately, he grabbed Lanthr's jacket collar. "Get that abomination off of him now," he demanded.

"We have already discussed this. This is protocol, Master Jedi, and it will be upheld." Carefully, he reached up and removed the man's hands. Then he turned and watched the scene with great interest. The ship that brought the Jedi and crew to safety was manned by Togorians. And they seemed upset over the boy's capture. Slowly he began putting the pieces together.

Unable to dissuade the Security Guard, Qui-Gon immediately moved to help the boy. He stopped midway, when he heard the rogue croak out his last thought then crumple further. He was about to check the boy when he heard a growl behind him. Suddenly, the Togorian Captain broke free from his companions. However, the Jedi Master was able to hold him back until the others were able to catch up. Peripherally, he noticed Lanthr's questioning gaze and knew their time was up. Harshly, he instructed, "You have to leave now. We've no more time to delay."

Determined, Tuuvu snapped, "I am not leaving without my Cub."

"Listen," The Jedi gave him a quick shake, pulling the feline's attention to him. "Listen to me, Obi-Wan made this bargain to protect you. If you are caught now, everything - _Everything_ - he has done would have been in vain." He could feel the pressure against him begin to slacken as reasoning began to take over. "Do you want to make his sacrifice pointless? Would his surrender be worthwhile if you shared his cell?"

Tuuvu could feel the sting of tears in his eyes, as he knew what duty demanded of him. His gaze flickered from the crumpled form of his son to the man that kept him from his cub's side. Anger stirred deep within him. Grabbing on to the Jedi's tunics he snapped, "You promised we would be together until his birthday. You _promised!_"

The Jedi slowly began pushing the Pirate Leader back toward his ship. Not concerned about the ferocity of the man's voice, Qui-Gon answered firmly, "I promised he would be there _for_ his birthday, nothing more. And he will be, I swear it. But it can only happen if you are free."

Stealing one last glance at the huddled form on the ground, his grip tightened until his hands shook from the effort. "Swear to me Jedi. Swear on your Order. Swear on your life - on the life of your loved ones - that he will be there. Swear it!"

Steadily, the Jedi met the man's gaze dead on. In a voice of pure conviction he declared emphasizing the last few words, "I swear on my life and of all those that I hold dear, he - will - be - there."

"If not, I will hunt you down until I breathed my last and you are dead."

"If not, I will find you and give you the knife to slit my throat." The seriousness of their pact did not go unnoticed by the others but it was an issue that would be settled at another time. 

Lanthr had had enough, it was obvious now that the 'kind-hearted' passersby were more than they claimed. He motioned to his men to close in. Suddenly, Lessik as well as his men and Adi Gallia blocked their advancement. "No! We have our prisoner, let the others go."

"But they could be the Pirates that attacked you." The Security Official protested.

"That doesn't matter right now. They brought us back to safety after the attack. They could simply have been in the area as well. Besides, you have no proof that they are Pirates. It would look very bad if you detained innocent people."

Lanthr considered his option for a moment before responding, "I can't believe you would defend those that attacked you, sir. So you better hope that I am not letting vicious criminals escape." Glaring at Lessik, he motioned for his men to stand down.

Adi confirmed, "You have made the correct decision, sir."

The Togorians were halfway to their vessel when the crowd's attention refocused on them. The Jedi was still leading them back. Tuuvu roared one more time at the torment of leaving his son behind, then finally released his grip on the Jedi. Qui-Gon stopped, knowing the battle was finally over. The Togorians turned and walked up their ramp. At the top, Tuuvu lingered, before hitting the control that sealed the hatch behind him. Their universe had been torn asunder, but it was only the beginning of the trials ahead.

----------------------------------------------------

Well, it may not be as tear jerky as I thought. But I think it was still a good emotional rush, right? Sorry I didn't get this up on Friday but my internet was not co-operating with me. Well, I hope you enjoyed it! :D

lighted eagle – Yeah, I like that sentence too. ;) Actually there are a few in here that I'm like 'Wow, that's good. I wish I could write like that!' And then one of the little voices in my head say, 'You did stupid!' *smack* And I'm like, 'Oh, wow. Are you sure?' Then they smack their forehead and shake it. I'm still not 100% sure why though. And thanks for introducing me, I've met a few of them before, but I doubt they would have remembered me. :8} That's really cool. I'm so glad it was somewhat easy reading. I strive not to be too harsh with you guys. ;) Anyway, me and a few of the colours were gonna take in a movie. I'll catch'ya later. Have fun. :D

paddyjuan – It's so nice to see you! :D And no, unfortunately not. Obi's got a heap load waiting for him. ]:)

K-rock – Yeah, Griven's still a little upset, which is obviously effecting his judgement. I hope you _like_ what his plan was. ]:) So was "the scene" what you were hoping for?? Unfortunately, work was not any kinder to me than your school and work are to you. :( I was only able to touch this up Friday morning when things were semi slow. By the end of the day I was so annoyed I was on the verge of tears and then home didn't help much either. But it's over now and it's time to move on. I hope the patience exercises worked. But since you didn't have too much to do I hope you got a little further along on the _other_ project. I think it's lookin' really good and I'm actually starting to get anxious about working on it. So, thanks for kick startin' my butt! ;D

Death Rider – That's ok. I'm just glad you're sticking with me. :D Well, you had a pretty good idea a long time ago with where I'm heading with all this. I don't want to say anything because I still want some people to be surprised. And they're not working for him now, but I'm not saying that their ties were completely severed either. ]:) Anyway, keep watching for more clues! :D

saiyuki123 – Thanks!! :D I'll do my best to stick to my schedule. Keep your eyes peeled for more. ;)

Fudge - :8} Flatterer!! Are you hoping to get a new chappie out of me sooner?? Well, if you keep that up I just might try to accommodate you. :D Thanks!!!

Criket – LOL, well, I'm sorry ff.n was not so co-operative. Hopefully this one won't cause you so much trouble. But I am flattered that you had to go to another site just to read it. :8} You're so sweet!! Thanks! And I think your fear is well founded. ]:) Hope you liked this chap! :D

Shan – Hmmmm, I didn't think I shortened it. I actually thought I embellished it well. LOL, Angst expert, huh? I like it! :D Yeah, you're lucky I share so much of this with you. But your help and advice has been so invaluable to me, I'm glad that you're so wonderful!! I'll check in with you later. Thanks for all your incredible support! :D

starre – LOL, well, I hope you still managed to get your revisions done. And after this chap, all I can say is I'm sorry. Obi's not gonna be able to stay there. :( Please don't be too mad at me. Thanks for reading! :D


	22. Chapter 21: Shades of Grey

Chapter 21: Shades of Grey

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"When the world and I were young, just yesterday.  
Life was such a simple game a child could play.

It was easy then to tell right from wrong  
Easy than to tell weak from strong  
When a man should stand and fight or just go along

But today there is no day or night  
Today there is no dark or light  
Today there is no black or white  
Only shades of gray." - Shades of Gray(Monkees - Headquarters)

Obi-Wan fought to remain somewhat coherent through the nauseating haze that engulfed him. It had been so long since he had to endure the effects of a Force Collar. And even when he had, years ago, his body was so riddled with pain and his mind delusional he barely noticed its effects. But now when his body was virtually whole, and the loving power flowed through him constantly, being stripped of it almost drowned him in darkness. It was only his desire to see his family escape that kept him from succumbing to its will. 

In the distance he could hear the familiar engines power up. Rolling to his side, he peered through half opened lids to watch as the craft slowly lifted from its berth and headed out to open space. Amazingly, he found the strength to smile. His family was safe, for now. It didn't matter anymore what happened to him, they were free. When they had completely vanished from sight, he was willing to submit, but his body had grown accustomed to the emptiness. Still feeling a bit nauseated, his mind gradually comprehended the heated debate around him.

Now that Qui-Gon had guaranteed that the Pirates were out of harm's way, he refocused his attention on the current situation. Turning back, he glared at the Security Official in charge. Storming up to the man, he began, doing his best to keep some semblance of calm, "Official…?" 

"Lanthr." The stern man provided.

"Official Lanthr," Qui-Gon began again, "I understand that you would want to follow proper procedures when handling dangerous criminals, however you have been misinformed in this case."

Now that the rage of emotions was fading back into mere memory as civility took over, Er'k Lanthr decided that diplomacy might be his best course of action. "How so? We've already verified the information I have been provided, so I think everything is in order."

Assuming his negotiator stance, his hands gripped his forearms tightly. "Not necessarily. Were you informed that the prisoner has willing turned himself in for prosecution?"

"No." Lanthr shook his head and shrugged.

Captain Lessik had come over to listen to the conversation. He did not approve of the way things were being handled as well. Joining in the crusade, he added, "It's true you know. He willingly traded himself in. To truss him up and bind him so, is a terrible infraction on that pact." Agitated, his hands punctuated his statement. 

The security Official glance between them incredulously. "Sirs, I do not entirely understand this compassion for a vicious criminal. I can only go by the facts. Even if he turned himself in, as you say, I would still be forced to follow procedures. We have to maintain order and there is no absolute proof that you can provide that would dictate my actions otherwise. He will remain in our custody until you have acquired sufficient transport back to Coruscant." Giving his final answer, Lanthr was about to turn away and head back to their offices, but an urgent voice stopped.

"Official Lanthr," the Knight called, desperate to get the offending restraint off the rogue. "Do you have any idea what it's like to be choked to a point right before you pass out?" It was the only thing he could think of. If he could gain the man's compassion for the prisoner, he might yield the results he was vying for.

The Security Captain's wrinkled features bordered utter confusion and downright annoyance. "What does that have to do with any of this?"

"It is _not_ a very pleasant experience, I can assure you. But just try to imagine, you have been tied up and someone has placed a collar on you that is so tight it restricts your air. Not enough to kill you and not even enough to cause unconsciousness. But to keep you in a state where you feel as if you cannot obtain a full breath but can still get some air. All you can do is gasp for the tiny wisps to keep you alive and aware. That, in a sense is what has happened to that young man when you placed that abomination around his neck." Qui-Gon searched with his eyes and his senses to see if any of his words had penetrated the man's defenses. He hoped that now the Official might realize the agony he was putting his charge through and relieve him of this discomfort. When he felt no reaction, he requested, "Now I ask you one more time to take that collar off." At the end of his speech, his voice took on an edge sharper than a precision laser cutter. 

Er'k Lanthr had been with the OSF for his entire career. And he had seen and heard just about everything. Too often in the early days he had allowed his personal feelings to get the better of his judgement and he paid for it as well. He could not afford to take chances. Looking up at the Republic's authoritarian resolutely, he refused to buckle, not even to a Jedi. "I have told you before, I cannot do that."

Unable to stand silently by, Lessik interjected, "But look what it is doing to him." After hearing what the effects were like, the Captain was even more disturbed by the twisted actions that brought them to this. "To put him through this torture is highly unnecessary when he has come of his own volition. Please remove it."

Lanthr squared his shoulders, pointedly regarded them with hardened yellow eyes and said, "Look, I don't care what the circumstances are that brought him here. I have a job to do and I'm going to do it. If I bend now, I may as well turn my back on all the edicts I have sworn to uphold. It's a matter of duty, and I will do what I am supposed to do."

Qui-Gon had had enough of reasoning. Stepping up to the man so he towered over him, and their noses almost touched, he commanded, "Remove that collar. I will not ask you again." Their wills battle for only a moment when a new voice entered the conversation. One that surprised them all.

"You are correct, Qui-Gon. You will not ask him again. You will stand down now and accept this." Adi Gallia had come to stand next to him.

Stupefied at her order, he merely glanced at her in stunned disbelief. A moment later, he recovered and glared at the Councilor harshly, "Do not pretend that this outrage is justified, Master."

Adi looked into the furrowed features of her crèchemate. Meeting his gaze dead on, she showed him how serious she was. In a tone that offered no room for argument, she said, "Come." Stepping away from the others, Adi regarded the Knight. Quietly, she spoke so that only he could hear, "You are not the only one to ever have been put in one, Qui. Believe me, I do not like this any more than you do. But he is _not_ a Jedi and he is under their rules and regulations. To buck their system would mean we do not respect their laws. The laws of the Republic, which we serve. We are Ambassadors of Peace. And if it were ever perceived that the Jedi were above the law, then we would be facing a turmoil far greater than a single Force Collar."

Visibly, he acquiesced but his eyes still conveyed his adamant refusal to accept this decision. "So we are simply going to allow them to strip him of the last comfort he has? Is that what you are telling me?"

"I am saying that he is strong, he will survive the collar. And it should only be on until we reach Coruscant. There we can have it removed."

"I am glad to see that you can live with his misery, but do not presume that I can. I want that abomination off the instant it will not compromise the Order's neutrality." Pushing past her, he knelt down in front of the rogue. In the few minutes the collar had been in place, the boy's appearance had changed dramatically. His eyes could not settle on a colour, mixing the blues, greens and greys. In addition, they appeared glazed and unfocused, even when Qui-Gon's face came into view. His face looked pale and drawn, making the bruise on his cheek stand out all the more. Obi-Wan looked much younger than his years almost transforming him back into the wayward initiate he remembered. Qui-Gon's heart clenched at the sight. Gently, he addressed the young man, "Obi-Wan? Obi-Wan, I am here for you."

There was no answer, no acknowledgement, no comprehension in his face. In a desperate attempt to stave off some of the effects, Obi-Wan retreated further into himself. Surreptitiously, his mind took in the conflict. But it didn't really matter, he was willingly slipping into the darkness finding comfort in not feeling. Rough hands came to pull the youth up to his feet. In an instant he was torn from his void when his body screamed in agony. He hadn't realized how much he had been relying on the Force to tend and strengthen his injuries. Now with it gone, his punished figure made itself vividly known. Releasing a pained whimper at the harsh movement, Obi-Wan just wished he could lie there for the rest of his life. But it was not to be.

As soon as the sound escaped the rogue, a number of people rushed over to him. Ja Kohnwei pushed past them to quickly examine the youth. Turning back, he glared at Lanthr, "This boy needs medical attention."

"We do not have a medic on duty at the time. And you will be leaving shortly. To have one attend a criminal in such a short amount of time would be useless."

"I don't care what you think, Official. I'm telling you he needs attention." Ja could hear in the background, the Knight trying to sooth the boy with words. "Very well, if you do not think it is worth your people's time, then I will do it myself. Afterall, I am already aware of most of his injuries." Turning back to the prisoner, he consoled, "It'll be alright kid. I'm gonna help you with your pain."

~~~

__

Curled up into a tight ball, he shivered from fever and pain. All he knew was that he needed help. His mind was befuddled, there had been a raid on the ship, but he couldn't remember much else. Suddenly a shadowy figure came up, towering above. The large being slowly crouched down next to him. He couldn't make out any distinguishable features, almost as if the being was shrouded in darkness. He was soon going to learn that that was not far from the truth. Leaning on one hand, he managed to lift himself off the ground. Scarcely above a whisper, he begged, "p-please, help. hurts." 

A feral grin cut through the dark, faint light illuminating the ivory fangs. It was the only thing he could see in the shroud of evil that encompassed him. The black feline-like creature chuckled. "I'll help you with your pain boy," the tone full of mockery. Evil poured off the figure, causing the young boy to press himself back into the wall behind him. In an instant he was assaulted, beaten into an agonizing blackness that represented the beginning of what was to come.

~~~

The place was different, in fact virtually everything was different. It was bright, crowded and not as oppressing as the memory had recalled. He could see the faces in his vision, even if slightly blurred, none bearing the ivory grin of malicious intent. But without his ability to harness the ever-present power of the Force, to keep the nightmares at bay, his mind journeyed quickly to places he dared not tread for years. He realized all too quickly that even though the tone was friendly, the words that were spoken awoke his dormant nightmares. A sob escaped him, and he choked out a pleading, "no." Confused the others watched as a single tear coursed down his cheek.

Qui-Gon and Ja, who were the closest, exchanged worried glances. Cautiously, the Knight looked back at the youth. There was already so much pain he could scarcely bare seeing any more. Thankfully, Obi-Wan had closed his eyes, sealing off the portal that invited others to share his feelings. For a moment, the Jedi had brought up a hand to wipe away the line of moisture but stopped. At first he didn't understand his hesitation, but as he continued to look at the young face, he begun to comprehend. He was afraid. Afraid to face the raw pain and fear that he could sense welling in the boy. To tap into those currents would drain him and he felt to do so would only compromise their situation further. His bias already obvious, to reveal that the young pirate meant more to them than a simple capture could garner unwanted attention. Slowly, his hand disappeared into his sleeves. He would have to bide his time until they were in less conspicuous surroundings. He watched silently, as the guards hauled the youth away.

So stunned at the abrupt change, no one else was able to comfort the rogue before he was taken away. Resigned to the situation, the troupe followed. Qui-Gon walked directly behind the convicted, while the others lingered a few steps behind. Ja moved a little closer to the female Jedi. Whispering to her, he asked, "Will Obi-Wan be alright with that collar on?"

"Only time will tell." Adi didn't bother to look at the Healer, her gaze intently observing the prisoner.

Kohnwei's eyes joining hers, he continued, "I've never seen anything like it before. I've heard about it of course, but to actually witness it." He shivered at the drastic transformation the rogue went through. A defiantly vibrant young man had been reduced to a withering shell with vacant eyes and broken spirit. 

"Depending on the individual, the reactions vary. Although, his was one of the worst I have ever seen." Silently, she continued her thought, _And it will be discussed at length once I get back with the Council. I believe a certain little Master will have a lot of explaining to do._

Lessik came over now. His emotions evident on his face, he said, "I didn't mean for all this to happen."

"I know, Captain. This was beyond your control. You cannot always predict how events will unfold. As Jedi we understand this concept intimately." Glancing at the elderly man, Adi suggested, "Perhaps it is time we get back to the others. We have to see where we currently stand. Mister Kohnwei please assist Obi-Wan and Master Jinn as best as possible. We will contact you shortly when we are ready to leave."

Nodding, Kohnwei hurried to catch up with the Knight. The others broke off to find their comrades. It did not take the group long to reach the Security Offices. Swiftly, they were led to the confinement cells where the guards holding Obi-Wan deposited him in the middle of a tiny room. The sudden drop elicited another grunt of pain from the youth as he landed on his wounded side. Kohnwei immediately moved to follow them in, but was held back as the guards exited. Helplessly, Kohnwei watched as they activated the energy wall that separated them. "What are you doing? I need to get in there."

Indifferently, the senior of the two stated, "We need to clear it with the Official first."

"Begging pardon but were you not listening before? This discussion already took place. You guys can't spare one of your own so I said I would do it." The sarcasm and anger laced his tone.

"Maybe we didn't make ourselves clear. You can't go in until we get the OK. As I recall after you said that, our Captain never responded one way or another. So you are just going to have to wait."

"You people are ridiculous!" Ja blew up. He was not going to allow this disregard to occur. Glaring at them he said, "Alright, fine. You want to play games so can I. Master Jinn, I will be right back. I have a few words to say to Official Lanthr." With that Ja stormed off to obtain his clearance. 

The two guards took up a seat at a near by table. Qui-Gon silently waited until they were all settled. Cautiously, he moved closer to the laser wall his eyes focused on the huddled form in the middle of the room. Obi-Wan's hands were still bound behind his back and the abomination still stifling him. Even from his vantage point on the other side of the cell, Qui-Gon felt similarly bound. He knew he could no longer interfere with what was happening. He had been directly ordered by the Council member to stand down. And as much as he might want to break all the rules, he knew that as a Jedi he must obey the command, for the moment. 

But for all his obedience, he could not stop his heart from aching. So long ago, he had felt the joys of having a son, not by blood but by soul. And all the wonders that accompanied 'parenthood' were his to explore. But when he was betrayed by the very being he poured himself into, the gaping wound left behind bittered him to ever experiencing those wonders again. For a long time, no one bothered him about it, allowing him to deal with the betrayal and pain in his own time. Eventually, Yoda approached him, nudging him toward taking on a new Apprentice. At first he assumed the tiny Master was speaking generally, but he soon learned there was an ulterior motive. 

Often the name of Obi-Wan Kenobi came up in the list of possible candidates. Not necessarily the first name but usually within the first few. Yoda insisted he had vast potential. Not only to become a great Knight but also to help heal old wounds. His caring nature and desire to help would be most beneficial if Qui-Gon was ever going to let go of his past. But still the wounded Knight refused, unwilling to open himself up to someone else. Denied what his heart had been trying to tell him. His soul desperate to know love again. It was only when it was too late that he finally understood. 

Although there was more to it than a simple apprenticeship. Over the course of the past few years, he had seen many potentials but none of them pulled at his soul like Obi-Wan had. During their last meeting together, Qui-Gon could feel his entire being vibrate as if electrified. He knew deep down it was the Force trying to tell him that they were destined to be teacher and student. And still he adamantly refused to listen to its will. When it was too late he mourned the loss. Without realizing the seed of love had been planted, he could not find room to accept any others.

The sweet innocence of youth read clearly in the captivating blue-green depths of Initiate Kenobi. If he recalled correctly, there was much he could see in those eyes. Somewhere being held at bay, there was a playful sparkle that told Qui-Gon the boy was capable of humourous plots. There was compassion and love there as well. But he also saw fear, which he used as his excuse to deny the boy, that was meant to be locked away. Fear of failure. Though he never admitted it to anyone else, it was not Obi-Wan's fear that drove him away, but his own. After the disaster of his previous Padawan, the Knight feared that he would fail the youth. That under his guardianship, Qui-Gon could lead him down a path of darkness. 

Slowly, as his mind drifted back from his reverie, Qui realized what a mistake he made. Even with the possible dangers the Jedi face, he knew that they were more than likely minimal compared to what Obi-Wan had faced. There had been pain, that was certain. Body and soul plagued with agony. The Pirate Captain Tuuvu had spoke of such. And these only confirmed the scars that marred young flesh. A wounded spirit confused and longing, now sprawled across a cold floor forced to relive the torment again.

Unknowingly, he took a step forward almost colliding with the energy wall between them. Halting just millimeters away, he felt his heart skip a beat. He wanted to be there for the boy he abandoned so long ago. Wanted to hold and care for what he let slip through his fingers. Wanted to make up for lost time. But all he could do was watch quietly from the edge. And wait. He could only hope that once back on Coruscant he could find a way to make amends. The courts would prove difficult to bypass, but he hoped his friend would help him through it. He would have to contact him as soon as he landed. Dismissing those concerns for the moment, he focused his attention toward the prisoner. Once again allowing his mind to wonder at what horrors the boy lived through.

He didn't know how long he stood there staring, lost in thought, but he knew some time had passed. Ja Kohnwei came storming back in demanding they let him in the cell. Still a little unsure, they commed their commander and received clearance. Annoyed, they headed for the entry. "I hope you know what you're doing," the main guard muttered.

"I've already said I accept full responsibility for my actions. Now open it up so that I can do my job." Finally, they deactivated the field and admitted the medic. As soon as he passed the threshold, they reactivated it, cutting him off from freedom. Nonplussed, Ja made his way over. When he came up beside the rogue he paused. As a healer, there were many things one witnessed throughout life and career. But as a father, you could never truly let go of all the emotions that you feel when dealing with certain situations. And this was one of them for Ja. His heart squeezed as he gazed down on the curled up figure. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that this was someone's little boy. Older than his own by almost a decade, Kohnwei could still imagine how he would feel if this was his child. Slowly anger swelled in him. Pushing it to the back of his mind, he knelt down beside the boy. Gently, he swept the ginger strands hiding Obi-Wan's face away. Automatically, the rogue flinched at the gesture. "It's alright, son. It's alright," he soothed. "I'm here to help." With that he pulled out some bacta strips he acquired from the Security Force's Infirmary.

He was about to roll the young man onto his back, when he realized the binds were still on. Glancing back at the guards who were watching anxiously just beyond the portal, he asked, "There wouldn't be any chance that you would remove those," pointing at the manacles, "would there?" The harsh glares he received were his only answer. _Well, it was worth a shot,_ he thought. 

Looking around the scant room, he noticed a thin pillow and blanket on the tiny sleepcouch. He automatically went over to it and pulled them free. Returning to the youth, Ja placed the pillow under his head and rolled the blanked up so that it would prop him up slightly on one side. This would allow him to place the boy mostly on his back with the least discomfort or circulation restriction. He then began to unbutton the mint tunic to check his dressing. During the turmoil on the planet, he did not have sufficient time to really treat the blaster wound completely. He did a quick field dressing and that was it.

To his astonishment, the wound had healed significantly from its original infliction but was still far from completion. Under closer examination, he noticed that some of the worse areas seemed to be seeping. Kohnwei quickly rummaged through the small medical kit he had been provided to get items to cleanse the wound again. As he worked he called over his shoulder, "I'm guessing that your Jedi healing techniques are the reason this looks so much better than it did before?"

Dully, Qui-Gon informed, "Initiates are taught from an early age how to utilize the healing powers of the Force. Although with his connection severed as it is now, I cannot guarantee that it will ever heal properly." From his position, he could not see what Kohnwei was doing, still he watched on. 

One thing the Healer could also gather from the response was that Jedi did harbour emotions. The gruffness in the man's tone was echoed by resigned despair. For a brief moment, Ja looked back at the Knight. Sorrow and regret were visible in Qui-Gon's eyes even from this distance. Determination coursed through him, before turning back to the youth, Ja said, "Not while I'm around. The wound's opened again but hopefully these Bacta strips will be able to pick up where the boy left off."

"Undoubtedly, he has been concentrating some of his energy on recuperation since your earlier ministrations. Now…." He stopped unable to fully consider what the youth was going through right now. There was so much pain. Taking a deep breath, he acknowledged, "It will have to be enough for now."

Curious, Ja inquired, "Could you not help him out? I mean, use those Jedi Healing Techniques?"

Sighing, Qui-Gon spoke as if the words were torn from his throat. "No. The collar not only suppresses the bearer's abilities but also others who are attempting to use the Force on them. There are some models that block only one way, but Republic Security keeps Total Suppression Collars on hand. No chances."

With that the conversation died. Kohnwei continued to tend the infliction as best he could. When he finished, he buttoned the tunic back up and stood. Looking down, he thought, _I wish I could make him more comfortable._ Suddenly the answer came to him and he groaned. In the same instant, his hand smacked his forehead. He couldn't believe his own stupidity. Carefully, he knelt down and wrapped his arms around the boy and gentle tried to haul him to his feet. A soft whimper answered his movements and Obi-Wan's eyes shot open. "It'll only be for a second. I just want to move you to a better spot." 

Slowly, he made his way over to the sleepcouch and eased the rogue onto the thin mattress. Once he had him positioned on his good side, Ja hastily went back to retrieve the blanket and pillow. He shook out the blanket with one hand then draped it over the boy. Next he lifted Obi-Wan's head to replace the pillow. As he finished he noticed barely opened eyes watching him.

"Thank you." A shaky soft whisper floated up to his ears. It took him a second to realize that it was the rogue. Since his arrival in the cellblock, Obi-Wan had happily let himself drift off to unconsciousness. Of course some of the dreams that accompanied that he would rather have not had. At one point though he did awaken long enough to realize what was happening before falling back into darkness. But when the Healer moved him, he could no longer remain asleep. The care the man went to was something he wasn't entirely expecting. He knew that Ja didn't have to do any of this but did so any way. He just couldn't let it go unnoticed.

Smiling down at the young man, Ja straightened the blanket. "My pleasure, kid." The smile faded slightly, as he added, "It wasn't meant to be like this. I'm sorry."

Pain and weariness were overpowering his senses, slowly driving away consciousness. And his words began to slur together. "S'ok. I'ma criminal. No need t'apologize."

"And I'm a healer. I don't wish anyone's suffering. Not even yours."

"Thanks. Knew you're one of the good ones." The faintest smile curved his lips.

Returning the gesture, Kohnwei said, "Glad you think so. Now heed my advice and get some rest." Obi-Wan barely nodded then closed his eyes, drifting off into darkness. Kohnwei stood and headed for the doorway. He glared at the guards, "Well, I'm done. Let me out now."

They complied and when he was clear he added, "We told you he wasn't dangerous." But they said nothing in response, simply headed back to their table to relax and chat. Ja turned to the Jedi Knight who stood watching the sleeping youth. Slowly, he walked over to him and whispered, "I'm going to head back to the others now. There's nothing more I can do here. Maybe when we get on board our new transport, but we'll have to see. I'll let them know you're still here and I'll come back when it's time to leave." The Jedi stood silently, Ja wasn't even sure if he heard anything he had said. Sighing, he turned to leave.

"Mister Kohnwei," Qui-Gon's voice still a little rough, "may I ask you a favour?"

"Of course."

"Please ask Master Gallia to wait to speak with the Council until we have resumed our journey, _if_ she has not already done so. I would appreciate the opportunity to be there when Obi-Wan's presence is revealed."

"I will relay the message, Master Jinn." No other words were spoken as the Healer went to meet up with the others. Qui-Gon stood vigil until departure. As he waited, slipped into a light meditation, searching for guidance. Unfortunately, whatever it was he sought danced at the fringe of his abilities, taunting him. He could only hope that the promises he has made, to himself, to Tuuvu, to Obi-Wan(even if he didn't know it yet) he would somehow still manage to fulfil. 

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K-Rock – LOL, you crack me up. Poor me, for trying to keep up with the standards I've set myself. :p Sorry, no. I've caught up with everything I had previously written. Now everything I'm posting I'm writing and finishing in the same week. Which will probably drain me pretty good. But I'm dying to get to the end of this particular section of the story. I have plans for Griven but I don't know how they'll turn out exactly. I may end up changing them a bit but we'll see. ;) Believe me I wish I could post daily like I used to when I first started but time constraints and DWB have seen to the end of that. :( And I'm still looking forward to the next part of RH. :D

Fudge – Wow, Thanks!! :D

YLJedi – OMG, Wow. :8} Thank you so very much. My goal was to give you a movie to read, not just a story. I'm so glad that it's working. :D And I hear you on the pity party thing. I wanted him to move on. Yes, it still hurts and there may be a bit of pity wallowing later. But he'll also have the new life to look back on as well. Hopefully, I continue to maintain your opinion of this fic. :)

Starre – Thanks. Um, sorry. And you'll just have to wait to see what happens to Griven. ;)

Kaat ShadowLover – Yeah, it was the Chapter that even _I_ was waiting for! You'll just have to wait and see what will become of all of them. There are still obstacles ahead that they will have to deal with. Then it will be time to debate the real question. ]:) To be or not to be – a Jedi. :p

Nat – LOL, well, I'm glad you were able to catch up. A lots happened and we're still only at the beginning. I feel sorry for you with only dial-up. I'm spoiled now with cable modem! :D And I completely sympathize about needing your fix. I do too. Thanks. I rather like 19 and 20 myself. And Obi has always been one of my fav chars, so I couldn't make him any less the Noble Jedi than he is. ;)

Lighted eagle – That's ok. Whenever you get a moment. I'm always happy to know you're still out there somewhere. :D


	23. Chapter 22: Revelations

__

Chapter 22: Revelations

"As I cry out loud...  
Got my feet on the ground.  
Your hand's found me.  
Saw my blood on the ground  
And it changed my life  
So many parts that I have to play.  
A tangle with life set me up that way,  
Now I know,  
These are the words that I have to say." - I'm Alive(Seal - Seal)

A number of hours had passed. And it was now time to return home. The Jedi Knight followed behind Ja Kohnwei as they headed back to the Security compound to retrieve the last two passengers. Not even bothering with the front desk, they hurried into the holding block. As they entered, Ja paused. "He hasn't moved at all since I left him." He muttered under his breath and then glanced at his companion. Her exotic eyes conveyed the concern that she felt but her face remained neutral. Ja went up to the guards and told them to call Lanthr. 

The Jedi walked up to her crèchemate. Stealing a glance into the cell her heart skipped a beat. "Qui," she said as she placed a hand on his broad shoulder, "the ship is ready to leave, love." 

Closing his eyes he heaved a small sigh of relief. He hoped this nightmare would be over soon and he would finally have his apprentice. However, the dark whispers kept insisting that the worst was not over yet. In fact, this was only just the beginning. Turning to his beloved companion, he was dying to ask, "Has Adi…..?"

"No," she smiled. "Ja was able to relay your message before she was able to contact the Council. Fortunately, she was already considering having you present." He nodded then refocused his concern back toward the cell. Tahl knew him better than anyone else in the Order and she knew how much the man was suffering. For him to keep this vigil, he was punishing himself far more than anyone else could possibly have done. Oh, she knew that Obi-Wan had suffered far worse of course, and even though she cared for all living creatures, she loved Qui-Gon with all her heart. And to see him like this was heart wrenching.

By forcing himself to stand there and bear witness to the torment Obi-Wan was going through, he was paying, in some small way, for the mistake he made five years prior. Truth can hurt. And this was agony. He could not alleviate the guilt that he was a large reason that Obi-Wan had been cast away. And thus part of the cause that reduced the boy to his criminal existence and tortured past. As he stood watching the young man sleep, he could not help but wonder as to what the boy may have suffered in his absence. The Force sent a wave of something through him that made him shudder at the thought.

Tahl's hand slowly slid down his arm and slipped through to lock arms. Moving in close, she rested her head onto his shoulder as she took up watch next to him, offering silent reassurance. Ja meanwhile had convinced the guards to let him enter once more while they waited. Once the energy door was down, he hurried inside to check the Bacta strips he placed earlier. Obi-Wan had curled up on his side to fend off the nightmares that plagued him. Ja laid a hand on his shoulder to alert the rogue to his presence. "Son, it's time to wake up."

Not bothering to open his eyes, he mumbled, "I'm already awake." His voice was still a bit rough, more from disuse than anything else at the moment. He rested only for a while until the horrors that sleep brought became too much for him to bear. At last, he refused rest. Unfortunately, reality wasn't much better. Obi-Wan had grown accustomed to feeling empty. Void of the soothing presence of the Force. In addition to the fact he no longer could touch the encompassing power, he could feel the Knight's gaze on his back. He just couldn't bring himself to face the man right now. So he had kept the illusion of sleep.

But Qui-Gon was not a Jedi Knight for nothing. Even more so, he was one of the few Jedi who were infused generously with the Living Force. The farce could not fool Qui-Gon's innate abilities and he knew the prisoner lay waiting, doing his best to fend off the flood of memories that bombarded him. It was another aspect of the Knight's punishment that he willingly endured. 

On the other hand, Ja did not concern himself with the reasons of the deception because he knew it was not in his expertise to do so. Instead, he concentrated on what he could handle. "I want to check those strips before we go. I might need to change them."

Obi-Wan opened his eyes to regard the Healer for a moment. He gave a quick nod, then consented by rolling on to his back. Despite the awkward position, Ja gently unbuttoned his shirt. Obi-Wan shifted a little as the healer probed the wound. "Please, just try to relax. I don't want to hurt you needlessly." He smiled to reaffirm his words. Again, the rogue submitted to his care and allowed the man to carry out his task. When Ja removed the first strip, he winced. The blaster burn looked no better. And the bruising along his ribs seemed to have darkened. "You need to get to a clinic. I can't be sure from here if there is any internal bleeding. This blaster wound should heal with a few more applications of Bacta, but you should probably be submerged to take care of the internal injuries. That extra beating you took could not have helped." Ja worked as he talked, doing his best to keep the patient's mind from worrying. This time, however, it didn't help much.

"It wouldn't have been so bad if…" Obi-Wan began but trailed off.

Kohnwei caught on to what the rogue was implying. "Well, hopefully that thing will be off once we get back to Coruscant. Then you can use the Force again to help you heal. It shouldn't be too much longer. We're about 3 hours away via lightspeed. And we'll be leaving in a quarter hour."

"Thanks, but I doubt it will happen."

"I don't know, you're friends back there seem like they could be pretty persuasive. It might come off." Ja was doing his best to give the youth some shred of hope. He had seen the haunted look in the sea-washed eyes and it saddened him greatly. But his light comments did not have the effect he was looking for.

"No," he countered, accepting the reality of it, "that Official was right. I'm a criminal and this is procedure. Who knows when I'll be free of it again."

"Soon, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon called through the forcefield. "I will not permit that abomination to stay on for longer than is necessary." Obi-Wan merely looked over at him for some seconds, but doubt still thrived. All conversation abruptly stopped as Er'k Lanthr walked in.

"So you're leaving then?" He asked.

Tahl released Qui-Gon and confronted the man. "Yes, we have acquired passage on another passenger vessel headed for Coruscant. We would appreciate it if you released Obi-Wan Kenobi to our custody, along with the control unit for his collar. Here is the manifest and information regarding our transport." She handed him a small datapad that she had been holding. He reviewed the contents carefully before returning it to her.

"The transport seems adequate enough. My men will accompany you on board to see that the prisoner is secured. Then I will hand over the control to the _Norelwind's_ Security chief. I wouldn't want any mishaps during transfer."

Ja finished and helped Obi-Wan to his feet, who swayed as he stood. Keeping his hands up to hold the rogue steady, he waited until Obi-Wan nodded that he was ok before letting go. His mind marveled at how aggravating military and security types could be. Looking the youth over once more and the grimace on his face, he wondered if the boy would be able to make it to the ship on his own let alone attempt escape. Annoyance evident on his face, he remarked as he stepped up to the door. "You don't think the Jedi could handle him?"

"I didn't say that. I'm sure they are quite capable." Lanthr looked from the Medic to the Jedi then back again. "However, I feel that it would be best to follow proper procedures at this time. Be glad that none of my men are accompanying you on the journey. If the Jedi _weren't_ here, it would be necessary to have one go along to hand him off to the CSF." 

"We are grateful for your assistance, Official Lanthr. Now, if you please, we would not want to keep the _Norelwind_ waiting." Qui-Gon easily took over, his formality making the room feel suddenly uncomfortable. Determining that this argument was only delaying the moment when the collar would be removed, he decided to press on. Lanthr nodded at his men, who disengaged the energyfield. Ja walked out glaring at the man, while Obi-Wan timidly followed.

A small part of him was in awe. Now that he was on the path of destruction, so many seemed to be against his fate. _What had changed their minds so?_ He wondered. _Why couldn't they just accept it like he had? Why did they have to make this more painful than it already was?_ And it was painful. If he was unworthy of such attention when he was young and innocent and desperately trying to prove himself, what made him better now than he was then? Now that he was a criminal with death on his hands and defying the code there was only one recourse. Imprisonment, possibly death hung over him. And if that wasn't enough, the possibility of being stripped permanently of the Force was even more frightening. 

Resigned to his position, he concentrated more on getting from one place to another than worrying about the future. The Bacta strips had done enough to alleviate most of the pain, but his body was still considerably stiff and sore. Still, he moved gingerly to avoid disturbing his wounded side. His face had become a perfect mask. No feeling could be seen other than acceptance. Even though he could no longer access the Force, he did his best to reinforce the shields within. As he stood between his guards, he stretched out his hands and fingers to promote circulation. 

Soon the entire group was heading back out into the Port. It didn't take them very long to arrive at the platform on which the _Norelwind_ was waiting. Outside the craft, Adi Gallia and two other gentlemen waited for them. One of the Zabrakians stepped forward to greet them. "Welcome to the _Norelwind_, I am Captain Shih'Rashid. Please feel free to contact me should you require anything. This is the head of my security, Tokad Gerum."

Lanthr stepped forward to great his equal, "Tokad Gerum, I am relinquishing custody of this criminal to you. Here are the access keys to his bindings. Be sure that he is turned into my counterpart on Coruscant. I have scheduled to have Official Fama Martorana of the CSF waiting to meet you."

"Thank you Official." Gerum accepted the keys and motioned for them to go inside. 

In a matter of minutes, Obi-Wan had been deposited in a small brig, Lanthr and his people had left, and the ship was going through it's final steps to take off. Ja excused himself to his cabin. The Jedi remained in the brig with Tokad Gerum. Qui-Gon regarded the Security chief, "Tokad, I doubt that it would be possible for you to remove the Force Suppression collar, but I would ask that you remove his binds. He has been shackled as such for the better part of five hours. And I am sure you can imagine the discomfort he is in."

Gerum regarded the youth who stood silently. The rogue looked exhausted but was unsuccessfully trying to cover that up. He wondered why he had been warmed that the young human could be extremely dangerous. Not taking any chances, considering the possibility of letting his guard down and finding out why, he said, "He will be unbound on the stipulation that a Jedi always be present. I have few men and would prefer to let you handle the prisoner."

Qui-Gon nodded his acceptance, "That would be satisfactory as I will remain with him during our journey." 

Before Gerum could carry out the request, Adi interjected, "Qui-Gon, I believe you are forgetting that we have a report to deliver. Hopefully, it will not take up too much of your time, but it must be done." Forlorn, he glanced over at the rogue sympathetically. He didn't want to leave him like this.

"I'll stay with him until you get back." Tahl announced. "You can make the report and Obi-Wan will be released of his binds."

"Thank you," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. A grateful smile crossing his somber features. It was the first she had seen in what seemed like ages and it made her happy to know she caused it. 

"Now, go." She shooed him away after the Councilor. He looked at Obi-Wan once more before leaving. He hated to go but he knew he had to. He was comforted by the fact that Tahl was there with him. As soon as they left, she turned back to Gerum. "Now if you would be so kind," she motioned toward Obi-Wan. 

Gerum stepped behind the youth and fussed with the binders. "Please don't make me regret this."

"You won't," he answered. The instant they fell away, he felt infinitely better. Shaking his arms out, he soon began messaging his wrists. "Thank you."

Placing him in one of the two tiny cells, he turned to Tahl. "I have a few duties I must attend to." Pulling something from his pocket, he spoke lowly, "Here's a direct commlink to me and my men. All you have to do is tap the button three times and it will activate an alarm. We'll be here within minutes."

"You need not worry, Tokad." She reassured. Nodding, he left. Now that they were alone, Obi-Wan and Tahl simply stared at each other for some minutes before the youth finally spoke.

"Thank you, Master Tahl, for staying with me."

"It was no trouble. We should arrive on Coruscant shortly, then we can get that collar off."

"Don't delude yourself, Master. I'm not." His stance shifted. One hand came up to clasp his other arm above the elbow. His gaze dropped down and to the side, hiding the emotions roiling within. The perfect image of dejection.

Sorrow filled her. There was a quality about him that was endearing and she wondered how the Jedi managed to let him slip through their fingers. Gently, she suggested, "You know, it is possible." Her breath caught in her throat as he turned questioning eyes to her, barley visible through the ginger strands.

Staring at her, he thought for a long moment about her words, and not just the ones spoken here. Stepping closer to the invisible wall that separated them, asked, "Do you truly believe it's possible? I mean, what you said back in my room. Do you actually believe there's hope for me?"

She quickly understood his inquiry. "Obi-Wan, no matter the species, no matter the cultures we follow, no matter what the differences may be, we all have one thing in common. We are not perfect. We all make mistakes. And sometimes we pay dearly for the mistakes we or others make. I believe with all my being that as long as you sincerely want it, there is always forgiveness. And with forgiveness new paths can be forged, old wounds healed, burned bridges rebuilt. There is always hope. But it can only come if you want it to. So, in truth, it is really up to you. What is it that you want?"

"I want to _believe_ there's hope. Not just for me, but my family as well. But I'm afraid," he admitted, his gaze dropping to the floor again.

Curious, she prodded, "Afraid of what?"

Swallowing, he looked back up into her green and gold eyes. "Of so many things Master. Of letting everyone down again. Of finding out how worthless I really am. Afraid that no matter how hard I try, it will never be enough. I'm afraid of coming face to face with my past. I know that my death must have been hard for some to bear, and I'm afraid to find out what they think once discovering that I'm still alive. I'm afraid that my crimes will be enough to condemn me before I get the chance to worry about my other fears. But most of all, I'm afraid that I'll never get this collar off and I'll have to fend off my nightmares by myself. That I'll never be free of Drrov." As he spoke, his cultured tones became rougher with emotion. The oppressing melancholy poured from the cell, and fear.

She regarded him thoughtfully wishing that the energyfield between them wasn't there. She believed that physical comfort could sometimes be more effective than words. But without that element, she had to rely on them instead. "I cannot promise you that everything will be ok. And I think you already know that. I can only tell you not to give up yet. Qui-Gon can be a very stubborn man," she smiled briefly despite herself, "and he's determined to see that you at least get a chance. But if it's any consolation, I have already forgiven you and I look forward to the times where we can forge new paths together."

"You are too generous, Master." Unable to meet her gaze, he hugged himself tightly. "You have no idea what I've done. The crimes that I have committed."

"I may not know them all, Obi-Wan, but that doesn't have to stop me. Remember what I said, mortal perfection is nonexistent but for those who want it, forgiveness can always be found."

"Thank you." But the voice within him mocked, _That will change once they all know what you've done. Then your friends will hate you just as much as you hate yourself._ Vainly closing his eyes to banish the voice, he turned away from the Jedi. Once he felt that he was in control once more, he eased himself onto the thin cot along the back wall. They waited in silence for Qui-Gon to return. 

*

As they hurried through the halls, Adi spoke, "Captain Shih'Rashid has granted us the use of his meeting room. We will be able to speak privately with the Council there."

Qui-Gon walked beside the councilor, his diplomatic instincts still in command, "Thank you, Master for allowing me to accompany you."

"I am not completely naïve, Qui. I do understand what this means to you as well as the others. And I know that this news would be best heard coming from you than me." They arrived at the conference room and went inside. Adi stopped and looked pointedly at the man, "You are not the only one who will be effected by this. Most of us on the Council recognized the change in Master Yoda after we heard the news." With that she turned on the comm unit and contacted the Temple.

In a matter of minutes holoimages of Masters Mace Windu and Yoda appeared. Bowing slightly, Adi addressed them, "Greetings, Masters."

"Glad we are to hear from you, Adi. Beginning to worry we were when report from Kashyyyk you did not."

"Understandably so, Master Yoda. And if circumstances were different it is possible you would not be hearing from us now." She watched as the two images exchanged concerned glances. 

"What's happened?" Mace drove straight to the point. 

"Our ship was attacked by Togorian Pirates, as we feared. Although that is not the reason I say you may not have heard from us at all." Before they could ask, she continued, "There was a device found on the _Zenah_ after we crashed, a device with deadly purposes. Masters, Our ship was never meant to make it to Kashyyyk."

A sudden murmur buzzed through the line. Mace's voice cut through and silenced the others, "Sabotage? And what happened to prevent it from doing its task?"

"The Pirate attack," she stated simply. "One of their blaster hits must have damaged the circuitry of the device. However, it was still able to cause an explosion which disabled the ship and forced us down. We will need to investigate the wreckage and the device thoroughly if we are ever going to find out who planted it. Engineer Nev Obser of the _Zenah_ initially discovered the device and requests to be part of the investigation. I suggest we also have one of our Engineers work with them. Currently, we are heading back to Coruscant right now."

Mulling over this information brought many questions. Each would have to be answered in time. However, they needed to verify a concern that had yet to be addressed. "The children are unharmed, I presume?"

Confirming his assumption with a nod, she said, "Only minor bumps and scratches. Most of which have already been healed."

"Something else there is, I sense." Yoda inquired. Qui-Gon's image did not go unnoticed by the diminutive Master. He gathered something about all this had impassioned the Knight enough to be included in the report. 

"Yes, Masters." Adi looked back at Qui-Gon who immediately stepped forward.

"Something to add have you, Qui-Gon?"

"Yes, Master Yoda," he said, bowing slightly as way of greeting. "We have made an important discovery. As you know there had been a rumor of a human among the Togorian Pirates and we can now verify its validity."

"You know the human that has been aiding them?"

"Yes, Mace. To be honest, we all know him." 

Once again the hushed murmur erupted but quieted them with a hand. "And who is it? One of ours?"

"Once, almost five years ago he walked our halls. Unchosen, he was sent to use his talents in the Agricorp but never arrived at his destination. He was reported dead and was mourned by many. But I am here to inform you that Obi-Wan Kenobi is alive." The shock was even palpable through the transmission. Qui-Gon waited patiently for the news to settle in before continuing, "And at this time, I would also like to formally request that Obi-Wan be brought before the Council to determine eligibility to be reinstated." If they weren't shocked before, they were floored now.

Steepling his hands in front of him, Mace remained stoic, "Qui-Gon, I understand that you have been waiting for this opportunity, no matter how unlikely it was, but this is unbelievable. Can you be so sure that this really is Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

"There is no question. He has admitted it. And both Padawan Bant Eerin and I have confirmed it. Evidence of his training and certain personal affects have been revealed."

Adi Gallia rejoined the conversation with her information, "We have also confiscated a training saber that was under his coat when we initially apprehended him."

Leaning forward in his seat, Mace looked at the man, "Qui-Gon, I don't know how to put this lightly, but do not assume we are going to welcome him back with open arms. If what you say is true, he will have to be judged, but it could be for reasons that would not please you. Was his position within the Pirate group that of a prisoner? Forced into working with them or was he simply assisting them in their crimes? These questions amongst others will have to be reviewed carefully before the question of whether or not he will be reinstated can even be considered."

"Masters," Adi interjected, "Obi-Wan was found assisting with the raid, apparently willingly. In addition, he is being held and will be turned over to the Coruscant Security Force to be tried for the alleged murder of Kiiv Griven during the raid on the vessel _Koska_. Undoubtedly, other charges will also be brought against him."

Glaring harshly at the Knight, the dark councilor demanded, "Is this true?"

"Yes, Masters. Obi-Wan has admitted to the crime stating it was an accident. But you must also understand that if it was not for him, we would not be here talking to you. After the explosion, he flew us down and crash-landed the ship without any fatalities. He also used his influence on the Pirates to transport us to Onderon where we could get further transport back to Coruscant. He has willingly surrendered himself for prosecution. Do not assume that he has turned to the dark. We must grant him the opportunity to fulfil his destiny."

"Master Jinn," a stern voice interrupted from a Councilor not holoimaged, "Do you think that your judgement in this matter is superior to the Council's?" But Qui-Gon recognized the voice of Even Piell.

"How can you be certain his path still lies among the Jedi?" Ki-Adi-Mundi also inquired from the edges of the transmission. "Perhaps his destiny is on the course it was meant to be."

"You believe that Obi-Wan was meant to suffer these injustices?" Qui-gon's tone reflected his displeasure at such a thought. "That the agony and torment he has endured should be overlooked?"

"Master Jinn, you should know better than to allow your anger to overpower you. And what makes you believe the boy has suffered at all?" Master Piell would not permit Qui-Gon's indiscretion to go unnoticed.

Adi felt compelled to add, "There is evidence of maltreatment."

Her indifferent tone almost sent the Knight into a frenzy, "Maltreatment? By all indications it was nothing less than torture. Apparently, it was so traumatic that none of them will even talk about it in detail. I was only able to get vague impressions of the horrors the boy was put through. And even those were enough to make my stomach churn."

"Perhaps it is possible that Obi-Wan was coerced into assisting these Pirates." Quermian Master Yarael Poof joined the discussion.

"It has been documented that after being subjected to pain that a person becomes more susceptible to outside influence." Ki-Adi-Mundi pointed out.

Poof continued, "In the earlier reports made regarding the Pirates there were many cases of despicable violence. If the boy was taken prisoner and tortured, eventually he may have been forced into aiding them. Consideration should be permitted under extenuating circumstances."

Noting the sway in conversation, Qui-Gon added, "Obi-Wan was taken prisoner and tortured for some time. But was finally freed when the original Pirate Captain was killed. He has since been attempting to alter their methods to reduce violence. He has also confided that his ultimate goal was to stop the raids altogether."

"The decline in forcible tactics and deaths have also been recorded, particularly over the past five years. Obi-Wan may have utilized his training to effect these changes." 

Even Piell challenged, "But we cannot overlook the fact that he has been using his abilities to commit crimes. We cannot dismiss the chance he may have fallen under darker influences."

"Under the circumstances, his anger is viable." Qui-Gon said. Standing his ground on this point, he stated, "However, I can sense no evil in him."

"Clouds the mind the darkside does." Master Yoda spoke for the first time since this subject had been introduced. He had been lost in thought most of the debate. Stretching out with his senses, he closed his eyes. After another moment, he added, "Hard to determine if turned he has. Too many emotions overwhelming his mind." 

Qui-Gon was stunned into silence. He never anticipated that Yoda would even entertain such a thought as Obi-Wan turning. Coming out of his stupor he could not stop himself from asking, "Master Yoda, you for one, I thought would understand my request. You have always spoken of the boy's potential and purity. How can you ever believe he has turned? You believed so strongly that he would be a great Jedi Knight."

"That was prior to his joining a band of Pirates." The one-eyed Lannik kept up his pretense.

"Turned I said not." Yoda immediately countered. "Precarious the situation is. Veiled Obi-Wan's future has become. Suggest I do to wait until before the Council he can be brought."

Qui-Gon took an imposing step forward, demanding, "Obi-Wan Kenobi must be a Jedi."

"Master Jinn," Mace's formality cut him deeply, as well as the harshness of his tone, "you are overstepping your bounds. This discussion will be suspended until we have had the chance to review all the information. And until the Republic trial has concluded. When that has happened we will debate this subject again. What I need from you, all of you is as much detail as you can provide. We will have a team waiting for you when you land on Coruscant."

Adi's hand shot up to silence the protest that was about to be voiced. "We shall be arriving in approximately 2 and one half hours."

Nodding, Mace said, "May the Force be with you." The transmission ended. 

"Qui-Gon there will be a time to speak your concerns, but not now." With that she turned and left. Anger surging through him, he quickly tried to release it to the Force. It would not be good to go back to Obi-Wan infuriated. Once he felt enough had escaped him, he headed back to the brig to await their arrival.

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Reviews!!!!!! I love reviews!!!!!!! They are the best thing I have ever received. So if you had even the slightest reaction to this, please let me know! :D

K-Rock – I hope you were able to catch it now that I'm late. :8} Honestly, I didn't think I would get a chap up even now. If you asked me thurs of last week I would have laughed myself silly. Because I hadn't written a word. But then my muse struck and here's a post. :D And thanks for putting me back together. I don't know if I would have been able to type if you didn't reattach my fingers. ;) I'll do my best to stay together from here on out. Well, I'm still waiting for that RH chap. I'm dying here. :p Oh yeah, I guess both of us need patience meditations. ;P

Nat – Thank you very much. I like having multi-layered characters. Although, it can be exhausting sometimes keeping them up. But I won't go back on what I already have. Each character in my stories usually ends up getting a whole history when I think up their name. And all these factors contribute to their personality. It would kind of defeat the purpose of putting so much into each char and not get the most out of them. My only bum is that when I want to get a story rolling, I can't seem to hurry along because I'm developing my chars. *sigh* OH well. Thanks again!! I really appreciate it. :D

Leyna – Thanks!! :D And thanks for the fav author too. ;) 

Fudge – Thanks. And you guessed it. I'll be getting into that in a few more chaps. Possibly next chap even. We'll see what the muse has to say about that though. ;) 

YLJedi – Thanks. And I'm glad you liked the flashback. I really wanted the words to trigger it. Sometimes, choosing the right word can make an entire situation different. And sometimes words can supersede actions. Whereas other times, actions can speak louder than words. It's matter of picking the moment when one overpowers the other. ;)

Phoenix Flight – Thanks. I'm glad you do. :D

Death Rider – Hey, you. :D Come on, this Force collar is nothing compared to Arbor's Collar in Catch me. Now that's something I would want. Not just to increase the pain but the pleasure as well. ]:) Um, I think that might have been TMI. :8} I think I'll just shut up now. ;)


	24. Chapter 23: Cries of the Past

Chapter 23: Cries of the Past

__

"For ignoring you my highest voices.

For smiling when my strife was all too obvious.

For being so disassociated from my body.

For not letting go when that would have been the kindest thing.

To whom do I owe the biggest apology?

No one has been crueler than I've been to me." – Sorry to Myself (Alanis Morrisette – Feast on Scraps)

His legs were drawn up, arms resting across the tops of his knees. His forehead leaned upon his arms enclosing himself off from the world around him. Only slightly relieved that Tahl's gaze did not burrow into him as much as Qui-Gon's, he wasn't sure if he would prefer solitude or another's presence. As he sat, he heard the door to the small detainment area open to admit the large Jedi. For a few minutes the two lingered and he assumed that they must have been communicating via a bond of some sort. When their conversation ended, the door opened once more as Tahl headed back to the others. He wondered how Bant was doing. He hadn't seen her since taking Qui-Gon back to Liior's room, but then it was only for a moment. He wondered what exactly his two friends had discussed while he was off saying his good-byes. Now was not the time to wonder though.

Qui-Gon had been watching the youth again. Now that Obi-Wan had walked back in to their lives he had a hard time taking his eyes off the young man. So much had changed yet there were certain qualities he remembered that were still there. Now that they were absolutely alone, he hoped that they would be able to speak freely. Of course he suspected it would be difficult to achieve such openness but he had to try. He needed to prove to himself that Obi-Wan could still be a Jedi. Then he would be able to convince the Council of that as well. Clearing his throat he began, "I have just informed the Council that you are alive."

Obi-Wan sat there quietly absorbing the statement. Eventually, he lifted his head enough so that he could be heard, "And?"

"And nothing." The response was so flat and devoid of emotion that Obi knew it did not go as well as the Knight expected.

"So they weren't as happy to hear that I'm around as much as you were, huh?" Obi-Wan looked up at the ceiling now, allowing his head to fall back against the wall.

"They are not sure what to think. The news is shocking. It is not very often that one of our own, who was considered dead for years, suddenly surfaces again." True, this happened on occasion but never, to his knowledge, had it been with an initiate. 

Not really looking at anything, he huffed out a short laugh. "So I'm the lucky one?"

"So the Force has willed."

This comment however struck a nerve with the rogue. For the better part of his young life, he had always been told that the Force guided them. It had plans. But he never recalled them mentioning that those plans could be filled with torment. He glared at the Knight through silky ginger bangs. An edge to his tone, he asked, "The Force has willed for my life to be riddled with pain and disappointment?"

Standing his ground, Qui-Gon squared his shoulders. "The Force has willed for us to be together. You were meant to be a Jedi. Would you deny the will of the Force?"

Turning to regard the man now, he answered, "Master Jinn it has been five years since the last time we spoke. And since that time, my life has been turned upside down. I've done things that I'm not proud of but they are things that the Jedi wouldn't approve. I have done nothing to deny it, it sought fit to deny me my dreams. Why should I heed its will now?"

"Your dream can still come true. It is possible for you to come back."

"Now you're the one who's dreaming. Have you forgotten all this?" He jumped up, then gestured first to his collar and then to the room - cell - around him. "Do you not remember why I am here?"

"I have not forgotten," the composed Jedi replied. "The incident on the _Koska_ has yet to be debated. Until all the evidence has been produced to confirm your guilt or not, you are still innocent."

Obi-Wan turned away disgusted. He ran a hand through the loose strands hanging down in front of his eyes. "Innocent is one thing I am not, Master Jinn. Not since I set foot on the _Monument_. And that's not the only crime I've committed. You would probably be better off letting the Republic deal with me rather than face the disappointment of my rejection."

"I cannot do that. You are entitled to a chance…."

"And what chance do I have? My conviction is almost a guarantee. There is enough there to ensure my imprisonment. And how many Jedi do you know have a criminal record?" Obi-Wan began pacing his cage, frustrated with the calm demeanor of the Knight.

"Jedi are often incarcerated for crimes. Of course most of the crimes they allegedly were convicted for were fabricated in some sense. I myself have been imprisoned on a number of occasions."

The rogue glanced over at the man. "Have you ever actually committed the crimes that you were convicted for?"

"Some."

"Any of them murder?" Qui-Gon shifted slightly but said nothing. Most of the crimes he faced were defying the boundaries and regulations that had been set. Or an infringement upon cultural traditions. But nothing as severe as murder. When the Knight didn't respond, Obi knew what the answer was. Nodding, his acceptance, he sank back down to the cot. Hands came up to grasp his head. His thoughts careening back into the recent past. A moment when a ship was raided. 

Most of the prisoners had been rounded up into one of the larger common rooms. Only a few stragglers remained to be collected, but they offered resistance. Tuuvu's attention had been distracted as he gathered their bounty. That's when it happened. Out of the corner of his eye Obi saw movement, automatically he reeled around and assessed the danger instantaneously. A blaster was raised, aimed for the Togorian leader. His mind considered only one factor, Tuuvu's life. Instinct took over and before the crewman's blaster could be fired, another blaster bolt hit him in the chest as he ran at them. Time slowed as the man fell to his knees and dropped his weapon. Obi-Wan watched, horrified, as the life drained from the man's eyes then crumpled to the floor. The shock to his system of what he had done was so powerful, he couldn't recall the rest of the raid. All he could remember was the pain and disbelief in the pale blue gaze.

Those eyes accused him, and he knew he was guilty. His voice low and gruff, he muttered, "I wish it never happened. I never meant for it to happen. But he would have killed Tuuvu and I couldn't bare the thought of his death. He'd risked so much to help me, taken me in when no one else cared. To loose him just would have been way to much for me." The regret and grief of his actions were apparent in his tone.

Qui-Gon easily picked up on it as well as the brief description of those events. His heart skipped a beat and the hands that were hidden within the folds of his robe gripped tighter. "Then you did it to protect your Captain?"

"What difference does it make why I did it? A man is still dead. Killed by my hand." His mind wanted to wander down more paths, paths that lead into the depths of darkness in his soul. But he refused them with all the strength he had in him. The spot above the bridge of his nose began to throb and soon spread to his temples. He tried to message the pain away, but knew it was futile. 

Qui-Gon had been consumed by his own thoughtful musings. New information gave way to new possibilities. Jedi understood the value of life, it was their primary objective. But on occasion the loss of life was unavoidable, such as many of the battles and wars that they took part in. As such, there really wasn't a Knight or Master alive that had not been party to a loss. What Jedi did fear was when the death was premeditated or done in anger. Anger is what led them to the darkside. It was one of Qui-Gon's fears that Obi may have killed in anger. But what the youth unwittingly revealed countermanded those fears. As a result, without imploring the use of darker powers, his hopes for Obi-Wan being reinstated to the Jedi was amplified. Venturing to further those ideas, he asked, "But you never intentionally set out to murder the man, correct? You were merely protecting your Patron."

Not even considering the reasoning behind these questions, Obi-Wan answered truthfully. "It was instinct, and the least I could do for Tuuvu. I don't believe I will ever be able to repay the debt due him." 

__

The debt, the Knight thought,_ is not yours alone. But mine as well._ Tuuvu did what Qui-Gon could not and he would be forever grateful to the Togorian for it. "He was a wiser man than I. And you both were fortunate to find each other." Qui-Gon recalled his conversation with the Pirate Captain and some of the horrors he was enlightened to. Remembering the contempt the man had whenever he spoke of his former leader, Qui-Gon uttered, "From what he was able to tell me, Drrov was a commander even he disliked."

"Tuuvu was forced into piracy. He had just come of age and was seeking apprenticeship when Drrov found him. Drrov would take people right off the street and force them to work for him. Most of his crew were 'recruits' although there were a few that volunteered for the job. Tuuvu kicked Drrov's followers out when he died and replaced them with others. But by this time, he knew nothing else, no trades no other skills than to kill and plunder. So, he kept with what he knew best."

"Yet you still tried to stop them."

"There are other ways to earn credits. I just couldn't figure out how to convince them all to change. The only thing I was able to accomplish was less violence. We haven't had a fatality on either side for over a year when the _Koska_ happened. And I still believe that that was avoidable too. I should have been able to judge better or perhaps I should never have fired but shielded Tuuvu." The implication was easy for the Knight to pick up. He wondered if Obi-Wan had managed to shield Tuuvu with his body how the man would have reacted to his possible death. Seeing what the Captain risked recently, he feared that a single man would not have been the only one to loose their life if his cub had been killed. 

Suddenly, Qui-Gon recalled something mentioned in his discussion with the Council. "Adi mentioned that you had a training saber, why did you not use it?"

"For a number of reasons. One, my hands were full." He added by way of clarification, "Blasters. But the main reason I don't use it during raids, unless there was absolutely no other way, was because of what it would mean to everyone. A Jedi aiding pirates would tarnish the name of all the Jedi. And even if people didn't assume that, stories would have gotten back to you and they might have sent someone to investigate." Obi sighed, that way of thinking had only delayed the inevitable. "And I didn't want to be found," he admitted.

Qui-Gon's thoughts wondered again as he observed the youth. So many questions begged to be answered. One managed to fight its way to the surface and be recognized. "Tuuvu mentioned that you once almost came back to the Jedi on your own. What stopped you from going back?"

Obi-Wan's head shot up at the comment. He didn't realize that the two talked long enough to reveal that moment. And it seemed like a moment as compared to the rest of his life. A cool gentle breeze in the midst of summer that came and went before you could appreciate it. He considered his answer for a long, long time. "Someone reminded me why I was with them in the first place."

"Your Patron?"

"No." And he left it at that. But the memories stirred once again, forcing him to relive the past. 

~~~~~

__

The ship had landed in a port a few sectors from the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan's heart had leapt when he saw the familiar spires in the distance. His mind and body were split in two. On one hand he was excited, he always loved the serenity of the Temple. And he so desperately wanted to see his friends again. But on the other hand, he was afraid of what they may think of him once they found out what had happened to him. It was just entering the sleep cycle in this portion of the city planet and he had decided to wait until morning to go back. Most of his things were packed and ready to go, just waiting for the moment he was welcomed home. As he lay in his bed, he heard a soft rapping on his door. A moment later it opened to admit his Captain. "Cub?"

"I'm awake Tuuvu," he answered while sitting up.

Tuuvu carefully entered and sat down beside him. "Are you sure you want to go back? You know you always will have a home with me. And I swear I will keep you safe from now on."

"I know you will, but I was raised to be a Jedi. It's supposed to be my job to protect you. But Thanks for taking care of me and helping me out. I really appreciate it." Leaning over they hugged as the minutes ticked by. 

Tuuvu finally pulled away, "Well, you best get some sleep, cub. Tomorrow will be a hectic day."

"Good night."

"Night." The Togorian left the room, leaving the youth to his thoughts. 

Obi-Wan was about to settle back into bed when he heard another knock. Curious, he called, "Come in."

The door opened to reveal someone he would never have guessed to see in his doorway. "May I….."

"Of course." Obi said. Automatically, he stood while the newcomer entered. "I must admit, I didn't expect you."

The sable Togorian didn't step far into the room, just enough to allow the door to close behind him. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't think it was necessary."

"What is it?"

"You and I have never really gotten along. I'm sure you've always wondered why."

"Yes, actually. But I figured you had your reasons."

"I do. Can you sense_ me, Obi-Wan? In your Force?"_

"Yes, I can sense you the best out of the crew." Obi-Wan had discovered rather quickly that virtually the entire crew had some degree of Force Sensibility. It was a conundrum, but one he chose to live with for the time being.

Kuuur was not looking at him, rather a holo that sat on Obi's desk. It was an instant captured when he and his friends were together. When the firstmate finally began talking, his voice sounded distant, as if speaking of a dream or a memory. "I had a brother once. His name was Reemb and he was a few years older than me. Jedi had arrived on Togoria due to an unscheduled stop on their journey. My parents were in the city at the time with my brother. They recognized his potential and requested that he be brought to the Temple. He was only three at the time and my mother was carrying me. They apparently said they could sense my potential as well. My parents decided that they could take my brother but would not permit me to go after my birth. So Reemb went. They wooed him with tales of glory and honour. All the things a Knight was meant to be. Little did he know."

Curious, Obi-Wan asked, "And what happened then?"

"He trained and learned what it was to be Jedi. We kept in contact for most of his early training. I idolized him. And whenever he visited he would teach me little tricks and things and I cherished the time we spent together. There were many times that I had even argued with my parents to let me go too, but they refused. But as he got older, the visits became few and far between until they finally stopped altogether." He stopped and sighed but he still had not really looked at Obi-Wan. 

"So you've had a brother in the Order all this time? Maybe you could visit him while we're here." His innocent suggestion hurt more than Kuuur cared to admit.

He discounted the idea quickly, "That's impossible."

"But why? They could at least tell you where he is."

"They already have. We received two messages the same day. One from the Temple. The other from Reemb. We opened the one from the Jedi first. They were informing us that the transport my brother was on had been attacked and destroyed, killing all those on board. My brother was dead."

"I'm so sorry, Kuuur. I didn't know."

"The other was a message meant for me. But we all read it. He was telling me that he had reached his thirteenth birthday and had not been chosen as a Padawan. The Council had decided to send him to assist with the Engineering Corp. He said it was still a noble thing to do, although he had been hoping to become a Knight. I didn't understand why his age mattered or why he hadn't been chosen. Not like it would have made his loss any easier. The world he was going to had been in the midst of war but had called a truce. Apparently, not everyone approved or the truce or the Republic aide that was sent. His ship was attacked and destroyed almost immediately after coming out of their jump."

Obi-Wan was stunned. He would never have guessed that Kuuur had been associated with the Jedi to some degree. But even more unbelievable was the subsequent death of the Togorian initiate. He felt a strange kinship to the fellow youth he never knew, and mourned the loss. "Kuuur, I…." 

"The reason I tell you this is to make sure you know what you are doing." He didn't come here for sympathy but to get his point across. "Once it's determined you are useless to them they turn their backs on you and leave you to the liphons. They don't need you. They don't want_ you. If they did, they wouldn't have sent you away in the first place. If you go back to them, why would they take you back in now? All they're going to do is ship you off again. You won't be in the Temple. You won't be with your friends. And you'll have lost two families. The possibility that you'll be forsaken again is just as high. They made the mistake once with my brother. A second with you. What makes you think it won't happen again? How many times must you suffer for them?"_

On the verge of tears, Obi-Wan just couldn't find his voice to answer. The firstmate had voiced aloud what he kept thinking in the back of his mind. Most of him knew that Kuuur was right. The vicious cycle that had become his life would just repeat. But there was still a glimmer of hope that he could go back. Unable to form words, his mouth opened and shut again.

Kuuur realized the boy was dumbstruck and decided to finish what he had come to say. "I never hated you. I hated what you were_. But more than that, I hated that what had happened to my brother happened again. When I found out about you I began to wonder. Could this have happened to Reemb? Could he have faced a demon like Drrov? I'm not a fool. I saw what you went through. I don't know how you survived. I don't think I would have wanted to live if I was in your place. But you did. It would have been enough to make lesser men retreat from the world. And here you are, willingly going back with the possibility of facing it again. It's not that I want you to stay either, but I would rather you stay here than go back to them. Let them think that you are dead. At least then you would be free to do what you want. Either way, the decision is yours." Now that he was done saying his piece, Kuuur headed for the door. Pausing, he looked over his shoulder at the stunned youth. "Take care, Obi." And without another word, he turned and left the boy alone. _

That next morning he and Tuuvu headed for the Temple. As he stood outside the Temple doors, he felt the Force pour over him. Strong and pure it washed through his soul. But as it cleansed away the pain in his heart, he began to see the dark spots within. He tried to get rid of them, scrub them from his spirit but they didn't even fade. Suddenly he felt dirty. With Kuuur's words echoing in the back of his mind, harsh reality crashed into him. He had been tainted beyond repudiation and would not be accepted back in. "I can't," he whispered. Tuuvu placed a hand on his shoulder. Obi-Wan turned to look up at the Togorian, "I can't go back, can I?"

"I don't know." Tuuvu just didn't know how to answer that. And it hurt him to see the pained look in the sea-washed eyes. 

"Kuuur's right. I'm only fooling myself into believing I can go home. But I don't have a home anymore. They sent me away."

"You have a home with me and Jorri."

Obi-Wan stood staring at the place he had spent his childhood. Faint echoes of laugher played in his mind. Old and happy memories flourished and then slowly fizzled away into darkness. His past was dead. A single tear traced a line down his cheek. It was the first shed to mourn his past but it would not be the last. No, this place was no longer his home, but he had been offered a new one. "Thanks." 

The timid gratitude was still blanketed with a pain Tuuvu could never understand. Knowing this, he made one last attempt to make sure this is what Obi-Wan wanted, "Cub, if you come back with me, you'll never know if you can_ return to the Jedi. I don't want you to regret your decision, but I will abide by what ever you wish." Patiently, the new Captain waited for his cub's reply._

At long last, Obi-Wan turned to look the man in the face. A face he had come to love and respect. A being full of compassion in a dark world. Who was he - Obi-Wan Kenobi - to deny this large gentle creature the love he nurtured? A smile slowly formed until it spread across his face. He knew then, that the gift of life wasn't the only thing the man had given him. Without even thinking about it, he fell into a tight embrace with the furred being, which was promptly returned. "Let's go home," he muttered in to the fur. Nodding, Tuuvu kept his arm around the boy's shoulders and guided them back to the Scream_, never looking back._

~~~~~

He was fourteen at the time, recently nursed back to life by Tuuvu and Jorri. And as much as he was grateful to them for what they did, he managed to convince them that he had to go home. Sadly, they complied. He should have known then how much they truly did love him. But he was still blinded by his own needs to see. If he could only go back in time, things would have been different.

The dark voice that often taunted him returned laughing maniacally. _And what would you have done? Gone back? Don't make me laugh. You can't go back. You're still deluding yourself._

But they seem like they do _want me back._ Qui-Gon, Bant and even Master Tahl had hinted at the fact he could go home.

Want you back so that they can correct the mistakes they made. You are worthless. They don't want you_. They want to strip you of everything you love. The Force. Your friends. Your family. They need to make sure that you will never again be a threat to the universe. You are nothing._

NO! He sprang to his feet. He had to move, to get away. But he couldn't. The voice was always there. And this time he couldn't banish it. The collar that continually suffocated him saw to that. He hugged himself as he paced the cell frantically. Desperately, he argued with himself, _That's not true. If I were nothing, they wouldn't be fighting so hard to get me back. They would simply let the Republic have me._

It's just a false sense of security. They want your guard down so that you are easier to control. The Republic Justice system will beat you down. Then when you no longer entertain them, they'll hand you over to their lapdogs in the Temple. That's when the real pain and humiliation will begin. Just like Drrov.

A hiccuping sob escaped him. He had no control anymore, no way to fight against his fears. And they began to consume him. To devour all his hope. Then, when he thought it could get no worse, a voice he thought he would never hear again surfaced. And for the first time in almost five years he heard Drrov speak.

__

You are mine, Bauudi. I found you. You are my prize. You are no longer Jedi. You are nothing. Do I have to remind you? Do you need me to show you who your real master is and always will be?

"NO!" he screamed aloud. In the same instant, his fist collided with the durasteel wall. Only a heart beat later, his other hand followed. Qui-Gon started. He had increasingly grown concerned as he watched the distraught youth slip into a dark haze. He tried calling out to the boy but whatever demons he was battling would not even permit the Knight's voice to slice through the nightmare. 

With each hit, the fervor increased, causing the Knight to panic. Nothing he could do from the other side of the energyfield would stop the growing storm. As a last resort, he did what he felt he must. Using the Force, he deactivated field and hurried over to the hysterical youth. Continually calling his name and entreating him to stop, Qui-Gon grabbed the boy's wrists and pinned them down. Pulling him into a tight embrace, Obi-Wan struggled violently against him. 

"No, no, no." He fought against the voices. Slowly, ever so slowly, they released their hold over him. The nightmare that engulfed him withdrew leaving a mixed residue of degradation and pain. A swell of grief crashed over him. Then, just as suddenly as the outburst began, Obi-Wan stopped and collapsed against the Knight, seemingly as if all strength drained from him in an instant. "Why," he begged softly, "why? Why me?" 

Qui-Gon released his grip on the young man's wrist to pull him close, supporting them as they sank to the floor. His heart ripping out of his chest at the sight of the tear streaked face. He wished he could take all the hurt away, save him from the nightmares. But he was damned in to merely being a watcher. He could do nothing with the collar on. He could only offer empty reassurances and his presence. Both of which he felt were entirely and incomprehensibly inadequate. Yet, as it was the only thing he could offer, he did so with ever fiber of his being.

Sobbing, Obi-Wan clung to the Knight. The feel of cloth between his fingers served as a grounder for him. Pulling him free from the desolate landscape of his mind. Long minutes passed as he marginally began to calm down. Bleary eyes finally began to see the world around him and he cautiously looked up into the face of the Jedi. Tortured eyes beseeched the man as he voiced aloud the questions the Jedi had been fearing the most, "Qui-Gon, What was wrong with me? Why didn't anyone want me?"

Qui-Gon sat there dumbfounded, simply holding the rogue. Honestly, he didn't know how to answer the questions. He didn't have an answer. That's when he realized he did. Gently, he muttered his response, "Nothing was wrong with you."

"Force, no," he begged. "It can't be, please tell me that that isn't true. There must have been something wrong with me. Anger. Fear. Lack of abilities. Anything, please." He was desperate, desperate for anything but that.

"But it is. You were a typical boy. Nothing was wrong with you, it was me." He spoke gently, as he confessed his errs.

"It's not true." Obi-Wan denied, his fists tightening their hold on the Jedi's tunics. He leaned his forehead against the man's chest shaking it slowly back and forth. His whispered pleas continued, "It can't be true. It can't. It just can't."

"Why can it not be true? You were just a child. Your fears were normal for your age. It was my fear that stopped me from seeing what I should have known all along but was too blind to accept."

"No, no, no," the litany began anew. 

Baffled Qui-Gon implored, "I do not understand. Why must something have been wrong with you?"

Taking a number of deep breaths, he found the will to explain his reasoning, "When Drrov beat me, when he would torture me, I could never figure out why. I realized later there wasn't a reason why, just that he enjoyed my pain. I accepted that. I also accepted the fact that I must have deserved some sort of punishment for the failure that I was. I _needed_ to believe that. But to tell me that my pain, my suffering was all for nothing, is just too much. Too much." His voice trailed off, leaving silence in its wake, disturbed only by the soft sobs that escaped him. Some heartbeats later, he quietly begged, "Please, please tell me that what I endured was justified. I couldn't bare it if it wasn't."

Master Qui-Gon Jinn was lost for words. This new revelation tore at the shreds of his soul. And for all his miraculous skills, all the man could do was sit there and hold the weeping child in his arms. Subconsciously, he tightened his hold. His heart bled, what he really wanted to do was protect this tormented soul from ever having to face these pains again. He had previously seen the evidence of the physical torture the boy had been put through. And that alone was enough to make anyone sick. But for the first time he comprehended that emotional scars ran deeper, so deep that they appeared invisible behind the mask of pain visibly seen. And he knew that Obi-Wan had suffered agonies that no one should ever have to endure. 

Yet dare he even think how precious the rogue was. For all the torments that he survived, the youth had overcome so much. The strength that resided in the boy had seen him through the darkest of nightmares and brought him back to the surface to function and live. And he knew, even if Obi-Wan didn't yet, that that the young man would persevere through the coming trials and become stronger and better than even he'd imagined.

--------------------------------------------

I would like to thank Shan, my most beautiful and wonderful Beta who was able to tell me exactly what I needed to hear! When I finished with the draft I hated this chap. But with her guidance I was able to turn it around and really fall in love with it. Thank you so much, Shan!!!!! :D 

As always, a review would definitely be nice!!! ;) I like 'em a lot. Anyway, thanks for reading everyone! :D

K-rock – Sweetie, I'm still waiting. *taps foot* ;P Alright, alright. I'll cut you some slack for now. And eventually we'll get to further angst for the poor boy. What would life be like without it? Not worth living I would imagine. *sigh* Obi-Torture is always so satisfying. ]:) I'll be keeping an eye out. Hope to hear from you soon. :D

Delphine Pryde – Thank you very much! :D

Death Rider – Yeah, two in a row!! Want to go for a record and do 3????????? ;) And if we were going by my rough outline I made around Chap 17/18, we would have already been on Coruscant and into the trial by now. Guess how you can see things turned out. But soon. I promise. But what if you were both Force Sensitive and had the collar and got horizontal. That would be pretty sweet, right? Um, wait a second, how old are you?? If you are under the age of 15 please disregard my previous statement. Otherwise, you probably have already discussed that subject. Eitherway, I think I'll just shut up now. Thanks for reading. 

Fudge – You can partially thank my Beta's for getting my best work out of me. But I am really overjoyed to know that my writing is emotionally charged. I am a moon child and emotions are extremely important to me. Which is why I spend so much time exploring them. But give it time. Yoda will have his say eventually. And he couldn't be tooo eager in front of the whole Council or else they would disregard his thoughts on the whole subject when they knew how biased he was. Just wait. You'll see. ;) Thanks! 

Review. Review. Please, review. Please. Alright, I'm going now. Just review please. It would totally make my day. Really. OK. Fine, I'm going. *sheesh* You can't blame a girl can you? Until next Chappy! ;)


	25. Chapter 24: Difficult Destinations

Chapter 24: Difficult Destinations

"What the verkd is going on here?" Qui-Gon heard the surprised question from the doorway. He had sensed their approach vaguely but was much more concerned for the young man who was sleeping restlessly in his arms. Obi-Wan had drifted off in to a troubled slumber after the emotional exertion. In one sense, Qui-Gon was thankful for it. It allowed him time to think and ponder while granting the youth some reprieve. Yet, he was considerably disturbed by what had happened. Desire to find a way to ease the suffering or reassure the fears was great, he just didn't know how to accomplish them.

The arrival of the pair was also both welcomed and unwanted. The Zabrak guard pounded in obviously frustrated that the Jedi had dismantled the energy field for the cell. Nonplussed, Qui-Gon merely answered the man's question, "It was necessary."

Still standing behind the kneeling Knight, Toked Jamil pressed, "Necessary? Why didn't you contact us? The Tokad gave you a transmitter, one of us could have been here within minutes."

Qui-Gon glanced over his shoulder to look at the man. His voice sounding dull and distant in his own ears. "That would have been too long. I needed to resolve the situation immediately." He realized then that he was in a form of automatic pilot. So much had happened in these past few hours that he had become numb in many ways. It was his years' worth of diplomacy and training that permitted him to function despite his inner turmoil.

Irritated that procedures were not followed and matters taken into their own hands, Jamil demanded, "What was the trouble that forced you to bypass our systems?"

Qui-Gon was just starting to feel mild frustration growing at the Zabrak's tone. The two were glaring at each other when a tentative voice cut through their building argument, "He did it again, didn't he?" 

Jamil was now thoroughly confused. "What are you talking about? Did what again?" Glancing between the Jedi, he waited for a response. But neither answered him.

Qui-Gon glanced over at the Calamarian sympathetically, then nodded. She had walked in with Toked Jamil to find the unexpected sight but had quietly made her way over to them. Kneeling down, she carefully placed the tray she had been carrying to the side and looked at the youth. Not really listening to the conversation around her, her gaze had focused on Obi-Wan. 

Bant noticed the young man was asleep, but apparently not a peaceful one. The taut features of his face and the unconscious gripping of the man's tunics belied the chance of any real rest. Absorbed in just having him present again in her life, her gaze watched the mild twitches that crossed his face periodically. The slight motion of his hands drew her eyes downward. His fingers held on tightly to the Jedi's outer layer and were methodically tensing and relaxing but never letting go of the material. That's when she noticed his knuckles. Instantly her mind gathered what had happened and she spoke her suspicions aloud. His simple nod of recognition was enough of an answer for her.

Sitting back on her heels to contemplate the realization, Bant reached out to tenderly brush away the bangs from his sweat-soaked brow. She knew it was something Obi-Wan had always been prone to. On more than one occasion after a fight with Bruck, she had caught him punching something. But he was always able to curb his frustration rather quickly once the initial release was done. It was always her belief that with a caring Master he would have been able to break this habit, _what chance was there for him to overcome it when he was cast aside?_ The incident in the Rec Room on the _Zenah_ confirmed that that tendency hadn't gone away. And now she had seen him resort to this outlet twice. Cautiously, she asked, "What happened?"

The Knight took a deep breath. The _Norelwind_ guard seemed to content himself to wait for an answer and as much as Qui wanted to go into detail with the Padawan he felt it best to remain vague at the moment. They didn't need another stranger to get too involved. Sighing once more, he began, "I am not entirely positive what fully transpired, all I do know is we were talking. Then after the conversation seemed to end, he became suddenly agitated. Before I knew what was happening he was hitting the wall. The intensity of which is what drove me into immediate action rather than wait for ship's security. Besides, I believed it would be best if I handled the situation myself. The subject that initiated this reaction was delicate and could have only been compounded by outside intervention." At first, Qui-Gon spoke directly to Bant but as he finished his gaze moved to Jamil, hoping his indistinct explanation was enough to quell some of the man's frustration.

Jamil had wandered over to the closest wall and examined it while listening to the remorseful explanation. He ran his hand over the smooth surface and could feel a very slight indentation. His hand also wiped at the speck of drying blood there. "It appears your assumption may have been correct. I can't be sure, but he may have even had enough force to dent the wall." Turning back to the huddled group he regarded the Knight, "But you were able to stop him?"

"In a way. I managed to keep him from causing more damage to himself but in the end it was exhaustion that claimed him."

Frowning, Jamil noticed the sleeping young man for the first time. Even from this distance he could tell there was something wrong. His earlier frustration beginning to diffuse, the security guard asked, "And what do you think now? Do you think you could handle him again if he were to become violent?"

"I do not foresee him being a danger to your passengers. As much as Official Lanthr has advocated the youth's potential threat to this ship, he will not harm your people." Glancing down, he muttered, "I wish he cared as much for himself." Bant heard his soft plea and felt the water rim her eyes again.

Toked Jamil walked over and crouched next to them, he wanted to get a better look at their prisoner. The young man's pained expression was disconcerting. A sheen of perspiration was evident on the boy's pale features. Whatever the Onderon Security Official said, Jamil realized this young man was not much of a danger to anyone, except perhaps himself at the moment. To be honest, Jamil thought the young man needed a healer. Glancing up at the concerned Knight, he made his decision. "We'll be arriving on Coruscant in another hour at most. I have a few things I have to do before we land. I was only coming to assist Apprentice Bant for a moment before heading back. I really shouldn't be doing this, but I'm going to leave the field down under the stipulation that you accept full responsibility for him." Qui-Gon nodded. 

Jamil continued, "I'll try and get back here before the Tokad. Otherwise, you're going to have to explain this again and I don't think he'll be as lenient as I am. Hopefully, by that point it will be too late to really worry about it. Just don't make me regret this." Jamil headed for the door and looked back at them once more. "I would suggest getting the boy help after we land. He doesn't look so well."

Qui-Gon stared after him, somewhat surprised at the sudden change of heart that had taken place. Not allowing that fact to go unnoticed, he stopped the man before he could leave. "Thank you for your understanding, it is most appreciated." Jamil nodded and left. 

Now that they were alone, Bant cautiously began, "Master Tahl and I thought you and Obi might be hungry. After she returned, she suggested that I come. She thought it might help. I wasn't so sure. Not that I didn't want to but I was afraid he wouldn't want me here. Now I see that my hesitance was pointless and my arrival was too late. I should have suspected he might try this again. I should have gotten here sooner." These thoughts had been consuming her since her arrival and she was finally able to voice them.

The Master stretched out one hand to rest it on her shoulder as reassurance. "Bant, you have nothing to be sorry for. Your intentions were good and you are here for him now, that is the least you can do. More than I have done."

"That isn't true, Master." Bant quickly denied. "You were able to stop him from hurting himself further."

"I should be the one to stop what I began." A hint of bitterness lined the normally soothing baritone.

"You didn't begin this. Obi has had a history of this…"

"That is not what I am referring to." He cut her off, gently trying to convey his own troubled thoughts. "I refused the Force. I refused him. Was his suffering justified in order to protect my hurt pride? Should he have paid the price for my shortsightedness?"

"Can we even answer those questions, Master? _Should_ we answer them? I have always been taught to believe that we have a purpose. Clear paths were rarely visible but paths did exist to get us there. I have always pictured it as lake or pool. Currents flow beneath the surface that guide our course. But then sometimes there are stones cast into the water that disturb what we originally had. Storms kick up and shift our course. But because everything is always tied to each other, even if we get off course, we can still arrive at the destination. It may take longer or be more perilous but we still have that potential to get there. Obi-Wan's destiny was disturbed by the ripples of a lost stone."

Qui-Gon mulled over her words. Searching for an answer, searching within himself. But also seeking out the Force's will and guidance. Without realizing it, he began questioning, "Was it merely one stone or one of many? And if we were able to retrieve the stone that deviated his path could we reverse the damage that has been done or would we be causing more?"

"There is no answer we will find now, Master. The Force knows what path was intended for us and what paths lead back to our ultimate fate. But for us, we rarely see those possibilities. It is always difficult to see ahead when we have yet to fully understand what has passed. Time is the only judge. In the present we know what has happened, but the future is constantly changing, ebbing and eddying, that we cannot grasp it with any certainty. To ask those questions about if our past actions were justified. Or if what we are doing now will change things for the better or not is beyond the scope of our comprehension. Without that knowledge of the future, the answers you seek will not come for some time."

Smiling sadly at the Padawan, Qui was thankful for her presence. "Young Bant, you have done yourself and your master credit. Your gentle insight has once again found way to sooth my troubled mind. You are correct. We shall not know the answers to these questions until we have found the end of our journey. Now, hope is our ally. Hope that we can somehow correct the damage and place him back on course. Hope that he will face what lies ahead and prevail. And hope that we will be fortunate enough to share that journey with him." Bant smiled back at his kind words, glad that they were able to console each other. But the moment of calm was not to last. Their attention was drawn by a frightened plea.

"no." the childlike voice protested. Hands tightened to the point of shaking, clutching to the Jedi's tunics. "No." He twisted as if trying to avoid something or someone. His movements and breathing were becoming more rapid. Panic climbing, he shouted, "NO!" Suddenly, his eyes sprung open with a pained cry. The instant following his abrupt reentry to reality was followed by confusion. At first he couldn't place where he was, when he was, but as he slowly became aware of his surroundings he began to remember what had happened. When he fully realized where he was and noticed his hands on the cream cloth, he released his grip and scooted himself away from the Jedi. Obi-Wan worked himself into a corner and brought his knees up for further protection as he began to hug himself.

Qui-Gon and Bant silently watched on with growing concern. It was Bant who found her voice first, "Obi, What's wrong? Do you need anything? Hungry? I've brought you something to eat." She hoped the prospect of food would draw him out.

He didn't respond to her offer. The lingering remnants of his nightmares clung to the fringes of his mind. They had plagued him since the moment he entered their realm and was finding it harder and harder to fend them off. Doing so only caused the throbbing in his head to worsen. A chill swept though him and he hugged himself tighter, a soft moan escaped him. His stomach felt like it had been tied up in hundreds of little knots. Closing his eyes to battle the headache along with the rest of his body, he didn't notice the Knight's approach.

Qui-Gon had moved over to the boy trying not to get too close and make the rogue feel trapped. Gently, he asked, "Obi-Wan, how are you feeling?" The odd behaviour and pallid appearance caused his heart to race with worry.

Slowly, Obi-Wan raised his head to look at the man. His cultured voice scarcely above a whisper. "I… I don't know. I can't seem to think straight. Headache. And I'm sore all over."

"You have been through a lot young one. You need rest." Wishing he could offer more relief, Qui-Gon watched on sympathetically.

Obi-Wan nodded. Leaning his head to the side and resting it on the wall, he closed his eyes again. For a while, no one spoke. The two Jedi let the boy relax as they raced through their thoughts. Neither knew what to do next. And the look of growing concern on the Calamarian's face only made the Knight worry more. Obi-Wan seemed to be receding into himself and they didn't know how to stop it. A short time later, ginger lashes fluttered open revealing dulled blue-green depths. "Thirsty," he whispered.

Bant automatically got up and hurried to the tray she brought to retrieve a cup. She quickly filled it with water and brought it back to Qui-Gon, who in turn handed it to the young pirate. Carefully, Obi-Wan raised it to his lips and took the tiniest sip. If felt cool and wonderful as it flowed down his throat. But the instant it hit his stomach, he knew that this had been a bad idea. Hastily, he tried to place the cup on the ground next to him, but his body had begun to tremble. The water spilled out onto the floor as he pushed himself up to his feet. The Jedi were instantly by his side, helping him into the fresher.

Barely making it inside, he emptied the contents of his stomach, not that there was much in there anyway. When he finished, his body felt ten times worse than it had before. His companions had tried to support and comfort him but he vaguely registered their presence. With their aide, he was able to get himself to the sink. It's an automatic desire to wash after one loses their stomach and he was no exception even in the pain he was in. Obi-Wan splashed his face with tepid water and managed to wash his mouth out. Completing this, he stood up and stopped suddenly. For the first time since the _Zenah,_ he saw himself in a reflector. And it was his image that shocked him.

He found it hard to believe that the reflection was his own. His russet bangs draped over paindulled eyes. His skin was ghostly pale making the dark rings under his eyes stand out all the more. Somehow his face looked thinner almost hollow in his mind. As he gazed into the looking glass, his eyes fell upon the metal circle around his neck. A tentative trembling hand came up to touch it. This contraption was part of the cause. Shuddering, he once again wondered if there would ever be moment when it wouldn't be on. He doubted it. Tears came unbidden to his eyes blurring his vision. 

A wave of nausea and dizziness crashed over him and he felt himself falling. Strong gentle hands stopped his descent before he could get very far. Within moments, he felt himself being scooped up then lowered onto the cot. He stared out vacantly relishing the empty stasis he was entering. He could feel blankets being gently wrapped around him but decided to ignore the world around him. 

Qui-Gon had caught the young man as he fell then hastened to get him on the meager cot. Laying him on his side, the Knight instructed without taking his eyes off the youth, "Bant, fetch Healer Kohnwei."

She was halfway out the door before he even finished his command. As he waited, he began to wonder. How had the boy's condition deteriorated so quickly? _It had to be the collar. And the emotional and physical stress._ What could they do now? They would be landing shortly. He could only hope that Obi-Wan would be able to hold out until they land. Minutes later, Bant and Ja were rushing into the room.

Ja didn't even bother speaking. He automatically went to the cot and began examining the patient. "Damn, I was afraid of this." He said after moments that stretched into eternity. "I was hoping we would be back on Coruscant before it progressed this far."

Anxious, Qui-Gon asked, "What? What is happening?"

"Internal bleeding Master. I suspected it almost from the beginning." Ja ran a hand over his face as if the simple motion would ease some of his disappointment. "I think if he was able to keep using those Jedi techniques this wouldn't have even been an issue. But once that collar was put on, it's been getting steadily worse. Fortunately, he took it easy while on Onderon. This is aggravated. Has he exerted himself since last I saw him??"

The tall Jedi stood directly behind the man watching on with great interest. "Regrettably so, Healer. He began another bout similar to that of the rec room. At least, I was able to stop him before he was able to cause greater damage."

"It didn't have to be much to accelerate his condition. I should have told you, but he seemed like he was not in the mood to do much anyway back in Iziz. I figured he would have done the same here. Damn." He chastised himself for not considering the possibility. 

"Is there anything we can do to help you, Healer?" Bant sounded incredibly calm considering how sickly her friend looked and the threatening dangers that could steal him away from her again. 

Kohnwei glanced over to look at the Padawan directly, and gave a wan smile. "All we can do is keep him comfortable right now. Without any of the tools I need or a Bacta Tank available, we'll just have to sit tight until we can get him to a Center for treatment." The others nodded solemnly in acceptance.

The trio kept vigilance over their charge. It was a quiet contemplative time. Each of them resolving to their own introspection rather than disrupting the reticence that engulfed the room. Obi-Wan had slipped back in to a dream state, this time it didn't appear to be riddled with dark images as before. They felt a small tremor as the ship dropped out of Hyperspace. It would only be a matter of time now. The morbid expressions on their faces were the first thing Toked Jamil noticed when he came back into the cell block. 

"By the looks of everything, I'm guessing he hasn't gotten any better?"

"No, Toked." The youngest of the three answered. Her tone saddened by this confession.

Once again Jamil questioned the judgement of the OSF. How could so many care for such a hardened criminal if he was as dangerous as previously described? It didn't make any sense. These people diligently waiting seemed more like concerned friends rather than people escorting an unknown criminal. It was obvious that everything was not as it appeared. Clearing his throat, he tried to lighten the mood. "Well, the good news is we are on approach for Coruscant and we should be able to get him checked out once we land. Do you want me to contact anyone?"

"Official Lanthr had mentioned that a Fama Martorana will be meeting us. Has Master Gallia or any of your people contacted them yet?" Qui-Gon inquired.

"I'm not sure. I can check for you. Do you have any requests you want me to convey?"

"Of course," the Knight responded trying not to sound annoyed. "We need to get him to a Healing Center. We need to know which one would be closest and best capable of handling his condition. As well as which one has an affiliation with Republic Security since he is still in their custody."

"And what is his condition exactly?" Jamil knew the boy was sick, he just didn't know the details. 

Kohnwei stood to rattle off the list, speaking for the first time. "Blaster wound to the abdominal region, numerous lacerations and abrasions. Various possible fractures. And internal bleeding, the exact extent of which is not determinable at the moment without proper equipment."

"And he is in a mild state of shock that will only worsen the more delay there is." Bant added at the end. 

Qui-Gon also pointed out, "He is also struggling with the effects of a Suppression Collar. If there is any way, please discuss the removal of said device immediately."

Jamil was shocked. With all that they had described he was even more amazed at how the OSF could believe the pirate was capable of causing any trouble what so ever. "I'll see what I can do." Moving over to a corner, Jamil contacted his commander to give him the update. At first Qui-Gon tried to listen to the hushed discussion but his attention was drawn back to his would-be Padawan.

"thirsty." Obi-Wan croaked out. Apparently, he was roused by the multitude of voices around him. Exhausted, pain-filled eyes sought out someone to answer his plea.

Kohnwei knelt next to the youth, "Sorry, kid, can't let you have anything right now. We're about to land. I need you to hold on for just a little longer. Then we can get you all fixed up. Can you do that for me?" Obi-Wan gave an almost imperceptible nod, then closed his eyes again. Ja looked up at the Knight worry etched in his features. "What ever we do, we're going to have to do it fast." 

Qui-Gon agreed wholeheartedly. "I cannot express how much I appreciate your assistance through all this, Healer Kohnwei." When Qui-Gon first brought Obi-Wan to the Healer back on the _Zenah,_ he never imagined how involved the man would get. And he truly was thankful for the man's initiative to continue aiding the pirate rogue when he was no longer obligated. The Knight just couldn't overlook it any longer.

"It's alright." The healer placed a hand on the man's shoulder. "And please, I think we can drop the formality. Just Ja, ok?" He smiled up at the taller man hoping that he would accept his suggestion.

Qui-Gon smiled back thoughtfully, "Thank you, Ja."

Before any more could be said, Jamil walked back over. "They've already informed Martorana of our platform coordinates. I've told them to have a team waiting to retrieve the boy. They will let us know which Center he'll be admitted to once we land. They also said, the collar will have to be considered later. According to the regs, it should stay on until he is released. Unless, you can somehow convince them otherwise." Jamil could see the man's jaw clench as he mentioned the collar. Obviously the imposing figure was not pleased with this judgement, but knew better than to blame the messenger and kept his thoughts in check. It would be something Qui-Gon would have to address himself once they landed.

*

Less than an hour later, the passengers were unloading and scurrying away from the _Norelwind_. Most of the exit ramps were a frenzy of activity however by one the chaos was organized. The children that had been involved had been loaded onto a skybus and taken back to the Temple. Qui-Gon, Bant, Ja, and a few others were surrounding a gravsled that held a young man. Waiting at the bottom of the ramp for their arrival were Adi, Siri, and Tahl. In addition, Official Fama Martorana and her team also stood close by watching the proceedings. There were two more figures standing in their midst, figures that Qui-Gon should have expected but didn't: the dark form of Mace Windu and the diminutive Master Yoda.

Qui-Gon acknowledged them with a slight bow. Instead of heading over to speak with them, he kept to his primary concern. He followed the group taking Obi-Wan as they loaded the youth in a vehicle bound for Toug Horiz Memorial Center. He was about to climb in after when one of the emergency healers stopped him, "I'm sorry sir, but you can't go with him. We don't have enough room. CSF requires one of their men to go and he fills that extra opening."

Qui-Gon was about to protest when Ja stepped forward. "Is it possible that I accompany him? I have been the Healer taking care of him since the initial raid. My input would be invaluable to you."

The emergency medic glanced at Ja then nodded reluctantly. "We could definitely use your help, but it's going to be a tight fit." Then turning, the EMH headed toward the waiting vehicle.

Ja looked back over to the Knight. "Qui-Gon, I'll make sure he gets the best treatment. You need to take a moment to relax now. Then you can start working on them to get that collar removed. I'll see you shortly." Ja placed a reassuring hand on the man's arm for an instant then hurried to get on the vessel so that he wouldn't be left behind.

Qui-Gon called after him, "Thank you." Stealing one last glance at the Jedi, the door slid closed. The craft took off once they were all secured. Qui and the others watched it melt into the afternoon traffic. When they could no longer keep track of it, Qui-Gon turned to his companions readying himself for the coming battle.

Staring back, Mace stated, "We need to talk."

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Well, sorry if this wasn't too exciting. I've been really trying to get the story moving without taking away from all that I've already done. I struggled with this chap for a while and am still not entirely happy. But it's better than it was. I hope you guys liked it. ;) 

Thanks for reading and all the wonderful reviews for last chap. They really really really made my day. Now if only ff.n didn't have that hiccup I wouldn't have been tearing my hair out waiting to read them all. ;) Thanks a bunch and reviews are a writer's best gift!!! ;D

Kaat ShadowLover – Thanks. :) Yeah, I wanted to give some insight as to why Kuuur had such a conflict with Obi. And I just LOVE angst! lol. Qui isn't the best when it comes to people's emotions. If he understood those, he wouldn't have left Obi on Melida/Daan. He was just way too concerned with his own feelings he neglected his Padawan's. So I figured he still hasn't learned his lesson in this timeline. 

K-Rock – My little bud!! How's it hangin' chickie! ;) Yeah, I liked the Rh chap. You've really got a handle on it. Unfortunately work's been a bit chaotic as of late. I only had a page left of revision for this chap this morning and it too me the entire day to look through it. I wish they would figure out, they only pay me so that I can write. lol. :) Ah, Obi-Torture is great when it's physical. And mental torture can be just as good. But when both are combined do we have something that is truly wonderful. ]:) Thanks!! And don't worry so much about how long it takes you to read. Personally, I'm a slow reader to begin with so getting interrupted usually pisses me off rather well. You are a travelin' girl. Well, I hope you had fun. I just wish I could keep to a weekly schedule any more. *sigh* I guess what ever I can get done will have to do. Looking forward to more RH. And thanks for the reply on 'Whispers.' It meant a lot to me. :D

Delphine Pryde – I wish I could buy stock in that phrase. I hear it all the time. Can't imagine why? ]:D

Fudge – Thank you very much! Yeah, that's what I was going for. I'm so ecstatic that I managed to pull it off. :D I'm so glad you are enjoying it. Hope this wasn't too much of a disappointment. 

YLJedi – Thank you. Thank you!! :D I just hope I can live up to the expectations I have set. And my ego is far from bulstered. I fear the crash more than the high. But go ahead and keep reviewing as such, it really keeps me motivated to write! Thanks again!! :D

nat – Thank you! I'm so glad you like them. :) That was an interesting visual. Quite clear. ;) And life is only worth living with great Obi-Torture!! :D 

Shan – Oh, my wonderful, dear, sweet Beta!!! This fic would be nothing without you!!! :D You're suggestions were right on. And you turned it into one of my favourite chapters! Thank you, Thank you!! :D And to be honest I think I'm past novella and heading into Novel now. I use 10 pt font and the whole finished sections, once put together I'm at about 145 pages, not including this chap. And since you know my intentions and that I'm no where near the end yet. It's probably going to end up at around 200. Good I hope I can do all the chars justice. It's been so hard juggling them all any more. You just keep me on track ok? Thanks again you beautiful Beta you!! :D

Death Rider – Hey, guilt ridding Obi will always look for the harshest punishment, because that's what he feels he deserves. And who are we to argue?? ]:D Oh, I do. I do. Mental and physical anguish are my life's calling. I love reading them and have almost as much fun writing them. You have to remember, the Force is very much a part of a Force Sensitive, and even more so for Jedi. To be stripped of it in the middle of dealing with other traumas only makes it worse. Sometimes the only means of escape is to create a new world. Anyway, I don't think Xan's involved here, yet. But that doesn't mean it wasn't influenced by Xan. Mwahahah mwahahaha mwahahahahahahahahaha. (best Dr. Evil laugh as I can muster.) I'm hoping you want to keep going for a record. Can we see four reviews??? ;) Hope so. 

Dani – Oh my goodness, you are incredibly kind!! :D :D :D Thank you sooo much!!!! I don't thin kthis fic will ever be as good as you claim, but the thoughts were truly wonderful! They really made me smile. And I appreciate that beyond words! The writing may be all mine but if not for Shan's Plot Bunny and constant encouragement who knows where this fic would be right now. So much of my gratitude goes to her. Thank you for everything. I know I can sometimes battle with my inner demons I just felt that they were still human and had their own battles to wage. As far as Obi's conscience, I don't want to say it's his alone, but it's not Sideous or anyone like that. In a sense I have dropped a lot of hint as to who nurtured the seeds of his demons, but not all at once and not in any obvious way. Eventually I will reveal more, but I don't want to give it all away now. Oh, there is sooooo much more to come. I hope you have the patience and stamina to wait. I know even mine's starting to fray at times. So hopefully I can get this puppy movin' and we can get to even more of the good stuff!! :D Thanks again!! I really appreciate it!

Pheonix Flight – You're welcome!! Thanks for reviewing!! :D 

YLJedi – You crack me up! I'm glad you told me. It might help me sort out a few things I wasn't sure about in later books. But I have never been one to delve in too deep with profanity or sexual situations. I've never been much of a romance writer so you're pretty safe there. Although, I'm not entirely exempt from it. Profanity has been a pet peeve of mine in fan fic. Which is why I use alternatives or the 'mild' ones whenever possible. The only thing I have been prone to is violence. I sometimes push the envelope but I try not to get overly explicit. You'll just have to tell me if I ever go too far. Thanks for sharing. I'm glad my fic can be read by so many while satisfying so many people's expectations. Thanks again!! I really appreciate it!! :D

REVIEW!!! Please. I'll beg. Just ask, and I'll do it. Thanks for reading!! Hopefully, more soon. ;)


	26. Chapter 25: Unexpected Needs

Chapter 25: Unexpected Needs

__

"So why ya gotta stand there

looking like the answer now?

It seems to me - you'd come around

I need you now

Do you think you can cope?

You figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless,

bleeding and broken- though I've never spoken

I come undone…" Mad Season(Matchbox Twenty - Mad Season)

The mood was somber in the transport. _Well, maybe not somber as more clinical and disassociated,_ Ja thought. He glanced at the people around him. The EMH's were following their procedures, checking vitals and doing a rudimentary assessment of the damage. The CSF guard that took Master Jinn's place was leaning back as best he could in the cramped cabin with his eyes closed. He obviously was not too thrilled about being here. Huffing slightly at the lack of feeling amidst the group, he wondered if he would ever get like these healers. _I suppose that's why I never took a job in a Center. Too many of my colleagues lose sight of why they became healers in the first place._

A soft pained whimper caught his attention and Ja looked down at the prone form. The young man still looked considerably pale, sweat beading on his brow - which was furrowed even in sleep - and looking rather vulnerable in Ja's mind. Over the past few hours, the rogue slowly grew on the Healer. And with everything he had witnessed, Ja knew why. The boy was special. He couldn't really explain it any other way if he were asked, but he knew it. Staring down at the pirate, he hoped that everything would eventually work out. He knew Qui-Gon was desperate to be with the youth and it seemed that he was not the only one. Many of the Jedi looked at him with compassion in their eyes. 

His thoughts wandered back to when they arrived on Coruscant. While most of the passengers were departing the _Norelwind_, the EMH team came to the small brig to collect their patient. But they had not the only ones. Just behind them, two robed figures moved silently into the crowded room. Not fully understanding why, Ja could sense the tension in the room spike at their arrival. Never intending to eavesdrop, Ja heard the Jedi speaking in hushed tones. How those moments seemed so long ago already.

~~

"Masters," Qui-Gon greeted. They bowed slightly in response. "Do you see now, that Obi-Wan Kenobi is still alive?"

"We see a young man who may be Obi-Wan, but there are still too many questions that need answers." Mace replied. He glanced down, expecting Yoda to nod agreement when he found the little green being was no longer at his side. Looking around quickly, he spied the ancient Master walking to where the Healers were working. 

Yoda had been reclusive since the initial revelation was imparted. But when Mace decided to meet up with Adi and Qui-Gon the tiny Master came along. Mace noticed that Yoda's ears would twitch occasionally and his frown seemed to deepen. Now, the little being had made his way over to the sleeping form in the middle of a flurry of activity. Being so small, his presence did very little to disrupt their job. For a number of moments he just stood looking at the boy. Then he lifted his tri-fingered hand and placed it gently on the moist brow and closed his eyes. Almost a full minute later, a concerned gaze emerged. Yoda didn't bother turning around as he spoke, "Obi-Wan Kenobi, this is." He lingered a moment longer, patting the boy's hand briefly before turning and walking out of the room.

Mace, as well as the others, had watched on silently. But when the little green Master abruptly left, Mace automatically followed. There was something in the ancient voice that troubled him. This discussion was over for the time being, but Mace would not let it go for long. Obi-Wan had been moved from the cot onto a gravsled and they were ready to leave. The group slowly made their way out.

~~

Ja remembered seeing the strange petite creature walk up to the boy. But the look in the dark eyes once he determined that the youth was who they thought it was, made the healer once again realize that there was so much more to the story than he ever imagined. Maybe that was part of the reason he accompanied the boy. Not only to ease Qui-Gon's frustrations but for curiosity's sake as well. He wanted to know what could have placed the young man in harm's way and kept him there even after he had been freed. Ja was no fool. When he examined the rogue in the medbay on the _Zenah_ he recognized the marks of torture. 

Vicious lines cut, healed and re-cut again. Smooth spots of skin indicating burns of some kind. Even what he figured were claw marks and teeth bites could still be found on the young body. What made this knowledge worse was the simple fact that all these markings were old - years old - which meant that he was even younger when he was subjected to such atrocities. Ja shivered with rage and sympathy. He could feel the sting in his eyes again as he gazed at the sleeping rogue. It was then that he realized that his hand gently smoothed back caramel bangs. Feeling suddenly uneasy, he glanced up to notice the confused looks regarding him. Cautiously, he removed his hand under the EMHs scrutiny.

He would regret that decision. Only heartbeats after his hand withdrew, murky unfocused eyes fluttered open from under copper lashes. Desperately, they began taking in his surroundings and finding nothing familiar instinct took over. Chaos erupted as the boy began to struggle, trying to free himself, ripping off everything the EMHs had finished putting on. In order to keep him from injuring himself further, they automatically jumped on top of him to stop his struggles. The resting SCF rep jerked awake and began demanding to know what was happening. 

Ja was instantly at Obi-Wan's side, reaching for his flailing hand and grabbing it. Pulling the frantic limb to him, he began muttering into Obi's ear, "Obi-Wan, son. It's ok. You're safe. It's me, Ja, from the _Zenah_. You remember me, don't you? I promise everything will be alright. You need to calm down now, son. You don't want to make it worse, do you? That's it. Relax. I'm here. You need to stay calm, ok?" With his constant litany, gradual awareness returned to the pain-filled gaze and his struggles slowly ceased. "Hey, we're heading to a Center. We're gonna make you better." Ja tried to smile reassuringly.

Obi-Wan turned to look at the kindly healer. He was confused but grateful to find a familiar presence close by. His sleep was troubled, lost in the sea of nightmares he felt he would never escape. So when he awoke the disorientation was to be expected but that didn't make it any less frightening. He focused with his meager strength on the man's face. Swallowing, he managed to croak out, "Qui-G…"

"Shhh, don't try to talk. He wasn't allowed to come, but I was able to sneak on board. Don't you worry though, I don't think he'll be gone for long. I wouldn't be surprised if he was already waiting at the Center for us. So just lie back, sleep and let the healer's do their job, ok? I'll be right next to you the whole time." 

Almost imperceptibly, Obi-Wan nodded. Closing his eyes, he easily drifted back into the world of unconsciousness having spent the last of his energy. Ja watched the youth for a few more seconds when he noticed the EMHs returning to their duties. 

The CSF man settled back in his seat but didn't relax all the way this time. Not really addressing anyone, he asked, "How much longer?"

"About ten to fifteen more minutes," one of the EMHs answered.

Ja lightly squeezed the hand he still held, "Everything's gonna be alright, kid. You're gonna be just fine."

**

The intense gazes locked and wills battled. Finally, the tall knight broke the stand off. "That will have to wait until I return from the Center."

"No, Qui," Mace stopped him by placing a firm hand on the man's forearm. "We need to talk now. I - we - still have questions." The Council had been struggling with this situation. With Qui-Gon's request feeding the fire, the opinions had been divided and they were not even entirely versed on what was going on. The turmoil had frustrated many of them on both sides and the Head of the Council felt it would be best to tackle the subject immediately to ease the tension. Obviously, Qui-Gon didn't fully share this idea.

"There are others here who are capable of providing answers. Right now, Obi-Wan needs me and that is where I must go." A scowl formed on the leonine features, he was challenging his crèche mate to counter his decision.

A firm voice answered him, "This is not the same Obi-Wan you once knew."

Shaking his head, he broke free of the dark councilor's hold and pointed at the minute Master standing at their feet. "You heard Master Yoda, that is Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Mace was having a hard time keeping his temper. As much as they were friends, there were too many times that Qui-Gon infuriated him. Emotions were inconclusive while they could give a better handle on the situation they were not to be trusted. To his dismay, Qui-Gon was relying on them too much here. Somehow, he needed to make his friend see things logically. "That's not what I meant. He may be Obi-Wan but he is not the same as the initiate he was."

"Of course not, Mace." Qui-Gon placed his arms in the folds of his robe and squared his shoulders. It was a stance he took when he was about to say something that should end a debate. "Back then he was a boy who was cast aside and forgotten. He was left to fend off the galaxy and forced to endure tortures beyond reckoning. How could anyone be the same person they were after such pain?"

Sighing, Mace realized he was not going to get past the stubborn defiance. Still, he appealed to the Knight, "That is why I have questions. I want to know what has happened to him since the _Monument_, who had done this to him, what horrors he faced. You asked that we accept him back for training, how can I make a decision when I know nothing about the situation."

"That is your concern, now please excuse me, I need to get to Obi-Wan." Honestly, Qui-Gon didn't feel that they should have to debate the subject. It should be obvious what they were required to do. He had spent enough time with Obi-Wan to know he was still a Jedi. In time they would see this as well. But for now, he needed to be there for the boy. Turning, he started walking away.

"You have not been dismissed yet, Master Jinn." The formality stopped the man in his tracks. He didn't turn, simply listened. "I need you to be rational, Qui. You are allowing your emotions to cloud your judgement. This matter needs to be discussed immediately. From what I heard the Healer's saying, Obi-Wan will be immersed in Bacta for at least 10 hours. He will not need you there for that time."

Glancing over his shoulder, his face hard set with determination. "Perhaps not, but he is not in the Bacta yet. And until he is submerged I will be by his side." With that, the intimidating man turned and walked to where a waiting airtaxi sat. 

"Qui-Gon!" Mace all but shouted. At a light touch on his leg, he looked down.

Placing his gimmer stick back in front of him, Yoda watched Qui-Gon go. Sighing, he said, "Let Qui-Gon go you must. Correct he is. Need him Obi-Wan does. Return Qui-Gon will on his own. Until then wait we will." Some of the anger fled at the Master's gentle prompting, but it still left the dark councilor feeling dissatisfied. 

"Masters, I can give you my report in the meantime as well as my Padawan, Master Tahl and Padawan Eerin." Adi spoke up for the first time. She wanted to help out as best she could. Having sat on the Council for years now, she knew how Mace could get especially when butting heads with one of the most obstinate Knights in the Order. It was a peace offering at best, but at least it was something to begin with.

Nodding, the Jedi Master agreed, "Yes, we would appreciate your candor in this matter." They were about to walk off when another voice entered the mix.

"Excuse me, Masters, but I would like to set up a time to get a statement from your people." The authority in her tone and her attire clearly indicated that this was the SCF Official in charge.

"Of course, Official Martorana." Adi addressed her with respect. "If it would be acceptable to you, please have someone sent to the Temple. There were many children involved but we can determine who might be of assistance to you later."

Fama gave a curt nod. "That wouldn't be a problem. I'll send some of my people over shortly. Thank you Masters." Her business settled, she wandered off more than likely to find others from the incident. 

Mace announced, "We should return to the Temple now. We have things to discuss about the Kenobi situation." The group began heading for a Temple transport. As they walked, Bant hung back slightly. Seeing this, Tahl moved over to her Padawan recognizing the troubled expression so many often missed. 

Hushed, she asked, "Is something troubling you, Padawan?" They continued to follow the others.

"Why do they talk of Obi-Wan as if he were not a living breathing human being? Hasn't Obi been through enough that he shouldn't have to deal with one more humiliation? As much as I am grateful for learning of his existence, I'm beginning to think he was better off with the Pirates. At least they seemed to care." Tahl placed a compassionate hand on her charge's shoulder having heard the hurt in her voice. 

"You should not judge them so harshly. You must understand they have much to consider in their position. Their loyalty must first be to the Order, not to the individual. I know that is difficult, and I would prefer their methods to be different as well, but we must accept it for now. Perhaps they will see the truth soon enough to correct their assumptions before more damage can be done."

"I hope so Master, or I will have lost Obi again."

**

"I am looking for Obi-Wan Kenobi. Do you know where I can find him?" Qui-Gon asked the receptionist. Glaring at the man briefly she checked her systems.

The stout little humanoid announced her findings in a crackling voice. "I have an Obi-Wan Kenobi listed for Sector 4 Level 8 Restricted area. He is just being brought in now. May I have your clearance code?"

"Clearance code?" The Knight questioned. He miscalculated the fact the Obi-Wan was still in SCF custody and would obviously be kept separate from the other patients. The receptionist cute through his thoughts.

"Yes, I told you the area he is in is Restricted. You must provide a clearance code before you will be permitted to visit the patient. So please state your clearance code." She stated this as if he should have known and then sat waiting impatiently for his answer. She knew one wasn't coming of course, since he didn't even know he needed one, but gave him a chance anyway.

Qui-Gon had had enough. He didn't have time to play these bureaucratic games. He needed to get to Obi-Wan now. Focusing his gaze on the woman behind the desk he waved his hand slightly. "You don't need my Clearance Code."

"I don't need your Clearance Code," she repeated automatically. Qui-Gon stifled a smirk of satisfaction and continued his influence.

"You should inform them of my arrival."

"I'll let them know you are on your way up. I don't think you need to deal with checking in twice. Just follow the orange line on the ground and once you get to the lift press for level 8. To your right there will be another desk. One of the healer aides there will take you to Kenobi." She smiled friendly enough, not realizing she had been manipulated.

"Thank you. I appreciate your assistance." Qui-Gon turned to follow her directions and he could hear her access the comms behind him. Quickly, he made his way through the Center, a sense of urgency hastening his steps. In a matter of minutes he was exiting the shaft and making his way to the desk. A rather young healers aide smiled as he approached. "I am here for Obi-Wan Kenobi."

Cheerily, she regarded the visitor. "Yes, I was expecting you Master…." 

"Jinn."

"Master Jinn, follow me." She led him down the hall to a room where faint voices could be heard. "Right through here sir." Qui-Gon stepped in to the preparation room. Orderlies and Healers scurried around a medcouch in the center of the room. He could see that they were removing Obi-Wan's clothes and prepping him for submerging. In one of the corners closer to the door, he noted the SCF Official waiting patiently while they worked. Amidst the group he recognized Ja Kohnwei. 

At the same moment, Ja looked up and their eyes locked. Quickly, he bent down and whispered to Obi-Wan. Then he hurried over to the Knight, "Qui-Gon, I'm glad you're here. They'll be submerging him in a few minutes so you won't have too much time. But I wanted you to know, he's been asking for you."

The surprise at this comment must have pierced through his normally calm Jedi exterior, for Ja smiled and placed a hand on Qui's shoulder. "He asked for me?" The Knight never expected that. After everything that has happened he would have assumed that Obi-Wan wouldn't want to have him hovering around. It's not like he could do much for the youth right now. His hands were tied. And yet, Obi-Wan had sought him out specifically. His heart clenched at the news.

"Yes," Ja affirmed gently. He knew how much this would touch the older Jedi and was pleased to see he was right. Motioning with his eyes, he said, "you should go to him, they're almost done."

Hastily, the Knight made his way over to the medcouch. The form was so still and pale except where the bruises and scars shone through. The blaster wound had been undressed to allow the Bacta every chance to heal the marred flesh. Automatically, his hand went to hover over the wound to induce some Force Healing. But he stopped in mid motion as he remembered the foul abomination that circled the young man's neck. His hand clenched in frustration and dropped back down to his side. Qui-Gon's other hand came up to caress a sweat soaked brow. He accompanied the motion with a calming tone, "Obi-Wan?"

Ginger lashes fluttered open revealing the pain-dulled eyes. It took a few seconds before they focused on the Jedi. An expression washed over his feature caught in a mix of fear, hope, relief and longing. All of these tied to the man next to him. After the incident on the _Norelwind_, Obi-Wan had becoming increasingly unstable, not just physically but mentally as well. So much was happening to him and it was hard to keep up with all the changes. Oddly enough he was able to find some semblance of stability when Qui-Gon, Bant and Ja were present. He was already extremely grateful to know that Ja was close by, but he never anticipated the pure relief he felt at seeing Qui-Gon there. His voice barely above a whisper, he croaked, "Qui-Gon…." He was immediately hushed into silence.

"Be still young one. You are safe." He reached down to clasp hands, reinforcing his presence.

"collar……….chok…king…."

The frail words tore at his already aching heart. "I know child, I know." There was no time for him to demand its removal, at best he would have to wait until Obi-Wan re-emerged from the Bacta tank. And even then it will be a lengthy battle he must wage before he can achieve even the slightest of results. "They will be placing you in the tank shortly. I know it will be hard but you must relax. Let the Bacta do its work. Its powers have served millions without the aid of the Force. You will be sedated to smooth the process, do not fight it."

"no…. Bacta…. Please.." Breathing shallow and wallowing in a sea of misery, Obi-Wan couldn't form all the words he wanted to say. He hoped, somehow, the Knight would be able to discern what he was trying to say. He needn't have worried.

Knowing his own aversion to Bacta Submergence, he gathered that Obi-Wan had a similar distaste for it. Sympathetically, he grinned. "I am not fond of the process myself, but it is the only way right now. I cannot effect our Healing techniques with the Collar on. I truly am sorry, Obi-Wan. If you relax this should only be needed once. Then we can see about getting that collar off."

Pleading eyes continued to gaze up at him. If only he could take away all the pain and tell him that everything was going to be all right. Reality battled fantasy and once again faint cultured tones ripped through his soul, "stay…..wait…"

Qui-Gon fought back tears. He needed to be strong right now and he would not fail Obi-Wan again. This torment of what he must do was just another reason to achieve his goal with the Council quickly. "I must go to the Council. I will try not to take long, but I will return before you come out. I promise." Gently, he soothed the distraught rogue.

From behind him a healer muttered, "It's time." Qui-Gon could feel the tenuous grasp in his hand tighten and knew Obi-Wan disagreed. 

"Obi-Wan, remember I will be back as soon as I can." The group began maneuvering the young pirate toward the tank in the back corner. Qui-Gon desperately tried to hold on while they worked but found his grip slipping little by little. Carefully, they lifted the patient up and slid him into the enclosure. He held on for as long as he could. In the end he was forced to let the young man go. Once everything was in place, the healers checked the systems to make sure there were no further complications. Satisfied with their findings the room slowly emptied leaving only two. 

Just before entering the tank, the sedative took effect rendering the youth unconscious. Ja and Qui-Gon stood in silence watching the floating form. Now all that could be done was wait. Very rarely did any problems occur while in Bacta and Ja began to think about other things now. Perhaps it was time for him to consider his own situation. Glancing over at the Knight, he cleared his throat. "Qui-Gon, I will need to contact my wife. I'm sure she is worried if the holonet has decided to publicize our situation."

Absently, the man responded, "Yes, of course." A moment later, he managed to break the trance he had been in. Smiling at the Healer, he couldn't help but repeat, "I must thank you again for helping Obi-Wan. You are a gem among your peers." Ja accepted the compliment with a smile. Silence returned. Sad eyes watched a slumbering figure tainted green by the healing liquid. Just above a whisper, his heart spoke, "I do not want to leave him." His hand touched the plexiglass that separated them. 

"I know, but you should speak with your Council. Perhaps they can find a solution to this whole collar mess. But for now he's in one of the safest places he could be. The Healer I spoke with upon arrival said that Obi-Wan will have to be in the tank for 18 hours to repair the damage. That should give us both enough time to eat, sleep and think. I know you'll beat me back here, but don't you go thinkin' that my job's done. He still is _my_ patient and I happen to believe in Healer-patient loyalty. Come on, there's not much more you can do here now anyway. Let the healers do their job. And we'll both be here when he comes out."

Sighing, Qui knew the truth in the healer's words. Together they turned and headed for the door. Ja walked through first, and as the Jedi stepped into the doorway, he paused and looked back at the tank. A new sensation flooded him giving him strength and determination. Invigorated, he squared his shoulders and walked out. It was time to talk with the Council.

-------------------------------------------

Sorry for the delay, but this chap just was not cooperating. Finally managed to get something decent written. And here it is. :) OH, and I'm sure you realized that that *big* scene everyone's been waiting for wasn't in here. Yeah, that's because I'm afraid to write it. But I've set myself up for it now and there's no backing out. So stay tuned ok? Anyway, thanks for reading! And a review would be nice. :D

Fudge – Well, Obi is always my focus. If he's not in the chap what ever is going on still pertains to him. And a vulnerable suffering Obi is enough to make anyone's heart melt. :D Thanks, just don't forget that analogy. Remember I usually have specific scenes in for a reason. You just won't know why for a long time. :p

K-Rock – I don't think I ever told you that I liked the new RH chap. I'm actually really enjoying someone else take over the ground work. Really helps me stay focused on the fics I am posting on. :) So thank you very, very, VERY much for helping me out!!! :D I'm so glad you like Mys. I still find it funny, I was only planning on her being a bit part, popping up now and then and that's about it. But many people enjoyed her parts and I actually had a lot of fun developing the char I had to use her over and over. But it's always nice to see people do like her. I think they are starting to figure out at work that I'll get to that once my writing's done. But we'll see. If it stays that way. I hope to see those Obi-Angst/torture sessions soon. ]:D Always love those!! :D Talk to you later!!

Nat – Oh, you need a fix too then?? It's more than a fix for me. When I read good Obi-Angst I don't need food or water. I'm happy and content and feel wonderful. God only knows why? Anyway, Yeah, we should see that scene very soon. *biting nails* Heh, yeah. *faints*

Dani – Thanks. We'll just have to see if you had it all figured out when the time comes. Bant and Tahl are really interesting to write. They usually hold my insightful moments infused with tenderness. Usually, they are easy to write for me. It's some of the others that give me trouble. :8} Yeah, but that's why Obi's a Jedi. He forgives and cares for others so openly. If he didn't put himself in harm's way for the sake of others, I don't think we would like him so much. Like I said in one of my other fics, Obi is Obi. And I don't think we would want it any other way. ;)

Death Rider – WOW, you are getting serious here! So many reviews!! You sure know how to make a girl happy. lol. You're so evil. I think Obi's been through enough for the time being. But that doesn't mean it's all over either!! Mwahahahahaha ]:D We shall see what the future holds. ;)

YLJedi – Thank you very much. I struggled with it for a bit but I think it came out decently. You are too kind. You don't know how hard it is to keep up with everyone's expectations. I try my best but sometimes I feel like I'm not quite there. *sigh* Curse for a writer, but hey, we live, we write, we move on. ;) Obi-Angst is my forte and I enjoy doing it so much. I'm happy to know I'm only one of many in this venue. :D

flarescence – Thank you very much!! :D Wow, I'm so glad you like this and how it's flowing. Sometimes I feel like we're moving at a snail's pace, but at other times I feel like to move any faster would only take away from the story. *sigh* And thank you for all the lovely criticism. Dialogue is a very difficult thing to write. Sometimes that is what holds me up the most. If I don't like the dialogue I ship the draft off to my betas for ideas and then see how to make it stronger. Their help has made this fic even better than what I intended and for that I am thankful. My chars are a worry as well, I do my best to make them real yet have their own distinct style to them. I don't want them to appear flat or stale, unless they really are not essential to the plot. I used to have a habit when I created a char I would determine their history and background. Now it's just not so feasible. So, hopefully the 'bit parts' people won't suffer too much for it. But I think concentrating on the more pertinent people would be best on this fic. And I am overjoyed to hear that you like my work enough to say you're a fan. It really means a lot to me. I know I say that so often but it's only because it's true. The fact that I can make others happy makes me happy. So thank you!! :D

Amazed – Aww, thanks. :D I'm glad you like it. Series? How did you know? ;) This is only the beginning. I have a rough ideas of a number of stories that will follow this. Eventually I would love to take it up to Episode 1 at least but have the potential to go on. So we'll see what happens. Uh, yeah, that Council scene will have to wait until next chap. I just hope it lives up to the 'hype.' It's not all that strange. As you can see many of us are Angst freaks. For a while I thought I was the only one. Then I found Fan fic and found others like me. I cannot even begin to tell you what a relief that was for me. I think I am a much happier more relaxed person because of it. So don't worry, you'll never be alone in the love of pain, anguish and torment done to our fave chars. ;) Yes, bodies can sometimes be easier to repair compared to the damage of the heart. People as a whole are emotional, and when our emotions are hurt it can take a very long time to heal. Now, shhhhh, that may have come to mind, but I don't want to give away all my secrets. :p Thanks!! It's my nature to question my abilities. I can't avoid that. Although I am coming to accept that I like some of my writing now. ;) But I appreciate the vote of confidence. Hope to hear from you again!! :D

LOTRFaith – I will do my best to remember. Sorry if I don't always e-mail you. My memory is not the best. But I will try. I know, I know, 'Do or do not, there is no try.' But I hate promising something I may not remember to do. Anyway, Obi has been put through a lot. And I do agree with you, Chap 23 is probably one of the most heart-rending. That scene in particular came to me before I got to that chap. My first drafts did not meet my own expectations, but I was finally happy with the results. That scene saved that chap for me. I love it. I really wanted to get that pain of uncertainty out in the open. I wanted Qui-Gon to fully understand what he rejection had caused. And what he must face if he is to win Obi-Wan over completely. Yes, we have all thought those things. I know I have on more than one occasion. Our purpose in life is something we always seek and I can't imagine them being any different. Honestly, the hardest or closest scene to a rather tender time for me was back in chap 9(I believe) when Obi and Bant are talking in the rec room, and he sums up his life thus far in a single word: Alone. Typing those fives letters was hard. But I have come to the belief that writing is somewhat therapeutic for me and sharing Obi's pain brought me comfort and understanding in a way I would never have achieved on my own. So I understand how certain words or lines can touch someone. I am sorry if it was hard to read but I hope that you were able to find the same kind of comfort as I did. I don't feel that I have an ease with words but I do love writing so. I am just happy to share. ;) Thanks again. :D

Jessica – You silly girl. But you have the right idea. The more you pester the more motivated I get. :p So here's that chap!!

And for anyone who's made it down to the bottom, just remember, your thoughts are always welcome. Until next chap!! :D


	27. Chapter 26: Talk and More Talk

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Chapter 26: Talk and More Talk

Double doors opened up into the large circular room. A lone figure strode in full of purpose and determination. Strong leonine features were hard set as he took in his surroundings. Crystal clear blue eyes looked at each member of the Council in turn - all of which were in attendance. Their startled glares did little to deter this man. Deliberately he had interrupted their session and found his place in the middle of the room. He stood tall and announced in a clear baritone, "I have come to discuss the subject of Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Master Jinn," the one-eyed Master began sharply, "you saw fit to put aside this discussion until you felt it was time. How dare you walk in here proclaiming that we should put all other subjects aside to discuss a criminal." 

Tight-lipped, Qui-Gon tried not to let the curt remark anger him further. He kept his voice as steady as he could. "Master Piell, it was my understanding that you were already discussing it, I am merely here to offer my opinion."

"Already known your opinion is." The tiny green being felt it wise to intervene before verbal blows could be dealt. His tone was weary but he continued on, "Agree with it some do. Some disagree as well."

Qui-Gon regarded the ancient Master curiously, some of his earlier anger slipping away. So often they had sat together and talked about many things. On more than one occasion, the subject of Obi-Wan had come up, a sore spot for both men. And now that the future was brightened with renewed hope, he couldn't comprehend why the enigmatic little being seemed to be discounting it so quickly. "Master Yoda, I must confess, I am a little confused by your behaviour. Often you had mentioned to me how you wished that Obi-Wan were still alive, that he should have been a Jedi, yet it seems you have not offered much support in his defense. May I ask why?" He truly wanted to understand. He didn't mean to put Yoda on the spot in front of the whole Council but he just couldn't wait for an answer any longer.

It was apparent to all that Yoda did not wish to discuss his reasoning at this point but since he had little choice in the matter, he said, "Hoped I did that return on his own Obi-Wan would."

"He has returned now, Master." In some ways he ignored the rest of the Council, his primary focus the green creature before him. However, one specifically would not allow him to ignore them for long.

"Only after he was found. And among pirates no less." Piell countered. 

Qui-Gon turned to regard the Councilor. His arms folded tightly across his chest. "I understand that the circumstances by which he was discovered and subsequently apprehended are not ideal, but he is still a Jedi. You must see this."

"How can we see anything? Only Master Gallia was with you and even with her testimony there is still much that is unclear. To determine Obi-Wan's fate we must know what has happened to him since his dismissal. And as of yet, has not been brought before us."

His frown deepening, he tensed at the Master's continued refutation. His tone a little harsher than he intended, but then again he felt it was called for. "That is difficult to achieve considering he is in Republic custody." Willingly, he pointed out the obvious answer to Piell's heated comment. "Perhaps you could effect his release and this matter could be settled once and for all." Qui-Gon heard a 'humpf' come from Yoda at his candid remarks. He was about to press the subject further when a deep voice full of authority spoke.

"That is something we cannot do." Mace leaned back in his chair steepling his fingers. 

Qui-Gon stared at him for a moment. He knew that the Mace's posture meant that his word was final but he simply could not accept defeat yet. So, cautiously, he inquired, "And why not?" The pair locked gazes waiting for the other to speak, but in the end a calmer voice answered.

"Qui-Gon," Adi began, "you have been on many missions recently and have had little interaction with many of the Senate and political leaders. So it is to my regret to inform you of the a growing sense of unrest right now amidst their circles. It is because of this unrest that the Order must consider its position carefully. Those that oppose the Jedi have become more vocal and are beginning to gain support. When I told you to stand down on Onderon, I was not doing so simply to defy you. This is larger than just one boy. If this is handled badly on our end it could further the beliefs that the Order is a liability to the Republic."

The room fell silent as all weighed her words. Qui-Gon had not been completely oblivious to the opposition towards the Jedi. However, like most of the Order they had not realized the extent of which it went. If the Republic no longer felt that the Jedi were beneficial to the peace of the galaxy they could pass a statute to disband the Order. He wondered if such a rule could ever be passed. Yet, he was starting to realize that cases of rogue and fallen Jedi could very well lead to their downfall. It was then that he also figured out what they were trying to say indirectly. 

Qui-Gon looked at the senior members pointedly. "So then we are not going to offer help to Obi-Wan? We are going to allow Republic law to judge a Force-sensitive? They know nothing of who we are."

Stern brown eyes observed the Knight, as Mace spoke, "They know the Jedi are powerful, wielding abilities that many do not understand."

Qui-Gon took a step forward, his arms falling to his sides. "And they will destroy him for those abilities alone. So often that which is feared is destroyed. We cannot allow that to happen. Obi-Wan was meant to be a Knight." Impassioned, he could not allow this injustice to occur.

"We have little choice right now. If we step in and make exceptions the people will start to wonder what kind of power we hold over the Senate and the laws. As Adi mentioned, there is already the perception that Jedi are above the law, that we do not have to abide by it. We know that we are not, but we must prove that we are not exempt. So, we will have to submit to their judgement first. He is a Republic criminal and Republic procedures must be followed. Once he has been tried and punishment has been administered can we reclaim him."

The Knight shook his head refusing to believe that this was the only course. "This is unacceptable. By letting them act out this farce, they will cause even more damage. Obi-Wan is unstable at the moment. He needs a soul healer. He needs Jedi influence. To leave him unaided and unguided could also fuel the fires against us if and when his instability is revealed."

Master Piell found his opening to rekindle his protest. "He has been beyond our influence for five years. If he needed our guidance he would have returned sooner."

"Unless believe he did that help him we would not." The arguing pair halted abruptly at the Master's quiet interjection. Many of the Council turned toward Yoda questioningly. It was Ki-Adi-Mundi that finally voiced their concerns.

"Master Yoda, all of our initiates are taught to respect their Masters and trust them. Why would he believe we would not help him if he had come to us?" Quiet whispers echoed his question. 

Yoda regarded them all patiently. "Because in the past we have not helped him. Failed him we have. Before sent to Bandomeer, neglected his testimony we did when told of Bruck's treachery. Two students lost and too arrogant we were to see it until too late it was." Another murmur erupted as the Councilors whispered back and forth.

It was Master Piell who silenced the room again. "Obi-Wan and Bruck's situations were unfortunate but I do not see how _we_ have failed."

The ancient Master stated what he knew to be true. And he knew that they could not deny it once he reminded them of the errors made at that time. "Dismissed prematurely Obi-Wan was. And blind to the darkness in Chun we were." Properly chastised, the room became eerily silent.

Qui-Gon surveyed the Council warily. He assumed that this must have been voiced in one of their sessions shortly after the incidents occurred, but how would this sway their intentions. The suspense was beginning to wear on him and he could wait no longer, "So does this mean you will help him?"

"This means nothing." Piell snapped, obviously not appreciative of the reminder. "Obi-Wan is not under our jurisdiction. Master Yoda is only making a point."

The Knight felt renewed confidence and coolly stated his opinion. "It sounded to me that he is suggesting you reconsider your decision."

"Suggesting I am that dismiss him we should not." Yoda quickly corrected both of them before the argument could escalate further. His face pinched briefly in weary reflection "Mistakes made should not be repeated. However, his position considered carefully should be. So much unknown there is. Obi-Wan must be brought before us, only then can we begin to see the whole picture."

Qui-Gon bristled against the old Master's reproach. His earlier moment of confidence was quickly fading as he realized that even Yoda seemed to be backing down. His voice was deep and cool. "And when will that be Masters? When there is nothing left of Obi-Wan?" Qui grew tired of these political games and his patience was wearing thin. 

Piell was in rare form. He had never been one to speak frequently during session, but he apparently had felt it time to voice his opinions. He glared at the Knight who stood defiantly in the center of the room. "Why do you persist on believing that Obi-Wan will be destroyed? The Republic is not comprised of butchers. Perhaps our enemies are correct in thinking that the Jedi think themselves above everyone else."

"You mistake my meaning, Master," Qui quickly defended. The harsh glares that surrounded him proved that he had been too critical of their methods. He was allowing his emotions to get the better of him and he knew it. The unfortunate aspect is that he did not want to reign them in. Still he knew that his condemnation would get him no further right now. He had to change his tactics before it was too late. Taking a deep calming breath, he started anew, "As Jedi, we _are_ subjects of the Republic but we are first subjects of the Force. And that is where our first allegiance should lie."

His gaze swept the room to gauge the reaction of those listening to his speech. They remained unequivocally indifferent. Qui-Gon continued his monologue hoping to incite them with his plea, "When we deny or betray its calling we disrupt the course the Force has designed for us. I know this to be true because in the bottom of my heart I know this was _not_ Obi-Wan's destiny. He was meant to be a Jedi and I ignored its will and set into motion the downward spiral we find ourselves in. And as I stand here before you, I sense there is something on the horizon, dark and looming, and it is there because of Obi-Wan. I believe that if we leave Obi-Wan in the hands of the Republic Justice System, we invite this darkness in."

"Speculation." Ki-Adi-Mundi's quiet tenor pointed out. Others nodded in agreement, "None of the Council has expressed any sense of darkness. Perhaps by acquitting Obi-Wan of his crimes and gaining custody will invite this darkness you speak of into the galaxy. Perhaps it is Obi-Wan that is the source of this darkness."

Tensing, his sharp eyes narrowed. He had been observing Obi-Wan's behaviour the moment that he was discovered, perhaps even earlier during the raid. And despite the rough beginning he felt that Obi-Wan was the focus not the cause. Once again he allowed his emotions to gain control of his tongue and released another clipped remark. "Just because you have not sensed it does not mean it is not there. And if Obi-Wan is left to their whim you will come to realize the mistake you are making."

That was the last straw for Piell. "Master Jinn, you are pressing our patience. Do not force us to suspend you from service."

"Suspend me?" Shocked at even the prospect, Qui-Gon voiced his protest. "For what, may I ask? Since Obi-Wan has been revealed to be alive, you have consistently asked me to give you my insight on the matter. I have been honest and told you what I believe to be true, yet you still hide behind bureaucracy instead of doing what you know is right. And for this I am to be suspended?"

"Your insolence would be the grounds for suspension. You have rebuffed our explanations as to why we are allowing the Republic System to carry out the trial. And in your need to countermand our decision, you have suggested that we are incapable of doing our duty."

For one full minute, the pair stood in silent battle. Neither side willing to back down. At last, an extraordinarily calm baritone muttered, "Perhaps you are."

"Qui-Gon!" Mace had been content to let them duke out their views and frustrations up to this point. But he could not allow this comment to go unheeded. The harsh authority in the dark Councilor's voice was enough to snap the group back to attention. 

Immediately, crystal eyes were downcast. Qui-Gon didn't know exactly what had come over him to challenge the Council so, but he did regret his insubordination. Clearing his throat, he apologized, "Forgive me Masters. I never meant to offend." Glancing around, felt the need to reiterate his feelings about their neutrality. "But I cannot abide by this decision to submit to their legalities. In the past, Jedi have always been tried by Jedi. And now we are ignoring the agreements we had previously simply to keep face with those that question us. Obi-Wan is just a boy and we are leaving him in the hands of ignorant fools."

Mace leaned forward, his hands steepling in front of him imploringly. "Qui-Gon, listen to me. I am not your enemy. I am your friend. But you must see that times have changed and so we must change as well. We permit them to hold their trial and then we may have ours. Once he is here and we have had sufficient time to explore this situation more carefully can we consider your request. It is not that we want to condemn Obi-Wan but if he has committed these crimes we cannot simply welcome him back with open arms. There are penalties that must be paid and he will pay for them if necessary. If he is found innocent then his chances are even greater for being readmitted. But we will not be able to make that determination until after the Republic has finished their trial."

Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon muttered softly, "Once again you cast aside a gem because it is encased in stone." The talk with Bant resurfaced in his mind. In their talk they had referred to Obi-Wan's life being disturbed when a stone was castaway. The ripple effect from the displacement had skewed Obi-Wan's course to where he was currently. By the end of their analogy, Obi-Wan had become that stone. And now he assumed a new theory regarding the rogue. That he was a diamond in the rough. That he was a rare stone that had been tossed among the rubble. And his time in the dirt may have tarnished the surface, the beauty inside remained unflawed. 

Taking another deep breath, his steady gaze returned to take in the two senior members. "I have learned my lesson. I see that you have not learned yours. Forgive me Masters, I see now that my efforts here are wasted. I have things I must do and I will not keep you from your duties any longer. May the Force be with you." Curtly he bowed and abruptly left, leaving a quiet Council behind. 

After the doors slid closed behind the man, Yoda closed his eyes and placed his chin on top of his hands and gimmer stick. In a tone so soft that only the dark master next to him could hear, he mumbled, "Mistakes we have made. And mistakes continue to make we do."

*

Disgusted with the results with the Council, Qui-Gon was hastily making his way through the halls of the Temple to head out in to the megalopolis beyond. The meeting had not gone nearly as well as he hoped, but he should have expected it. After he had informed them of Obi-Wan's appearance, there was already a sense of uncertainty that could be fel from the ruling body. So opposition to his request could only be anticipated. He just didn't think that it would be virtually shot down all together. Deciding to worry about this frustration later, Qui-Gon found himself on the main level. Almost out, he heard a voice call out to him, "Master Jinn. Master Jinn, a word please."

In truth he didn't want to be bothered right now. But he could not ignore the person either. So he stopped and turned to found a woman not in the robes and attire of a Jedi but in the crisp uniform of the Coruscant Security Force. He recognized her immediately, "Yes, Official Martorana."

Fama Martorana had just finished interviewing a few of the children. She was about to call in the next child when she spotted the elusive Knight walking down the hall. In her haste, she snagged his attention. She strode up to the tall man and spoke plainly. "I was wondering if you would spare a moment of your time for me."

"Of course," he bowed slightly before adding, "but we will have to be quick. I have an appointment I must get to." On his way down from the Council Tower he stopped briefly at a public comm terminal to contact an old acquaintance. He left a short message with the receptionist who told him that he could be squeezed in but time was scarce. He didn't want to delay his meeting longer than necessary.

"It should only take a moment," she assured. Together the pair moved into one of the small meeting rooms on the lower levels. Once inside, she addressed him, "Master Jinn, I would first like to say how displeased I am with your methods at the Center. We have restrictions placed for a reason and to break those boundaries is uncalled for."

"In most cases, I agree with you Official. But I feared I had very little time to waste. Taking the extra time to contact the proper authorities in order to obtain the Clearance Code would have taken too long. Obi-Wan needed me and I could not delay any longer, no matter the reason. Rest assured that it will not happen again." Qui-Gon spoke with as much sincerity as he could. He never intentionally went to the Center to bypass their procedures, he was merely frustrated with the fact that he was denied the chance to be with Obi-Wan and they were still preventing him when he arrived. Otherwise, he doubt there would have been an issue. 

Intently peering up at the Knight, Fama could see that he was regretting his actions so she let him off lightly, "Be sure that it doesn't. Now, you are the last person I need a statement from."

"I must apologize, but I do not have time to give you a full report right now. However, I would be happy to do so tomorrow morning. Perhaps we could meet at the Center, as I would very much like to be with Obi-Wan as much as possible. And it will still be a few hours before he is removed from the tank. That should give us ample time to talk." Qui-Gon hoped she would accept this gesture of compromise. 

He was relieved at her nod. "I think that would be possible." Fama smiled at him recognizing the fact that he was doing his best to accommodate her. A sparkle lit his sky blue eyes for a moment and she realized this was the first time she had seen any other emotion in him other than stern haste.

A small mirk played at the edge of his lips as he pointed out, "Of course, I would need the Clearance Code then."

Her grin broadened at the hint of mild humour. Fama provided, "Capa Gamma 715."

"Thank you." He was about to leave when he remembered something that still weighed heavily on his heart. The thoughts of Obi-Wan in the Center and on the journey back to Coruscant flared in his memory causing the frown to return. He began softly, "Miss Martorana I do have one more favour to ask of you before I leave," he looked her in the eye, "the collar."

She sighed, anticipating this question. "Yes, Master Jinn, I know you have been vying for its removal. And I'll tell you now, it won't be possible. It's protocol." Fama Martorana had been with the RSC for 25 years and a Commanding Official for 11 of those years. She knew all the procedures and regulations like the back of her hand. There was no way she could accommodate his request. 

Qui-Gon attempted to appeal to her sense of compassion, "When Obi-Wan is removed from the Bacta tank, his injuries will be mostly healed, but he will not be completely restored to health. With a full suppression collar on, it will not be possible to administer Jedi Healing techniques to care for the remaining infirmities. If nothing else, permit him to be free of it for some time so that his treatment may continue."

Fama considered his words carefully. Her superiors would not approve of the prisoner's freedom for any length of time. They would not want the rogue to escape before the trial or use his powers against them. But one thing he said did offer some insight. It was a loophole that she could exploit and felt it might help with some of the friction between the groups. "I do not have the authority to allow him time free from the collar. However, I do have one offer. You can either take it or leave it."

"And what would that be?"

"Instead of a full Suppression Collar, I am authorized to switch it for a restraint Suppression Collar. He would not be able to use his skills but you or another Jedi would be able to assist him. I know I probably shouldn't be offering you this option considering your stance on the subject. But I know your name. I have heard enough about you to know you will not abuse this privilege. So I feel safe enough to give you this option. I only offer it once though. Make a decision here and now and it will be done." She waited patiently for his answer. She didn't have to wait long.

"I have been in the field long enough to recognize even the tiniest of victories. I accept the offer and would like the collar switched as soon as Obi-Wan emerges." Qui-Gon bowed slightly in acquiescence. It was not exactly what he was hoping for but it was better than the alternative. 

"We have an accord, Master Jinn. I will meet you in the Center tomorrow." She nodded.

"Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me." Qui-Gon walked over to the doorway and motioned her out. She complied and went back to finish her interviews with the children. Qui-Gon's pace quickened as he left the confines of the Temple.

*

The sun was setting on the Cityplanet. So many of its inhabitants were too busy to enjoy the beauty of nature. Not that there was much left to behold. The world had shifted into an industrialized jungle over the course of progress and held a different type of beauty now. Although, one man stood staring out the picturesque window of his office to look out at the colourful glory of night's descent. There he waited, wondering what the future would bring. A light tone alerted him to the arrival of a guest. He could hear the soft hiss of the door as it opened to admit the man. Without turning, he greeted, "It's been a long time friend."

Gentle baritone answered sounding a bit distanced, "Too long." A sigh followed. "And I wish that my visit were under better circumstances, but I need your help, old friend."

"I figured as much when I got your message." Guillaume se Tavis turned to regard the Jedi. He smiled as he motioned for his companion to sit. He moved behind his desk to slip into a cushioned chair. Don't worry about it, Qui. I went ahead and took the liberty of getting as much information as I could and already started to review the case." He picked up a datapad on his desk to emphasize his point.

"I knew I could count on you, Gi. You are one of the best barristers in the Republic." Qui-Gon had yet to take a seat, still quite anxious to find out what they could do for Obi-Wan.

The man chuckled at the compliment, shaking his head. "I wouldn't go that far. I'm good but I'm not a miracle worker. This case is not going to be easy," he said as he leaned forward. "There's already a lot of evidence here to convict him for life, if not death. I think we may have a few angles we could exploit but there really isn't much hope."

This was not the news he was expecting. Actually, quite the opposite. Qui-Gon had come here with the idea that Guillaume would be able to find all the loopholes and get Obi-Wan back into Jedi custody by the time the trial was over. Now it seemed as if that might not happen. He realized that much of the information regarding the Pirate's activity may be skewed. In an instant he went on the defensive. "He is not a brutal murderer. It was an act of defense. You must make them see this. He needs to be released to the Jedi. Only we can deal with him appropriately."

"I will do everything in my power, Qui, I promise. But I can't say that he'll be absolved of all penalties. I've already heard some rumors. From what I was able to confirm, it looks like Sano Sauro will be heading up the prosecution." When he saw no reaction in his friend's face he continued, "Sauro is rather vocal in his disapproval of the Jedi. He has taken every case that involves one of you for the mere fact that he is trying to discredit the Order. Right now, everything I've been handed feeds his case. If we're not careful, it's quite possible Obi-Wan will be made an example of." Qui-Gon slid into the seat as Gi spoke. 

He was a little dumbstruck. This is what the Council had been trying to tell him. He knew that now. They had been trying to prepare him for the worst and he condemned them for it. He felt his actions were still justified to a point, but he was not aware that the situation was far beyond what he believed. And Obi-Wan was caught in the middle. "But we cannot allow that to happen," he said hastily.

"I know," Gi sympathized, "but we have to consider that he may have to serve some sort of punishment. If we work it right, he won't face capital punishment, but he may be locked up for a number of years." He knew that this possibility would not sit well with his friend, but he knew the man needed to hear the truth. And from where Gi sat, this was a very real outcome they had to consider.

Qui-Gon leaned back and covered his face with his hand. He had believed that somehow the Force would have provided them some means to avoid this and he was shocked to find it come up short. A hushed voice full of tumbling emotions made it past the covered face. "We do not have that kind of time. His last chance to return to the Jedi is now. If he is incarcerated he will never become the Knight he was meant to be."

Compassionately, he watched his friend's inner turmoil. He felt helpless to ease the troubled mind, lack of anything else to do he shrugged, beseeching, "I don't know what else to tell you. I will do everything I can for him, but you must accept this possibility."

For long moments, neither moved. Finally, Qui's hand slid down and he propped his chin against a loose fist. His gaze stared off into nothing as he searched for an answer. Finding none, over and over again, he finally relented, suddenly feeling extremely exhausted. "I am sorry. I know you will do what you can. And I would not want you to compromise your position. Please let me know if I can be of any assistance to you." Guillaume was actually next in line for an arbitrator's position and many of his cases were in-depth and very high profile. Qui-Gon knew he didn't need to take this case, but was doing so for their friendship. He was already putting much of his career on the line for Obi-Wan's sake. And if it ever came to a point where it was obvious that they were trying to manipulate the system both the Jedi and Guillaume could find a heap of trouble. 

Yet his friend tried to give him some kind of hope that it could somehow work out. "You know I will. The trial has already been set to start in two days. They feel he should be recovered enough by then. All I can tell you right now is to let me work this out while you go back and rest. You look like you're dead on your feet. Obi-Wan will need your support through this. And you'll need your strength as well." Qui-Gon nodded, heart and soul numbed. Virtually everything he had hoped for had been shot down systematically. The Council denied their aide, the collar was not going to be removed – although his small accomplishment there brought some solace – and now it looked as if Obi-Wan would pay for the mistakes of the entire Order as well as the Pirates. Slowly, he rose from his seat. 

Guillaume mirrored him. "Try not to worry. You never know how things will turn out." It wasn't much of a comfort but he couldn't let his friend go without anything to hold on to. They bid their farewells and Qui-Gon headed back to the Center with much on his mind.

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Sorry for the delay, I had a hard time filling out the chap. But some pestering on TF.N finally made me sit down and finish it today. ;) Thanks guys. :D as always, this post would not be nearly as good if not for my beautiful Betas!! :D You rock girls!!!!!

Anyway, your feedback is always welcome and appreciated!! And as always thanks for reading!! You're continued support has helped me work through the roughest spots and shine. :D Thanks. 

K-Rock – LOL, I'm always afraid to write. Some parts are just scarier than others! And you think this is Obi-Torture?? Wow, I was thinking this is much more on the lines of Angst. Although there are references to Obi-Torture. Aww, who am I kidding, any Obi-Suffering is great for me!! ;) I like the little twist in RH. I hope to see more soon. Sorry I haven't really gotten back to you on it. Been kinda busy. :8} I'm hoping once this portion of the FnB saga is done, I can rest for a bit and take care of a few other things I'm working on. :D Catch ya later!!

Fudge – Well, I am so happy to hear you liked it. I thought in his childlike need Obi would seek out a strong and steady guide to ease his suffering. We will have to see if it helps them rebuild a foundation when the time comes, or only causes more trouble for our favourite pair. ;) Thanks!!!

Nat – Of course I knew. I'm one with the Force. :p LOL. Well, maybe on a subconscious level. ;) Anyway, Yeah, Obi-Angst totally rocks! I love it. I need it. I can't live without it! And I'm not kidding!! Hehe. I hope you liked this chap. Not as exciting but definitely poignant. Thanks for sticking with me. :D

Delphine Pryde – I know, I know. I think I'm gonna make a bumper sticker that says 'Poor Obi' on it. Because I think we all use it at least once a week. ;) LOL.

YLJedi – Yeah, Ja has really come along since I first introduced him. Sometimes I find it amazing which characters end up becoming more prominent as the story progresses. Quite often it is not who I expected. Thanks for the vote of confidence and the e-mail. I appreciate them both. I'm sure you might say I didn't need to worry about anything, but I still feel the scene was lacking. Well, no use crying over it now. It didn't scare me away, but it sure gave me a run for my money. ;) All I ever hope for is that who ever reads my work and likes it lets me know. That way I feel that all the work I put into it is worthwhile. I have tons of stories in my head. I can go over them all the time. But there's little joy when I'm the only one who gets to 'read' them. That's why I share. A story is meant to be read, and not just by the person who managed to convince the muse to let them jot it down. ;) And don't worry about the end. Hmmm, ok worry about the end of _this _fic but it's no where near the end of the WHOLE story. ;) Just keep those eyes peeled. :D Thanks again!!

Amazed – Thanks. :D I've barely looked at slash. Not that I've never read any just that it's not really my choice of ff. I'm more of an Obi-Torture person. But then I wandered into the realm of Angst and stayed there ever since! *snicker* I love toying with emotions (if you couldn't tell, hehe) afterall, humans are definitely a curious lot. Our emotions rule our rational mind and sway our beliefs and impassion us into action. If we are to believe that the character we play around with in SW are even close to what we consider reality, they need to express the same emotional flaws as us or we just don't buy it. That's what makes writing them so much fun. I get to look into their minds and figure out how they would react to the situation. It teaches you a lot and gives you wonderful perspectives. As for what you might have stumbled upon, you can always e-mail me questions. I have no problem discussing things privately. ;) Thanks. I have always felt we there is always room for improvement. But I am very flattered that you couldn't find anything constructive to say. It makes me feel like I am satisfying my readers needs as much as my own. ;) Thanks!

LOTRFaith – Yeah, I sometimes forget to mention the Fave thing. I know I'm bad and don't really put a lot on it. So I know I am guilty of neglecting it too. :8} Thanks for all the lovely comments!! It can be hard on people sometimes when things hit too close to home. I know it's happened to me on occasion, so I completely understand. Ahh there's that phrase again, 'Poor Obi.' I hear it so often. Wonder why?? hehe. I hope to get back to Obi and start getting back into his thoughts and such soon. But it's very difficult to try revealing everyone's thoughts at the same time. I think it overwhelmed me for a bit and threw off my writing. But now that I'm trying to take things one step at a time again, it's really helped my muse. We'll just have to see how things turn out for our fav Master-Padawan team. Thanks again for reading and everything!! 

Review, review! Or tell me you liked it or hated it, whatever. I'm always open to your thoughts and suggestions!! Thanks for reading!! :D


	28. Chapter 27: Rude Awakenings

Chapter 27: Rude Awakenings

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The galaxy is vast far beyond comprehension. But for what it is, it still knows the frailties of life and death. Stars like all living things are born and die. Deaths ranging from huge blasts to silent vortexes that create leaching voids in an angry attempt to drag the rest of existence with it. The cycle of life continued as he watched on. Stars flared into being all over the dark canopy, but there was one that seemed to catch his attention. He didn't know why it had, it was bright but not overly so. Its size was average. The colouration no different than any other, yet there was something_ about it that kept him fascinated._

Entranced by this particular ball of fire, he did not notice the tragedy to unfold until it was too late. He wanted to scream - shout a warning to the star but nothing escaped him. He would be a silent witness to the story that played before him. From no where a sinister comet hurtled toward his_ star. And he was powerless to stop it. Suddenly a brilliant explosion made him cover his eyes. When he was able to look back again, he was surprised to see the ripple effect that the collision caused. It was almost as if the entire universe were being reflected on the surface of a glass pond._

His mind pondered this only for a heartbeat as he thought he heard a scream in his mind. Instantly, he searched for his star. A sigh of relief escaped him when he saw that it was not destroyed, although he could see that it had not gone unharmed as well. The light was so much dimmer than before, as if it clung onto life by a strand. Somehow, it slowly rebuilt itself, gaining strength again. But it was all in vane.

Apparently the fates were not finished tormenting this star. Other comets came to bombard the fading light. Constant assault denied it time to recover. He could take no more of this cruelty. Closing his eyes, he summoned all the energy he could muster, stretched out his hand and screamed with all his might. 'STOP!' He was shocked to realize how much the effort exhausted him, but at least when he opened his eyes he was rewarded to see no more streaks of chaos hurling toward the star. But the attack had taken its toll. The star barely flickered with life. But even that dim light shone starkly in the night's sky.

It was then that he realized that everything around the star had been obliterated. Leaving it alone in a void of solitude. Even without catalysts it seemed as though the darkness spread through out the rest of the galaxy, snuffing out thousands upon thousands of stars. As it grew closer to him, he could sense the foul evil that lingered just beneath the surface. Still his star struggled for survival in the midst of this darkness. The wavering light twinkled precariously and his heart ached for the pain it must have been enduring to remain lit.

He could tell time passed, but if asked he could not say how much. In the vastness of space a century could be a minute, a millennium a day. Time was not as strict a judge here. He continued to obsess over his star. As time drew on, he could see that the soft glow was growing stronger once more. The change was so subtle he didn't even realize it at first. That's when it hit him. The star was carefully calculating its recovery. Purposefully keeping the change as miniscule as possible so as not to draw the attention of the darkness. Then when it gained enough strength, it would flare briefly and another stare was born. It continued to refill the void that surrounded him. Soon, its ministrations could no longer be ignored.

The evil night had taken notice and raged at the fact that the star defied it. The darkness turned its attention on the star tormenting it. Still the star pressed on reviving the galaxy little by little. When it seemed like nothing would stop the star, the darkness desperately tried to get rid of it. But neither side would give up readily. In the end it concentrated all it's remaining energy on the star. It had wanted to make the star suffer for its defiance. And even though it accomplished that miniscule satisfaction, the star was now ready to go and accepted its end. It had accomplished what it was meant to do. In an instant the darkness shattered the star and dispersed its light, never to shine again.

He cried out in protest but to no avail. It was over. The star was gone but the galaxy survived, no longer subject of the evil that tried to devour it. But to him, it would never be the same again now that his star was gone.

He had no idea when he actually nodded off, but his abrupt reemergence into the waking world was far less subtle. He jerked in the seat he had taken up home in. Flittering images still danced across him mind. The remnants of thoughts and feelings accompanying those pictures. But with each passing heart beat, he released the dream's hold, allowing it to fade from memory as he summoned what he felt was more important to mind. His gaze automatically went to the Bacta tank in the corner, the lone frail figure floating inside. He rubbed his face to wipe away the residual sleepiness before getting up and stretching. His body did not appreciate his choice of bed, but he knew he would survive.

Slowly, Qui-Gon made his way over to the young man in the tank. He stopped mere inches from the glass. He watched the sleeping boy for some time. Drifting on the plains of memory, he recalled the young initiate he pushed away and how they had found him again. It was unbelievable to know that only 72 hours ago, they all still believed he was dead. But now, not only was he alive but he was back on Coruscant, with him. The coolness of the transparent material always amazed him. His fingers slowly slid down the surface of the tank. When it got too low, he brought it back up to the level of Obi-Wan's face. Mentally, his hand touched the smooth cheek just beyond. He stayed that way for a long time.

It was only the light clearing of a throat that brought him back to reality. Turning he saw Fama Martorana standing in the doorway, tentatively waiting for him to acknowledge her. He did so with a small nod and she came over to him. "Good morning, Miss Martorana."

"Morning, Master Jinn. I hope I'm not disturbing you at all?"

"No," he answered a bit absently. "I was just thinking." His gaze moved back to stare at Obi-Wan.

"You did say I could meet you here this morning, I was wondering if you could give me that report now." She didn't really want to sound so indifferent about her visit, but she did have a purpose for being here. She watched the Knight as he nodded again and moved away from the tank to face her.

"Yes, I am ready." The two discussed many things then. She listened carefully and jotted many things on her datapad. During their conversation attendants and Healers would come and go, apparently readying for the boy's emergence. When all questions were asked and the official visit was finally over, the room fell into an uncomfortable silence. Qui-Gon was no longer looking at her but back at the boy. Not really knowing what else to do, she stood beside him and did the same.

This young man was a curiosity to her. She had taken many reports about the events that led them to this point and she was shocked at how different they all were. The facts, of course, were relatively the same. But the perceptions and feelings about the matter were so drastic and conflicting she didn't know what to make of it. She still could not comprehend how one person could cause such different reactions. "It's hard to believe."

The man beside her shifted slightly, then asked, "What is hard to believe?"

Half-embarrassed, she didn't realize she said the thought aloud. Knowing that his question warranted an answer, she trudged on ahead. "Just the fact that this young man has somehow effected so many people in so many different ways. The mix is astounding. Most all of the Jedi had nothing but admirable things to say about him. Even to the youngest initiate I spoke with. While most of the crew seemed to be split. The one pilot though along with some of his friends seemed to be adamant the boy was evil incarnate. And I find your own report quite interesting. It's actually very similar to your Councilor Master Gallia. You both seem to relate what happened without judgement. But I can tell there's a difference. When you say his name or mention him directly, your voice softens."

He shifted again, obviously uncertain as how to accept this observation. "I had not realized."

She smiled. "It's not a bad thing, Master Jinn. Actually, I like it. Of course, it puts me in a predicament."

"May I ask how so?"

"I've been in the CSF for most of my working career. You generally have two kinds of criminals. Those that are guilty and those that are innocent. You can usually tell which ones are innocent because their loved ones fight for them harder. And those that are guilty you're glad to lock away. My job is a lot easier when I can believe what I'm doing is for the benefit of the galaxy. I've only had a couple of cases, this one especially, where I feel that the outcome may not be the correct course of action. I would like to believe in Griven's testimony and put a vicious criminal behind powerful shields. But with what so many have already said as well as your own feelings, I'm thinking that this case will not be so cut and dry. I guess I'm a little apprehensive now to meet this young man. Will I fall under his spell as everyone else has?"

"There's no avoiding it, you know," a new voice entered the conversation. Both started and turned to greet the arrival. "Once you've met him, your life will change forever." He addressed the Knight directly. "I just spoke with the Healer on duty, they will be in shortly to take Obi-Wan out."

"Thank you, Ja." The Jedi smiled his gratitude.

"No problem, I'm just glad I was able to get back here in time." Ja Kohnwei made his way over to the pair. Now that he said what he wanted to say, he went back to their conversation, "You have good cause to worry," he told Fama.

"That doesn't bold well for me then, does it?" She smirked.

"No, but you learn to accept it and even welcome it in the end. But I'm rather surprised to see you here. Is there something wrong?" Ja easily took up the conversation allowing Qui-Gon to take a back seat.

"No, but I did promise something to Master Jinn."

He prompted, "And that would be what exactly?"

Her hand went down to her belt and removed an item, holding it up she said, "I promised to swap collars. It isn't much but it was the only thing I could get cleared."

Ja glanced over at Qui-Gon briefly and noticed the man flinch before slipping back into the Jedi façade. "But this will allow them to use Jedi healing techniques now to finish up what the Bacta started, right?" His voice a little more expectant than he intended.

"As far as I know."

"Thank you Miss Martorana for being so thorough." Qui-Gon's voice was considerably subdued as compared to before. She could see that he appreciated what she was doing but it still weighed heavily on his heart.

"Don't thank me yet, Master Jinn. It may be better than what he has but it is still a collar."

"I don't think you have to remind Qui-Gon of that fact, Official." Ja's tone darkened slightly as he stepped closer to the man in an almost protective manner. "He has thought of nothing else since that damned thing was put on. But he does appreciate your help," he added curtly. Ja could see the turmoil in the crystal gaze and decided to save the man the effort of speaking. He looked apologetically toward the taller man, hoping the Jedi wouldn't mind. To his relief he saw mild gratitude in his eyes.

Taken a little off guard by the Healer's sudden change, she fell back into her role. Her tone now lacked many of the emotions she expressed earlier. Glaring at the man, she asked, "And may I ask what you are even doing here Healer Kohnwei? I did not realize you were so familiar with Kenobi."

"He is my patient, Official. I have taken care of him since the crash. As his Healer it is both my duty and pleasure to be here for him when he comes out."

"I would have thought that he was no longer under your care once he was taken into custody."

"Due to certain circumstances, my abilities were _required_ to tend him." He admitted remembering the fight he had to put up in order to help the youth on Onderon. That seemed to end their discussion for the moment as she turned away from him to look at the tank in the corner. His gaze also followed suit. Once again his thoughts were consumed by this strange young man. Most of the night he sat up talking with his wife about the day's events. She had been worried, and rightly so. But he felt it wise to play down some of the more dangerous aspects. He was holding his son who had fallen asleep in his lap in the late hours.

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"And this Obi-Wan was one of the Pirates?" she had asked him. He nodded. _"And now he's your patient? I don't get it."_ He answered her by saying, _"You would if you met him."_ Yes, he had tried to explain how the rogue was more than a mere pirate, but not having met Obi-Wan she just didn't see how he could feel that way. He then said, "He is special," both in his memory and aloud. The other two looked at him but before anyone could say anything, a team of Healers came in.

The trio watched on silently as they worked to remove Obi-Wan from the tank. Being Healers, their skilled and careful movements quickly had him out and were soon cleaning and changing him. They laid him on a sleep couch when they were finished, muttered a few words to Kohnwei and then left. Apparently, they believed he was in charge of the youth and felt it best to talk to one of their own. In the meantime, Qui-Gon had stealthily moved over to the boy's side and quickly slipped his hand in the smaller one. When the troupe was gone, Ja stood on the opposite side of the Jedi. Official Martorana came up to stand at his shoulder.

Still not uttering a word, they looked down at the slumbering form. He was still very pale and barely stood out against the clean white sheets and medtunic he had on. Ja took a quick assessment of what he could see and grunted his approval before reaching down to open the boy's tunic. He wanted to get a closer look at that blaster wound now that he was out of the Bacta. He heard a soft gasp behind him. Over the past day, the Healer had grown accustomed to the boy's physique and appearance, it wasn't nearly as ghastly as before now that the bruises were gone. And the boy looked rather thin as well. But he was positive that the scars that were visible are what caught her attention. She quickly recovered though.

Fama couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her. In her report, she knew that Obi-Wan Kenobi would be turning eighteen in the next few weeks so to see the remnants of abuse on his body took her off guard. Once while she was working in the mid rim, they had boarded a vessel on a minor violation but soon discovered it as a front for a slave transport. The condition of the people trapped inside was appalling, but she soon became familiar with the scars of a hard life. And it was that knowledge that plagued her now as she stared at the rogue. Pale thin white lines crisscrossed his torso, and she could see that more wrapped around his ribs from his back. There were other marks she couldn't be sure the cause but her musing was interrupted by the calm tenor of the Healer.

"It looks like the Bacta did its job. I can't find any residual bruises, the blaster wound is almost healed but you can help finish with that Qui-Gon." His hands continued to probe the youth's abdomen. Even in sleep Obi-Wan grimaced. "And it seems as though its also taken care of the internal bleeding. He should be well on the road to recovery." Qui-Gon visibly relaxed at the news. They could see him squeeze the hand gently in reassurance.

"That's good to hear," Fama muttered, "if I heard correctly, they will be releasing him by the end of today. I already scheduled some of my men to collect him."

"You people are truly amazing." Ja shook his head in disbelief doing his best not to let his anger consume him. "You have no idea what this young man has been put through. He's only just had his wounds tended to and you are all so eager to lock him away. I guess I should at least _thank_ you for allowing him to get treated before putting him on the butcher's block."

"I don't take pleasure in putting him through any more aggravation, but he is our prisoner and he will not be afforded any special treatment." She defended herself at the accusation of being heartless. For some reason it really bothered her this time. "He is still a criminal and must face his punishment." The Healer was about to protest some more when another voice filtered into the conversation.

It was quiet and raspy but definitely grabbed their attention. "It's ok. I don't deserve… anything more." He swallowed trying to get some moisture back in his throat. The mouthpiece needed for Bacta immersion always left him overly dry and scratchy. "It's why… I came back," he forced out. "Hiding… is only delaying… the inevitable." The whole time Qui-Gon tried to still him, but Obi-Wan ignored it. At last his body refused to work with him and he began coughing. Ja immediately rushed to fetch him water. He carefully placed it to the boy's lips and let him sip it slowly.

"Now you just take it easy. You still need a lot of rest."

Obi-Wan swallowed down the refreshing liquid and closed his eyes. "I can rest in a cell." There was no accusation in his voice just acceptance. The others stood there stunned, they didn't know what to say to that. Instead of waiting for a response, Obi-Wan took a deep breath, opened his eyes and forced himself into a sitting position. It was a Herculean effort but he made it, but not without difficulty. He pulled his hand from Qui-Gon's grip and pressed it against the phantom wound in his side. It may have been virtually healed but it still ached.

The Healer's senses finally kicked in and he promptly chastised. "What do you think you're doing?" He realized his question was echoed by the Knight's baritone. Both men were not happy with the rogue's actions.

"Official Martorana," a hint of uncertainty in his voice implying he was trying to recall the name from memory, "is right. I'm a criminal and it's time to stop coddling me." As he spoke, he swung his legs over the side of the medcouch.

"Coddling? You could have died!" He thought he was used to the boy's sense of worthlessness by now, but this just took the cake.

"Obi-Wan, you're wellbeing is important to us." Qui-Gon attempted to diffuse the tension. "But Ja is correct, you are still too weak to be doing this. You only just emerged, you should rest for a few hours before even trying to get up."

"I don't want to sit around the Healer's waiting." The cultured voice had gotten a lot stronger in the past few minutes but it was still very soft and coarse. "I would rather get this over with as quickly as possible."

"Mister Kenobi, you're trial doesn't begin until tomorrow. I think you can take it easy for the moment." Fama interjected.

Ja's smile did nothing to hide his annoyance. "So there, now lie back down." Instead of following the command, Obi-Wan slid off the couch. His legs buckled but Qui-Gon was there to catch him. Automatically, he reached for the bed and pulled himself from the Knight's hold. He was determined to stand on his own. "You are the most stubborn person I have ever known. You're just going to land yourself back in here if you keep this up."

"What difference does it make?" Obi-Wan finally grumbled back.

"Young man, we did not go through all this effort just so you can mess yourself up again." Ja said disapprovingly. At that a small smirk lighted on the boy's features. It was both heartwarming and sad at the same time. The way the man spoke reminded him of one of those he had to say good-bye to.

Shaking his head lightly, he spoke the thought aloud. "You really do remind me of Naaur. You two would have gotten along really well."

Some of his anger dispersed at the sight of that smirk. His tone no longer as hostile as before, he still continued to reprimand, "Well, maybe you can arrange a meeting later, but right now I want your butt back in that bed."

Sympathetically, he looked up at the man. "I'm sorry, but I can't." The group fell into a melancholy reticence as they watched him struggle with his weary body. Obi-Wan began walking around the bed, but a few steps later his leg gave out again. The elder Jedi quickly came to his aid and Obi-Wan was thankful for it. It was then that he looked up at the man questioningly. He seemed to be quieter than usual, and he could not contain his sudden curiosity. "Master? Is something wrong?"

Qui-Gon was not expecting to be questioned so directly. At first he didn't want to answer. Sighing, he knew that he could not avoid this subject. "I have failed you, child." The confusion in the young face only grew.

"I don't understand."

"I promised that you would be free of that collar once we landed on Coruscant, but I have thus far been unable to effect that." His voice was pained to know he could not deliver on his promise. To his surprise, Obi-Wan reached up to place a hand on the man's arm.

"Master Qui-Gon, I never expected you to win that battle, but I am grateful for your efforts." The man was genuinely touched by the rogue's acceptance, but he could still not forgive himself.

At this point in time, Fama felt she could step back into the conversation. "His efforts were not all in vane. I have not received clearance to have the collar removed, but I am able to switch it from a total suppression collar to a restraint collar. We can do that any time you are ready." She held up the collar she had for him to see.

A thousand and one emotions swept through him, revealed in only the sea-change eyes that captured people's hearts. He didn't know what to say, what to think, what to feel. It was a step forward without actually taking a step. It was a weird kind of compromise and it seemed so surreal to him. Obi-Wan regarded her for a moment longer before turning back to the Knight. "You didn't fail me, Master. You achieved more than I ever expected."

He added quietly, looking down at his hand resting on the cream sleeve. "You know, I had hoped you failed because I wanted to hate you. It would be easier for me to hate you than myself. But I realize now that I would only be fooling myself. You are a Jedi. And there is a reason I wished I was still one of them. It's because of Jedi like you, Master Tahl, Bant, Tola and so many others that I can proudly admit I was once among you. But to do so would tarnish the name of Jedi. So I am content to know it in my heart. You've done your best, Master Qui-Gon. And you have my gratitude."

"Obi-Wan, I…." He was at a loss for words. This quiet understanding that was given voice touched his very soul. Qui-Gon stared into the clearing oceans, lost in the waves of absolution he saw there. But his heart was too heavy. He had already let the boy down so much, this small victory only solidified how incapable he was. It was bitter sweet and he could not find joy in it.

Obi-Wan patted his arm and then turned back to the Official. "If you please, we may make the switch now."

Fama walked over to the waiting young man. With a special key she touched it to his collar which immediately popped open. That moment was incredible. Obi-Wan gasped for air as if he had just surfaced from water after being down too long, gulping down deep breaths. In that moment he was brought back to life. His face looked fuller, healthier. An inner glow emitted from him. The colourless pallor of his skin flushed.

For his part, it was just as miraculous. Obi-Wan could feel the wondrous sensation of the Force wash over him. It was as if he were in a cast, feeling nothing but the wrapping and the weight of its burden. And then it is removed and all the senses that have been deprived suddenly flood with feeling again. And that is exactly how he felt. The soft gentle murmur of the Force shouted to him. It was almost deafening after the silence but it was not unwelcomed. He could feel those around him. Qui-Gon's presence was bright in his mind, as well as Kohnwei's. Many others could be felt along with their emotions. He could feel it all, the despair, the hope, the love, the sadness. It was as if the dam had broken and the waters of life crashed through him.

His body welcomed it all. Invigorating him with its loving power and giving strength to his weary form. How much he had missed its presence. He had closed his eyes upon the initial rush but now that the swell was beginning to abate, he opened them again. His gaze quickly sought the Knight's. And to Qui-Gon's delight, the murky oceans were no longer mired by pain, fear, confusion or loss, but laughed and sparkled with joy. A broad smile graced his features and Qui-Gon mirrored it.

But not all were enjoying this moment, Fama stood back her heart squeezing inside her chest. For the first time in her career she was afraid to do her duty. The instant change in the youth was far beyond her comprehension. She had never really dealt with Force Sensitives before and this was her first real experience with suppression collars. The few times prisoners were dangerous enough to have them on, they were put on at the time of capture and she never had to really bother with them herself. She had heard about what the side effects could be but never could believe them. But now, now she knew the truth.

The transformation only proved that these things were the abomination that they were often called. The boy had looked so drained and lifeless before. Now he flourished with life and energy. Her courage was definitely failing. Her mind raced with questions, but one stood out particularly: _Would I sacrifice my career for one boy's sake?_ In all honesty, she wanted to say yes but she had no idea why. Eventually rationale started to win out, and before she lost the nerve again, she did what was expected of her.

Just as quickly as the gates were opened they were slammed shut again. A sharp click ground that fact home. But the abruptness of extremes made it too much for his system to handle. In the spans of a heartbeat darkness reclaimed him.

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I think I will forever be apologizing for my sporadic postings on this fic especially, but I can't help it. _I'm SORRY!!_ I never intend for these longer waits. But as I've said before and I'll say again, the more reviews I get the more encouraged are my muses!! hintcoughreviewcoughend hint

I would also like to mention that I love my wonderful muses and they'll never fully know how sorry I am to do this to them. Even through the adversity of a full e-mail box, they read and offered advice for this chap. Which was wonderful!! However, I just was not with pleased with the chapter as a whole. It may have gotten the points that I wanted across but I just felt it wasn't working exactly as I wanted it to. SOOOO, I scrapped the whole thing virtually (only a few lines here and there were re-used) and started from a blank page. So here you have what I have worked on for most of the day today. I hope you liked it! ;)

Now, on with my replies!! :D

Nat – You're still very sweet!! I still have a lot of room for improvement, but I thank you anyway. ;) Aye, me matey, I'm a Pirates fan too. :p It kinda just slipped in there at the end didn't it. Oh well, can't always manage to keep out the good quotes. Hehe. And thanks, I liked that analogy too. Thought it suited Obi to a T. Well, almost, but rather close anyway. Thanks again!! :D

LOTRFaith – LOL, yeah, I had to pick a 'bad guy' in the Council and with Piell's eyepatch he just looked sinister enough to fit the bill. ;) You'll just have to see how things pan out. Always in motion the future is. :p But I thank you for always reading and reviewing!! Makes me and my muses very happy. :D

k-rock – Yes, my dear I am! And you can't stop me. :p Hey if nothing else, the JA series did give us a few new good chars to play around with. And I thought it only fitting to let him lead up the opposition. Yes, I know, I'm an Obi-Torture-aholic. So sue me. And compared to the very first fic I ever wrote, this is _mild_! LOL. Now my methods are much more subtle and _prolonged_! evil grin Mwahahahaha. Oh sorry, that was the Sith in me trying to break out. hehe. Well, I'm glad you were able to find a way to read and then leave a review. I look forward to a number of people's responses so thanks for everything. And I can't wait for chap 5. I really am enjoying watching how my conept unfolds in your mind!! It makes it fun eventhough I already know much of what's going on. So keep it up and nudge my muses for me now and then to get more chaps done here. ;)

Fudge – Oh yeah, I figure I should try and appease the Qui fans out there even if he's not _my_ fave char. hehe. And I hear you, but I work in the Corporate world. This kinda garbage happens all the time, even if it's not on such a drastic level as this. Yoda's kinda feeling guilty, and hopefully if my Muse decided to work for a change we'll see why next chap. And I like uphill battles. They make the victories so much more satisfying, ne? Thanks!! :D

Kynstar – Silly, Thanks for the wonderful support! Both here and at tf.n, ;) I'm so happy that others enjoy the world I've created here. It makes all the hard work and trouble worth while!! :D Thanks!

starre – Awww, thanks. I love angst. It's my favourite type of story. I can never seem to get enough of it. So I don't bother trying to worry about anything else. But I was even more happy to know I wasn't the only one out there. So thank you for loving Angst too!! :D

YLJedi – If everything goes as planned the trial should begin after next post. So we'll see then if Qui can manage to gain custody of Obi. ]:) snicker hehe, I always love reading it when people look forward to more Obi-Angst/Torture. Makes me quite happy. Guillaume has a hard task ahead of him too. I've always had Gi in mind when I was developing this story. He's been around so long in my mind that he's already made his appearance before I could introduce him here. He debuted in the Epilogue for _Iedos Liberare_ as a Judge then. Which is where I originally intended him to be for this fic, but realized he would be better as the barister rather than the judge. It would compromise his position WAY too much to help Qui if he were the judge for the trial. So this works out better. But it will definitely be fun to see how his char grows. Thanks for reading!! :D

LT – Wow, thank you soo much. I have to admit I try not to let the SW aspect of overpower the story even though it is the Universe I primarily play in. ;) Thanks for taking the chance here!! :D

Thaliae – WOW!!! Oo That's just overly flattering, but Thanks!!! I've poured a lot, a LOT of myself into this particular work. I wanted it to be different and the best work I can do. From the looks of it, it seems like I'm accomplishing it on some level. ;) I've never pretended to be anything more than I am, so the EU comment really floored me. I would love to write professionally, but I know the genre I'm good at and really don't want to stray from it. So I'm content to write fan fic. hehe. Thank you so very much!! :D

Amazed – I'm so glad people were still happy with an 'Obi-less' chap. I was worried about it, but it was definitely information that needed to be shared. And I figured I should really give something to those Qui fans. ;) Hey, I resemble that remark! Err, I mean, _resent_ that remark, yeah. Oro. You got me, I will string it along for a while yet, but what would be the fun if I gave it to you all so quickly and easily. You wouldn't have an incredibly long and angsty fic otherwise, ne? lol. Thanks again!! :D

As always, if you made it this far, please leave a review!!!! Ariagato gozaimasu!! :D


	29. Chapter 28: The Last Straw

Chapter 28: The Last Straw

For a change, the return to consciousness was not a jarring experience. It was a gradual change from dark to light. But what was startling was the change of scenery. Glancing around, he took in the differences. The room was still painfully white and blank; however the room itself was much smaller. Turning his head, he could see a little sink in the corner and a mini fresher. Whatever he was lying on wasn't meant for the comfort of its occupants; it was flat and barely cushioned. Nothing else was in the room. He was alone.

He huffed lightly to himself, "Guess they moved me while I was out." As a follow up to that question, he wondered,_ How long was I out?_ His body was still aching although it was considerably dulled now. If his assumptions were correct, Qui-Gon made use of the change none-the-less. The man must have helped his body cope with his phantom injuries as well as the effects of the collar. His mind kept the image of the tall Jedi at the forefront. He found it so unfair. Qui-Gon was the catalyst that sent him into the pain-filled existence under Drrov. Tuuvu managed to bring him back. And as much as he loved and thanked his surrogate father for all his help, there was still a long buried and deep desire to be the Jedi's apprentice.

But with the odds against them ever meeting again, he was content to just hate the man for what happened to him. It was rather petty but it brought him some sense of comfort. The fact that somehow even against those horrible odds, fate had brought them together again was disconcerting. He had always assumed that the man would have long forgotten about him, even if he himself could not. So it was shocking to know that the Knight recognized him so quickly. As their 'adventure' (Obi didn't know what else to call it) continued, he was more surprised to discover that not only was the man able to identify him, but had also thought about him quite often and that he made a mistake.

__

A mistake. An error. A blunder. A misjudgment. Was that all he was to the universe? Could it be that somehow fate was defied and sent him down the wrong path? He just didn't know. And thinking about it too much was giving him a headache. So he stopped and thought about different things, like Tuuvu and his family. Suddenly he was unbearably homesick. Whenever he was down, he could always count on Tuuvu, Jorri, Mrrogh or Liior to give him a hug. He always loved their hugs. Not only were they always what he needed but because of their soft fur it was extremely comforting and soothing. He really longed for one of those now. Instead, he could only hope for the chance to see them one more time before the end.

His headache was getting worse. Those thoughts had done nothing except fuel his throbbing head. Giving up, he decided not to think at all. But when you are alone with nothing else but your thoughts and no desire to sleep, what else was there to do?

Yet it was something more sinister that shredded his attempts. _"Bauudi."_ The voice said. Immediately, Obi-Wan shot up. His eyes, wide and searching for something he almost feared more than failure. His breathing had become shallow and rapid.

In the stillness of his cell, he begged, "Please, not again."

__

"Weakling child, you can't escape me." Obi-Wan clenched his eyes shut, hoping that he could banish the voice by sheer will-power. But the voice was created by sterner stuff than that. It snapped, _"How dare you? You belong to me. You will _always_ belong to me. You may have enjoyed the thought of me gone, but I will always have you. Always be a part of you."_

The rogue could feel the cold sweat on his skin and the tightening of his throat. It was only a matter of time before the tears would come. And the pain. It always did. _"That's right. Why bother fighting back? You know it will only end in pain. _Your_ pain."_

"Please, just go away," his own voice sounded small and childlike in his own ears.

__

"No." It said plainly. _"Try and make me."_ When nothing happened for a moment, an insidious laugh echoed in his ears. And he felt the first of his tears break free and trickle down his cheek. Within moments some of his old scars began to ache. They were the ones that had been particularly agonizing and left him helpless. Even after five years that beast still had control over him. The laugh would periodically return along with condescending insults. And all he could do was sit there and take it in silence, like he always had.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there. In fact he hadn't even realized he moved until he heard the locks to his cell click open. Instantly, his eyes popped open to see Official Martorana enter along with another man he didn't recognize. The man looked to be a bit younger than Qui-Gon but had a very regal air about him. His light brown hair was slicked back and dressed in a tidy suit and robes. Neither seemed surprised to find him huddled in a corner.

Martorana spoke first, "I'm glad to see that you are awake, Obi-Wan. This here is Guillaume se Tavis, at Master Jinn's request he will be your barrister."

Obi-Wan looked warily up at the man. Guillaume said nothing but took a few steps closer. "Hello, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon's told me a lot about you. Well, as much as he could anyway. That's why I'm here. I need to know a little more before heading into the trial tomorrow. If you don't mind, I just need to ask you a few questions." When Obi-Wan didn't say anything, both Fama and Gi opened the session. They spent a number of hours asking questions upon questions trying to get a better feel for what happened. As much as he didn't want to deal with either of them at the moment, their presence kept the voice at bay. So he humoured them. At last, they finished. But before Fama left, she turned to the tired youth.

"You have one more visitor. She'll be here in a moment."

Curious, he wondered who it could be. The Official has said _she_ so he doubted it was Qui-Gon. He wondered where the man was for a moment as it was obvious that he was denied the chance to stay with Obi-Wan. About ten minutes later he was about to find out who this strange visitor was. The cell door opened once more. The figure's back was to him, but he could tell by the robes that this person was a Jedi. Hushed whisperings were muttered. Then she turned around to look at him. A curious look on her face, which he was able to discern due to experience. The being was definitely a feline-like humanoid but equally was not Togorian.

She had medium length fur with hints of grey at the ends. Her striped eyes were an amazingly clear blue. He knew right away that she was Koyn by her slender face. Koyn came from the same sector of space as Togorians did, just a different planet. In a sense they were cousins. Suddenly, it occurred to him why she was sent and a scowl formed on his face. She seemed to recognize this change and stepped cautiously inside. Movement by the door caught his attention for a moment before it closed all the way. Apparently, this Master had brought her Padawan along with her. He wasn't able to see much and promptly forgot about it when the Koyn approached.

"Greetings Obi-Wan Kenobi, my name is Uulia Uvontra Vylond." Her voice was soothing, non-confrontational and she took her time speaking. Warily, he regarded her but said nothing. "I have been asked to do a quick assessment of you. I am a Soul Healer. I was hoping to ask you a few questions."

At this, his eyes narrowed. "Do they honestly believe that sending you here would make me open up and spill my heart to you just because you're Koyn? Besides, I've answered enough questions today." He was surprised to hear the edge in his voice. He never intended to be so disrespectful, but he was annoyed at the circumstance. To her credit, all she did was nod and utter a soft, 'ah.' For some reason, her response annoyed him more.

"You must think that I was chosen to come here because of your familiarity with our cousins the Togorians, don't you?" A spark in his eyes told her she was correct. "Well, rest assured that is not why I was sent. Although the possibility has probably crossed their minds. In all truth, I was sent because of my affiliation with the Coruscant Security Force. I am a liaison between the Jedi and the CSF. Often my services are requested to assist with profiling and determine the felon's mental state."

At this, he had to laugh, although the mirth was only half-hearted. By the end of his little outburst, an element of sorrow filled the hollow sound. "My mental state is probably not the best right now," he mumbled.

She ignored this comment and pressed on with her task. "May I ask why you are sitting there?"

Leaning his head back against the wall, he tightened his hold around his knees. Closing his eyes, he figured he may as well cooperate. "I feel safer here."

"Safer? Has anyone in the CSF threatened or harmed you in anyway?" The concern and worry was obvious in her tone.

"No."

"Then why do you feel the need to hide in a corner?"

"Because I do. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

He sighed and realized she wasn't going to let this go. "When I was a prisoner the corner was my home. Now I just kinda find it comfortable." He shrugged; there really was no rational way for him to explain it. Thankfully, she seemed satisfied with this answer and moved on.

"So you were a prisoner before you were a pirate." She stated more than asked. He nodded. "Can you tell me briefly about your experiences?"

Looking directly at her he said, "I'll tell you this. My captivity was not at all pleasant. It was a living hell. One I wished I could have escaped from. And I didn't care how exactly as long as I didn't have to suffer any more. Then everything changed. The old ways were cast aside, I was freed. Those that took care of me after that did so not because I could do something for them, but because they wanted to. I felt I owed them for their kindness, so I helped them wherever I could."

"Including piracy?"

"Wherever I could," he reiterated.

"I have heard that you taught them how to intimidate rather than kill."

"I _was_ a Jedi, the concept of killing – or rather _not_ killing – had been ingrained in me. I had hoped that someday we could find a way to live without raiding at all."

"Changing one's ways is a very difficult task."

"Yeah, so? Well, I once heard it said that, _Things that don't change are so lame._" He laughed lightly remembering how a thirteen-year-old Liior had told him that one day when they were talking. At least that was how his mind translated it as he was still learning their language. "The world changes. Life changes. Circumstances change. If we don't then we won't survive to worry about it." They sat in silence for a few minutes. Uvontra seemed to be watching him, and he suddenly got the impression she was probing him. Feeling a bit uncomfortable by the thought, he shifted and hugged himself tighter.

Without provocation, she smiled. "You are a very unique young man, Obi-Wan. I hope we shall be able to talk again sometime. Thank you for your time." She bowed halfway, a rather formal bow and one he felt he didn't deserve after being so rude before. But still, she did so and then knocked on the door letting the guards know she was done. A few seconds later the door opened again to let her out. Before leaving, she turned back to him and bobbed her head one more time.

He was alone now. Again. Closing his eyes once more, he just sat there. Tomorrow his trial would begin, and in a way he looked forward to it. At least by the end there wouldn't be any more questions to plague him. His fate would be decided once and for all and that would be it. He was fairly sure how things would turn out, but still that scant ember of hope still burned. _Why?_ He wondered. Why did he always put himself through it? It never helped or solved anything. Most of the time it only made it worse._ "Because you're a fool, Bauudi."_ A sob escaped him. _Not you again._

__

"Oh yes me. We were interrupted before but I wasn't finished yet. Now where were we?" Obi-Wan slunk even further into himself, if that were possible. He was mad. The voice couldn't even leave him alone for a few minutes. Instead it quickly returned to torment him. There was no time to brace for the coming storm. His old wounds and now even his more recent ones began to ache. The tears were soon to follow along with that incessant voice that chipped away at his soul. It hissed in his ears taunting him, jibing him. Barely rocking back and forth he brought his hands up to his ears in a futile attempt to block out the voice. It was no good.

Once again time seemed surreal. So engrossed in his struggle for sanity, he never noticed his door open to admit one last guest for the night. It was only when a hand lighted on his arm that he realized he was no longer alone. Without even opening his eyes, he knew who it was. The light touch, the smell that wafted up his nose and the odd sense he was getting revealed that to him. Amazingly enough, he didn't shy away from the touch or rush to hide his tears. Oddly, he ended up leaning toward it. The room was still silent, yet to be broken by a voice while the turmoil within the youth slowly began to abate. The being's small hand rubbed tiny circles into his back, offering comfort. And when Obi-Wan felt he had control of his emotions again, he finally addressed the visitor. "Thank you, Master Yoda."

"What for, young one?"

"I'm not sure exactly," he mumbled, wiping at his eyes and face. "I guess for everything." The tiny hand on his back slid away to rest on the top of his gimer stick. A low grunt escaped the Master. To Obi-Wan it sounded rather disapproving. Curious he asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No." Yoda moved to the low bunk and climbed onto it. "Nothing wrong, you have done."

Still unsure but filled with a desire to speak with the sage so urgently, the youth moved to kneel reverently in front of the petite green figure. "Then, may I ask what is troubling you Master?"

The ancient being's reaction was not at all what the rogue expected. The long pointed ears drooped low. Breathing out a long sigh, eyelids closed only to reopen a moment later looking very tired and sad. One hand reached out to touch the boy's cheek. "Missed you I have. Too long you have been away from us. Returned sooner, I had hoped."

Relishing the gentle contact, it took a few extra beats for his weary mind to comprehend the man's words. As they began to sink in his gaze moved up to lock with the Jedi's. "Returned sooner? But I thought…. They said that everyone thought I was dead."

"Never believed that I did."

Stunned, he stuttered, "Th-then why didn't anyone look for me?" Tears brimmed his eyes, threatening to fall.

"Convince the Council I could not." Yoda put down his walking stick so that he could cup the boy's face with both hands. "Why did you not come back?"

"What was there for me to come back to? My dreams were already lost. I would have returned just to be sent away again. I couldn't bear being thrown out a second time."

"A mistake we made in letting you go." Yoda said. "Mistakes I have made. Caused you much pain and suffering."

"Oh no, Master Yoda, you haven't. Even though they may have been painful reminders of my past, it was your teachings that kept me alive. Otherwise, I would be dead right now." He quickly tried to reassure his old mentor.

"A disservice I have done the Jedi by my meddling."

Obi-Wan was beyond confused now, he just couldn't grasp what Yoda was trying to say in his typical round-a-bout manner. "I don't understand, Master. What meddling? What mistakes?"

Sighing, he felt he may as well get out what he had come to confess. But he would do so in his own way and time. "Gifted you have been. Noticed it I did when brought to the Temple you were. Exceptional student. Loyal and true to Jedi and friends. Very promising you were. A great Knight you would have made."

The emotions in the sea-washed eyes ranged. He didn't know what to do or say. He was grateful and happy at this obvious praise, but he knew that there was more to come. And he wasn't sure he was going to like what was said. "If I had such potential, why was I never chosen? Promising students don't get looked over for no reason. Do they? So what was wrong with me that I was passed over?" Yet again, he posed the question that brought fear to his heart. The answer had the power to make or break him. He had posed it to Qui-Gon and was disheartened to know that the man held nothing over him. But with such great wisdom as Master Yoda had, he expected to finally be told the truth. He would finally discover what made others fear his training and forced his exile. He braced himself for the worst. Unfortunately the answer that came was far worse than he could ever have expected.

Yoda let out another great sigh. His shoulders sagged and he closed his eyes. Barely above a whisper, he answered, "Nothing wrong with you, there was."

It was like he had been stabbed through the heart by a lightsaber. _Nothing._ The word echoed in his mind eventually finding its way to his voice, "n-nothing?"

"Nothing," he repeated. "In fact, a number of Knights to the Council came, requesting permission to approach you. Denied they all were by my prompting."

"What?" A disbelieving hiss escaped him. His mind was reeling from the verbal blows. Confused and lost, he just couldn't accept what the Master was saying. Knights had asked to be his Master and Yoda, of all people, pushed them away? He was suddenly finding it very hard to breathe. Pained blue-green eyes bore into the Jedi, searching desperately for any signs of verification. "Why?" He managed to plead.

"Felt I had that another, your Master should have been."

His mind continued to race through the information, suddenly it dawned on him whom Yoda meant, "Qui-Gon?" Yoda nodded.

"Believed strongly that the Force meant for you two to be Master and Padawan. So helped it along I did. Denied others and kept at Qui-Gon to consider you. But too wrapped in his own pain he was to see you. And too blind by my own beliefs to stop what was happening. The fight with Bruck caused the others to release you. Nothing I could do to prevent it. And no way to convince Qui-Gon in time to take you. So away you were sent and lost."

Obi-Wan struggled to get to his feet. Glaring down at the Jedi, he began, "In the past five years I have gone through hell and back, and for what? _Nothing?_ You're telling me that all the pain I went through was not because I deserved it but because of an oversight?" He paused, waiting for an answer that wouldn't come. The anguish in his voice poured out, "All my life I wanted nothing more than to be a Jedi, to serve others. And when I was cast out, I wanted to die because if I couldn't be a Jedi, life would be meaningless. There were so many times I was on the verge, I could feel the Force closing in around me, but I could never bring myself to let go. I figured living would be just punishment for the demon I believed I was.

"And now you tell me that everything I believed about myself was a lie. My failures were not absolute. That my punishment was unfitting. And what difference does all this really make? None. My dreams are dead! I'm too old to be a Jedi now. And what would the Jedi want with a convicted pirate anyway?" Tears trailed down his face, his throat constricted making it hard to speak, but he had to get out one last question, "How could you destroy my life?"

And for the first time in too many years to count, Yoda had no answers. He had no shining gem of wisdom to balm the emotional scars he himself had inflicted. Seeing this, the youth could take no more. His legs buckled and he collapsed to the ground on hands and knees. His head bent and his body racked with sobs. Eventually, he found the will to speak one more time. "Please, leave me alone."

Yoda slid off the meager sleepcouch. He took a few steps and stopped. Carefully, he laid his hand on top of flowing ginger strands. Just above a whisper, he said, "So sorry I am." Then he shuffled out of the detention cell and headed for the Temple. Obi-Wan slowly crawled his way back to the corner and wept. The roiling emotions took their toll and eventually exhaustion finally claimed him.

-------------------------------------------

Thank you all for reading!! I was hoping to get a few more reviews from last chap, but I'll live. Anyways, a **_Review_** here would be really great considering the emotional rollercoaster I just took you on. I know me and especially my Muses would appreciate it very much!! Domo ariagato gozaimasu!!! :D

LOTRFaith – Yes, an update, and another one too. ;) I would LOVE to bring Tuuvu back in but he knows that to interfere now would only destroy Obi further. So he must sit and wait. But that doesn't mean it's easy for him. Hopefully we'll get back to them soon. Now on with the Trial!! ]:D

K-rock – Maybe not in this chap, but watch out, because Sano might just rear his ugly head next chap. ]:p I'm still looking for that next chap. But that's ok, get it to me whenever you can! :D You're silly. And I could probably ramble on for hours right now considering it's really late and I'm tired and getting into a strange mood. But I think it's best I quit while I'm ahead!! ;) Catch ya later!!

Fudge – Thank you as always!! I just love Angst (as if you couldn't tell or know) and it's so much fun drawing on the unstable emotions of humanity. It really is our driving force in life. Even if we express no emotion we still can be guided by them. And I like filling out my chars. To write boring and stale people always makes me mad, which is why so many of them get lives and backgrounds when they are created. And yes, not everyone is strong enough to follow their emotions to the fullest extent. For Fama to just through her life away on a whim would be too risky. And for such a sensible person as a CSF Official it would make no sense. Therefore, she did what she had to do. But I am so very happy to know that her char has not been underdeveloped. :D Thanks again!

Amazed – tehe, you called me _Arldetta-san_. hehe. May I ask you a question, do you know Japanese or are you just an Anime fan as well? If you haven't noticed, I'm in the process of trying to learn. So if you do, would you mind contacting me so we can 'chat?' If not, that's cool too. Just wanted to ask. ;) So anyways so, yes, the dream was a bit vague but I wanted it to be. And Obi's just so good at being humble, ne? It would be a sin not to write it as such. Domo, Domo!! It's not necessarily that I doubt myself, but my abilities. Sometimes the story in my head doesn't come out exactly the way I want it to. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes very frustrating. I would LOVE to publish, but I'm gonna have to work on my originals for that. But shhhh, I just started developing an Anime-esque type of a story. So who knows if that may ever come to fruition. Wish me luck!! ;) Ariagato!! Later! :D

So, a review would be nice now. That's right a REVIEW!! I won't be so petty to put a review quota like I've seen others do. But the more I do receive the more excited I get and thus the more my Muse is happy. And a Happy Muse always produces better and FASTER work. ;) Thanks again to all!! :D :D Later.


	30. Chapter 29: No More Excuses

Chapter 29: No More Excuses

__

"Why no one will help me? I'm too dumb, I'm too smart.  
They'll not understand me. I'm lonely, they'll hate me.

There is not enough time, it takes too much to help me.  
God wants me to work, no resting, no lazy.

These excuses have served me so well.  
They've kept me safe, they've kept me stuck  
They've kept me locked in my own cell." - Excuses (Alanis Morrisette - So-Called Chaos)

The morning was hectic. Preparations and finalizations were being made as so many people scurried all over. Everything moved in fast forward, everything except the one that all this chaos would effect most. Amidst the hustle, he was motionless. After his talk with Master Yoda the night before, he lost the last remaining fragments of himself. Internally he was dead, a corpse walking - pretending to live. Outwardly, it was just a physical shell in the visage of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The world no longer seemed real to him, more like a dream that ran on continuously. He let those around him guide and direct him. He was given clothes to change into for the trial. A small plate of food was offered but all he did was move the contents around. When the guards came to take him away, he didn't struggle and calmly held up his hands to make it easier for them to bind him. Before he knew it, he was walking into a moderate room where people busied themselves before the trial began.

At a desk ahead, Guillaume sat waiting for him. He vaguely noticed the Jedi that sat in the audience or any of the various civilians including most of the crew from the _Zenah_. Griven's death stare didn't even faze him in the least. He sat where he was told to and let the world continue without him. Guillaume, for his part, tried to prepare the rogue for what was to come, but Obi didn't hear him.

"Now, Obi-Wan, I'm not going to lie to you, this is not going to be an easy battle. I just want you to know that I will use everything in my power to get you released to the Jedi. And if it comes down to it, I may have to resort to more drastic methods. I just want you to be prepared for it." He paused and looked around for a moment and noticed the people had become a bit more frantic. "The trial will begin in a few minutes. When the Arbitrator comes in, you need to stand. For now, you will just be here but probably by this afternoon you will be called to testify. Speak truthfully no matter how much Sauro tries to manipulate your words. Until then just try and stay calm. A hot head never has helped a case."

A second after he stopped speaking, a CSF Guard entered the court and called the session to order. "All rise for Arbitrator Osei-Tutu." A petite round figure came in, shorter than the average human but nowhere near as small as Yoda, with smooth light green skin and bright orange eyes. It had skin ridges instead of hair. And when it spoke, the harmonics of the voice did not allow those to discern if the being was male or female.

"Thank you, Official Naku. I now invite the barristers to make their opening remarks." Those in the room sat once more except for the prosecution.

Sano Sauro stepped from behind his desk to take center stage. He addressed the Arbitrator and the eight-manned panel that would serve as jury in this case. "As most of you know, the Republic is the mightiest power in the galaxy right now. It has offered peace and stability to many of the worlds under its charge as well as any one who has asked for our help. The Galactic Senate is the largest and strongest ruling body that the galaxy has ever seen. Peace has thrived now for hundreds of years and they are calling the question as to whether or not we need to keep a firm hand against those that may oppose us. I am a firm believer that the Republic must maintain discipline. We have gotten soft over the centuries, allowing the Jedi to assume a more authoritative role outside the boundaries of the Republic. And though this question will not be answered here, it is a factor that we should keep in the back of our minds as we discuss the case at hand."

Sano had been pacing around in front of the courtroom but had finally stopped a few feet in front of the table of the accused. His arm flew out and he pointed at Obi-Wan menacingly. "A case in which an _EX_-Jedi has willfully and wrongfully committed crimes against the citizens of our beloved Republic. Viciously he attacked and pillaged the defenseless and has even taken the lives of those who would not accept defeat. He has made use of the skills learned while a Jedi initiate in order to threaten and harm others. Where were the gentle teachings of the Jedi then? Deliberately he ignored them and caused pain, something a Jedi is taught to avoid." Slowly, the angry man turned to look at the whole audience.

"And if he did so knowingly, one has to wonder is it possible for other Jedi to forget their training and turn against us? We have allowed our grip on them to slip and this is a result of such actions. We need to remind the Jedi that we will not sit back and permit them to intimidate us with their _special_ powers - powers that they can easily use against us at whim. Do not be swayed by pretty words and manipulated circumstances. That young man has committed murder and he should be punished for it no matter what his background. Do not let him get away without facing the consequences." Satisfied with his opening monologue, Sauro bowed slightly and walked back to his desk.

Next Gi stood and took his place in the center of the room to provide his insight. "I have been a barrister now for many years and have been part of hundreds of cases. Sometimes the circumstances that bring us here involve more than the case at hand. But I warn you, do not be deceived. The political battles that are waged beyond this room should not be fought inside it. Yes, we should not forget them as they do play a factor in what has lead us here, but only the facts should be considered. Please do not let Mister Sauro's personal battle against the Jedi Order affect your judgement. We are here to determine a young man's fate. And although he may have ties to the Jedi, the circumstances that brought him here are much more important.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi was dismissed from the Jedi shortly before his thirteenth birthday. While young and impressionable he was taken prisoner by the very pirates that attacked the vessel he was sent on. He was then abused without mercy, almost to the point of death. Now many of the people I know have a very difficult time dealing with pain, but he survived. So would it not be possible that a young mind can be beset with a skewed sense of judgement as a result? I think so. He knows he has done wrong. And that he could be severely punished for those wrongs. Yet despite this he has willingly turned himself in to face judgement for the errors he has committed. More importantly, keep in mind that when he has finished accepting your judgement his trial is not over. Because of his Jedi heritage he will go before their Council and submit to what they deem just as well. Regular citizens are not required to go through two trials and serve two sentences. Currently, he is a subject of the Republic, but I ask you to forgo your judgement and place him in the hands of the Jedi so that he can be dealt with by the appropriate people."

Guillaume thanked them and then sat back down next to Obi-Wan. From that moment on, the debate began. And as the minutes passed, Obi-Wan began to listen less and less to what was happening around him. Only vaguely would he pick up on the snippets of witnesses being called to testify and their answers to the questions asked.

===

A witness from the _Koska_. "We were very frightened. A group of vicious beasts came rushing in and herded us into the common room. They demanded our valuables. We did our best to comply…………… I must say a number of us were surprised to see a human among them………………It all happened so suddenly. They were about to leave, thankfully, when the blasts were fired…….I _think_ that one of the crew fired first, but it was so long ago I can't really remember."

===

"I remember vividly." A crewman said heatedly. "Those bastards took everything and just before they left they killed Kiiv. I don't know if they did it just to make a point or because they were just showing their true nature. Either way, one of my friends is dead."

===

"I seem to recall things a bit differently." A woman said. "I was standing all the way to one side, but I could see the Pirates clearly. I could also see some of the crew off to my left. One of them pulled a blaster out of nowhere. I heard someone scream as shots were fired. It happened too quickly for me to understand fully what happened but I do remember what happened next."

"And that would be what?" She was prompted.

"I remember it because it struck me odd. The young man just stood staring at the man he shot. Or at least I assumed he shot him because I had seen that kind of face before. It was the look of someone who had killed for the first time. His face was blank and pale and I knew then that he had not intended to kill the man. It took a couple of the pirates to finally drag him away. Afterward, the ship made it to a port and that was all. I'm used to terror and death but I'll never forget what happened then."

===

Obi-Wan had listened to this woman the most. Her voice seemed rather calm and introspective instead of hostile or unsure like a number of the others. Of all the witnesses thus far, her descriptions were the most accurate. Although, she may not have been correct about it being his first kill, (he shuddered at _that_ dark memory) he was shocked that he had taken a life needlessly. He could regret but regrets never changed the past.

The morning continued to drag as witness after witness was brought up to relate the events in their own words. Soon, the incident on the _Koska_ had been covered thoroughly by the countless testimonies. There was a very short recess before they started calling up people from the _Zenah_. During this break Qui-Gon came up to him, however Obi-Wan remained unresponsive even to his prompting.

"Obi-Wan, I know this is rough on you, but do not fear. Hopefully, this will all be over soon and we will go back to the Temple. Then you will see, everything will be alright." The Knight knelt next to the youth and waited for some sort of reaction. But there was none. Looking in dulled blue-green depths he could see the far off look. Instantly, he knew something had happened. He didn't know what it was but something had traumatized the boy. "Obi-Wan? What happened? What is wrong? Did someone talk to you, _do_ anything to you while you were incarcerated?"

Qui-Gon waited once more needlessly. Worried crystal eyes flickered over to Guillaume, who had now focused his attention on the pair. They both sat wondering what could have caused this catatonic state the rogue was now in. But the time for contemplation was at an end as the Official called the session back in order. The first two called in, Tenten and Sordin, had very little to say as they didn't have much contact with what had happened except for the raid. But with each person the story slowly began to build.

===

Pev-da began, "After the crash we all scrambled to try and find out how much damage there was and if we would be able to get back. I've been around long enough to know it was hopeless. Still we tried to do a miracle……..While we were outside doing repairs, one of the kids ran out. The Captain and the Jedi hurried back in. The next thing we knew we were captured by the Pirates. They followed us down in order to get the boy back………..Yes, they threatened to kill us."

===

"Of course I was scared!" the young Duros, Reillo Quarg, related. "I've only recently joined the crew because of my Uncle. I knew he would be worried about me once they found out we were gone, but the thought of dying was still horrifying……When we got to the exchange, the human pirate bargained for our release. He wouldn't even leave until everyone was back safe. I was a bit shocked by that but I didn't mind much as long as everyone was safe."

===

"It was strange really. I was beyond scared, Mister Nev did his best to keep us calm. And he volunteered to stay behind. I don't know if I could have done it……….Well, that's what was strange. When we got back to the _Zenah_, he refused to go back until everyone was returned. I didn't understand why a pirate would care about the people he attacked. I know now it was probably his Jedi training." His thoughts went introspective for a moment and he mumbled, "Maybe that's what that was…."

"What?" He prompted the young Andon Hobbsbreath.

"Well, after the Togorians went back to get Pev-da and Mister Nev, Master Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan removed our binders. But after he removed mine, his hands stayed on my wrists. It was incredible. A warmth filled them but it wasn't hot but soothing. And the discomfort went away. It's kinda funny actually. I've always had wrist problems but since he did what he did, I've been pain free. I guess it was one of those Jedi Healing things I've heard about."

===

Wuan Jeswick answered, "I was the one to discover that my nephew and the others were missing. Nev contacted me about something he found and had me check into it. He was right and I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't reach him. That's when I knew something was wrong……….He found a device. We don't know who put it there still. But it's really puzzled us all…."

===

"Well, the technology that was used for the device is beyond the norm. It was actually rather hard to decipher. But we were able to determine it was not a friendly mechanism. It was placed there to kill us…….The real mystery here is that apparently the device is from the same technology as the Pirate's."

Sano had been pondering this information for a while. Now he decided to prod the man, "So it is possible that the pirate's planted the device?"

Nev Obser shook his head in denial. "I don't think so. They seemed equally surprised to see it."

"Could it not have been an act?" Sauro was standing right in front of Nev now. "Didn't you say that when you were brought back, Kenobi was rummaging through the damage and seemed to stumble conveniently upon the device you found?"

"Well, yes. But…"

"So it could be assumed that he had the foreknowledge of its whereabouts?"

"Objection!" Gi abruptly stood to address the Arbitrator. "This line of questioning is irrelevant for the trial at hand. Obi-Wan is being charged with theft, aggravated assault and aggravated manslaughter, not some speculative sabotage."

A calm harmonic voice replied, "Sustained, Mister Sauro, please get back to the matter."

Taking a moment, Sano tried to find a better way to get more information without straying too far from the topic. "Have you learned anything else about the device?"

"No, it's still hard to fully decipher. I had hoped that somehow we could arrange for Obi-Wan to assist with the investigation. Since he's the most familiar with the technology I thought he would be valuable."

===

Now that the device matter had been settled, the events that occurred inside the _Zenah_ after the crash were brought to light. The witnesses were now a mix of crew and Jedi.

===

"I have only heard about Obi-Wan through my Padawan and Master Jinn. From what they always said, he was a gentle loving child. The fact that he had become so cynical is a testament to the horrors he faced……He tried to hide his identity at first, but I think it was because he didn't know how we would react to him……Yes, when they first boarded, he did injure my arm. But I know it was a matter of necessity. If not for my own protection but for his Togorian family……I didn't see the incident in the rec room, and I'm glad. But I know it has disturbed many others."

===

"He was my best friend. He was the light in our lives. To know he has suffered so much breaks my heart. But I am glad to have him back again……….I followed him to the rec room and found him…found him punching the post. It was a horrible sight…..When he calmed down, we talked for a little bit when those monsters came in. They took him and beat him without so much provocation. They even threatened me. I have never felt so sick in my life. If I never seen anything like it again, it'll still be too soon."

===

"I followed Bant. I knew that Obi-Wan needed her and wanted to make sure that she was there for him. He was hurting himself and crying. I don't really know why, but it was very sad. Then those men came. I could feel their hate. It scared me……..I didn't know what else to do. I went to find Master Qui-Gon. I figured he could stop them. And he did. And now we're all back here safe." Tola's violet eyes began to blur. "Obi-Wan's going to be ok, isn't he? You'll let him go, right? He's nice and I don't think he should be locked away after saving us."

===

Ain Chuss and Tenadden Maad stepped up to tell their tales, but it was the announcement of the next witness that actually caused Obi-Wan to flinch. As the man walked past, he could feel the dark glare press onto him. Still he never lifted his eyes to look at the man directly. And as Mortius Griven took his seat, Obi-Wan closed his eyes and tried to slip further into oblivion and lost.

===

"Piloting has been part of our family for generations. It's been said that we were born to fly. So when I became a pilot it was nothing special…..Kiiv was my younger brother. He got the job on the _Koska_ about three years before his murder…..I loved him very much. I have always been there to protect him and care for him. Growing up we had to stick together considering our father was away most of the time. I was even his best man at his wedding……. They were married for five years and had two sons…… I forbade them to come here. They have already been traumatized enough. I've been trying to provide for them as best I could, but they are still hurting from Kiiv's loss. I felt it best I take care of this murderer."

"Is that why you attacked him?"

"Alright, so I made a mistake trying to take him out instead of bringing him in, but you have to understand. I was just released from the infirmary and suddenly I see him running through the halls. I didn't know at first that he was with the Jedi. I was worried about him killing someone else. So I got Ain and Maad and we went after him."

"Why did you attack after you saw the Padawan there? And it appeared as if she was not in danger?"

"I couldn't help myself. I saw my brother's killer standing in front of me and everything was red with rage. I felt if I did nothing I would never find peace. And - and - and….." He looked down at the tightening fist in his lap. "Hitting him - _hurting_ him felt so - so good." As the man continued to stare at his hand, he looked so confused by the conflict of emotions within him. But a soft sob from the audience drew him out of his reverie. He noticed the two alien girls huddled together. For an instant he felt bad for having beat the pirate in front of them. Suddenly, his gaze moved to the felon in question and went back to the hard glare as before. Something in him snapped and he barked, "He's a murderer and a monster. He doesn't deserve any type of freedom. He deserves death. I'm glad I got the chance to show him what pain he's caused others. He needs to know that his actions have destroyed people's lives!" And as much as the anger and hate filled his voice at that moment, Griven would soon realize that Obi-Wan understood pain more than he could ever know.

===

"I became involved after the rec room. Qui-Gon came in carrying the boy. I was shocked to see him but Healer's reflex kicked in and I immediately went to work. I couldn't believe all the damage. He was a mess…….At the time it was a bad blaster wound to the midsection, various bruises and abrasions, a number of fractures and breaks and blood loss. I was able to treat some of it but really didn't have all the equipment I needed. Actually some of the equipment I could have used was damaged in the crash. But it's not like he stayed long enough for me to really treat him……The Togorians contacted Fen while we were all in the infirmary. So the trade was to happen soon. But then everything changed…………..

"When we reached Onderon, Obi-Wan was supposed to remain in our custody but Griven messed that up. The OSF came and claimed the boy. That's when they put the collar on. That was the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. I know even I can't wait for that thing to be taken off. I can't believe that the Republic Security Force could be so cruel…..Yes, cruel. He turned himself in. He was a Jedi for heaven's sake. He should have been treated with more compassion than that for that fact alone. But on top of everything else, he was in no condition to put up a fight, and I should know……..Like I said before, I didn't have the time or equipment at the time but after they put the collar on it became obvious that his condition was more serious than believed. He had been bleeding internally for a while. It finally caught up to him on the way back to Coruscant and that's when he was taken to the Center. Thank the gods for Bacta."

===

"We were very surprised to discover he was alive." The impassive visage of the Councilwoman sat. "And even more so when we realized he was willingly assisting the Pirates……..But it was his piloting abilities that landed the _Zenah_ safely. And his influence on the Pirates that allowed us to gain passage back to Onderon. If not for him, we would still be on that planet……..It is true, once he has finished with this trial here, he will be brought before the Council and we will decide his ultimate fate. What he has done with his training is a grievous crime against the Order. He must face his punishment……..On extreme cases yes, the Jedi have had to destroy the offender. But like I said that is on very extreme cases." Adi Gallia spoke plainly. She felt no need to hide the truth and her Jedi training kept her voice emotionless and dry.

===

Fen Lessik said, "I don't know why he was still on board and at the time I didn't care. But if not for that boy, we would probably be dead. After Griven was knocked out, I couldn't handle flying the ship by myself. I hadn't done it in a while so I was rusty. But then Obi-Wan and the Jedi showed up. And he took over, thankfully…….I don't care what the circumstances were exactly, like I said. He got my crew back safe and sound. And after everything we've all been through I can see why the Togorians wanted him back so badly. I think I would have gone through extreme measures myself if I were in their place. But none of that matters any more. He kept us alive and got us to Onderon and he risked himself over and over again to do it. I'm not saying he should be absolved of Kiiv's death entirely, but I think he has done plenty to make up for most of his mistakes. And you should keep that in mind."

===

At last it had come down to one more key witness. Obi-Wan's heart pounded against his chest. He had been living in a haze since this whole trial began only once in a while surfacing to comprehend what was happening. The last few he had been half listening to but as the man rose behind him, he couldn't help but become alert.

===

"Yes, I knew him as an initiate but only briefly. In a way, he was meant to be my Apprentice. But due to personal reasons, I dismissed him and he was sent away…….Like I said, they were personal reasons and had nothing to do with Obi-Wan specifically. I have regretted my decision ever since that day. And when he was pronounced dead, it shattered my world, as well as many others. Knowing now that he suffered while we pitied ourselves puts a foul taste in my mouth. I can only hope we get the chance to make it up to him……..Obi-Wan and I spoke about the incident on the _Koska_ and I am convinced that Kiiv Griven's death was an accident. He was a Jedi after all and his desire to preserve life is still strong in him……I must agree with Master Tahl in that respect. Jedi are trained from a very young age to fight. So the fact he knew it was a Jedi Master at the end of the hall probably drove him to end the conflict quickly without death. Her injury was minor and only meant to distract her……..

"He went through so much. The attack in the rec room was completely unprovoked and uncalled for. And Obi-Wan's actions were commendable considering what happened. He never once sought revenge and even provided us a way to get back to civilization. He has bargained himself and is now here facing his trial for the crimes he has committed. But I beg you to consider your decisions carefully. He was once a Jedi and he should face a Jedi punishment. In the past, Jedi have always been allowed to handle their own people. I know that once he was dismissed it could be believed that he was no longer a Jedi but that is not true. Obi-Wan will always be a Jedi. Let him face the Council and their decision."

===

Qui-Gon's time on the stand was briefer than he thought and in a way Obi-Wan wished it was longer, if only to postpone what was to come. Once the Jedi stepped down, the court called for a break. It was time for a late mid-day meal. Obi-Wan was led back to a holding cell and given food (which he didn't eat.) A few of the _Koska_ witnesses went back home now that they had finished their testimonies. But many were interested to learn the outcome, so they ate quickly to get back in time for the rest of the trial. Those that were close to the accused had stuck together in an attempt to offer support. However, one look at their solemn faces revealed how worried they all were.

Court reconvened about a standard hour later. Official Naku announced the Arbitrator's arrival. Settled back into the routine, Sauro Sano stood. "I think we have heard enough from everyone. It's time we get to the heart of this trial. I call Obi-Wan Kenobi to the stand."

------------------------------------------

Well, there you go, the trial has begun!! I hope you all enjoyed it. It was most interesting to write. Now next chap, I'm sure many of you are anxious for that. I know I would be. ;) Anyway, just a forewarning, there will be a rather 'intense' part in the next section. It will not be graphic but the innuendos may be disturbing. Just though I would let you know _before_ posting the next chap. (and if all goes well, that should be next fri! ;) ) As always thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D And don't forget to click that _REVIEW_ button down there. I would greatly appreciate it. ;)

Kynstar - :8} Gosh thanks!! :D I'm so very happy I can still give you a good does of Obi-Angst. As for the whole Yoda/Obi scene, I know. But Yoda can sometimes be too meddlesome for my taste. And I think too many writer's put him up on this post as infallible. I think he can make mistakes too and that's what I wanted to show. At this point Yoda really just needed to confess. Well just have to wait and see if he can convince Obi to come back now that the truth is known. Thanks for reviewing at both places too!!! :D That makes me sooooooooo very happy!! [facelove]

LOTRFaith – Yes, I'm glad the muse decided to work for me there too. WE were actually going good for a bit and then she slammed the gate shut again. I've been camped out hoping that she'll open up again soon, but I'm not holding my breath. ;) Anyway, I know how you feel. And sometimes it doesn't get any easier as you grow up. When I was in High School, I said I'm gonna be an actress. Then I met my hubby my junior year. Next thing I knew I dropped musical theatre all together and picked up Art. I love art just don't have a real talent for it. Sadly, I love writing but just don't have the gumshoe to pursue it. I don't want the responsibility of deadlines. My big problem is that I have nothing that I'm really _great_ at. Don't get me wrong, I'm good at a lot of things but nothing that really says, 'You're awesome at this!!' So there are hundreds of times where I sit and think, 'What am I doing with my life? Is this what I want? No, but I have no direction to take.' So I've been sitting at the same cross roads for the past 7 years. I wish you infinitely more luck in finding direction. I think Obi's stuck in the same rut at the moment. We'll see if he can find a way out though. ;) Thanks again for reading!! :D :D

Fudge – Awwwww, Thanks!!! :8D "Queen of Angst" You should save that title for next chap. ;) hehe. Yoda's interference really screwed everything up. And now that Obi's back, all those repressed emotions are troubling the little fart. Which is good, because he should be troubled. Anyway, I think we'll just need to give him a bit more time. Unlike Qui, he has so many other obligations and things to consider that he's trying to find the right way to set everything back on the right path. It just may take him a bit longer to figure it out. ;) Thanks again!! :D

Death Rider – Wow haven't seen you recently. So glad you stopped by!! :D All I can say about your theory is that you're close, but not there yet. :p LOL, I don't know if I would say Yoda was doing the dark's bidding, wittingly or unwittingly, but his interference really did foul things up pretty good. We'll just have to see how it all plays out. Mwahahahahaha! ]:)

YLJedi – Well, I'm very glad to hear you liked Obi's reaction. I have seen a few of those too and said, how could he just take it?? But then I realize I almost did that here. :8} On tf.n I actually posted my original draft for that scene that I wrote way back in the beginning of 2003, as I'm sure you can guess the course of the story has changed so much since then, I felt it just wouldn't work here anymore. Sooo, to make a long story short, I re-wrote it and LOVE the change. :D Yes, Obi-Angst is the sweet nectar of life. Well, actually any cute and horribly distraught man that suffers bth mental and physical torture is the sweet nectar of life, but Obi's is some of the best. ;) Thanks!!

Amazed – That's ok. You didn't have to be Japanese, I was just looking to practice with someone, but that's cool too. ;) My friend recently leant me a whole bunch of Anime and now 'I'm deeply, hopelessly in Love' with them. (Ok, horribly bad Padme mock right there, but I couldn't help it. goes off to gag myself) I'm not really into Yu-Gi or Yu Yu or any of the other more kiddie shows. I like a number of the others that they don't show on Cartoon Network right now. I even have ventured into the Anime Fandom now. sigh And I'm thinking of using a new penname, Arldetta-san, ;) for when I really get into posting my fics for them and some of my other more risqué things. So we'll see how that goes. As far as the JA books, Yoda didn't meddle like this (at least as far as we know because it was never discussed.) but I thought that he must have. I can't see no one wanting Obi. That's just blasphemous. I wish I could have had this chap up last week, but bad internet connections and going away for the weekend have kept me away. Hopefully, next week I'll be able to post again. ;) Thanks as always!! You rock! :D

Snow-Glory – Well, thank you for taking the time to read and review!! Better late than never, eh? And I hear you, sometimes a break from a genre is a good thing. I know I did for a while, even if I was still writing SW. I'm glad you likey. And that will be some read when I do finish. Right now on Word with this chap, my fic will be 183 pages. And we're not at the end yet! And yes, he is being torn apart piece by piece, but hey, would we want it any other way. ;P We'll just have to wait and see if it all turns out for Obi. But that may be a while coming yet. Thanks again!!! :D

Delphine Pryde – This chap was hopefully better, but Next is back to the Angst. The sequel to this should be less angsty and a bit more dramatic and I'm not talking over the top but more serious and working through things. At least if I ever make it to the sequel. sigh dang muse. Thanks again!! :D

A 29467 – Well, I'm happy you found it again. This little fic has definitely taken off. I love toying with emotions. It's my favourite past time. ]:) Thank you very much!! I hope you come back for more. ;) :D

Shan – Oh my friend. Life's just gotten too crazy anymore. I didn't get that second job, and we can chat about that later if you want. But even still, my mind's been all over the place and it's been really hard to focus. So we'll see what happens. I would love to have you beta still, but I am much more in need of Shades. :p So please post soon! That said, thanks. I do so enjoy playing with emotions. They are so irrational and turbulent and just wonderful to watch. Angst Queen, thanks. It is my life. ]:D And giving Obi a break would just cramp my style. :p hehe. Well, at least not in this fic anyway. Hopefully the sequel won't be nearly this traumatic. Hope to see you again real soon. :D Thanks for everything chicky!!!!! :D

And that's all folks. THANKS again everyone for reading!! I love you guys. And one last plea for reviews. a-hem Please review!!!!! Thank you! ttfn. ;D


	31. Chapter 30: Bare All Truths

Chapter 30: Bare all Truths

__

"I'm too far from home, it takes far too much energy.  
I cannot afford to, no one will ever see me.

These excuses, how they're so familiar  
They've kept me blocked, they've kept me small  
They've kept me safe inside my shell.

Bringing these into the light shakes their foundation   
and clears my sight   
And now my imagination is the only thing that limits the bar   
and it's rise to the heights." Excuses (Alanis Morrisette – So Called Chaos)

A guard came to stand next to him and motioned for him to rise. Glancing over at Guillaume, who nodded, Obi-Wan got to his feet. Still bound he was lead over to the witness chair. The tension in the Courtroom rose tenfold in the silence. Looking directly at the youth, Sauro's booming voice shattered the quiet but in the same moment fueled the tension. "You have heard what the others have said. And there have been some variations of what happened on both the _Koska_ and the _Zenah_. Now I want to know, are you a 'Jedi' who tells the truth? Or are you going to deny it all like a common criminal?"

Obi-Wan sighed and cast his gaze down. "Why deny something that has already been confessed?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I already told Mister Griven, Padawan Bant, Master Jinn and Master Gallia, as well as Official Martorana and Mister Tavis that I killed Kiiv Griven." Obi-Wan glanced at each in turn as he spoke. "It was an accident but that still doesn't change the fact that a man is dead because of me." When he spoke his tone was somber and abnormally calm.

Sauro turned away disgusted for a moment before spinning back around to glare at the boy. "I can't believe you can sit here so calmly and talk about death. A death that _you_ caused. Are you going to tell me next how remorseful you feel about it?" The man crossed his arms as he waited for the answer.

"I could, but you would not believe me."

"And what makes you think so?"

"You already hold a grudge against me because of my Jedi background. Even if I were innocent, you would not believe me."

Sauro took a threatening step forward. "Are you accusing me of neglecting my position as a Barrister because of a personal vendetta?"

"No," Obi-Wan met the man's gaze squarely, "but it is your vendetta that brought you here to make sure that I suffer." Then in an even softer voice, he added, "Not that I mind."

The pair battled wills. Sauro was furious that he was blatantly accused by the rogue before him of his private war. Even though many already knew of his dislike, the fact is, that he had never been accused outright in the middle of a trial before. Never in his career had one person riled him up so much. Inwardly, he agreed with the boy on one point. He wanted him to suffer, especially now after this humiliation. He was about to voice the contrary in order to keep face, but he was abruptly cut off.

"Arbitrator, I object to this tangent." Guillaume had been watching very closely and when the discussion began taking a turn for the worse, he hoped he could find a way to intervene. With Obi-Wan's current state of mind, he worried that the boy may try to dig his own grave. And this direction could very well give him the opportunity to do so. So, Gi cut it off before it could get too far. "We are here for specific reasons not to hear about Sauro's grudge. And this conversation could escalate into something that could be detrimental to my client's case."

"Agreed." Osei-Tutu nodded her head. "Could you please focus on the trial, Sauro?"

The heated man took a calming breath before answering. "Of course, Arbitrator." Sauro turned away to collect his thoughts. He needed to refocus the court back on to the pirate, yet still manage to make his point. When he came up with a new agenda, he looked back at Obi-Wan. With a dark grin, he began, "Let's start from the beginning. When were you accepted into the Jedi Order?"

A little taken aback by the new line of questioning, Obi answered with a hint of hesitation. "I was an infant at the time, but I believe that I was just under a year."

"Did you enjoy being a Jedi?"

"It was my life," his voice cracked, he couldn't help it. Swallowing, he continued, "I knew no other. I thought it would be my future…" Obi's gaze dropped down to his hands, where he saw the binders. His heart skipped a beat, and in that instant he couldn't believe what was happening to him. Could it truly be that his fate would be decided in this place? The answer was denied when Sauro's harsh voice cut through his thoughts snapping his head back up.

"So you are bitter at being rejected?"

"Wouldn't you be? We are led to believe our entire childhood that we will become Jedi Knights. And to find out that that dream was all just a lie, I can't even tell you how much that hurt. Becoming a Jedi Knight was the only thing I ever wanted."

Satisfied with the honest response, he stated, "You were disappointed with the decision to cast you aside."

"No," Obi-Wan shook his head slowly, "I wasn't disappointed." The odd tone used was a mixture of too many emotions to name. But it was this strange mix that caused both Qui-Gon and Guillaume to stiffen in their seats. Something told them, Obi-Wan wasn't finished and feared what he would say next. "Disappointment, would imply that I knew that there was a chance I wouldn't be a Knight. But that wasn't really the case. I believed with ever fiber of my being that my destiny was Knighthood. And when that didn't happen… no, I wasn't disappointed, I was hurt and angry. I felt betrayed and alone. But I soon discovered that that was only the beginning of my troubles."

Sauro ignored where that last comment could lead. He had other points he wanted to make. "You say you wanted to be a Jedi Knight. Tell me, what does a Jedi Knight do, in your own words."

Sea-kissed eyes drifted toward the audience, lovingly looking at familiar faces; Adi Gallia, Qui-Gon Jinn, Tahl, Bant, Tola, Siri Tachi, Uulia Uvontra as well as a number of others. "They are Guardians of the Peace. They protect the Republic from those that would destroy it. But more importantly, they help others no matter what the cost. They risk themselves for the sake of the greater good. They serve justice and bring those who oppose it to face the penalties…."

"Stop." Sauro's hand flew up. Slowly, he made his way back in front of the youth. "Do you hear yourself? Do you hear what it is you are saying?"

The murky depths moved to regard the barrister. "Yes. That is why I handed myself over to them. I tried to hide away and escape the punishment I deserved because I was afraid. But I knew the instant I realized Jedi were on that ship that I couldn't run away any longer. It was time to face my fears and return to the Republic."

Letting out a sardonic laugh, the prosecutor asked incredulously, "And you think by doing this you can go back and be that Knight you always wanted to be?"

"No." Something in the way it was said caused the man to look at Obi-Wan directly, something darker in the young man's tone. "That dream is dead to me now. If I'm lucky I'll be allowed to live. And if that happens I will gladly settle down somewhere and be a perfect subject of the Republic. If not, I won't have to worry any more about my future."

The dark undertone bled through the room. Sauro allowed a wicked grin to grace his features as he stepped ever closer to the youth. Resting his hands on the banister, he said, "That's even if you get that far. You still have to deal with the punishment issued here. Do you know what the sentence is for your various crimes?" Obi-Wan shook his head no. "The theft and assault alone could put you away for up to a year. Murder is up to 3 years. And if by the end of that time you are not _reformed_ you are terminated."

Obi-Wan's grim expression never changed. In truth, he would have much preferred them to forego the reformation period and get straight to the termination. But he knew that would never happen. The end wouldn't come so easily for him.

Sauro seemed content with the lack of retort for the moment and moved on, "So how long have you been with the Pirates?"

Sighing, Obi replied, "Almost immediately after I was dismissed from the Order." Afraid that they were going to drag his captivity into the light, he steeled himself for the coming storm. Only it didn't come, well not in the way he expected anyway.

"Did you begin helping them on their raids right away? Or did you at least wait a while before joining in?"

Obi-Wan turned hurt eyes up. He had assumed that everyone knew of what happened when he was first stolen away. But the way these questions were asked implied that he had immediately decided to turn to piracy. Confused, his voice sounded a bit constrained now. "No. I was their prisoner first."

"Prisoner?" Sauro sounded surprised as if this was the first he had heard about it. "What happened that changed that?"

"The original Captain died in the midst of a raid. The First Mate assumed command and freed me. He never agreed with the previous Captain's methods and was quick to change things."

Slamming his hands down on the banister of the witness chair, his gaze bore into the rogue, "Then why didn't _he_ stop pirating? Or better yet, why didn't _you_ make him stop?"

Obi-Wan flinched involuntarily at the sudden moves. Still off balance from the previous questions, he fumbled for his excuses. "It was the only thing they knew how to do. How could I change their minds? At least, over time we were able to stop the killing. Mister Griven's death was the first in years."

"But terrorizing people, destruction and property theft are still acceptable?" Sauro's voice raised a notch.

"Of course not." Obi-Wan feebly tried to defend. "But I can't make them stop just because I said so, no matter how much I wanted to. Togorians are a wary people to begin with. I had to convince many of the others that I was not a threat before they would accept me as one of their own."

But Sano wasn't convinced, he was determined to drive the point home. "So that made the mayhem acceptable?"

"No!"

"You willingly caused others harm. You willingly robbed and harassed innocent victims. That doesn't sound very _Jedi_-like."

"No, it wasn't like that. I usually didn't get in the middle of the raids. I only guided them through the ships and watched out for any threats."

Cynically, Sauro demanded, "And that makes your involvement any less guilty?"

"No." Finally, the boy conceded in a timid voice. He realized that there was no denying the fact that as long as he assisted the pirates in their raids, he was still guilty of the crimes they committed.

"So you admit that you did in fact willingly participate and cause people harm."

"In a way," automatically his mind spoke trying to convince himself that he wasn't totally at fault here. He flinched at the animosity of the voice that followed.

"Yes or no!"

"Yes." Obi-Wan stared down at his hands again.

Now that he got what he wanted, Sauro straightened. Turning away he looked at the Panel. "You said before that you were not able to stop them from raiding, correct?" He didn't wait for an answer but kept going. "So instead, you join them. Now I have to wonder, as I am sure others must as well, why did you not run away from them after you were freed? Or possibly, if you had assisted them to save your own neck, maybe try escaping on one of the ships and bringing these criminals to Justice as a Jedi should?" From a distance, Sauro's piercing glare bore into the youth. These were valid questions and everyone awaited the boy's response.

Obi-Wan sat there for a while trying to formulate his answer. In all honesty, he didn't fully have one that made sense to everyone else. Heck, in many ways, it still didn't make sense to him. He just knew he couldn't come back. At last, he managed to say, "I wanted to stop them. And I did think about coming back, but I couldn't."

"Why not?"

"I told you already. There was nothing to come back to." The young man gave him the easiest explanation. It was definitely the primary reason, but not the _only_ reason. Even still, he was starting to get frustrated, mostly at himself for not being able to define his reasons but also at the barrister who was hell-bent on his destruction.

"You're so sure? I thought the Jedi were a forgiving lot. I guess that assumption is wrong. So you join a murderous crew of pirates and grant them your loyalty instead."

"That's not true. The Jedi do forgive. I will always be thankful for the Jedi and their teachings but the Togorians were the ones to save me. And they may have been murderous in the beginning but they have given that up because they wanted to change. Keeping them safe is the least I can do for them."

"So, you _are_ protecting them even now." Another foul smirk curled his lips. Sano egged the youth on, "You know, if you helped us bring the Pirates in for prosecution we'll go easier on you. Even give you over to the Jedi."

Obi-Wan shook his head, a look of steely determination on his face. "Never. I will not betray them."

"But you betrayed the Jedi when you attacked their ship. How do you live with yourself and your twisted hypocrisy? I thought you wanted to be a Jedi, but you ignore your training so that you can help Pirates! Criminals have gained your devotion and you dare sit here and pretend that that is perfectly acceptable. Well, boy, it's not. You will pay for your crimes. And in time, so will they." Abruptly he turned away from the youth not even giving Obi-Wan the opportunity to counter. "I'm finished for now Arbitrator. He's your witness, Tavis."

Guillaume was agitated to say the least. As expected, Sauro neglected many aspects that should have been considered. But fortunately, he was prepared and ready to bring everything to light. "Thank you, Sauro." The politeness of his tone belied the disgust beneath it. Rising, he walked over to where Obi-Wan sat. He leaned in close so that only Obi-Wan would hear. "I'll try not to keep you up here for too much longer. And I beg forgiveness for anything I am about to do."

The rogue glanced up at the man, the confusion evident. But he said nothing and only gave a slight nod. Gi half smiled and stood up straight. "Honoured jury, I'm sure you have noticed that Mister Sauro's prosecution is rather one sided. I think there are a few things you need to know before passing any judgement." He looked over at the quiet youth. "Obi-Wan, may I ask why you will not turn your fellow pirates in?"

Tentatively, Obi answered, "They are not just comrades but my family now."

"Oh?" Gi pondered aloud, his tone sounding more curious than questioning. "But you are obviously human. How could _they_ be your family?"

Remembering what the man advised him before this whole mess began, Obi-Wan told the truth. "When I was freed, I was - not well - and they took care of me. Eventually I was regarded as one of the clan. And as one of the clan we become family." The gentler tones of his barrister calmed him enough to speak softly again.

"So Pirates can be compassionate and care about such trivial things like family." Guillaume regarded the Panel thoughtfully, emphasizing a point. Apparently, Obi-Wan thought he was confirming with him because he answered.

"They are people first. Piracy is a means of income, obviously not the wisest choice, but it is not who they are. They love and care for their clan and kin just like any other species. I wouldn't even be here if not for them."

"And why is that?"

"Like I said, I wasn't - well - when I was freed."

"You were on the verge of death, weren't you?" Obi's gaze dropped and he nodded. He knew now that that horrible time was about to be revealed to some extent. Hoping to get past this quickly, Obi-Wan sat quietly, unwilling to look anyone in the eye. Guillaume continued, "You mentioned being a prisoner. I can bet that that wasn't a pleasant experience. Am I right?" Another nod. "Did they beat you while you were a prisoner?" Obi-Wan stiffened at this. He wasn't exactly sure where this was all leading but he was starting to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. His heart raced and beat harshly against his ribs.

"Was it only one person who abused you?" Gi tried to be as gentle as he could. He knew that this topic was something his client was not so eager to discuss. Still, he had a plan, he just hoped it would pay off in the end.

Somehow finding his voice he answered, "Mostly…."

"How do you mean _mostly_? It should just be a yes or no answer." There was no hint of reproach in the question, just a need for clarification.

"Captain Drrov generally punished me, but there were circumstances that allowed others to - discipline - me too."

"Certain circumstances? Punishment? Discipline? It sounds to me that not all the violence was random. Is it possible they made you do things you didn't want to do?" Obi-nodded slowly. "Can you tell me what they did?"

It took several minutes for him to steady his voice enough to speak. "I was forced to fight." flash _struggles, pain. The smell of sweat, blood and death. _flash

"Fight? You mean for sport, right?" Obi-Wan nodded unable to trust his voice. "I've heard of some of the black market fights that are arranged. Usually there are no rules, very vicious and very bloody. Some of the combatants come out without limbs or are left with nasty looking scars. But most often, one of the fighters doesn't make it out at all. Isn't that true?"

Blue-green orbs sparkled with unshed tears. Still incapable of facing the countless eyes that watched him, Obi-Wan nodded once more. Guillaume went on to say, "Now from my knowledge of Jedi beliefs, it is often stated that killing should be avoided at all costs. If I understand correctly, it would be safe to assume that you were forced to kill during these fights. And as a former Jedi that outcome would have weighed heavily on your soul, is that not also true?" Ginger lashes fell to conceal turbulent seas. The barest hint of a nod answered his question.

"We've all heard the countless testimonies today regarding young Kenobi's character." Guillaume turned to look at the audience giving the youth time to collect himself again. "It seemed to me that still strongly influenced by his Jedi background and his compassion for others, that Obi-Wan must have refused to fight these battles when first commanded. And what happens to disobedient slaves?" Gi asked of no one in particular and promptly answered, "They are punished."

Turning back to look at the silent young man, Gi asked, "Is that part of what you meant by 'punished' and 'disciplined?'"

"yes." The word was spoken so softly that not everyone heard it. Obi-Wan was surprised to hear anything make it past his lips at all.

"But that's not all. I bet that when you finally gave in and fought, you refused to kill your opponent, am I right?"

"yes."

"What happened when you refused to kill?"

"We were beaten." Struggling to keep the memories from surfacing and getting the words past his tightened vocal cords, Obi-Wan answered. "Both myself and the other fighter. But they killed him after. I was kept alive - because of my victory."

Guillaume nodded, sad but knowing of the atrocities that had occurred. Ironically, he had been working on a number of committees that had been established by the Republic to gather as much information about the Black Markets that existed - including the illegal fighting matches. This case, taken on as a favour, ended up providing him with first hand knowledge to confirm all the speculation about such horrors. And it disgusted him to know that all the rumours were true. Taking in a deep breath, Gi brought his attention back to the trial at hand. "How long were you subjected to the cruelties done while in captivity?"

"I'm not entirely sure but I think about 8 months."

"Eight months? Eight months of surviving unspeakable pain and humiliation? Sounds like a very hard life, son." Here he paused. The seasoned barrister glanced around the room. So many subdued expressions were visible in the audience now. It was time. He prayed to any deity that would listen that this would work and that Obi-Wan would forgive him. From the center of the room, Gi moved to look at his client squarely, his face carefully made devoid of emotion. "Obi-Wan, I want you to stand up." Reluctantly, the boy complied, now looking so much younger than before. Next the barrister looked over at the closest guard. "Please remove his binders."

Startled the guard looked from Guillaume to the Arbitrator. There was a sudden murmur from the people in the audience. Gi ignored them and also looked at the Arbitrator expectantly. Osei-Tutu asked, "Are you sure about this?"

"He will not run or cause any trouble. Remember he is here of his own choice. Now please have them remove the binders." The Arbitrator thought for a moment before giving approval. Obi-Wan raised his hands so the guard could release him. Instinctively, he rubbed his wrists. Locking gazes with the man who was meant to save him, Obi-Wan knew he stood on a precipice. Unable to go back but unwilling to go forward. He could see the silent pleading, asking for understanding, in clear brown eyes while the rest of the lawyer revealed nothing. It took an extra heartbeat for his mind to wrap around Gi's command. "Now Obi-Wan, I want you to remove your shirt." The wide-eyed shock on the young man's face would have been comical if not for the seriousness of the situation.

Obi-Wan was so stunned by the order he almost fell back in the seat. Emotions flittered across his face too fast to name. And it seemed like an eternity before he slowly lifted his hands to remove his tunic, it was as if his body was moving of its own volition. His conscious mind had receded deep within himself, an automatic reaction to deal with what was happening. The sudden whispering that filled his ears as the material fell away was deafening. He closed his eyes and tilted his head away from them. It took a full minute for him to realize Guillaume had spoken again. "Come here Obi-Wan. I want the Panel to see."

His movements were sluggish and jerky but eventually, Obi-Wan made his way over to stand directly in front of the eight beings who would decide his fate. He couldn't look at them though and kept his face down and eyes closed. It wasn't that he was embarrassed by his partial exposure. He learned long ago not to worry himself over something so trivial. It was the pity in their eyes that he hated. He could hear the soft gasps and the hushed mutterings of sympathy. The scars that were plainly visible told his pain for him. If his mind didn't deceive him, he thought he heard the deep voice of Mortius Griven whisper to his gods.

Feeling suddenly even more vulnerable, one arm came up crossing his chest to grab his elbow. His head still turned away. Only a few of the Jedi could tell he was trembling slightly under the weight of so many eyes. Gi laid a hand on the boy's back, which made him flinch involuntarily. "You have suffered so much. It's remarkable that you are still alive and sane. But I do have one more question for you. There are so many scars, but none seem to have made it to your face. Is there a reason?" A very slow single nod. "What would that be then?"

His voice was so small that even the Panel had to strain to hear him. "Drrov, he said I would…..said that I could fetch a higher price if I was unmarked." Gi nodded sadly then asked the question that was on everyone's lips.

"Fetch a higher price for what?"

A shuddering breath escaped the thin form. "For a pleasure slave."

Delicately, Gi asked, "Were your… _services_ ever procured?"

"No but………." flash _hands searching, assessing_ flash Flinching, the rogue clenched his eyes closed to banish the memory. "….but he had prospects."

"Thank you Obi-Wan. I think that answers my questions for the moment." Effectively closing the subject, the exact details unnecessary for his propose, Gi guided his client back to his seat. "Please take your place on the stand again." Obi-Wan thankfully scurried back to reclaim his tunic and slip back into it's meager protection. Silence filled the room for long moments. Guillaume looked around to gauge the various reactions. He noted that even the great and mighty Sano Sauro looked a hint whiter. Now that Obi-Wan was situated again he went back to the proceedings. "Obi-Wan, how old are you now?"

"I will be eighteen in 4 weeks."

"And how old were you when you were dismissed?"

"I was two months away from my thirteenth birthday."

"So the bulk of the abuse happened while you were only thirteen years old. That is remarkable. Before you were captured, during your time with the Jedi, you went through many courses about their history and how they deal with Rogue Jedi, correct?"

"Yes, we cover many of the instances in the past when Jedi had turned."

"From some of my research I have been able to find some cases similar to yours in their history. For those that have fallen and been re-captured, they have been severely punished. Some mercifully destroyed. While others are stripped of their Force powers and put into exile. The latter is a very strong possibility for you is it not?"

Obi-Wan nodded reluctantly. The thought of the Force being torn from their existence is a frightening thought for all Jedi. It's one of the reasons they despise the collars so. And this probable outcome had been plaguing Obi-Wan over the past few hours.

Guillaume addressed the Arbitrator one more time. "I have one more favour to ask before I let Obi-Wan go. I ask, for the purpose of a demonstration, that his collar be removed and then replaced a minute later."

"No!" A strained and panicked voice cut through the courtroom. All eyes turned to the suddenly distraught boy, a vivid desperation in sea-change eyes.

With a calm gained from experience, Guillaume managed not to react to the despair. "Why not?"

"I can't….." Throat suddenly dry, Obi-Wan forced himself to swallow. The ex-Jedi was powerless to stop the fear that gripped his heart and squeezed his chest. "I-I can't go through that again. _Please._" His whole body trembled at the thought of having the Force tauntingly returned to him only to lose it again.

Gi closed his eyes and knew how much this was going to torture the youth but there was a purpose behind it. "I am so sorry Obi-Wan, but it needs to be done. For the rest of the galaxy, the concept of the Force is virtually speculation. We don't understand how it effects those who are joined with it. They need to see what happens to a Force-sensitive person when the Force is taken from them."

Sea-washed eyes glistened brightly with quickly forming tears. Obi-Wan's voice sounded tiny again, "please. I beg of you. Don't do it. Please." A tear broke free to trace the rogue's cheek.

Guillaume tried to steel himself against the wretchedness in his client's voice and he found it to be the hardest thing he ever had to do. He looked at the arbitrator. "The collar, please?"

Osei-Tutu locked gazes with Gi. No one moved or spoke in the heartbeats that followed. At last, the green judge looked over at the silently crying young man, and nodded her consent. Automatically, Obi-Wan whipped his head around searching for someone to save him from this nightmare. His gaze finally stopped on the visage of Qui-Gon Jinn. The man had his eyes closed and looked almost as dejected as Obi-Wan. He must have sensed the youth's desperate gape because he looked up.

While they continued to stare at each other, an Official came up behind Obi-Wan and released the collar.

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:o OMG is that a cliffie?? shrug I guess so. I hope you all took my warning in the previous chap seriously. I thought this was rather intense with the subject matter at the end. If you didn't think so, I'm glad but I wanted to play it cautious for those it might have upset. Anyway, I would really like to hear from you all, so please leave a review. I wrote a really emotional and long chap for you in the hopes of getting lots of reviews. So please, please, please, please, please, leave a review. It can even be a one word review. Or a face. Or anything for that matter! Just review please! I love reviews, I get so excited when I see those botfanfictions in my mail box!! They totally make my day and make me eager to write so that I may continue to please my readers. Can you tell I'm not below begging? See I'm on my knees!!! [facecry] Please Review!!!!!! Thank you. :D

Fudge – Wow, thank you so very much. I was actually very worried that I might confuse my readers. Of course it didn't help with the crappy formatting that I failed to notice at first. Anyway, yes Obi's lack of interest is a direct of result realizing everything in his life was for nothing. Now he's just thinking it would be easier if he could just die and get it over with. To live is just so much more painful now. But you are right, the Council session will probably be just as traumatic. I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and stuff!! ;D

Kynstar – Yeah, thanks!! Yup, Yoda is not perfect, ultimate shocker right? Well, I like to think he is still capable of making mistakes. And I'm glad others can see that too. ;) Yeah Griven kinda showed a bit of his true colours, but you must try to remember 'Fear leads to hate. Hate leads to Anger. Anger leads to suffering.' But you are right, they are going to over look his lapse of judgement as it is not his trial but Obi-Wan's. Hope you enjoyed this installment!! :D

K-rock – That's ok. But I sure am glad you reviewed again. :D LOL, I love it. Edumacated! I haven't heard that one in a while. Hmmm, I guess I should try getting back into patience exercises too. Not like they'll do me any good, it's one of my faults. I guess I'll go back to working on FnB for me so I can get more RH. ];D

Amazed – hehe, I still get a kick out of the –san bit. :D Yeah, I liked setting the stage for Obi's turn. ]:D Thanks, I did actually do a bit of research about law stuff. But I'm far from an expert. That stuff usually bores me a lot. Oh well. We'll see if I can squeeze in a scene for you with yoda/qui, but we'll see. Thanks again!! :D

YLJedi – Obi-Wan said it best, "What I told you is true, from a certain point of view." But also, they way we see things can so often be attributed to how our emotions effect our memories. If we are sad we see things one way which would be completely different than if we are happy. And I'm glad the trial went over well, because I was afraid I would confuse people. Happy I didn't. :D I hope the Obi-angst in this chap made up for last. :p And as much as Forsaken and Begotten may end, it will still be far from over. So don't worry too much. :D Thanks!!

Jedi71 – Yeah, Obi's time on the stand was definitely not a good thing. I just hope it was a bit surprising as to how that came to be. And I'm glad you said it, because it definitely fits here. ;) Thanks again for reading! :D

LOTRFaith – Even if they did notice Obi's state of mind. I think many of them would just attribute it to the trial in general. Um, I think you got some of your answers here though. Let me know if you have any more questions and I'll see what I can do to accommodate them. ];) LOL, not many stories I'm afraid. A few, my favourite being our wedding. But you can check out my website for that. Although I have to redo that thing too. sigh Yet another thing to add to my ever growing list of things I have to finish. And another one of my passions. I enjoy so much and just wish I had more time. And when I do get time, it's a matter of motivation or deciding on which aspect to focus on. By the time I get close to deciding my time's up. You answer your other question, yes, I'm a mommy too. My angel will be three two weeks after my b-day next month. I probably should really go back to church, my pastor usually somehow knows exactly what's on my mind and speaks about it. Of course I know the real mastermind behind the coincidence but it really does amaze me either way. But that was a really good point he made. I'll try to keep it in mind and see if I'll ever achieve the second moment. Yes, at least we are both still alive. Of course, over the past few months life has tested us on that regard as well. We've lost a couple family members which has also made us stop and re-think life. So we're going back to that point again where we question life and what we want out of it. Writing has become a very important part of my life. It's a release for me. But I also enjoy it quite a bit. It would be awesome if I could live off of it, but don't see that happening any time soon. Still, we'll se if any of my hobbies come to fruition. Good luck to you as well, and it does make it easier to bear when your not alone. Thanks again for reading!! :D

Snow-Glory – Ack! You snuck in there right at the end. I hope this update was fast enough for you! :p Thanks for reading! :D

Alrighty folks, hopefully I'll be able to get the next chap up quicker. Just keep hoping we get our internet problems squared away soon. And don't forget to REVIEW!!!! :D


	32. Chapter 31: Closing Arguments

Chapter 31: Closing Arguments

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"I can't have it all, I have to, they want me to.  
And I can't let them down, I will never be happy.

These excuses how they've served me so well  
They've kept me safe, they've kept me stuck  
They've kept me locked in my own cell

These excuses how they're so familiar  
They've kept me blocked, they've kept me small  
They've kept me safe inside my shell" - Excuses (Alanis Morrisette - So Called Chaos)

The world around him bloomed, as if a refreshing breeze blew past. The sensations he had taken for granted filled him. If he lived through this nightmare, he vowed to cherish all things, all feelings, all sensations. The group of Jedi shown brightly in his mind. He could feel a tendril of the Force connecting him to Bant, her presence a soothing balm to his soul. He could even feel a thin thread that connected him with Qui-Gon now. He hadn't noticed it before but it felt right, even comforting.

In the corner of his mind's eye he sensed the presence of the others in the room. Their emotions varied. Some still held onto a sliver of anger and frustration. Others were empathetic to his cause. While many of them seemed lost and unable to focus. Obi-Wan himself could not settle on a single feeling. The loving power that flowed through him was intoxicating. And he was addicted to it, like all Jedi. But as much as he craved it, being torn from it's presence scared him to death. The first time was a shock, but he coped despite his injuries. He gladly endured it, if it meant his family's safety. The second, he willingly allowed the change. But this time, this time he neither wanted it nor wished for it.

He prayed to be free of the damn collar once and for all the next time it fell from his neck. Yet that was not the present case. No. He would be subjected to the torture of tasting forbidden fruit before it was ripped from his grasp again. The humiliation of losing what filled him with life but denied death. He would have accepted any form of punishment except this. Pain is tolerable. But not this, not this voidless torment that drove one to despair. Dread filled him, as the pending cruelty loomed ever closer.

Meanwhile, the rest of the courtroom watched in awe at the dramatic change. Once pale and thin cheeks blushed, giving off a healthy glow. Dulled sea-washed eyes sparkled with vibrant colour and the onset of tears. His chest heaved a contented sigh, breathing in more than just air. The subdued youth suddenly looked like life itself had been restored to his slender form. A wary smile played at the corners of tender lips. The tears that clung to ginger lashes finally managed to break free, tracing a line down smooth skin. In a word he looked - beautiful. Not that he looked horrid before. But mere seconds ago he seemed more like a walking corpse, an ghost of the beauty that normally shined through.

Guillaume watched the attendants to gauge their reactions. He was pleased with what he saw. Everything he had planned was coming to fruition and he prayed that it would not all be in vain. He let the minute slip by, biding his time for what must be done. At last, he looked up at Osei-Tutu. "Arbitrator, as you can see the collar had stripped the boy of what his body craves most. Now, you will see what happens when the Force is torn from him. I request that Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn be allowed to assist Obi-Wan should he need it."

"Granted."

Gi looked toward his friend who thanked him with his eyes only. The other Jedi seemed to shrink back in their seats. The Masters had some of the younger initiates leave the room while they prepared to replace the collar. Obi-Wan was permitted to step down and stand just in front of the witness chair. His movements were stiff and tense. But only those closest to him could see that he fought against the tremors that coursed through his body. Tears fell now unchecked from pleading eyes. The last obvious indication that he was battling with his fear was the nibbling of his lower lip. He looked the perfect image of desolation.

The wait was positively unbearable. Qui-Gon watched Obi-Wan less than half a foot in front of the rogue. An Official came up next to them and held up the collar. The clean metal object reflected the artificial light. As it came into view, the youth clenched his eyes tightly. Obi-Wan wasn't sure he would be able to stand for much longer, his knees already turned to jelly. Qui-Gon whispered empty assurances, but they only elicited a soft sob from the boy. Obi-Wan tried desperately to keep his heart and breathing normal but found them increasing against his will. He flinched when he felt the coolness touch his neck.

"please. please not again. not again." He didn't even know he was pleading aloud. But the guard hesitated at the misery in his voice. He looked up at the barrister. Gi's eyes betraying the steely look on his face, he nodded in confirmation to the silent question. The guard prepared to lock the device in place.

Virtually every single person in the room held their breath. For those that knew what was to come, it was a torturous moment. And for the rest, who had no idea what to fully expect, they sat in absolute fascination. The soft sound of the device locking was almost deafening in the silence. But it was abruptly followed by the heart-wrenching sob that tore from the boy's throat. The figure fell to his knees, limp in the arms of the Jedi. They watched as he struggled to remain conscious.

A number of the Jedi sniffled and turned away from the wretched sight. The tall Knight clutched the boy to him, rocking gently. No words that escaped the Jedi could ever ease the suffering in the young man's soul. Hands clung frantically at the cream tunic, seeking what little comfort he could attain in the embrace. Unashamed of the spectacle he was making, Obi-Wan wept.

Cutting through the sounds of agonized cries, Guillaume locked gazes with the Arbitrator. "I have no further questions." His voice soft but steady.

Many minutes passed. All eyes concentrated on the shaking form of the rogue. At the right angle, some could even see the clear lines of moisture on the Knight's face. Obi-Wan no longer had that bright healthy glow of moments before. His body resembled that of an empty shell, deflated and hopeless. Pale and miserable, the transformation back to vile criminal shackled like the beast he was assumed to be, Obi-Wan slowly stilled. As the last few gasping whimpers broke free, the scene was disrupted once more.

A rather tentative melodic voice announced, "There will be a short recess. Give us time to collect ourselves again. And then I will ask for the Barristers' final words. Dismissed." It took a few seconds before the first person moved but soon others followed. Many of those in the audience looked a shade paler than before and needed to use the 'freshers.

Qui-Gon stayed on the floor cradling his would-be Padawan. His clear blue gaze reflecting the heartache inside. Guillaume cautiously made his way over to them and knelt down. When the room was mostly empty, he cleared his throat. Gently, he said, "I am so sorry for having to put you thought this Obi-Wan. And I know my apologies will never make up for what I have done, but I had no other choice. If we have the slightest chance to win this fight, then I have to use _every_ tool available to me. If….if we somehow do manage to work a miracle, I hope someday you will be able to forgive me." Gi placed a hand on the boy's arm and bowed his head.

A few moments passed before a hand covered the barrister's. Curious, Gi looked up to find sad blue-green eyes staring at him through half opened lids. In that instant his breath caught in his chest. There was no anger, no hate, no accusation in those eyes. Just a profound acceptance and understanding that poured out. No words were uttered as the last hiccuping sobs shook the youth, but Gi knew he had already been forgiven. He dropped all the way to the floor now. A single tear rolled down his face, one he hadn't even realized formed. His hold on the boy's arm tightened. Swallowing, he muttered, "Thank you."

A weak smile curved young lips. Guillaume couldn't help but smile in return. The trio stayed that way for several more seconds when Gi said, "I think it's time to get you off the floor." He looked at Qui-Gon who nodded. Between them, they lifted the young man to his feet. Obi-Wan stood unsteadily, so they helped him to his seat. The barrister looked down at his client. "I'll get you something to drink." Then he hurried off. Now it was just Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan.

Qui-Gon moved around the youth and took up Gi's chair for the moment. Leaning forward elbows on knees, his hands clasped together and head bowed, he tried to figure out where to start. Feeling foolish he asked, "How are you feeling?"

Obi-Wan turned in his seat away from the Knight. Half curled in the chair he answered, "I'm - adjusting." Silence passed between them.

"Obi-Wan, you seem different. What happened this morning - or last night - that has caused you to change?" The Knight had noticed the alteration in stance and appearance immediately. Obi appeared to be much more despondent than before and he knew _something_ must have caused this change.

Obi-Wan sighed and closed his eyes. "Let's just say…. I had a rude awakening."

"What type of awakening?" Qui-Gon wanted to understand what had troubled the youth so. But he would get no answers now.

Sinking further into the chair, Obi-Wan whispered, "I'm tired. So tired." The psychological wounds were too fresh for him to discuss right now. Instead, he just wanted to go back to sleep. His body overtaxed by the emotional and physical stresses placed on it. Worn out, he simple existed in the world.

The Knight moved his chair closer so that he could massage the back he faced. Guillaume came in then with a drink and offered it to the rogue. Obligingly, Obi took the cup in a shaky hand and sipped at it before placing it down on the table. He leaned back into the chair and waited for the proverbial boot to drop.

Shortly after, people filed back into the room for the session to continue. Lastly, the Arbitrator and Panel came back in. "At this time, I would like to allow both barristers the chance to speak their final concerns before sentencing. Mister Sauro, you may go first."

"Thank you Arbitrator." Sano Sauro stepped out to the center of the courtroom and stood thoughtfully. He seemed to be considering his words very carefully. When he spoke, his voice was steely and confident. "Honoured Panel, you're choice is not an easy one. I know I have never envied your position. How can one decide what is the proper punishment, who's life is more valuable, can you put a figure on time or love? It is often said that family is the most precious commodity. And in many respects I agree. I ask you to remember that as you decide this young ruffian's fate.

"Remember that he has negatively touched the lives of thousands of innocent people. But most specifically, he has done grievous harm to one particular family, the Griven's, by his dastardly actions. He talks of loyalty to his _family,_ both Jedi and Pirate alike, but they are empty sentiments. He has no honour left in him to claim such loyalties. He has willingly and purposefully injured and stolen from so many. If he accepts his fate, then you should accept sentencing the proper fate allotted for him. Do not be swayed by the theatrics that my counterpart has shown you.

"The fact of the matter is that Obi-Wan Kenobi has committed crimes - felonies - injustices against his fellow Republicans. He has taken someone's life. He has assaulted and taken precious belongings. Those are the truths that should be considered. Those are the realities that you must see. Do not take pity because of a few scars. Background - life - may guide our footsteps, but it is the choices we make consciously that we can be tried for. His story may have been sad but his decision to stay and help the pirates was his and his alone. Thus, any actions that have occurred since that moment have consequences. And those consequences include just punishments.

"It may be true that as a Jedi initiate, he will have to face another trial and more punishment, but he is no longer a Jedi. Right now he is a subject of the Republic like you and me. A subject that must adhere to the laws we pass and the penalties for breaking the guidelines set. His Jedi heritage is irrelevant to that fact. The only thing you should consider is that as a Jedi, he understood what he was doing and the consequences. Obi-Wan Kenobi has blatantly ignored our rules and therefore should be sentenced to the fullest extent of the law to repay the damage he has done. It is your duty to uphold what we hold dear and make him pay for his crimes.

"I thank you all for your time. I leave the matter in your capable hands now." Sano bowed to them and then turned and bowed to the Arbitrator. A wicked grin darkened his features as he turned and looked at the accused. During his speech he would point to emphasize his words and the harsh glare often bore into the young man. But he still felt confident that his words would achieve the results he wanted.

After Sauro reclaimed his seat, Osei-Tutu looked over at Guillaume. "Mister Tavis, you may now counter."

Placing a reassuring hand on his client's shoulder, Gi stood and claimed center stage. "Thank you Arbitrator. And thank you ladies and gentlemen of the Panel. For once, I must admit that I agree with Mister Sauro; I don't envy you right now. I have been in law for years now and it has become my life. The struggle and plight of my clients is a difficult one. But as a barrister I am able to advise and help them to the best of my abilities. If I were an Arbitrator I would listen with an open mind, keeping my opinions as unbiased as I could. But as part of a Jury, opinions are all that matter. You must take fact and weigh the differences between them and the possible future based on your decision.

"And it is your decision that I beg you to consider carefully. Obi-Wan Kenobi in many respects is a quandary to us. I cannot deny the fact that he has willingly committed crimes against the citizens of the Republic, but I can see that not all of his decisions were his own. It's quite possible, given the circumstances that any one of us could have followed the same path. As a young boy he was abandoned by all he loved. The trials of his life have already taken their toll. You have seen the scars both physically and emotionally that he bears. His punishment was dealt before the crimes could be committed.

"No one faults him for the desire to survive in the face of horror. Yes, his decision to aid the very pirates that took him captive is troublesome. But he knows this and has come here specifically to place himself in this court, before your judgement. He didn't have to do that. He didn't have to pilot a dying ship to safety if it meant he would only be saving the one's to condemn him. He didn't have to barter passage and lie to his family in order to bring those people back to a world where they could get home. He didn't have to turn himself in at all. Hurt and injured, he knew what must be done.

"As much as he loved his family, he knew he could no longer hide from justice. He left his family, his home, his very _heart_ to pay for his crimes. Now tell me, if he is a cold blooded killer that cares naught for his victims, why would he do this? Why would he have bothered trying to change the pirate's methods at all? There have even been reports recognizing the alterations in the Togorian Pirate plague that's spanned a decade. Years ago, while the previous Captain had control, the very thought of traversing those corridors and territories sent shivers up the spine. Now they are more a nuisance than a real threat. And even the raids he was aiming to end. He has strived to make those passages safer from the inside when no one was able to stop them before.

"Now I ask you to consider this carefully, no matter if he was dismissed or not, he is Jedi. His very soul is Jedi. His thoughts, his reasoning, everything about him _is _Jedi. Their teachings have influenced his motives and brought him back to the Republic today. And it is they who should bestow his just punishment. Any sentence we could give would be horrible for him, that's true. Our prison would not just be freedom lost behind metal walls, but also an imprisonment of the soul for as long as the collar remained on. But that is nothing compared to what they can do. The Council alone should have the authority over his life. And it is highly possible that they could claim it from him. But that decision would be mercy compared to what they would more than likely do.

"If the Council deems it just, they could strip him of his heart and soul. You have been given a taste of that possibility when the collar was removed and replaced. And with our imprisonment, as much as he may be without the Force, there is still the slim possibility that it would be restored to him. But if the Jedi Council rips his Force Ability away from him, then that hope is gone forever. For someone who has already suffered so much, that future is frightening. But it is their judgement he has returned to face, not ours. Please, consider all the facts, all the possibilities with an open mind and heart and I am sure you will make the proper choice. Thank you." Thoughtfully, Guillaume bowed to the Panel and Arbitrator then went back to his seat.

The courtroom was oddly silent, the words of both barristers on their minds. Osei-Tutu was about to address the small jury when another movement caught her eye. Curious, she watched as the figure stood. "Is there something you would like to add, Mister Kenobi?"

Having sat through both speeches, Obi-Wan found the strength and will to stand. All this time he had been resigned to accept fate and sit back quietly. But the herald of doom stood over his shoulder and he felt compelled to speak before he lost his chance. "Yes, Arbitrator, if it would be permissible I would like to say a few things before my future is decided."

"Granted, but please be brief."

Slowly, the young man made his way to the center of the room. But instead of looking at the Arbitrator or the Panel, he turned to look at the audience. "Five years ago my life was turned upside down. Five years ago I thought my path was clear. I should have paid more attention to my lessons, because then I would have known that life has a way of changing in the fraction of an instant. In the beginning, I didn't know why I clung onto life, all there was, was pain and suffering. But then I started to live for my Patron, I found it easier to survive as long as it pleased someone else. Maybe somewhere deep down, I was still living for my old life, for my friends that were more like family in the Jedi." His gaze locked with large bulbous eyes, and Bant smiled. "Then when everything changed again, I lived for my Togorian family.

"But I realized that I have never lived for myself, it has always been for others. Not that I'm complaining, because I knew long ago my life was never my own. It belongs to the people I love. And in that I have failed you all. By my actions I have handed over that right to this court. By foregoing my training and lacking the will to stop the atrocities I have lost the right to receive your love. And for that I must beg your forgiveness. I never meant to hurt you or lose your respect. I never meant to harm anyone. Mister Griven," he turned to regard the pilot, "I don't blame you for what happened on the _Zenah._ It was a reaction to the pain I caused. I will never be able to reconcile your loss, so I hope you will be satisfied with whatever decision the Panel makes."

Now Obi-Wan turned to look at the 8 beings who sat quietly in judgement. "I'm not going to beg forgiveness from you all for what I have done. I'm not going to ask for sympathy or plead for my life. What I am going to ask you for is justice, one that is unmarred by the opinions of the barristers. My life as a Jedi or a Pirate is inconsequential to my crimes. Do not allow Mister Sauro's vendetta or Mister Tavis' acquittal to the Jedi dissuade you from what you must do. Do what you feel is right and I will happily accept your verdict." He bowed deeply and then straightened. Then he put his wrists together and held them out in front as a demonstration of his submittal. "Please replace the binds, until it is deemed otherwise unnecessary."

With a small gesture of her hand, a guard came up to put the binders back on the youth. Once that was done, Osei-Tutu watched the youth, "Have you finished with what you wanted to say?" At his nod, she looked over at the Panel. "Now that all the testimony has been given and all remarks are complete, I ask the foreman of the Panel to step forward and advise this Court of your decision."

Seven members looked to one man who sat at the end. The dark haired gentleman cleared his throat and stood. "Arbitrator, it is this Panel's request that the final verdict be postponed until tomorrow morning so that the subject can be discussed fully."

Nodding, Osei-Tutu replied, "The Panel's request has been granted. This Court will reconvene tomorrow morning when the fate of Obi-Wan Kenobi will finally be decided."

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I know, I know another cliffie, right? Well, tough! :p Now tell me, did you honestly believe you were going to get the verdict so quickly?? I didn't think so. Anyway, I'll be doing my best to get next chap done by next fri. Some encouragement would definitely be nice. My muse _LOVES_ encouragement. And the best way to do that is by submitting a review!! That's right. Just click on that button and let me know how I'm doing. I always listen to my readers, so please give me your thoughts because then I can make sure to explain things clearer if need be. ;) Thanks for reading!!! :D

Fudge – Oh good, I was worried I may have been hyping it up too much. But I wanted to warn people just in case. hehe. I really do love playing with emotions. They are so complex but no matter what there's no way we can mistake them. They are so much a part of our lives that we need to allow those emotional releases of all types. Sad. Happy. Whatever. ;) Yeah. :8} I kinda liked putting Obi through all that torment because watching him get all flustered is so much fun. :D Wow! Thank you! With this fic I set out to do my best, best writing, best story, best characterizations that I could. If I achieved even one of those I would be happy. And thus far I'm vewry happy with the way this story has progressed. And I get so excited when I know that I've managed to make you feel. ;) Thanks again!!

OptiMoose – I told you this was much better than my other junk. ;) Glad you were able to catch up. ;)

Delphine Pryde – Indeed! I really, really want that as a Bumper sticker. ;)

YLJedi – Thanks! Well, I'm glad I was able to deliver a good shot of Obi-Angst for you. And yes, cliffies are double-edged but sometimes definitely worth it. There are a lot of jobs out there that are toughter than we realize. When writing Gi, I knew that his position would be difficult. And I'm glad I was able to convey that. ;) Thanks for the vote of confidence!! :D

LOTRFaith – LOL, yeah, well it was emotionally draining when writing it too. It was hard to keep the tears at bay while writing his suffering, because I knew I was the real reason he had to go through all of that. Oh, I know Sauro's part could have been worse but I think that Gi's strategies were horrible enough that I didn't want to completely over load Obi. hehe, Sometimes I have a hard time staying awake for church but fortunately my name is not in the bible so I don't have to worry about that kinda stuff. Within the past year, we lost two family members, one was really hard to deal with, the other not nearly as bad. And my first remembered exposure to death was when a high school friend committed suicide in 10th grade. That was hard too but it's been almost ten years since then. Good luck with your family, and if you need anything let me know and I will help. Yup, writing is definitely therapeutic. Don't worry my web site stinks right now too. Hopefully, I'll have time to get back to that too. ;) Well, you have a good night and all. ttyl. :D

Amazed – You know it will take me a while to get over the –san thing. But that's ok, cause that's cool! ;) Yes, my other hobby is reader torture. Did I do well?? Besides cliffies were designed to make you want to come back for the rest of it. I'm just feeding that desire. ;P Well, even if all of it was somewhat predictable, II hope that it was written different enough for it not to be boring. Thanks! Domo! ;)

Snow-Glory – That's ok. I just didn't want to leave you out. ;') Angst should really be my middle name. ]:) I'll have to check into that. :D Thanks again!! :D

Elizabeth Goode – Thank you very much!! :D I'm so happy you are enjoying it. :)

Shan – it's ok, I know how busy you are now. So it's ok if you haven't read in a bit. Thank you as always!! I'm so excited that you enjoyed this chap. I know I wrote Obi more-or-less the way I would have handled everything. So I'm glad his reactions were not way off base. Take your time. And we'll have to chat sometime later. ;)

Thanks again everyone for reading!!

Quick note: I apologize for any really messed up replies or such. I'm really tired and can barely keep my eyes open. Well, I'm off to catch some z's. Later!! :D


	33. Chapter 32: Descent of Twilight

Chapter 32: Descent of Twilight

__

"Don't cry out loud  
You've gotta bear your cross  
But never dream too loud  
And you're tired  
Tied to the next time  
You realize  
Your crimes" – January Friend (Goo Goo Dolls – Dizzy up the Girl)

Oblivious to the day's proceedings, the cityplanet bustled with life during the evening hours. Every minute a new life started while another ended. Life's circle rolled on as normal. Nights were usually carefree and boisterous for many of the inhabitants, but for a certain few this night was pregnant with doubts and fears. To those few involved the day had been an emotional torrent that left them drained and unsure. Every decision had consequences, be they good or bad. And it was a decision that would change the course of fate for them. As they awaited the final outcome, many of them would not find the peace they craved.

For one being in particular the coming verdict hovered over him like a cloud of doom.

The soft hiss of the door opening seemed not to disturb the occupant inside the small room. Cautiously the visitor stepped in to allow the door to close. For long minutes, noone moved, uncertain if coming was a good idea at all. But just the sight of the huddled figure dispelled all doubts. Taking a calming breath, she took the few steps to reach the corner and slowly knelt down on the ground. Unable to form the proper words, she felt compelled to place a hand on hunched shoulders.

Startled by the unexpected touch, his head rose up from it's alcove of arms and legs. Confused blue-green gems stared at her for a moment before deciding the vision before him was real. "What are you doing here?" His cultured tones a hair above a whisper.

Looking down for a moment before glancing toward the door, the Calamaran answered in an equally soft voice, "Master Uvontra was able to arrange a quick visit. She's waiting for me outside."

Silence filled the gap between them. The young man seemed lost in thought once more. Another minute slowly passed before she found the courage to speak again, "Obi-Wan…I……" A nervous giggle escaped her, "I don't even know where to begin. There's so much I want to say, but somehow now that I'm here it all seems so inadequate."

He watched her with vacant eyes. "You shouldn't have come." Voice now devoid of emotion, he was a blank slate to her. It pained her to see him so empty.

Unconsciously, Bant scooted a little closer to the rogue. "I had to, I had to tell you that we all still love you very much."

Frowning, Obi could no longer hold her gaze. His eyes dropped to the tops of his knees. "You shouldn't be here. You could get in trouble for being here."

"Please, please don't send me away yet." Her heart was breaking. How could the gentle loving boy she had known long ago be gone completely? She had seen glimpses of that lost initiate on the _Zenah_ and the _Norelwind_, and she desperately wanted to see him again. "Please. I don't care about your past, what they made you do. All I care about is you."

"I don't deserve your love any more. I'm no longer Jedi." He tried to shrug away from her gentle touch but he was already trapped in a corner. Besides, as he pulled back she only leaned in closer. Bant was not about to let him go yet.

"Do you honestly think that that matters to me?" Her voice was urgent and filled with passion. "Jedi or not, you will always be Obi-Wan. _Criminal _or not, you will always be _Obi-Wan_. We've all done things we are not proud of, but that doesn't mean we have to stop loving you."

Leaning his head against the wall next to him, the rogue stared out at nothing. "It would be better if you did."

"Why?" The apprentice just couldn't understand what was going through her friend's head. To her it seemed as if he had just given up. "Tell me, please. I need to know because I have to explain it to Garen and Reeft and just about everyone else who mourned your death." She waited patiently for him to respond, but he didn't.

Obi-Wan sat there retreating back within himself. The distant sea-misted gaze lost some of its brilliance as his mind contemplated other things. Bant continued to wait to see if he would ever answer her question. She watched as he seemed to be looking further and further away, far beyond this cell at something she couldn't see. She thought she had lost him again when he finally spoke. But what came out was not at all what she expected. "How are they?"

Relaxing to an extent, the Padawan smiled at the tentative question. There was a time long ago when they could hold conversations on all different topics without any rationale to the change in the topics they discussed. She was actually very happy to know that that hadn't changed between them. "They are both well." Quietly, she added as she leaned her head onto his shoulder, "I haven't told them yet that you are here. I was hoping that you would be able to tell them." The sting of tears once more in silver eyes.

"I doubt that will happen," Obi said with a sigh. "Maybe it would be best to let them think of me as dead still. That way they don't have to know what I've become."

"Please don't say such things. We must have faith that you will come back to the Jedi."

"To what purpose?" Too quickly, he asked, but then stopped himself from pushing the subject any further. "No, I'm not going to go through this again. Tomorrow my fate will finally be decided. If they make the correct choice, I hope you will come to visit me from time to time. Who knows maybe in a few years, I'll be able to lead a new life. Maybe I'll become a farmer after all." The weak joke only caused the tears building in large bulbous eyes to fall. Closing his eyes, he slumped further into the corner. "I'm sorry."

They sat in silence for a while. After a time, Bant was able to get her emotions back in check. "It's so unfair. They should never have sent you away. You were meant to be a Jedi."

"It's too late for that now. It's time for me to face up to my crimes."

"I don't want to lose you again. We need you." Her hold on his arm tightened. She feared to let go would mean she would never see him again.

Cautiously, one of the hands on his knees moved to cover the salmon hand on his arm. Obi-Wan attempted to console his best friend. "They have already survived this long without me, I think they'll be able keep on going."

===

"I've been looking for you everywhere, what are you doing here?" She entered the small conference room high up in one of the Temple spires. Sitting in one of the seats, rubbing at his chin sat Qui-Gon Jinn. He didn't even look at her as she entered. Concerned, Tahl walked over to take the seat next to him. They faced out watching the evening traffic. "Uulia just took Bant over to the CSF complex where Obi-Wan is. With the future so uncertain, I thought it would best that she talk to Obi-Wan tonight. I think they both need the support."

She paused, waiting for him to say something but still he was lost in his own thoughts. She allowed the silence to continue for a while until it finally became too much. "What's wrong Qui? You're abnormally quiet. You weren't like this when we first got back, so what's happened?"

For the first time since she arrived, he tore his gaze away from the window and dropped it down to his lap. His whole body tensed and he took a few deep breaths to find his center once more. "I had a talk with Master Yoda."

There was something in the deep baritone that worried her. Leaning forward, searching his leonine features for a hint of what was troubling him, she asked, "And?"

Qui-Gon used both hands to rub his face. "He told me he went to Obi-Wan last night. He also told me what he said to Obi-Wan while he was there." He placed his elbows on his knees and steepled his hands in front of him, the tips of his forefingers resting against his lips.

Tahl knew instantly that whatever the diminutive verdant Master had said deeply effected the Knight. He was always a contemplative man, but it was rare when he avoided a subject with her. They had been friends for so long, there was no topic forbidden between them, yet it was obvious he was reluctant to discuss this. And if it upset the man this much it could only be because it involved Obi-Wan. Cautiously, she prompted, "Is that why Obi-Wan was so distracted today?"

"It is the only reason I can come up with."

Still, he didn't elaborate on the details. It was starting to frustrate her that he wasn't as forthcoming as usual. However, she knew that he needed her to be calm and collected. Tahl continued to observe the Knight. The best thing for both of them right now would be to get it out in the open. Taking a deep breath, she asked, "So? What happened? He must have said something that made you this upset. So, what did Yoda tell you?"

"Yoda revealed to Obi-Wan that he was a very promising student." Qui-Gon leaned back in his seat again and began to absently rub at his chin.

Now Tahl was really confused. "Isn't that a good thing? Doesn't Obi-Wan have the right to know he was special?"

"If the circumstances are right, of course. However, Obi-Wan's mental state was not the best to handle such revelations. While on the _Norelwind_ he asked me - No, _begged_ me to tell him that his suffering was justifiable. That everything he went through during his captivity he deserved because there was some type of evil that was in him that needed to be punished. And that it was that evil that drove him out of the Jedi." Slowly, his hand moved to message the bridge of his nose. She recognized the gesture, he was annoyed with himself now. "All I could say to him was that it was my fault I didn't choose him. And the heartbreak that followed was unlike anything else I have ever experienced."

Tahl mulled over this new information. If Obi-Wan was looking for an answer as to why he was cast away and why the Force had punished him, than the results of Yoda's visit would have adverse affects on the boy. She had seen enough of Obi-Wan's reactions and thought processes to know how devastated he would be. Voicing her thoughts aloud, she said, "So when Yoda told him that he was a promising student it only reinforced the fact he withstood such horrors for no reason at all."

Qui-Gon nodded unable to vocalize his agreement. He was seething beneath the surface, but he wasn't a Knight for nothing. Experience showed him how to keep his emotions in check no matter the cause. The pair sat in quiet contemplation as each worked through their own thoughts and emotions.

Eventually, Tahl scooted her chair closer to him and wrapped her arms around his. Leaning her cheek on his shoulder, she said in a gentle whisper, "It's not your fault."

"What?" Crystal blue eyes looked down but couldn't see past the soft tresses to examine her beautiful features.

"You can't keep blaming yourself for everything that's happened to Obi-Wan." Amazingly, this comment managed to elicit a small smile from the man. Over the years they had become so close, that Tahl always seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. But the half-grin faded quickly as she continued. "There's just too many factors involved to pinpoint one single fault. You didn't choose him and neither did anyone else…."

"That is where you are wrong." Qui cut her off abruptly. Once again the dark tone colored his words.

Lifting her head up, green and gold eyes beseeched him. "Huh? What do you mean by that?" The implications of that statement alone caused her to worry. The desire to dispel the doubt blooming in the depths of her soul filled her. Unfortunately, she would not get the answer she was looking for.

Each word that made it past taunt lips seemed to pain the man. "In my discussion with Master Yoda, he confided in me that other Knights had requested Obi-Wan as a Padawan. But they were turned away."

_It couldn't be true,_ her mind argued. Shaking her head, she said, "I don't understand, why would the Council deny an apprenticeship? If they could see his potential, they should have granted the request."

Suddenly restless, Qui-Gon broke free of her hold and stepped up to the window. Crossing his arms and slipping his hands into the billowing sleeves, he answered, "Not unless a certain troll declined because he was holding out for a specific Knight." He could hear her soft gasp of surprise.

"Oh, Qui, you couldn't have known. And it was foolish of them to let their own ideals get in the way." She thought for a moment then looked back up at her dearest friend with concern in her green striped eyes, "Did Yoda also tell Obi-Wan this?"

"Yes," the voice rough with emotion.

She closed her eyes and finally understood his silent fury. "Force, no wonder he was so numbed today. And having to go through that trial must have only made it worse."

"He lost the will to fight. I believe he is hoping to be executed. Then his pain would finally end."

"It's not fair, Qui. He has suffered so much, if we could only make it up to him somehow."

"What more can we do except give him as much of our support as possible? Even that, he is not ready to accept. You saw him today. He apologized for everything when it is us who should be begging his forgiveness. But he did so with the belief that he was running out of time, that his life would not continue past a few more days. And I dare say that that verdict is still a possibility."

Refusing to lose hope, Tahl stood up to stand next to her fried. "We can't think like that. Your friend Gi has put up a rather compelling argument. There is now the strong chance that Obi-Wan could be released to the Jedi after all. If we lose hope then we have forsaken Obi-Wan again."

A spark lit in sapphire eyes. "I made that mistake once before, I will never allow that to happen again. As long as the verdict does not call for his death, I will do everything in my power to make sure Obi-Wan becomes a Jedi Knight," he said with renewed conviction.

===

Still snuggled together in the corner, Bant sighed. "I won't be able to stay for much longer. I just wish I didn't have to go at all. I've missed you so much and we've already lost so much time."

Obi-Wan patted the hand wrapped around his arm. The calming gesture conveyed more that just touch. His voice gently reprimanded, "You've already been out of water too long. Your skin is getting rubbery, you need to go back."

Fresh tears formed in silver eyes. A sob hiccuped in her throat. "Why do you have to care for others before yourself? You've always made sure that Reeft had enough to eat, Garen didn't take all the blame when he got you in trouble and that I had enough moisture. You never concerned yourself with your own needs. But that doesn't stop us from wanting to repay you. I won't give up on you, Obi. And I know Qui-Gon won't either. You'll see, everyone loves you and we're going to stick with you no matter what that Panel says tomorrow."

"Please, don't get your hopes up too much." His voice rough once more as he fought the emotions burning his soul. Every dream he ever had crumbled before his eyes. It was already a weight too heavy to bear. But to witness the hopes and dreams of others get crushed was worse. If only he could save them the pain. "I don't want you to be too disappointed with their answer."

She closed her eyes for a moment. Suddenly, he voice was firmer, stronger than before. "Think what you want, Obi. But we're going to make sure you get your chance. You deserve better than this. They just need a little more time to see it."

Just then the locking mechanism kicked on. Two pairs of eyes watched as the door slid open to reveal the Koyn soul healer. Uulia gently announced, "It's time to go Bant."

"Yes, Master," Bant answered automatically. Carefully, she got to her feet. Obi-Wan didn't have the strength to follow her. He had been sitting there since the trial adjourned and was now too stiff to move without difficulty. He didn't want her to worry any more than she was over nothing but stiff joints.

Her voice so soothing to the ears, it could lull a baby to sleep, Uulia commanded, "Wait for me at the antechamber, Mys is waiting for you."

"Yes, Master." Stealing one more glance at her friend, Bant finally left.

As soon as she was down the hall, Uulia looked back at Obi-Wan. "You have quite a following. You said at the trial that you've never lived for yourself. I can see how you have done this. So I must ask you a favour. Keep on living for others, your friends need you. The Order needs you. You were lost once and alone, but you don't have to be anymore. No matter the decision, we will all be waiting for you. We will all help you if and when you need it. All you have to do is ask." She turned to leave, as she stood in the door, she paused. "May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan Kenobi." And then she was gone.

Obi-Wan sat there wondering what that was all about. He knew Bant's reasons for being there and was surprised that the Jedi Master would bother with a criminal even if he was once a Jedi. But her final words of encouragement baffled him. But as much as they left him questioning, he realized she had achieved her ultimate goal. She inspired him to not give up, because if he did then he would only be letting everyone down even more. And his sense of selflessness would not permit him to accept defeat as long as he had others that needed him. Cautiously, he went over to the small cot to lay down. Sleep was not as elusive as he thought and was soon drifting along the currents of dreams.

"All rise for Arbitrator Osei-Tutu." A court official announced to the congregation. Once again the petite figure walked into the room, dressed in fine robes. They sat at the same time she did.

Not wishing to delay the verdict any longer, she abruptly started, "This court is now in session. We have come here today to receive the final verdict on the question of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Will the accused please rise." Both Obi-Wan and Guillaume stood at the request. The young rogue was sullen but held himself up proudly. Osei-Tutu barely noticed for she turned to address the Panel next. "Has the Panel reached a decision?"

The foreman stood and replied in a clear, confident voice, "Yes your honour, we have."

----------------------------------------

Mwahahahaha!! I know, I'm evil! But it's just so much fun!! ]:D

Anyway, the good news is, you will get the verdict in the beginning of the next chap. Bad news is, the next chap will be the LAST chapter of _Forsaken and Begotten_. A sequel is already in planning and has the working title of _Reliving Shattered Dreams_, so please keep an eye out for it.

In addition, I would also like to announce my new Yahoo Group that I created for my stories. It will be an open forum where you can discuss my fics and for me to give you updates on chaps. As my muses are so sporadic, and specifically here, there's no way to keep you all informed on what's happening, I decided to create the group. You may even be spoiled with drafts of chapters!!! ;) So if you are interested, the link is in my profile. Thanks again for reading everyone!!! And please continue to submit those **reviews**!! I'm sooooo addicted to them. ;)

Silver-Reaper – Thank you so very much!!! :D I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully, this on going saga will continue to entertain you! ;)

LOTRFaith – You know I was sooo tired last time, I never answered your question. :8} My daughter's name is Angela. Hehe. She's an Angel to everyone else except us though. ;) LOL, well, I hope you had a great party anyway!! And congratulations!! As much as I would love to kill Sauro, he's a plot advancer, so he has to live for a while yet. Sorry. :( Hey now, if you did that than you would only be proving Sano's point, my young Patience Padawan. ;p Well, as much as I don't want my fans to pass out because of my writing, I'm overjoyed to hear you were that into it!! :D Ditto, even now I feel worn out and simply existing. I'm not happy at my job any more, I want to move on but money issues prevent me. It's not like I'm single and parentless and therefore carefree enough to take risks. I have obligations, which are quite trying. So often my days pass while I'm numb to the world. And it's so true, sometimes you have to feel pain just to remind yourself that you're alive. (not that I go out of my way to feel pain or anything, just that when you do you say I guess I'm still here. ;) ) And the offer still stands. I know my life has been enhanced due to the support of so many of my fans. I feel reciprocation is the best way to show gratitude. Thanks again!!! :D

Death Rider – Hehe, I don't want to give everything away right now. There's still so much that has to be revealed yet. I hope that I still have some surprises for you even if you manage to somehow figure out most of my plots. :p Thanks, as always!! (and I think next chap is going to throw everyone for a loop! ]: p)

Fudge – Thank you, thank you. I was actually afraid that may be pushing it too far. But it just seemed like something he would do, so the muse demanded it be there. Glad I listened. ;) Oh yes, Yoda definitely has some meddling to answer for, but I'll have to get to that at another time. I hope your guess is right. I think the verdict may still shock a few people. ]:D Can't wait!! Hehe. Thanks again for everything!!! :D

YLJedi – Thanks! I must say the verdict was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. But I think it's for the best, better story and better drama. Don't worry, Griven will make at least one more appearance. I just hope you all like what I do. Thanks again!! :D

Delphine Pryde – I will do my best, but you really must talk to the muse about that one. Remember, she's really in control here. ;) Thanks for reading!! :D

Amazed – Well, looks like I'll only be getting the Arldetta-san stuff here. I decided to go with a completely different penname for my Anime works. I've decided to go with 'dorei no ryu' which should hopefully translate to 'slave of the dragon' or 'dragon's slave.' Although, I'm not entirely sure about that. Anyway, as much as I'm a slave to my muses, I do so enjoy torturing my readers. ];) Sorry no Qui/Yoda scene per se, but I do hope you liked how I did handle it. I really wanted to bring Tahl back and the muse provided me with a means to do it. And that is one reason why I mentioned it so much. The jury must make a decision, one way or another. No matter their choice someone will think it's either right or wrong. The whole situation isn't clear-cut so no answer will be absolute. Next chap I think will be eye opening for a lot of people. I hope you like it. ;) Thanks for the encouragement! (but I think it hit the wrong muses. ;p)

Snow-Glory – I would change it legally if I could, but I don't think it sounds right with my real name. ;) Maybe I should just change it all to read Arldetta, Angst Queen Extraordinaire! Um, I hope you can wait a bit longer. That verdict is still a bit off. ;) Hope you like the outcome.

K-Rock – Moi?? Evil? Whatever are you talking about? Oh, you mean the cliffies and angst and such. Well, in that case, yeah, I'm evil! And dang proud of it. ]:D Thanks for joining my group already, we can start discussing RH now. Hehe. Catch you later!! :D

Shan – Yeah, I thought so too. But emotions are so much fun to play with. ;) And I still have you all waiting on that verdict. Hehe. :p Yes, despite the fact he has a few people that have forced him to make certain decisions, with Sano's prosecution, he has realized that he _did make_ those decisions regardless. Oh, yes, Griven will be back. I want to find resolution there as much as everyone else. ;) I know, but my hubby said he wouldn't drive a car with that on it. :( Of course, then I wouldn't worry about him taking my car. But I would prefer his consent. Maybe I'll get one that says Arldetta. He said he could deal with that even though it sounds girly. ;) Thank you, Thank you!! Since I haven't gone to bed yet, I still consider it my birthday today even though it's 2:15 am here. Lol. Well, glad you like. And can't wait to see your reaction to the end. :D Later!!

Once again, I'm at the bottom of my Chap. Thanks again for reading everyone!!! :D And don't forge to leave a review!!


	34. Chapter 33: When One Door Closes

Chapter 33: When one door closes…..

"You have brought me to that moment where words run dry,  
To that moment where speech disappears into silence, silence……

Past the point of no return,  
The final threshold –  
What warm, unspoken secrets will we learn?  
Beyond the point of no return……" - Point of no Return (Andrew Lloyd Weber – Phantom of the Opera)

Osei-Tutu looked at the foreman expectantly. She could feel the tension in the room stretching to a point it would snap at the sound of a heartbeat. Even now, virtually everyone held their breath. Glancing around the room quickly, her gaze caught the lithe form of the rogue. He stood tall, with his head slightly bowed in submission to the decision, yet his face was a blank slate. The only indication of his rolling emotions could be glimpsed in the murky blue-green portals to his soul.

Suddenly, she had the urge to end this quickly. Osei-Tutu could no longer stand the suspense, but more importantly, she could no longer take the thought of this young man being put through more agony. And that is exactly what was happening. The question of his future weighed heavily on his young shoulders despite his calm appearance. It was time to put an end to that question. Turning back to the Panel, in a clear voice she prompted, "Foreman, please inform the court of you decision on the subject of Obi-Wan Kenobi."

The foreman locked his gaze with the Arbitrator. To look away meant his resolve would crumble and he knew that what was to come would be hard. "Regarding Obi-Wan Kenobi, this Panel finds that on the count of Damage and Destruction of Property: guilty. On the count of Aggravated Theft and Larceny: guilty. And on the count of Aggravated Manslaughter: guilty." There was a soft murmur from the audience as the verdict was announced.

Osei-Tutu continued with the formalities of the courtroom, ignoring the whispers. "Having found the accused guilty on all counts, what is the Panel's recommendation?"

The foreman took a long deep breath, his gaze still locked on to the Arbitrator, "Based upon the charges this Panel recommends a sentence of one year in a Republic Reformation facility with option of possible parole." The previously soft murmur abruptly rose, but the foreman continued in a loud clear voice, "However, in light of the accused's recent actions in returning the passengers and crew of the _Zenah_ to the safety of the Republic as well as willingly turning himself over to the Republic for prosecution, we recommend a reduction in time to a period of three months. In addition, as the criminal has a unique background, we also suggest that he be placed in the Ashua Detention and Reformation Facility in the Juvenile Division to undergo an intensive rehabilitation program where at the completion of said course, he will be released into Jedi Custody for the Council's final decision."

The low din continued for a moment in the spans before the Arbitrator would agree or disagree with the findings. Nodding, her head in silent gratitude for the Panel's verdict and sentence, she cut through the whispers to silence the crowd. "Thank you for your recommendations, as Arbitrator in this case I concur with your findings and agree with the suggested sentence. Obi-Wan Kenobi will be taken to Ashua Detention Center this afternoon to begin the rehabilitation process, effective immediately. At this time, the court considers this case closed. Court is now adjourned." Osei-Tutu rose and left the room, followed quickly by the Panel.

As soon as the majority had left, many of the spectators began talking amongst themselves. Obi-Wan stood where he was, slightly numb. He never expected to be absolved of all his sins, nor did he really expect to be handed over to the Jedi without question. But even with the foreknowledge that incarceration was a likely option, he was still shocked. He was only pulled from his void when he noticed Guillaume fussing with his things. Then a familiar voice spoke behind him, "Gi…." The deep baritone was a conflict of emotion. Desperately trying to hide the anger boiling within, the word was both a plea and a warning.

The barrister didn't bother turning, "Not now, Qui. Later."

It was the strain in both voices that caused the rogue's brow to furrow. "What's wrong?" When no answer was forthcoming, he added, "You didn't think I would get off without some time in prison, did you?"

At this, Gi stopped and allowed his shoulders to drop. Turning, there was concern and compassion in the sharp gaze. He placed a hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "It's not that. It's just we didn't expect _this._"

"This what? I don't understand."

Closing his eyes with a small shake of his head, Gi squeezed the shoulder. "Ashua. We didn't expect Ashua." Suddenly, the barrister looked pointedly at the confused youth, now holding the rogue by the shoulders, "Obi-Wan listen to me, I'll see if there's anything I can do to appeal but it will take time. Until I do, be on your best behaviour. Do _not_ give them cause to prolong your rehabilitation. Do you understand me?" A tiny nod. "Good. I will work fast, I promise."

Obi-Wan was still beyond confused. He didn't understand why they seemed so upset, why the room's tension spiked when his sentence was announced. He watched as Guillaume went back to gathering his things. No further explanation would be heard from the focused man, so instead he turned his gaze to the audience and found a certain Jedi Master standing a few steps away. The intense sapphire gems were blanketed with concern and sorrow. "Obi-Wan…" he said softly, his hand rising to reach out for him.

"Master…." Automatically, Obi-Wan mimicked both voice and gesture. But before more could be said, before hands could touch, his upper arms were grasped tightly. His escorts had come to take him back to his cell to await his punishment. They pulled him back and away but could not force him to break their stare. As the distance between them grew, Obi-Wan could see other familiar faces standing next to the Knight. And it broke his heart to see the pain in their eyes. And a voice deep inside spoke,_ Even with my good intentions, I have still managed to hurt those I love._ Unable to bear that weight, he closed his eyes and willing allowed himself to be led to a cold empty cell, the start of a cold empty future.

===

Standing at the window of his office, he heard the door hiss open and closed. Before his visitor could take a breath, he said, "Don't start, Qui. I did _everything_ I could to get Obi-Wan released to you. And I warned you that it might not happen."

"I know, and I thank you for everything that you have done, but….. Ashua? Why there of all places?"

"I don't know. I don't understand it myself. In most cases, he would have been sent to Oolon or Lasti. Those are the typical Juvie Centers. There's just no obvious reason as to why they would have chosen Ashua."

In a hollow voice, Qui stated, "They mentioned that it was his unique background that forced that decision." Unconsciously, one fist tightened.

At that, Gi turned to regard his friend. "I know you don't believe that any more than I do. You know as well as I do that Ashua's for hardened criminals, the kind that are heartless and without remorse. A Jedi background should have kept him far from that place, not force him into it. No, there's just no logic." Glancing down, the barrister crossed his arms.

For many moments there was silence. For the first time in too many years than he could count, the Jedi was at a loss. "What do you suggest we do now?" he asked of his friend, hoping to find a way through the legal mess that surrounded them.

Sighing, Gi's hands dropped to his sides. "I have a few of my assistants scanning through every Republic law, bylaw, stature, and just about everything else, looking for a loop hole. There has to be one hidden somewhere, and we'll find it."

"And what happens to Obi-Wan in the meantime?"

Sadly, the barrister caught the Jedi's eyes. "Obi-Wan goes to Ashua to start the rehabilitation program."

Qui-Gon slumped into one of the chairs in the room. Everything seemed so surreal. During the trial, he maintained the belief that somehow the Force would get the rogue released to the Jedi. But now that that didn't happen, he felt somewhat hollow and - betrayed. Never had he questioned his faith in the Force and he didn't like doing so. He just couldn't comprehend that his Obi-Wan was no longer in his care. Leaning forward in the chair, he placed his face in his hands.

Silence filled the room as Gi watched his friend. He really had no idea how console the Knight, but he couldn't just stand there either. "Look, even if Obi-Wan has to stay there the three months, he will still get released to the Jedi. It just won't be right now."

"That is not good enough." A harsh whisper responded.

Gi said as he walked over to his desk, "Three months isn't that long, you know. It will be over before you know it." Once he made it to his friend's side, he sat on the edge facing the Jedi.

"It's not a matter of time." Qui-Gon spoke through his hands. While simply sitting, the Jedi could feel the Force tremble. "This is wrong. He needs to be with the Jedi." At least, that is what he thought he understood in the encompassing.

"He will be, I promise just…."

"No, you do not understand. I need to get him back before his birthday."

Still a little muddled by his friend's stubborn determination, Gi let out a quick nervous chuckle. "I don't see how that's going to be possible. If - _when_ we manage to find that loophole, we still have to go through the proper channels to get it to work for us. And that in itself can take a month at least. His birthday is only a few weeks away. How do you plan on doing it? Break him out?"

Qui-Gon's hands dropped and gave his friend a hard glare. Guillaume threw his hands up in surrender. "I know you wouldn't do that. You may not always follow the rules exactly, but you still stay within the boundaries. But why his birthday? Can you explain this urgency to me so that I can understand?"

The Knight's large hands came up again to rub at the weathered face. The silence stretched out while the barrister waited for an answer. And just when he was about to give up, he heard the quiet baritone. "I promised."

"What?"

Elbows on knees, hands clasped tightly, blue crystal gems looked up at the barrister. "I promised Obi-Wan's Patron that I would have him back by his birthday."

Guillaume stood dumbfounded. He couldn't believe his ears. A moment later the shock receded back to a point where he could speak again, "For heaven's sake, what in the universe possessed you to make such a promise?"

Qui-Gon's reply was as calm as ever. "Because I believed I could do it."

"Qui-Gon, friend, you must have known that there was a chance you could not do it?"

Qui-Gon now stood and walked over to the window to watch the midday traffic. "I understood there was the possibility, but I truly felt the Force would guide us down the correct path."

Coming up beside Qui-Gon, Gi looked up at the stern profile. "I don't pretend to know a lot about your Force and how it works, but is it possible that this is the path you were meant to take?"

Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon stretched out with his sense. Easily touching the incredible power he searched for answers. He only made it so far when a shadow crossed his vision, blocking him from going further. The tremor he felt before continued to echo in his mind. At last, the crystal gaze emerged once more to stare out at nothing. The smooth baritone deepened slightly. "No, there is something darker here. It was not supposed to happen this way. He should have been released to us." They stood in companionable silence for a moment.

Guillaume slowly nodded and joined the other to watch the speeding vehicles just past the transparasteel. "Then you suspect something too. I figured you would, just wasn't sure until now. The choice for Ashua was not expected and therefore someone must have wanted him to go there. I'm disappointed that even a small Panel could be so easily manipulated but it is not unheard of."

"We must get him out quickly." Qui-Gon stated with conviction.

Gi sighed again, "I already told you I'm working on it. But it will take time."

"Time we don't have." Guillaume glanced at the leonine features. There was something in the man's voice that revealed the truth behind the words. Even before the boy had been sent to the detention center Gi could feel time slipping through their fingers. But how to stop the inevitable march ahead? Could they find a way?

Silence engulfed them while each searched for a way to accomplish their goal. Seconds seemed like minutes and minutes seemed like hours. Finally, the Knight questioned, "Is it possible to have Obi-Wan released for a brief period of time? Just enough to visit his family and come back."

Gi cupped one elbow in one hand and with the other rubbed his chin. "I don't know, I'll have my people check. But it will need to be a valid excuse to disrupt his rehab program," the barrister warned.

Qui-Gon never hesitated, he had already chosen the proper excuse. "The sabotage on the _Zenah_. Is it possible to get him released to help with the investigation? It was something we had wanted him to do since the technology was so similar."

"I can see if that will be enough. But I can't promise anything." Gi answered truthfully. But now that the subject had been brought back up again, he couldn't help his curiosity. "Has there been any headway in the investigation?"

Qui-Gon shook his head, "No, most of the wreckage is still en route to Coruscant for them to examine. At this point, the only thing we do know is that the Pirate's technology and the saboteur's technology are so similar that they are almost indistinguishable."

Astonished still by the similarities, Gi remarked, "That's incredible. And you're sure that the pirates were not involved with the device at all?"

"Yes, I sensed no malice or deception from them. They seemed as equally surprised to see it as we were. Besides, Obi-Wan mentioned numerous times that had he known we were on board, he would have avoided us at all costs. So why threaten something you do not wish to be connected to?"

"Perhaps one of their crew had a grudge against the Jedi and wanted to get rid of you."

"No, I do not believe so. Many of them would have been happier not getting involved with us. And with their desire to reduce the death toll, I doubt they would have arbitrarily set out to destroy us. It must have been someone else."

"That in itself is a scary thought. And with all these conspiracies, we can only hope that they never join forces." As the words left his mouth, the half-sarcastic remark suddenly brought a whole new light on the subject. One that illuminated new shadows and left their hearts racing. Both men's eyes widened and sought the other only to lock once they connected. "My god, Qui, do you think it's possible?"

"I had not thought it possible before, but now….." His mind was racing. Subtle connections were beginning to link together. The nightmare that had just been suggested chilled them down to the bone.

"Could it be that the person after the Jedi and the person after Obi-Wan have been working together from the beginning? I mean, why use a device to blow up a Jedi transport that could easily be mistaken for Pirate technology unless that was the intention all along?"

Qui-Gon shook his head, he didn't want to believe that it could be possible because it would only strengthen the silent terror that gripped his heart. "Even though there was a threat of a Pirate raid, with random raids it would have been quite risky to place such a device without knowing for certain that we would even come in contact with the Pirates."

"It was a gamble. Or perhaps they knew the Pirates' routes?" Suddenly another through struck the barrister, "No, wait. You said that the device was badly damaged, right? Maybe what was deciphered from the remains was wrong. Maybe it wasn't rigged to explode at a set time, but set to go off once it came in close proximity to the Pirate vessel. If the technology's so unique it could easily differentiate from normal Republic transports."

Qui-Gon thought back to the raid and watched as it played out. As the sequence of events advanced at an accelerated pace, he noticed something. Going over it once more, he realized the suggestion had plausibility. "The pirates were able to attack our vessel and board before the device went off. If we had been a full transport it would have taken them a little longer to collect the bounty, but since it was only a handful of Jedi initiates they were done fairly quickly. Just as they were leaving, the device exploded one of the engines. If not for the previous damage done when the pirates initially attacked the destruction would have included both ships. That suggests that there was not just one target, but _two_."

"If that's the case, this saboteur had really thought out this plan. And with all that hard work in setting everything up, I can't imagine that they're too happy right now that their plans have failed," Gi observed.

"And they would try to salvage what they could." There was something dark in the Knight's eyes. At first, Gi didn't understand what his friend meant, but soon realization finally dawned on him.

"Obi-Wan ?!" Gi's eyes widened in shocked horror.

Bowing his head, the Jedi recalled some of the talks he had back on the _Zenah_ and _Norelwind_ with his dearest friend. "Tahl had mentioned a darkness on the horizon. I felt it as well, but I did not see it until now. Obi-Wan is in danger."

Hurriedly, Guillaume tried to reassure his friend, "We'll get him out, Qui, I promise. I'll get every single one of my people in here to look for a way to get him out. We won't rest until we find it."

"Thank you. I know you will do your best. But I must see Obi-Wan, I need to warn him of the possible threat. I will contact you later, Gi." Reaching out he clasped his friend's shoulder. Gi did the same.

"I'll let you know as soon as I find something." Qui-Gon nodded. The barrister tried to smile encouragingly. "He'll be home soon. May the Force be with you." They stood for a few more moments before breaking off. Qui-Gon hurried from the Judicial district back to the detention center intent on seeing Obi-Wan.

===

As soon as he returned from the trial, Obi-Wan went to his normal place in the corner. Knees bent up, he placed his arms on top and let his forehead rest against them. There he sat pondering the events of that morning. At first he thought his death was assured, even welcomed that fact. But as he made his way to the courtroom to await the verdict, the seed that had been planted in his conscience grew. The night before he had been visited by his dearest friend, Bant. And as much as that touched him, it was the words of another that affected him deeply.

Words spoken gently by the Koyn Soulhealer. Words chosen carefully and voiced to achieve the results she wanted. Master Uulia Uvontra Vylond had asked him to do what he always had, live for others. His motives for returning to face trial and hopefully death were with the intention to save his friends and family from more grief. But he realized that to seek out death in such a manner would only hurt those he was trying to protect.

_But you've done that anyway, Bauudi. Did you not see their faces as you walked away? You're going to be locked away and punished and all they can do is sit and wait it out. Is that what you wanted? To have them suffer through your fate?_

As soon as the deep rumbling voice echoed through his mind, his hands shot up to cover his ears. 'no' his mouth motioned without sound. His entire being started to tremble as he desperately tried to banish the words that haunted him. "Leave me alone."

_No, you've kept me locked away for far too long. And I am enjoying my time with you. Just think, we'll be spending so much time together once you get locked away. Alone in your room, walking the halls, locked away in solitary._ A guttural laugh rang in his ears. _Oh, I am positive you will be locked away - all alone. You have never done well in captivity. You will lash out eventually and get yourself in trouble. Isn't that right, Bauudi?_

"please," he begged, the sting of tears in his eyes. "please, just go away."

_Never.__ Do you know how long I have been waiting to make you suffer? And now that I have the chance, what do you think you can do to stop me? Without your Force you neither have the will nor the power. You will never be anything more that the lost stray I picked up and tamed all those years ago. It would seem that you have once again forgotten who your true master is. You must be punished._

Obi-Wan let out a small sob knowing that he was at this phantom's mercy - a word it did not understand. A heartbeat later the ghosts of pain flared in his body, illuminating old scars with heat and agony. Through gritted teeth he whimpered at the assault determined not to give the satisfaction of his tormented screams. And there he sat, waiting for the torture to abate.

Hours passed. The world moved without him. So much was he lost in the nightmares of his mind that even the sound of the door and the entry of a person did not penetrate that darkness. From the visitor's point of view, the sight caused his heart to constrict. The young man had pressed himself into the corner, arms wrapped about him tightly, he rocked back and forth as the tears fell down pale cheeks. Not worrying about the consequences, the visitor quickly moved to the boy's side and dropped to his knees. Carefully, he placed a hand on the rogue's back to alert him of his presence. The reaction to his touch was alarming but not unwelcomed.

The gentle touch banished the condescending voice to the corners of his consciousness. Thankful to be free once more of the insults and pain, Obi-Wan looked up at his saviour. Recognizing the leonine features instantly, he flung his arms around the man's neck. Unashamed, he cried on the Jedi's shoulder. His hands grasping desperately at the cream cloth, holding onto him like a lifeline. Moments passed and when he stilled some, Obi-Wan pleaded quietly, "Please don't leave me. I don't want to be alone again."

For his part, Qui-Gon comforted the youth with his presence and gentle reassurances. But when the young man spoke, he misinterpreted their meaning. "I'm here, young one. I won't leave you. I will always be with you. Even if not in body in spirit."

The former Jedi wanted to protest and explain that that wasn't enough, but he decided against it. To do so would mean he would have to reveal his bane. And how can telling someone you have the voice of a dead captain floating around your head who enjoys making you suffer without it sounding incredibly stupid? No, it would do no good. Even if the Knight believed him, there wouldn't be anything he could do about it. So why worry the man any further? He would keep this secret to himself.

Slowly, he nodded against the man's shoulder in response to the supposedly comforting words. Forcing himself to let go, Obi-Wan pushed himself back up and away from the Knight. Vacantly, he said, "thank you."

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon started, a deep concern in his voice. He placed his hands on the boy's shoulders. "I do not have much time. We have come to escort you to Ashua Detention Center. I was able to convince them to let me speak with you first. You must listen to me carefully. Gi is still looking for a way to get you out, but you must not provoke them in anyway while you are there. We have reason to believe that while you are there you could be threatened. I cannot say for certain or when and where this threat may come from, just that you should stay on your guard at all times. Do you understand me?"

Once again confused sea-washed eyes stared up at the man. Still, Obi-Wan nodded. "Good, lad. I wish I had more time or could give you more information but my time is up." As if on queue, the door slid open again to admit a couple of guards, the rest of the entourage waited in the hall.

"It's time to go." The official announced.

"Yes, one more moment please." Qui-Gon looked back at the rogue and watched as Obi-Wan wiped the tears away and slid the mask back in place. A twinge of regret tightened in his chest, as he wished he could reach out and wipe the tears away himself. But their roles were already precarious. It took a great deal of reassuring to allow Qui-Gon to escort Obi-Wan. To show such outward bias would only prove that he was not capable of doing his duty without allowing his emotions to get the better of him. Rising to his feet, Qui offered a hand to help the youth up. Without waiting for instructions, one of the guards stepped over and placed a pair of binders on the criminal. Together the troupe left for a port at the base of the detention center where a transport was waiting.

The journey was silent and foreboding. Qui-Gon did his best to always remain beside Obi-Wan's side, on occasion even stealing soft touches to the boy's arm and shoulder. It was risky but he needed to show Obi-Wan he was still there for him. Something in the plea when he arrived in the cell told the Knight not all was what it seemed. But there had been no time to approach the subject. So he did what he could where he could. Another concern was the worry in the blue-green eyes. To the others Obi-Wan was calm, collected even emotionless, but the Knight knew better. Something was still troubling the youth and it wasn't his warning. He saw it in those captivating eyes when the boy clung to him. He hoped that he could dispel that worry with words but he feared there would be a struggle before it would finally be banished.

The trip didn't take long and they soon arrived at another tall grey building. The back hatch of the transport opened allowing the group to exit. They emptied out into an enclosed bay for the facility where a man in a white lab coat stood waiting.

The smile on the man's face was obviously fake and somewhat unsettling. "Good afternoon gentlemen, Welcome to Ashua Correctional Facility. My name is Hendriq and I will guide you to our admissions room. Follow me gentlemen." With that he turned and walked to a doorway. There he stopped and placed an access card on a panel next to the door. A quick verification of identity permitted them to enter.

As they walked, they passed a couple of security checkpoints. And as they made their way further into the facility the tension gradually electrified the air around them. At last, the group entered a moderate sized room with a few chairs, blank walls, a set of double doors in one wall and a cut out window next to the doors. Their escort stopped and pointed to a spot indicated on the floor. "Have the prisoner stand here while we begin the process. May I please have the data cube now?" The head guard stepped forward and handed the man a small chip. Obi-Wan was lead to the spot and held still. Qui-Gon stood right behind the young man who had not spoken a word since the cell.

Hendriq took the chip and walked over to the doors. Going through one more security check, the doors opened to let him in. He disappeared for a moment before rounding the corner and entering the office behind the cut out window. Placing the disk into the computer he downloaded the information. "Ah, so this is Obi-Wan Kenobi. We will take special care of him." A sinister smile followed.

The words sounded friendly enough but both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan tensed. Cautiously, the young man looked over his shoulder at the Jedi, eyes sparkling with tumbling emotions. Unable to offer more, Qui-Gon placed his hand on the boy's shoulder not caring what the other's thought anymore. What should have been a comforting gesture only left them feeling even more helpless. Neither knew what was going to happen once he disappeared behind those doors but worse, neither knew how to stop it from happening at all.

Hendriq's voice sliced through the air. "In just a moment the doors will open and some of our staff will collect Kenobi, then your job will be done gentleman while ours has just begun. Master Jedi, I assume that you will be our contact when we have completed his rehabilitation program. Please provide me your information before you leave. At this time he is scheduled to be in our care for a period of three months, subject to our approval. We will get in touch with you about one week before his release to determine if he has made sufficient progress at that time for dismissal."

The administrator's speech was cut short as the doors opened once more. Two intimidating orderlies stepped into the room. Qui-Gon could feel the muscles tighten beneath his hand. Feeling his own desperation, and not wanting to let Obi-Wan go, he tightened his hold. The young man turned to look up at the tall Jedi, bright sea-foam eyes sparkled up at him. Caught up in the gaze, they were barely aware of the CSF officials releasing their hold and stepping back to relinquish their prisoner.

The orderlies quickly assumed their positions. Obi-Wan jerked as they urged him forward, a single word escaping his lips as he was lead away. "master…" The word encompassed the plea in his soul. Qui-Gon's hand remained hovering in the air when Obi-Wan was torn from his grasp. His heart shattered with every step that led his Obi-Wan away from him. He didn't know if he could take losing the boy again and that is precisely what he feared. The darkness loomed ever closer and he was certain that it was set on destroying the youth. Unconsciously, he took a step forward.

Just past the doorway, Obi-Wan stopped, twisting out of his guard's arms, he stood looking back at the Jedi. Jaded gems locked with cobalt crystals connecting their souls. The world fell away and only they existed. They stayed honed in to the other as the doors slowly began to close. The white metal partitions severed the link leaving each one drained and empty.

And while Qui-Gon stood staring at the place he last saw his charge, he could hear weeping. At first he believed it to be coming from his own heart, but soon realized that it was the Force itself crying out it's sorrow. He knew in that instant that this was not what the Force had intended for them and that fate was not yet finished dealing out pain and suffering.

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Well, the end of a two year journey has finally come to an end! I know, it's kinda sad but hey there is a sequel planned. ;) THANK YOU EVERYONE who has ever read this story, reviewed or otherwise!! There have been many ups and downs and I appreciate all those who have stuck with me throughout all of it!! Please keep your eyes posted for 'Reliving Shattered Dreams' which I hope to start posting in the next two-three months. For more detailed updates please checkout my Yahoo group! Thanks! :D

LOTRFaith – I'm sorry to have kept you in suspense, but I do so love cliffies. ;) Of course there was still the possibility that I could have killed Obi, the sequel could have been how Qui the other Jedi and Tuuvu and the pirates coped with it. ;) Yes, I have decided that both Bant and Tahl are soothing balms to our boy's pain. And those lines fit very well actually with my little fic. ;) Thanks for sharing and joining my group!! I hope you liked reading the drafts. ;)

K-Rock – What?? Me, evil?? You should know by now that I'm not evil, I'm worse than evil!! I'm badong!! LOL, oh uh sorry, that was a Kung Pow reference. The main char was thinking there should be a new name for evil, like bad wrong or 'badong.' :8} I know it's a stupid movie but it's funny. ;) Anyway, off tangent, I could have killed him, you never know. But then again, to do that would have shown mercy. And that is something I couldn't allow. Mwahahahahaha. Oh, uh, sorry, that was the Sith in me trying to get out. I hope you enjoyed the drafts. Catch you later. ;)

Wisdom1 – Aww, thanks. I like being evil. ;) Thanks for reading!! :D

Chandilia Jade – HEHE, maybe, well, the beginning of the sentencing anyway. ;) My muse and I thank you!! Hope to see you for the sequel! :D

Sano's Honey – LOL, I must admit I love hearing that word when it comes to my cliffies. :D And thank you very much for the kind words!! :D I hope to live up to the standards I have set for me when I get to the sequel. And I hope to see you there. ;)

Fudge – Yeah, I thought Qui needed a lot of guilt. I was very mad at him for dumping Obi in front of the Council in the movie so this is my act of revenge. ;) And I must say I enjoy Tahl and Bant's moments, they are soothing to write. :) I hope to see you at the sequel! Thanks for all your wonderful words, they have meant a lot to me!! :D :D :D

Shan – Friend, wonderful Beta, this would never have come about with out you!! :D Thank you so much for the wonderful PB. I'm hoping to get back to the other one now that this is over, but everyone's already looking for the sequel so I will do my best. I'm sure you'll be catching some drafts at my group and if I need help you know I'll be contacting you. Thanks once more for everything!! :D :D :D

YLJedi – Thanks, and yes you bring up a good point I haven't fully addressed. Bant didn't tell Reeft and Garen for a couple of reasons. First this was being kept tightly under wraps, well as much as possible anyway. It wasn't broadcast on the Holonet nor was it an "open" courtroom. It was only for those involved and not for the public. As for Reeft and Garen, you'll find out that Garen was off planet and Reeft was kinda busy. But that will be addressed in the sequel, hope to see you there!! :D And the issue of Griven will also be addressed during the course of the sequel. I have many loose ends to wrap up. I hope I can do it. ;) Thanks again!! :D :D

Amazed – I know, and I'm sorry!! ;; The good news is that this is only book one, and that the story isn't entirely over. The bad news is that I felt it was time to cut this portion of the story off and give it an 'end' so to speak. Well, other than the first chap all of my chaps for FnB have been a minimum of 5 pages on Word. So even though it was short, it still met my standard. And I really do love cliffies. ;) Yeah, uh, that optimism was completely shot down this chap, sorry. :8} And I did like your bit of cheerleading! LOL. I wish I could have gotten this up sooner but I was busy last week working on my Sanzo costume for Otakon, which I think came out beautifully. :D And my daughter's b-day was July 28th. ;) Hopefully, you will accept this as a belated b-day present!! LOL. I thought it was cute!! Now if I could only have the muses with me along with the Force and I'll be golden. ;) Thanks again!! :D :D :D

Death Rider – Awww, CH are my bestest friend's in the whole world. I've only recently had a bad reaction to one myself, but then I said, I _am_ a fanfic writer and clifies just come with the territory so shut up and deal woman! ;) Then I got over it. :8} And who said anything about Xani?? Oh, uh wait, I think I did in a response to you, didn't I? Well, you'll just have to find out all the details in the next exciting book of FnB. ;P Thanks for reading!!! :D :D :D :D

ObiLover – Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Sorry this wasn't up sooner but I hope it managed to entertain still. Thanks for reading!! :D :D :D

justpassinthru – hehe, a sequel! :D Thanks for reading!! :D :D :D

Oh, and just one more note, I will be posting replies to the last chap reviews via review, but I will update the description to let you know when I do. OR I will post them with a trailer and then final replies in Review. Well, we'll see what happens. Catch you all later!! And as always, THANKS for reading!! :D :D

The End


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